To Be Honest About Myself

[Guest mzchambers]

A look back to the start of my new life. Now to understand my meaning you need to know a few things.

First of all is I am and have always been Lynda Diane Chambers, a woman in hart and soul. That is who I am, but I was not born into a woman’s body. I was born a male.

I am now in my fifty’s and have decided that living to suit others does not work. So I decided that as of January 01, 2005 that I will live as a woman. I am not out to hurt anyone. And I’m not trying to impress anyone. I am just trying to live a happier life.

I was born August 15,1952 in Lakeland Florida. I was the third of three children. And I was raised in Dade Cit Florida. My parents where good to us three children.

As I grew up I found that I did not get into all the things that young boys did. I did not care for sports or hunting or other things.

I found out that I would like to have been playing with the girls. Playing house and playing with dolls is what I wanted to do.

When I tried to tell my parents this . They told me that little boys don’t play with dolls. Little boys play Cowboys and Indians.

When I was eleven years old I discovered why I felt like I did about things. How did this come about?

I was home alone. My sister who was suppose to watch me. She went swimming with her boyfriend and did not want me along. So I was left home.

What happened next I do not remember what made me do it. All I remember is that I went to my sister room to play with her toys. The next thing I know I am dressed in some of my sisters clothes. I happened to see myself in the mirror.

This is when I knew that I was not suppose to be a boy ,that in fact I was a girl. Now the first thing that happened when I saw myself in the mirror I said to myself “Hello Diane. Now why I called myself Diane I do not know. However I feel that it was me from the start.

When I tried to find out about why I was like this . Everyone said that people where of one sex, but if they thought they where of the other sex had mental problems. That people like that need to be put away in an insane asylum .

Now at eleven years old and hearing this I decided not to tell anyone how I felt. I decided to try and be the young boy. This I found very hard to do.

I found myself dressing as Diane more and more. I keep telling myself I was not going to, but I could not stop dressing. I always felt better dressed as Diane.

This is why at age sixteen I decided to leave home. The only way I could was to join the Army. This was a bad decision. It all went bad. I was discharged after getting in trouble with the law. I joined the Army in 1969 and was discharged in 1970.

After that I was back home with mom and dad. Now as before I was having problems trying to be Bill. I was always looking for a place to dress. I got a job and a place of my own. Still I was to close to my family to be free to dress as myself.

Then everybody got to questioning why I had no girlfriend. So to keep up the front of Bill I did a stupid thing. I got married.

I married a girl from high school . I let people think was my girl back then and figured I could do what everybody wanted . The marriage did not last long . Less than two years. Yet out of this marriage my son was born.

Again people where beginning to question . So I married my second wife. Again it lasted less than two years. And my daughter was born.

A few years pasted and again I found myself in the eyes and mouths of the family. Again I got married. This marriage lasted for eighteen years.

Now none of the women I married knew of Diane when we got married. My first wife never knew until after the marriage. My second wife found out when she found my suitcase of clothes and makeup. My last wife found out when she found a letter I had written. None of the marriages ended because of my dressing.

I did not tell them of Diane for these reasons. When I decided to marry I was trying to stop dressing. I was hoping that by getting married I would change. It work for a few months . But I always went back to dressing.

I must also tell you that there where times when I thought of ending my life. I almost did a few times too. But I couldn’t. The main reason why was I loved myself. And to end it all would have been doing it to please others. So I learned to live with it. In fact it is the main reason I choose truck driving for a living.

Driving truck cross country gave me a bit of freedom. I could dress as Diane , go out places as Diane, and be myself. Driving opened my eyes, it allowed me to see that I could be me. I just had to learn that I didn’t need to please others. This took a long time to learn.

I decided after my third marriage ended that I would live openly as Diane. Yet again I was living with my parents for a short while. When I moved out I moved in with a lady who knew and accepted me.

I stayed with her until I became disabled and had to give up working. I became homeless. I lived on the street and survived the best I could.

[Carolyn Marie]

Diane, thank you so much for posting this bio. You write very well, and I can tell you put a lot of work and heart into telling your story.

We are glad to have you here, and welcome you with open arms.

We always offer our new members a welcome snack tray of hot cocoa and cookies, so I hope you like 'em.

There are many of us, myself included, who have stories similar to yours. I'm in my mid-50's and cross dressed in my younger years, putting

it aside while I worked on a family. Now at 56 I'm just starting my transition. There are a lot of us here like that. You are by no means alone

any more.

We are a moderated site, so please take a few moments to read the forum rules. There is a link at the top of most pages. You are welcome to

post in any forum, but only teens can start a topic in the Teen Forum. After five posts you will obtain full member privileges.

I look forward to seeing you around the forums. Make yourself at home, because you are.

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Donna Jean]

Hello, Honey......

Welcome to the Playground!

My oh my.....

We have strikingly similar stories....

I was in the military in 1969....I've been married twice...

And, the most important part part is that now my body is becoming the woman that my mind always has been....

I see that you finally blew off the rest of the world and decided to just be yourself...wonderful move, Hon...

I know that you'll enjoy your time here and I'm looking forward to more posts from you!

HUGGS!

Donna Jean

[Guest ricka]

Welcome to Laura's, Diane. Your's is a moving story and one many of us, especially in our age group that we can identify with. It seems like it took a lifetime for many of us to finally be who we are--and were all along. The societal, financial and religious pressures and barriers while still often overwhelming are not what once we once were when we believed we had no options. You have found an accepting family here. Look forward to your future posts and getting to know you better.

Hugs, Ricka

[gennee]

Hello Diane and welcome. The day you decided to be you must have been a turning point in your life. How are you doing now?

Gennee