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I Shoulda Known I Was A Transguy When...


Guest SamIThinkIAm

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Guest Mscollins

I look back at my life and notice I never put on a dress.

I only bought one skirt which I used as a table cloth.

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- I HATED girl clothes with a passion. I just felt so wrong when I wore them. I wish I had worked up the courage to ask my parents to buy me some sooner.

- When I was young I thought I would grow a penis, I never told anyone about this though.

- I also had the "phantom third limb" thing.

- When I was about 12 years old, I started losing weight. It had been OK at first (I was slightly overweight before), but then I became anorexic because no matter how much weight I lost, I couldn't get rid of the curves on my body. (I got down to 68lbs)

- On the same note, the fact that I didn't realize that my body was supposed to look the way it did at that age.

- I'm barely an A cup and I think my breasts are annoying things that get in my way.

- My hips bother me too.

- So does the softness of my body (and I'm a very thin person)

- And that stupid monthly punctuation thing :banghead:

- I usually hang out with guys, and the girls that I do hang out with are tomboys.

- I've always liked doing guy things.

- I used to look at boys' stuff with envy.

- When I got toys (I only got girls' toys, once again I thought my parents wouldn't let me get boys' things) I was more interested in how the mechanical parts in the accessories worked.

- I played with my toys like a boy would. (ex. There was a remote control car you could get for barbies, I would put the barbies in the car and start crashing it into stuff and drive it down the stairs)

- I had a male attitude toward woman when I was really young. For example, I thought that woman shouldn't join the army (I don't believe that now), and that they should stay safe at home... but at the same time I wanted to join the military when I got older :lol: (I still do)

- I wrote stories from the point of view from a male character, and my female characters were very guy-like.

- I wrote a story with me as the narrator, and I wrote myself as a boy.

- In my dreams I'm usually a boy.

- My characters in MMORPGs and RPGs are guys..

- When I'm in role plays my characters are guys.

- I mentally cringe when I'm called a girl.

- I felt like a perv when I'm getting changed for P.E in the girls' locker room.

- When a girl says "I don't understand guys at all." I think "What's not to understand?"

- I HATED clothes shopping with a passion. (still do)

- I never understood why I would need a purse when I got older, isn't that what pockets are for? (Then I realized how small the pockets in girls' pants are, thank God I finally got guys' clothes)

- When groups were divided into boy/girl teams, I would want to go over to the boy team.

- I had a very embarrassing incident of taking my shirt off at a friend's house when I was 10. :doh1: I didn't realize what was wrong with doing that, I had a moment of "Oh, wait I'm a girl... %^#@!". Luckily, my friend never brought it up again and I've moved since then, so I think it was forgotten.

- I used to have fantasies about turning into a boy or dressing up as a boy. (I can actually do the second one now, the first will require a bit more work)

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Guest BecomingNick

- The word ''purse'' actually gives me chills. I hate that word.

- Burping and not being ashamed.

- I want to be the protector in the relationship. I want to be able to take care of my future wife.

- I love my short hair. I wouldnt ever grow it long again.

- I hate shaving. I dont see the point in it.

- Stealing my brothers clothes and toys.

- Changing my name at 13, because my birthname was too ''girly''.

- I only own makeup to use for photography to make fake wounds.

- Im still trying to talk my mom into letting me have a snake or tarantula.

- I loved playing in the mud growing up.

- I was always jelous of my brother because he was allowed to collect baseball cards.

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  • 3 months later...
Guest WalckerX

I’ve always known I was a boy, even when I was really little. And I’ve had it fairly easy all things considered. So heres a list of good and bad.

  • Being devastated when my best friend Dan told me I was a girl and not a guy. I was 6 years old and it was the first time anyone had pointed it out.
  • Being asked in first grade what I wanted to be when I grew up and replied “A boy”.
  • Happiest day of my young life was when I convinced my youngest cousin that I was a boy (She still “slips up” and calls me a he).
  • Wanting to join the USMC since I was 12 and angry that they wouldn’t let me be a sniper with the other guys.
  • Hating my bodily functions with the passion of a thousand suns.
  • Always dressing/shopping in the boys section.
  • Realizing with great delight that dressing up could mean a suit.
  • Grinning like an idiot whenever someone calls me sir.
  • The anger over bras and undies *shudder*
  • Feeling trapped because you can’t explain who you really are to someone you care about.
  • Hoping that when your time of the month is late that it will never return.
  • Praying that you get breast cancer so that your health insurance will remove these damn melons.
  • Getting annoyed and angry when someone assumes you can’t fix/do something because you are a “girl”
  • Happily being mistaken as a male by TSA agents.
  • First time packing and feeling right for the first time.
  • Wanting be be a Dad, not a mom.

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Haha the earliest back I can remember having experiences that were definitely trans-indicative was preschool. Of course I only played with boys and cars, etc, but that could be labelled as "tomboy" behavior (grr, I hated being called a tomboy!) However, tomboys don't go quite this far: I remember standing one day in preschool behind a big tree, and having my friend David show me his underwear. Boys underwear were the coolest thing ever, all that blue elastic and the little superhero patterns and the Y-shaped flap to pee through. I liked them so much that I begged David to let me wear them. To kids, I guess that kind of thing isn't gross. The next day, too, he brought some underwear for me and let me keep them. When my mom found them, she was amused, but it wasn't til third or forth grade when I got up the guts to ask her if she'd buy me boys underwear (by that point all the boys were wearing boxer shorts and how I longed to do so as well).

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Guest Protoman2050

LOL! I'm M2F (more precisely, male-to-androgyne), and I agree with just about everything (save for the physical stuff...I like my breasts and my penis; hate my facial and body hair). It's funny, my Mom was a total tomboy when she was a kid, and I'm a very masculine transgirl (people used to think I was a somewhat feminine cisguy, because my dysphoria was so hard to detect).

I love stylish clothing and makeup, powerful motorcycles and firearms...I'm both guy and girl. I plan on weight-lifting during transition so I can hopefully retain my strength and lose excess fat to define my muscles, and I'd never wear skirts or dresses, just the girl's version of my male clothes (tight jeans, tight T-shirt, leather jacket).

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Guest sierrathompson1

When I would go to bed as a child praying for God to turn me into a boy by the time I woke up, being jealous of my twin brother and not understanding why he got to be the boy and i had to be the girl. Feeling depressed throughout high school because I felt I should be a boy not stuck a girl.

Now am finally pursuing getting hormones and the more I learn about hormones the more hopeful I become ;)

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  • 9 months later...
Guest Strong

-Approximately age 3 maybe 4 when I say my brothers stand to pee, told my sister I wanted to stand to pee she told me I couldn't because I was a girl.

(I could by the end of the day, without any accidents)

I cried at xmas at 4 when brother got fishing pole all I got was a stupid doll.

I played football with the boys.

All was dreamed I was a boy.

Always played the dad when forced to play house.

Had a evil kineval ramp for my bike to launch and land.

I always dug the worms for fishing.

I would catch snakes and scare my mom.

told other kids i was born a boy buy parents wanted a girl.so they changed my sex.

Didnt wear a shirt with during summer until I was a teenager and was made to.

I took care of the outside of the farm.

I worked on and fixed the lawn mowers.

I wanted to see how many 50 lbs of corn i could carry at one time.

I never ( still don't ) wear women clothes Yuck.

Never knew where to put my hands when i was forced to wear a dress.

As a adult still called a tomboy.

Dressing up ... is best looking black jeans and button down shirt.

Try to hide my expression when a good looking woman stops in front of me.

this is all i can think of at the moment

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I felt like a perv when I'm getting changed for P.E in the girls' locker room.

XD God! Has there ever been anything more true...!?

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    • Abigail Genevieve
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    • Abigail Genevieve
      On the way back to her desk she was interrupted by six short, urgent conversations that had to be attended to. Then she slipped into the women's room and locked the stall door.  She took a deep breath, then another, and allowed herself to shake for five minutes,  Then deep breathing, ten in and ten out, stretch up, touch the floor, neck rolls and she was fine. She used the toilet and a woman knocked and said, "Taylor, are you okay?"   "Ready to conquer the world!"  on her way out she found her makeup was fine.  Three stalls, two sinks.  If she ever designed a women's room with three stalls, there would be four sinks, with plenty of space to plunk your stuff down between them.   She met a deferential Karen.  "Here is the branding I came up with," she said.  And she went back to working as hard as Brenda and Mary, who looked up worriedly and then went back to the proposal.   Shortly before 5:00 she received an email with the title Consolidation and Compensation.  In it she learned that the position of office manager was eliminated, and the current office manager was to become the chief executive officer. The former CEO, along with the CFO, the chief legal officer, and sundry staff, had been terminated, per the Board of Directors.  Effective immediately everyone would receive a base salary of $20,000 with a commission to be set by the individual's supervisor.  Each supervisor would be given a certain percentage to distribute.  Most functions they had been handled would be outsourced as needed.   "The question of what profit was made last year is frequent enough to be answered.  The company lost over 500,000 in fiscal 2023.  At this point further cuts are not anticipated.  We will be strategically adding positions that will enhance our profits. Hard work is expected of everyone."   Her two web guys had been complaining because their games had been remotely uninstalled.  After the memo came out they were absolutely silent.  That gave her an idea, and after an exchange of emails they were reassigned to maintenance out at the plant, effective tomorrow morning.  There were lots of weeds that needed pulling, if nothing else. That email went out after they left early, for the day.  The maintenance foreman was a no-nonsense type who did not tolerate slacking, and they would learn a thing or two.  This also freed up two spaces for her to put new people.
    • MaeBe
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    • Davie
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    • Adrianna Danielle
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    • Abigail Genevieve
      By which I mean there is a cultural stereotype of what a man is, and one of what a woman is.  Even worse, of what a transgender person is.   You be you.   I read of a boy who thought he was a girl because he did not adhere to some (rather toxic) conceptions of what it means to be a man, so he decided he was a girl.  He was told he didn't have to conform to stereotype and got happy. "You mean I don't have to transition?" He didn't want to, and was relieved.   Once upon a time if you were transgender they told you either you transition or die.   Incorporate the best of what it means to be a man and the best of what it means to be a woman as much as you possibly can, and let the rest go.  Be fully human. Be alive. Don't conform to some cultural crud.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      On the way back to her desk she was interrupted by six short, urgent conversations that had to be attended to. Then she slipped into the women's room and locked the stall door.  She took a deep breath, then another, and allowed herself to shake for five minutes,  Then deep breathing, ten in and ten out, stretch up, touch the floor, neck rolls and she was fine. She used the toilet and a woman knocked and said, "Taylor, are you okay?"   "Ready to conquer the world!"  on her way out she found her makeup was fine.  Three stalls, two sinks.  If she ever designed a women's room with three stalls, there would be four sinks, with plenty of space to plunk your stuff down between them.   She met a deferential Karen.  "Here is the branding I came up with," she said.  And she went back to working as hard as Brenda and Mary, who looked up worriedly and then went back to the proposal.   Shortly before 5:00 she received an email with the title Consolidation and Compensation.  In it she learned that the position of office manager was eliminated, and the current office manager was to become the chief executive officer. The former CEO, along with the CFO, the chief legal officer, and sundry staff, had been terminated, per the Board of Directors.  Effective immediately everyone would receive a base salary of $20,000 with a commission to be set by the individual's supervisor.  Each supervisor would be given a certain percentage to distribute.  Most functions they had been handled would be outsourced as needed.   "The question of what profit was made last year is frequent enough to be answered.  The company lost over 500,000 in fiscal 2023.  At this point further cuts are not anticipated.  We will be strategically adding positions that will enhance our profits. Hard work is expected of everyone."   Her two web guys had been complaining because their games had been remotely uninstalled.  After the memo came out they were absolutely silent.  That gave her an idea, and after an exchange of emails they were reassigned to maintenance out at the plant, effective tomorrow morning.  There were lots of weeds that needed pulling, if nothing else. That email went out after they left early, for the day.  The maintenance foreman was a no-nonsense type who did not tolerate slacking, and they would learn a thing or two.  This also freed up two spaces for her to put new people.
    • Davie
      Except for this thung thwister: Theophilus Thistle, the successful thistle sifter, in sifting a sieve full of unsifted thistles, thrust three-thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb. Now if, Theophilus Thistle, the successful thistle sifter, in sifting a sieve full of of unsifted thistles, thrust three-thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb, how many thistles can'st thou thrust through the thick of thy thumb . . . in sifting a sieve-full of unsifted thistles? Success to the successful thistle sifter!
    • VickySGV
      You have given you and us a big clue right there.  I hope you have shared this observation with your Endocrinologist and are willing to take their advice about changing that behavior.    Non prescribed herbal or animal supplements can have a negative effect on your body's use of your available hormones.  Also, your genetics are going to be controlling what your body is going to do with your hormones, and again, that is for you to consult with your Endocrinologists.  On this site none of us are licensed medical personnel and we cannot give you advice on your health more than what your doctor can.  We have rules that we enforce against our members advising about "Folk Remedies" because we have had members who have gone that route and badly damaged their health and quality of life.  Only thing I can go anywhere on, is that maybe if you change your expectations of what should happen, you will at least not be in danger of harming yourself from anxiety.
    • Timi
      Hi @violet r!    Thank you so much for sharing. I'm so glad you found this place. I hope you find as much comfort and support here as I have.    -Timi    
    • marysssia
      Hi lovely people,   I'm a 25 yo MtF woman, and I've been suffering from low estrogen issues since October 2023. I completely lost my feminine libido, my breast completely stopped growing, my estrogen levels dropped by a lot (despite NOT decreasing my E dosage) and thus my dysphoria drastically increased. I think it is worth mentioning that, for my health issues, I had been taking ----- Lamotrigine for months & had been on ketogenic diet, and these things seem to be a culprit of my current issue. I weaned off Lamotrigine some time ago and gave up on keto diet, but it still doesn't seem to help. My estrogen is still low (44 ng/ml) and my libido hasn't come back yet. In general, I struggle with my dysphoria so much because of that and, to be honest, I don't know what to do. I've tried so many dietary supplements, yet I didn't get any effects from them. My endocrinologist didn't know how to help me. She only suggested to increase my daily estrogen dose (to 3x per day ------sublingual estrogen tablets and 3x per day ------ estrogen gel applied to armpits or thighs), which I did, without any effect.   Please, help me. Prior to keto diet & Lamotrigine treatment, I'd never had experience like that. I'm basically helpless and have no clue what to do. Having to deal with low estrogen is a horrible experience to me and it affects my life severely.   BTW, my T levels are always within female range.   Do you have any clue what exactly I should do?
    • April Marie
      I love wearing a jeans skirt!! That looks like airport carpet. Safe travels if you're flying!!
    • Maddee
      Flight faraway forthcoming Fabulous forum friends 😊😊🎸🦂
    • Maddee
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