An Experience Of Rejection And Acceptance

[Guest Girl Emily]

Hello,

The time is nearing for my trip back home to come out to my parents. I have been busy reading and rewritting my letter that I plan to give them after telling them verbally. An idea came to me; if I could find out the position of their church it could point to the response I might get. So for the last week I have been sending out emails to whomever I can find an address for with a position of leadership at the national level attempting to learn the specifics of their theological position. My original emails explained the pain that I have suffered and the relief experienced with acceptance. I tried to show the honest concern I have for the peace of their marriage should the react different. Then I asked the question about the position of the church. I was ignored by all but 1 who questioned me about why I was asking him. He is the director of the great lakes area district. He also suggested I contact the national office. I replied to his by asking for a specific contact, telling him I haven't received a response from those I have emailed. Beginning to see the writing on the wall I added abit of Christian guilt in the hope of a response writing that I prayed that they wouldn't consider me a pariah not worthy of Christ 's love. At this point I am beginning to believe that they do consider me a pariah and not worthy. I will likely show the record of my emails to my parents as I come out. It is one thing for family to disagree quite another to be shunned and denied the love and compassion of Lord which they would never do. Perhaps they can be an agent of change.

Now the good, no, great experience I have been having with my former Christian college. It is the place where I gained a deeper understanding of Christianity and developed my theological and spiritual world view. I have desired to finish my BA in Sociology there. With the requirement for RLT being met by attending college I wanted to see what the possibility of returning for RLT would be. I contacted my former advisor and asked her opinion on the matter. She said I would most likely find myself accepted especially if I passed well. She looked up my transcript and told me what classes I needed to take and what ones would be good to retake to improve my gpa. She spoke with the Social Work professor who has experience with the transgender community for his thoughts. She gained the support of the department Chair for my return. She spoke with an administrator to smooth the name change on my records. She cautioned me that care should be taken in the selection of professors for my gemeral ed requierments at the same time taking responsibility for this as my advisor. She expressed joy for my contact and more happiness that I have survived the darkness that once ruled my life. I have always respected her knowledge of Sociology and saw her as a good Christian woman. Now I see her as a wonderful role model as a woman and Christian academician.

Huggs

[Carolyn Marie]

Emily, its unfortunate but not too surprising to me that your Church elders have turned their backs on you. It seems that most of those in leadership

positions within organized religion, who are not outright hostile to the TG Community, simply don't know how to deal with us, or how we fit into their world view.

Rather than risk saying something that will hurt the organization later, they choose not to deal with it at all.

At least you have received welcoming support from you college and its staff. I wish you all the best on your return to college and seek the completion

of you studies. If sociology and its offshoots is your goal for a career, I think you'll do just grand, hon. If there is one thing that we transgender

understand, its empathy towards those outside the mainstream.

Carolyn Marie

[gennee]

Emily, you have at least one supporter so it could be the start of something.

Gennee

[Guest Genie]

I'm so sorry to hear you got no response from most of the directors and a not-so-great response from the director of the great lakes district! It sounds very much like many places I have experienced. As much love as I give out to my local church, I can see that they don't do the same for each other. They were more superficial about their faith than anything. It doesn't reflect in their life and it conveys as if it's just an activity they do on a weekly basis, sadly.

I pray that your parents will accept you or at the very least they pray about what they should do, if they are unsure themselves. I know personally how it feels to have a parent to condemn you for life, my only parent.

I am excited that you have someone you can call a role model! From the sounds of it, she is willing to go the extra mile to help you. She sounds like a very nice lady. Keep her near.

I especially pray that God strengthen you on your journey!

"The Almighty LORD helps me. That is why I will not be ashamed. I have set my face like a flint. I know that I will not be put to shame." (Isaiah 50:7)

Don't be ashamed of who you are! Fearfully created in the image of God and the object of his love and judgment. You are truly special.

Love,

Genie

[Guest Girl Emily]

Hi all,

Thank you for your kind words.

I Went to the national website and looked around and found 6 distinctives that are guiding principles for the church, church membership and fellowship, Basically they say that if you have a strong Biblical theology and believe the Statement of Faith which is similar to the Apostles Creed you may become a member. They defend Christian Liberty and the Doctrine of Grace. They claim in essentials unity, in non essentials charity, in all things Christ. Another phrase they used, warmth of heart, warmth of message, and warmth of concern. A major point was to not argue and battle over minor theological points and agree to disagree and be loving neighbors.

After reading this, I was more disappointed and wrote a letter to the president a Dr. Hammel. I told him my story. I raised their the points of their Distinctives that should be used when dealing with us and everyone else. I countered the vocal critics of us. And then I told him about us and our lives and how they are not like our critics portray. I finished the letter with a description of the terrible harm that is done to our community because of these vocal critics.

I offered to help him build bridges with us if he desires that. It was a very very long letter. We shall see what comes of it.

Huggs,