To My Sister

[Sally]

To My Sister

Do you remember those carefree days when worries were precious few

No fear of Sun or strangers I just ran and played out in the yard with you

You were my sister, my friend, my confidant and ally against all

But with one simple phrase I have managed to arrange for my fall

I used to play your games, tell you secrets and about the things I dreamed

But that was then and this is now and I am so different from what I seemed

Telling you was a hard thing to do but I thought it would be best

You were the first for I was too afraid of rejection to tell the rest

At first you were upset and questioned what it really meant

And then that day when you and mother passed your judgment

I was so shattered well beyond your range of belief

Surrounded by denial and rejection feeling only grief

The one close friend my playmate from that long ago

We had shared so much I felt that you should know

But as with all things said they cannot be taken back

So whether you believe or not it is my baggage to pack

To carry it with me wherever I go to feel its full weight pressing against me so

I had a choice to make, memory makes it hard but I have a path and I must go

The journey is long and hard, harder with out my sister, my friend

I hope that some day you will understand and join me at its end

I never tired of playing your games for a reason so simple yet so hard to understand

Playing dolls and jacks were always my plan, jumping rope while holding your hand

To spend a lifetime just us girls but soon that had to end

I was taught that I was a boy and I lost my dearest friend

I still love you, you are my sister and that means so much

But I need to hear you call me Sally and to feel your touch

Why does time have to cost us so much in terms of joy

Why must we rigidly stick to being either girl or boy

I am still me only now I am no longer hiding myself behind the mask

Becoming the woman that I have always been is such a daunting task

It would be easier with your support as I had planned

It is a steep upward climb and I could use your hand

But that hand that held mine and took me everywhere

Has now been withdrawn and left me holding only air

I search now on line for that is where I have found the only people who truly care

I will not slam the door in anger or distrust forever open for you if you travel there

I do not want to ever say goodbye but it does seem that we must part

I hope it will not be forever but now I must finally follow my heart

I need your advice.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Sally - you write some fine poetry. This is a good one.

BUT

That said, you sister needs to read this and understand. It's going to lose her one third through (my opinion) NOT because it is boring - not because it isn't well written, but because she will be overtaken.

Cut it to one third? Can that be done? Cut the lines in half?

..................................

I was so shattered

well beyond your range of belief

Surrounded by denial

and rejection feeling only grief

The one close friend

my playmate from that long ago

We had shared so much

I felt that you should know

But as with all things said

they cannot be taken back

So whether you believe or not

it is my baggage to pack

........................................

It is killer stuff in that form!

Just me - ooops!

Lizzy

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Sally,

I think that sending this lovely poem to your sister would certainly help you feel better.

How your sister will react to your poem is an open question.

I hope she will listen.

Love

Brenda

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Sally - changed my mind!

Just send it as is - from the heart!

Lizzy

[Carolyn Marie]

Sally, I think its a lovely poem, and like Elizabeth said, it comes from the heart.

I don;t know how your sister will react, but if it does not touch her, then her heart has turned to stone.

I say send it, just as it is.

Love

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Evan_J]

Hmmm.

I don't know .

On one hand , Elizabeths original suggestion would be more suited if you were "out to win" (ie the intent was to change her mind).

BUT

Maybe what you really want to do is "tell how you feel".

Can't say.

I'm bad with poetry. Every time I ever got some from somebody who wanted to "sway" me I pretty much had crumpled it up before I read it. Sometimes in those kinds of situations the person has already made up their mind regardless of whats going to be said.

[Guest Hoslers_wife]

I think you should send the original if that's truely how you feel, which I don't doubt. Unfortunately you all (and those that stand by your side) will face rejection and pain. I'm sorry you have to go thru this but I think the only way for someone to truely be happy is to be true to themselves and be honest with those around them. I say send it and let the chips fall where they may. I don't know your situation but I tell everyone the same thing. As hard as it is, tell her how it is and if she cant/wont accept it then she doesn't get the privilege of being in your life.

Love,

Chelsey Hosler

[Sally]

I forgot to mention to you that she is a librarian and has always written poetry.

I came out to her over a year and a half ago and she seemed OK with it until she talked to our mother and now will not talk about it because I am wrong and do not have a problem.

Thanks for your comments and I guess I know where all of the poems I sent to Evan went.

Love ya, (even you, Evan)

Sally

[Guest Evan_J]

I guess I know where all of the poems I sent to Evan went.

lol I knew you were going to do that.

I don't remember any of them being to "sway" me though.

Course if you just want to think thats where they went......

[Guest Hoslers_wife]

oh dear