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Kitten's Works


Guest 91curiouskitten

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  • Sally

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Guest Mirei

kitten I feel so similar to you...

I know people here want to give comfort, hugs, and so on, but...

When I think about it, these are all people so far away...

They don't really know me, I don't really know them,

I'm really still all alone, with no one who really loves me

I'm sorry that I'm being direct but...

Say if I killed myself today,

It is not as if people here would notice or care......

Except maybe one less whiner to deal with...... (>_<)

Mirei

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Guest 91curiouskitten

Thats one of the reason's I HATE thats hugs emoticon in chat, first off becuase its so happy, there are sad hugs, there are serious hugs, and when you;re having a serious dicussion tis almsot as if its mocking you and also because its a constant remidner that peopel want to help btu in the end all they can do is be letters on your screen, they cant be there when your hunched over crying on your bed and want desperately to just rest in someoens arms and not have to worry, just be able to cry in someones arms, someone who can say its okay or even just somethign warm to wrap your arms around x.x

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Guest 91curiouskitten

According to plan

I'm to be a man

According to life

That was a lie

Acccording to me

I just dotn know

According to you

I'm some kinda freak show

According them them

I'm going to hell hell

According to us

Things are not well

According to him

I'm a disgrace

According to her

She cant look me face to face

So, what am I?

A man, a lie?

A freak or a doomed soul?

I just dont know

Its worth it in the end

But will I make it?

Suffering, pain is all I know

Sticker on ym door says

*Warning: Freak Show*

Door locked, always clsoed

Even the suns not allowed

Nobody can see and nobdoy can hate

Everythigns clsoed to hdie my face.

Cant go on

Cant even move

Lifes so dark

Not sure I even want to

Wanna live

Wanna breathe

wanna move

all ym time is spent now wondering

Is it worth it?

No, not a poem, no, its not good lol, but still x.x keep in mind, I type these right there and now, this isnt writ or olooked over, its just typed there and then, and NO saying I'm sorry I hoep it works out, etc etc, Im sad angry etc etc, I write these after I write them, I'm A'ok, perfectly fine afterwards, if you wanna say somethign about the POEM, go ahea,d but nothign about me T.T

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Guest 91curiouskitten

Its all because of you

I wish you never knew

Its all because of you

I breakdown screaming now

You like to laugh at me

You love to kill me slowly

You like to slay my pride

You want to make me cry

Its all because of you

I wish you never knew

Its all because of you

I breakdown screaming now...

Its all because of you...

Its all because of you...

I hear your voice, inside my head

I just wish I was dead

Screaming at me all day

I want to scream and say

Its all because of you!

I wish you never knew!

Its all because of you!

I breakdown screaming now!

Its all because of you!

I wish you never knew!

Its all because of you!

I breakdown screaming now!

Its all because of you...

I wish you never knew...

Its all ebcause of you...

I breakdown screaming now...

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Guest KellyKat

Hi Kitten

I like the way you let your emotions flow thru your words.

Not always an easy thing to do. Good to let things out.

Even when I have good days, I write about the past and pain.

And I just feel better letting them go.

Luv Kat :)

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Guest 91curiouskitten

The worlds gone by

The worlds gone by

I stand still and the worlds gone by

I stand here

Thinking and crying

Debating life while dieing

Not sure what to do

Where to go

Not sure who tro trust

Or who I even know

You're my friend

They're my foe

You stabbed me in the back

They're by my side

I barely know me

Yet I know you

We stop

Wake up, it sjust a dream

Lifes even worse then it seems

Cant move

Wont rbeathe

Just wanna sleep

Dream hurts

But there I feel

Here I'm steel

Cant be hurt

But cant be loved

Shunned from below

And cursed from above

No peace for my soul

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Guest 91curiouskitten

I seeee aa coldness in your eyes

Looking at me so disgruntled

I seee the furrry in that ice

Trying to shun me

So many questions all them lies

You dont really care

I see your hatred with ym eyes

The thigns your mouth wont share

You hate me

You shun me

You berate me

you think tis funny

Make you jokes

Spread your lies

dont make me hate

myself even more

Stare in the mirrow

who do I see?

Me or her?

I jus cant tell

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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest 91curiouskitten

I hurt myself today

To see if I could feel

The world around is fake

The pain is the only thing real

The wrold around me spins

But I'm still stuck in place

Judged not by who I am

But only by my face

When I die just a name

My tomb just a place

My memeory a fake

My heart filled with hate

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Guest 91curiouskitten

So cold against this world

The suns rays cant fight this chill

The moons gleam my only comfort

The cold rain my only home

I wish for joy

But fear it to

Its somethign strange

Its somethign new

I cuddle pain

My friend for years

It may be the cause

But it wipes awya my tears

Its my friend when I'm happy

Because it fights the joy

Its my friend when I'm sad

Its like my favorite toy

I've known it forever

Its always been there

The only thing I can depend on

The only thign that cares

It keeps me sane

It makes me feel

It keeps me whole

It keeps me real

Its somethign I can count on

Its somethign always there

Its soemthgin I rely on

The only thign that cares

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  • 3 weeks later...
Guest 91curiouskitten

You see me smile see me frown

You see me laugh and joke around

You see me cry and fall down

Screaming until I cant make a sound

You do nothing you just watch

You do nothing to help

You let me die

I reach for your hand

I scream for your help

My lips dont move

But my heart cries out

You do nothing you just watch

You do nothing to help

You let me die

I see your true side now

I see who you are

Not my mother of friend

Not any more

You do nothing you just watch

You do nothing to help

You let me die

I go to my friends

At least they pretend

A flase acceptance

Is better in the end

You do nothing you just watch

You do nothing to help

You let me die

I dont know who I am

I dot know who to trust

Hold my head in my hands

Its about to burst

I dont know what to do

I dont know where to go

False smiles surround me

They're all I now know

You do nothing you just watch

You do nothing to help

You let me die

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Guest 91curiouskitten

You walk around, knowing inside your heart something si missing. You search, emotionally, mentally, even around the house, searchign for this piece of you that you cant seem to find. Its been gone for so long, you cant even remember what is missing, you just know that in the back of your mind it isnt there anymore. You dont know how long its been gone, or when you first noticed its disappearance, and in truth you never cared that much. It was never really that important to you, but you know it held some kind of signifcance to someoene who related to you. You keep looking, the sense of somethign missing growing mroe and more pominant in your mind, the label of this missing thing on the tip of your tongue, you struggle to realize what it is, struggle to find what it is, wherre it is, and what it is doing missing. Finally, you find what it is, its me, I've been missing for years, and you passed me off as a simple thought, gone with the thought of somethign else, somethign more important, until finally you managed to bury me away in a deep cold dark cell in your mind, the only time you bother strugglign to remember is out of sheer boredom, or to ease the nagging in your mind. Now that you;ve found me, what do you do? You start it all over, somethign flashes across your mind, and once more, I become a missing thought that you hold in reserve to think upon for your simple amusement.

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Kitten,

I have been reading through your poems and other works here and I know how hard it must be for you to write and even harder to live these things.

I am especially disturbed by the ones about not being remembered or listened to - I have that feeling from my mother and sister who I came out to and they decided for me that I was not trans so they will not discuss it at all - I am just wrong and don't even know what I think or feel - it is like I am a non-person when I am around them.

Constant frustration is far from a healthy way to life, I so hope that you can make a change soon, you desperately need it.

Love ya,

Sally

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Guest Polly

kitten - critcsm of your heartfelt poems is not needed - they are wonderful .

I just wish that i could soften the hurt ... but no one can .

Pollydee

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Guest 91curiouskitten

My mind is almost empty, I know this cant go on, I lvie my life so empty, losing my mind!

I live in this world, my body is numb, my life is one big swirl!

Cant seem to get my foot in,just cant seem to go on!

This blades cut right through my skin, the scars are sinking in!

Now its all over for me! Its all over!

Blood stains our floors dark red, blood drips from down my tips...

I slice away at my form, lifes gone with just one slip!

Cant let the next breath enter, cant let that last pulse thump...

I cant live no longer, I try this all in vain!

Now its all over for me, ITS ALL OVER!

Now I fin-a-lly cave in, I let this sorrow Win...

Lifes weight crushes me now, its under my skin!

Plans fall apart around me, the scars have sunken in!

Now its all over for me, Its all OVER!!!

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Guest 91curiouskitten

Also thanks for the thought polly ifd only it was that easy :P

And sally, more or less thats how it is but mother is really surprising ye lately, I'm curious to see how this summer is gunna go ^_^

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Guest 91curiouskitten

Have you ever known whats it like to hate yourself

To be filled with pain and to be full of all this hate

To look in the mirror and wonder every day

If its worth the price of living when isnide you jsut decay

Is it worth to lvie this life and to be filled with all this pain

Is is worth it in the end to be full of all this shame

When you dont know what to do and you dont know where to go

When you feel you're on a display like the star of a freak show

Have you ever stayed up in your room at 3 a.m

With a gun to head tryign to make it end

Or maybey just a knife pressed to your wrists

All the pain gone in just a couple slits

thsi world we live in so cold

Theres no lfie and theres no love

we're all just living corpses

The smiles are fake and they are all forced

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Guest 91curiouskitten

I dont wanna be afraid, I dont wanna run away

I dont wanna hate, who, I, am!

I dont know who I am

I dont know who I'll be

I dont even care

Just set me free!

I dont wanna be afraid, I dont wanna run away

I dont wanna hate, who, I, am!

My worlds spinning

Its good then tis bad

Im happy then I'm sad

MY worlds just falling apart!

I dont wanna be afraid, I dont wanna run away

I dont wanna hate, who, I, am!

I'm bent and bruised

Burnt and broken!

I dont wanna be afraid, I dont wanna run away

I dont wanna hate, who, I, am!

But I do

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Kitten,

The most telling lines you have ever said are in your last poem here.

I dont wanna hate, who, I, am!

But I do

I am not sure just how to tell you to do it but I do know that if you hate yourself nothing can ever get better, you have got to learn to love yourself - it changes everything.

Love ya,

Sally

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Guest 91curiouskitten

Not gunna lie, I spent about a hour googling Cure for Gender Dysphoria, and also Straight Camp for Ts/Tv/Tg, if there was a pill I could take to make this delusions of the wrong body go away I'd take it and smile with a thank you. Am I screwy in the head? Well obviously!!! I am of the knowledge that my body is wrong for my mind, its genetic its in the brain, that means its some sort of chemical imbalance, and I jus got unlucky and my brain wanted to toss me a curveball lol, I've tried quitting, just locking everything away, giving it all to my mother or something and then not even a week after a unch of sighs and razors Im back because even in this hatred for hwat I am, I realize I cant stop, I'm an alchoholic and womans clothing, my clothing, is my hard liquor, until I can figuer out a better way to express it. I hate what I am, but I know it is what I am, the thoughts of oh maybey this is jsut a phase passed out a little bit ago, I still do not see myself as a girl, but I know its hwat I am, but I see myself as Tg, and I know I cant just drop this, I can drop alchohol, smoking, chewing tobaco like a hot potatoe, and never look back ((I was an alchoholic at 16 brother kinda got me into it along with our friend thomas)) decided well I'm gunna enlist, so no more liquor for me, never looked back, never had a urge to drink, or smoke or anything, jsut, Im gunna stop, so I did. This, I cant, even when I'm trying I'll jus be looking down wal-mart, and playing my secret touch game. Basically, whenever I'm wlakign throught eh clothing section, I always imagine, whatever I touch with my hands I'll own, and guess what my hands always find, you guessed it, did that for as long as I can remember lol it always amde and makes me happy, jsut picturing it sitting at home waiting in ym closet. Then, after I realize what I did, I hate myself, I'm trying to be normal why am I still screwing everythign up like this? Why is the constant thoughts of that would look cute or I wish I could jsut wake up in the body of my dreams and live my life, why cant I wake up when I'm younger and get so much done, get a better body, nto do this and stay in shape etc etc, and then, I cave in, dres sup and feel A.M.A.Z.I.N.G, for those who dont know what amazing means, its this

A.mazing

M.AMAZING

A. mazing

Z. AMAZING

You get the point lol

So, I cant love myself because I hate myself, and I cant go from one extremem to the other over night nor do I think I will ever love me for what I am

Sorrz, this kinda went off point a bit, had a good day which ended horribly, Dressed up for my best friend and his GF, and they were like, alright, whatever its cool, so I went around all day with the undergarment and jeans, and nobody cared, everyone was fine, so I was so happy, come home, hate myself for thirty minutes, ponder the possibilties and future, then come on here n check everything, I ruin my own good days lol. As for all the lol's and XD's I add them to everything so sorry lol

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Guest 91curiouskitten

If you see me, you're seeing the wrong me

If you love me, you;re loving somebody else

If you're hating me, I still feel it

If you hit me, I still hurt

Theres a person on the inside

They feel whats on the otuside

Theres a person on the otuside

Who wishes to be the one inside

Im in a struggle to win

I'm in a struggle ot beat myself

One side hates the other

The other just wants to be free

I dont know who I am

Is the real me locked away?

Is the hated one locked away?

Is the hated one out to the world?

Who do you hate?

Why do you hate them?

Do yuo hate me?

Or do you hate what I want to be?

Why hate me at all?

Who am I?

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Guest Donna Jean

I love that, Kitten....

The wrong you...who do you hate....?

Sad, Hon...

But, very good...I like it...

LOVE

Donna Jean

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Guest 91curiouskitten

I hate both, the otuside because its wrong and I'm forced to live it every day and the inside because it isnt what I am, its just a desire to be somethign, but the isnide has made everything more difficult then it need be, more painful then anything, and all around horrible and it wont leave

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Guest 91curiouskitten

Lemme say that you dont know me

Let me say that you dont care

Dont try and stop me on my goal

Just trying to be free

I try to talk I try to listen

Try to see your position

But you dont move nor do I

I wont move till the day I die

Is it far or is it near

the choice is in your hands

Cant go on living in fear

Cant go on with these games

Got a gun to my head

I can taste the iron

Just one more pound of pressure

And I'm off and flying

Im gunna do I swear

Dont even think I'm lieing

Wont nobody care

Wont nobody be crying

Will I live or will I die

the choice is up to you

Cuz when I cry you smile

And when I smile you cry

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  • Posts

    • April Marie
      Loving this woman I am becoming.
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    • April Marie
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    • April Marie
      I so very much enjoy your posts. This one, though, hit home with me for many reasons. I was commissioned in the Army in '77, as well. Like you, I was not overly masculine in the way that many of our contemporaries were. I (still do) cried at weddings, pictures of puppies and babies, when I talked about bring proud of what my units accomplished and was never the Type A leader. In the end, it worked for me and I had a successful career.   This is, of course, your story not mine so I won't detail my struggle. It just took me much longer to understand what the underlying cause of my feelings was and even more to admit it. To act on it.    Thank you for sharing your story, Sally.
    • Sally Stone
      Post 6 “The Military Career Years” In 1977 I joined the Army and went to flight school to become a helicopter pilot.  To fly for the military had been a childhood dream and when the opportunity arose, I took advantage of it, despite knowing I would have to carefully control my crossdressing activity.  At the time, military aviation was male dominated and a haven for Type A personalities and excessive testosterone.  I had always been competitive but my personality was not typically Type A.  And while I could never be considered effeminate, I wasn’t overtly masculine either.  Consequently, I had little trouble hiding the part of my personality that leaned towards the feminine side.    However, serving in the Army limited my opportunities for feminine self-expression.  During this period, I learned that being unable to express my feminine nature regularly, led to frustration and unhappiness.  I managed these feelings by crossdressing and underdressing whenever I could.  Underdressing has never been very fulfilling for me, but while I was in the Army it was a coping mechanism.  I only cross-dressed in private and occasionally my wife would take me out for a late-night drive.  Those drives were still quite private, but being out of the house was clearly therapeutic.    I told myself I was coping, but when it became apparent the Army was going to be a career, the occasional and closeted feminine expression was clearly inadequate.  I needed more girl time and I wanted to share my feminine side with the rest of the world, so the frustration and unhappiness grew.  Despite my feelings regarding feminine self-expression, I loved flying, so I wasn’t willing to give up my military career.  Consequently, I resigned myself to the fact that the female half of my personality needed to take a back seat, and what helped me through, was dreaming of military retirement, and finally having the ability to let Sally blossom.   About Sally. Ironically, she was born while I was still serving.  It was Halloween and my wife and I were hosting a unit party.  I looked upon the occasion as the perfect excuse to dress like a girl.  After a little trepidation, my wife agreed I should take advantage of the opportunity.  Back then, my transformations were not very good, but with my wife’s help, my Halloween costume looked quite authentic.  Originally, my wife suggested that my presentation should be caricature to prevent anyone from seeing through my costume.  But that didn’t appeal to me at all.  I wanted to look as feminine and ladylike as I could.   To my wife’s and my amazement, my costume was the hit of the party.  In fact, later in the evening, my unit buddies decided they wanted to take me out drinking and before either me or my wife could protest, I was whisked away and taken to one of our favorite watering holes.  Terrified at first, I had an amazing time, we all did.  But on Monday morning, when I came to work, I learned that I had a new nickname; it was Sally, and for the duration of that tour, that’s what I was called.  Well, when it came time for me to choose a feminine name, there weren’t any other choices.  Sally it was, and to this day I adore the name, and thank my pilot buddies for choosing it.   And this brings me to my last assignment before retiring.  I was teaching military science in an Army ROTC program at Mercer University in Macon, Georgia.  I had been a member of TRIESS (a nationwide crossdressing support group).  I wasn’t really an active participant but when we moved to Georgia, I learned there was a local chapter in Atlanta.  I reached out to the membership chair person, and joined.   Because the chapter meetings took place in Atlanta, a trans friendly city, and because Atlanta was so far from Macon and any of my military connections, I felt it would be safe to let my feminine hair down.  The monthly meetings took place in the Westin Hotel and Conference Center in Buckhead, an upscale northern Atlanta suburb, and the hotel itself was 4-star.  The meetings were weekend affairs with lots of great activities that allowed me to express myself in a public setting for the first time.  It was during this time, that Sally began to blossom.   I have the fondest memories of Sigma Epsilon (the name of our chapter in Atlanta).  Because the hotel was also a conference center, there was always some big event, and in many cases, there were several.  One weekend there was a nail technician conference that culminated in a contest on Saturday evening.  When the organizers learned there was a huge group of crossdressers staying at the hotel, they reached out to us looking for manicure volunteers.  I volunteered and got a beautiful set of long red fingernails that I wore for the duration of the weekend.   During another of our meeting weekends, there was a huge military wedding taking place, and imagine what we were all thinking when we learned it was a Marine wedding.  Our entire group was on edge worrying we might have to keep a low profile.  It turned out to be one of the most memorable weekends I would experience there.  First off, the Marines were all perfect gentlemen.  On Friday night and throughout the day on Saturday before the wedding, we rubbed elbows with most of them and their wives in and around the hotel, and at the hotel bar.  In fact, we got along so well the bride invited us to the reception.  Somewhere, there is a picture of me with a handsomely dressed Marine draped on each of my arms, standing in the lobby of the hotel.  Sadly, I never got a copy of it because the woman who took the picture used a film camera (yes, they actually took picture that way in ancient times).    My two-years with Sigma Epsilon was the perfect transition.  I went from being fully closeted to being mostly out.  I enhanced my feminine presentation and significantly reduced my social anxiety.  It also signified the end of one life and the beginning of another.  I had a great career and never regretted serving, but I was ready to shed the restrictions 20-years of Army service had imposed on my feminine self-expression.  My new life, Sally’s life, was about to begin, and with it I would begin to fully spread a new set of wings, this time feminine wings.    Hugs, Sally
    • Sally Stone
      Ashley, for a very long time she clung to the term crossdresser, because for her it was less threatening.  Over the years, though, she has come to recognize and acknowledge that I have a strong feminine side.  And like me, she now has a much better understanding of where my transgender journey is going, so me being bigender, isn't the threat she might have perceived it as, years ago. 
    • Carolyn Marie
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    • missyjo
      darling you have wonderful taste..I especially love the red dress n sneaker outfit   enjoy   missy
    • Carolyn Marie
      Very well said, @Abigail Genevieve, and very true.  Thank you.   Carolyn Marie
    • Susan R
      Trans Group Zoom Meeting Tomorrow!!   Trans Group Zoom Meeting Times: April 20, 2024 6:00 PM Pacific Time April 20, 2024 8:00 PM Central Time April 21, 2024 11:00 AM Australia/Melbourne   Message me for the meeting link if you’d like to attend.   *Hugs* Susan R🌷
    • Susan R
      They may win a few battles but not the war! as @Davie pointed out there is little truth if it full of lies, inconsistencies, and ignores evidence to the contrary. I saw this article earlier and have to agree here. Truth will win. This isn’t the first time this tactic has been tried. Always stick with the truth!
    • Susan R
      Welcome @violet r! Glad you joined our forum and got through the hardest part…that first post. As many have mentioned, we are more than accepting here as we affirm your gender identity and hold no judgement, whatsoever. There’s so much here on this forum, I think you’ll find very helpful. If you have trouble finding an answer just reach out, try the search but starting a new thread is usually best to get some quick answers. Many are here for various transgender related issues but many, if not all, are here to help one another if we can. It’s great to have you onboard.   Warmest Regards, Susan R🌷
    • Willow
      good evening   good day at work today.  I did do some things a little out of normal but everything was completed successfully.  As I said earlier, the Asst Mgr was my second today.  I don’t think she was too happy about that.  Several customers asked her where Richard was her answer was the manager cut his hours.  Well that is only part of the story,  his hours were cut just like mine were and several others but in his case he made demands about his hours that couldn’t be met.  But instead of making some non complaining remark about it she made sure to lay it all on the manager, thus throwing the manager under the bus.  Similarly when asked why she hadn’t been at work early mornings, she said she was being punished by the manager.  Well that’s partly true, she wouldn’t do what the manager told her to do so she took her off opening.  But secondarily she didn’t have a car to drive temporarily.  You can’t open the store without a car because who ever opens has tasks that require them to leave the store, so it was  at least partly her own fault.  But she chose to throw the manager under the bus for that.  I think she is asking to be fired for insubordination.  And if the manager gets these conversations off the security tape tomorrow she just might get her wish.   im pretty close to being ready to take the asst position but there isn’t anyone ready to take over my job, at least not at our store.  I suppose the other shift lead could if she is able to work earlier shifts and if the other closers were just a bit more reliable.   Ive been wanting some homefried chicken.  We found a BBQ place not far away that had such a chicken but I is made fresh when ordered so it has a 30 minute wait.  It was worth the wait and the other things we tried were also good.  Another restaurant on the list.  At least half of what we ordered came home for another meal.   i get to sleep in tomorrow, I go to work at 1:30!   Willow
    • Abigail Genevieve
      It was nine thirty.  Saturday morning had rolled around more quickly than Taylor could believe.  She groaned, whined, thought of a million excuses why she should just stay in bed and knock the alarm across the room.  But it would still be going on, and so would the promise to Bob: when the gi came in, she would be in. There it was in its nice package, out where she could not miss it.  Why didn't she hide it?  She shook her head.   Up she got.  Sometimes you just do.  Her hair was a wreck. She patted it down and went to the bathroom.  Nine forty five. Shower later. No make up. She hated kara-tay especially at an ungodly early hour on a Saturday morning. Bagel. Instant coffee.  She was five minutes away when she realized she had forgotten the gi.  Back she went.   Into the dojo.  She had about five minutes to get the gi on.  She attempted to slip in unnoticed and go to the little restroom. Someone barked something out in Japanese or something, and there was a dead silence.  She turned to see what was going on. Both classes were getting into their lines, but everyone, including Bob, was bowing slightly. To her. Bob nodded, and she returned the bow.  Life started again. She was touched.   Bowing three times. Oath. Kata.  She was facing off with Judy as her partner.  Judy looked worried.   "Sometimes you just gotta pick yourself up and try again," Taylor told her. She nodded. "Let's do this."   Lunge punch and lower block.  They traded off like nothing had happened the last weekend.  Lunge punch and middle block. Lunge punch and upper block.  It was kind of like dancing. Taylor enjoyed it.  She wanted to learn more.  Brown-belt Maggie adjusted position of limbs and hips for both Taylor and Judy, telling them when she was about to do something: elbow up a bit".    "How'd you do?" Bob asked her later.  They had both gone home and showered. Now they were in a booth at a fast food place.   "I was kind of disappointed class ended. I was ready for more."   "That's my trooper."   "I'm not allowing you in my apartment until we are married," she said suddenly.   "You think I am a problem?"   "No.  I think you are safe. You passed the test  I am the problem here."   "Okay."   "What did the doctor tell you?"   "It's complicated.  More tests coming.  Like getting into college.  I got a letter back.  It seems there is this big fat M on my transcript and my current picture is not an M type picture.  I have to write a letter and send them notarized proofs and stuff. Just delays. This is a pain. Nothing cut and dried."   "I will say.  I'm glad I'm not transgender."   "Hah. You are pulled into my world.  You are involved in this stuff as much as I am, and, as you put it, of your own free will."   "You are worth it."   "I hope so."   "I know so."      
    • Abigail Genevieve
      On the way back to her desk she was interrupted by six short, urgent conversations that had to be attended to. Then she slipped into the women's room and locked the stall door.  She took a deep breath, then another, and allowed herself to shake for five minutes,  Then deep breathing, ten in and ten out, stretch up, touch the floor, neck rolls and she was fine. She used the toilet and a woman knocked and said, "Taylor, are you okay?"   "Ready to conquer the world!"  on her way out she found her makeup was fine.  Three stalls, two sinks.  If she ever designed a women's room with three stalls, there would be four sinks, with plenty of space to plunk your stuff down between them.   She met a deferential Karen.  "Here is the branding I came up with," she said.  And she went back to working as hard as Brenda and Mary, who looked up worriedly and then went back to the proposal.   Shortly before 5:00 she received an email with the title Consolidation and Compensation.  In it she learned that the position of office manager was eliminated, and the current office manager was to become the chief executive officer. The former CEO, along with the CFO, the chief legal officer, and sundry staff, had been terminated, per the Board of Directors.  Effective immediately everyone would receive a base salary of $20,000 with a commission to be set by the individual's supervisor.  Each supervisor would be given a certain percentage to distribute.  Most functions they had been handled would be outsourced as needed.   "The question of what profit was made last year is frequent enough to be answered.  The company lost over 500,000 in fiscal 2023.  At this point further cuts are not anticipated.  We will be strategically adding positions that will enhance our profits. Hard work is expected of everyone."   Her two web guys had been complaining because their games had been remotely uninstalled.  After the memo came out they were absolutely silent.  That gave her an idea, and after an exchange of emails they were reassigned to maintenance out at the plant, effective tomorrow morning.  There were lots of weeds that needed pulling, if nothing else. That email went out after they left early, for the day.  The maintenance foreman was a no-nonsense type who did not tolerate slacking, and they would learn a thing or two.  This also freed up two spaces for her to put new people.
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