Help! I Need Advice On How To Come Out To My Wife

[Guest sara ann]

I am a 45 year old crossdresser and I am to the point that I feel I must tell my wife of 13 years. I can't stay in the closet any longer. I, of course fear her rejection, she is the most important person in my life and I love her very much but I cannot suppress my femme self any longer. Any advice on how to start the conversation and comments on what I might expect from her would be greatly appreciated.

I am a new member and look forward to participating in what ever way I can.

[MaryEllen]

Hello Sara Ann,

Welcome to Laura's Playground. After 13 years, you should know your wife pretty well. Is she open minded about alternate lifestyles? Is she tolerant of gays and lesbians or is she totally homophobic about them? If you think she is open minded, you could try dropping a few subtle hints here and there. Such as what does she think about crossdressing in general. If she seems open to the subject, you could gently tell her that this is something you are interested in. If she comes across as negative, you probably will have some tough times ahead if you decide to tell her. Good luck/

MaryEllen

[gennee]

I told my wife that crossdress. She was shocked at first but she's tolerant of it, if not totally accepting. I would tell her how you feel. You'll know when the time is uust right. Good luck.

Gennee

[Guest Evey in Ohio]

the only advice I can offer if and when the time comes that you feel right telling her then be completely utterly trueful with her holding nothing back I tried the partial truth with my second wife and it was disaisterous but with my current fiance I laid all the cards on the table and she has been the one pushing me towards conselling and therapy and getting a btter understanding together and as scary as it was it has been worth it so far

[Guest rachael1]

Hi Sarah Ann,

I have only just come across this post so sorry for the lateness.

I came out to my wife several months ago about my cross dressing we have been together for 20 years and married for 15.

I wrote her a letter and sat with her while she read it. It went badly and i must say i sat there with some trepidition but didn't expect the reaction i received.

They were the typical are you gay? Why didn't you tell me before we got married type of stuff.

Then next month was pretty rough but i gave her enough space and time to adjust to the idea.

I am happy to say that this worked pretty well in my situation and she has now come to accept the other part of me, however we are still negotiating on what she is comfortable with

I agree with Mary Ellen in the softly softly approach using the subtle questions and maybe introducing her to your other self gradually rather then hitting her with a bombshell all at once!

P.S. Have you told her yet?

Rachael