Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Feeling A Bit Depressed


Guest Sandy

Recommended Posts

Guest Sandy

Hi everyone....Just want to air out a little. I came out to my wife about two and a half years ago. [we have been married almost 30 years] She accepted who I am, but has completly not wanted to talk about it. I keep my clothes in the closet, out of sight, towards the end. The only time I can dress is if I get home for work early and my daughter is taking a nap. [Older daughter 25yrs] She has seen me a couple of times and has even told me that I look nice. I so wish I could talk with my wife some more. I kept this a secret for so long that I thought I would explode. Now that I have told her and now that we still can't talk about it. I'm feeling as depressed as when it was a secret. When she gets home and with a cry of relief,she removes her bra. With a cry of relief,I wish I could put one on. I daydream all the time about us going shopping and hope

just one time she would ask me if she could help me pick out something. I so want her to understand that I can be all man, because the best part of my life is her. But I have that other person that wants to come out more and more. I'm so much more relaxed when I dress as Sandy. Everyone says to take it slow, sometimes I feel like I'm going backwards. Why does life have to be so confusing?

Thanks for listening

Sandy

Link to comment
Guest Steveanna

^_^

Hi everyone....Just want to air out a little. I came out to my wife about two and a half years ago. [we have been married almost 30 years] She accepted who I am, but has completly not wanted to talk about it. I keep my clothes in the closet, out of sight, towards the end. The only time I can dress is if I get home for work early and my daughter is taking a nap. [Older daughter 25yrs] She has seen me a couple of times and has even told me that I look nice. I so wish I could talk with my wife some more. I kept this a secret for so long that I thought I would explode. Now that I have told her and now that we still can't talk about it. I'm feeling as depressed as when it was a secret. When she gets home and with a cry of relief,she removes her bra. With a cry of relief,I wish I could put one on. I daydream all the time about us going shopping and hope

just one time she would ask me if she could help me pick out something. I so want her to understand that I can be all man, because the best part of my life is her. But I have that other person that wants to come out more and more. I'm so much more relaxed when I dress as Sandy. Everyone says to take it slow, sometimes I feel like I'm going backwards. Why does life have to be so confusing?

Thanks for listening

Sandy

Link to comment
Guest Steveanna
Hi everyone....Just want to air out a little. I came out to my wife about two and a half years ago. [we have been married almost 30 years] She accepted who I am, but has completly not wanted to talk about it. I keep my clothes in the closet, out of sight, towards the end. The only time I can dress is if I get home for work early and my daughter is taking a nap. [Older daughter 25yrs] She has seen me a couple of times and has even told me that I look nice. I so wish I could talk with my wife some more. I kept this a secret for so long that I thought I would explode. Now that I have told her and now that we still can't talk about it. I'm feeling as depressed as when it was a secret. When she gets home and with a cry of relief,she removes her bra. With a cry of relief,I wish I could put one on. I daydream all the time about us going shopping and hope

just one time she would ask me if she could help me pick out something. I so want her to understand that I can be all man, because the best part of my life is her. But I have that other person that wants to come out more and more. I'm so much more relaxed when I dress as Sandy. Everyone says to take it slow, sometimes I feel like I'm going backwards. Why does life have to be so confusing?

Thanks for listening

Sandy

Sandy,

You and I have a few things in common. I have been married for 29 years, we have two daughters, but, I am in the closet. I know my wife will be just like yours if I come out.

Here's what I do:

Back in the 60"s there was a song "Secret Agent Man" I think it was sang by Johnny Rivers. One verse said "they've given me a number and taken away my name. Secret agent man, secret agent man."

I am just that, oo secret agent man.

I keep my femme clothes locked up in my mechanics boxes and am planning on expanding by purchasing an new gun cabinet and keep every thing under lock and key. Secret agent man.

Maybe you might want to think about this awhile and see if something like this could help you out. ?

Steveanna

Link to comment
Guest Sandy

Thanks for responding Steveanna....Agent man won't work. I already came out of the closet to her. My frustration is that I want it to go much further and its like I haven't gone any further than when I told her 2 and a half years ago. I tried to be honest, I thought that was the right thing to do. Now I don't know anymore.

Link to comment
Guest Steveanna
Thanks for responding Steveanna....Agent man won't work. I already came out of the closet to her. My frustration is that I want it to go much further and its like I haven't gone any further than when I told her 2 and a half years ago. I tried to be honest, I thought that was the right thing to do. Now I don't know anymore.

Sandy,

I think you need to create a secret about this, and let her think you have given up doing your femme side. Without a doubt, she does not want to accept what you have shared with her. I tell you the truth, I have the same situation. If you try secret agent man style, you will be more free, less doubts,and gain esteem. Our wives will do anything to stop our CD activity. The sad thing is, I can't even remember the last time my wife has even been in a dress. She usually is in pant suits. Kinda like Hillary Clinton. It's not lying, no more than being a real life agent, they too have to protect identity and secrets. I know my wife doesn't tell me everything that goes on in her days at the offices, etc.

Don't give in or up.

Brothers in America.

Steveanna

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   2 Members, 0 Anonymous, 153 Guests (See full list)

    • MaryEllen
    • Willow
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.4k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,024
    • Most Online
      8,356

    JamesyGreen
    Newest Member
    JamesyGreen
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Alscully
      Alscully
      (35 years old)
    2. floruisse
      floruisse
      (40 years old)
    3. Jasmine25
      Jasmine25
      (22 years old)
    4. Trev0rK
      Trev0rK
      (26 years old)
  • Posts

    • Willow
      Good morning    Now @Abigail Genevieve and @Mmindy what makes you so certain I didn’t mean it to say bee itch certificate?  lol. Thanks Mindy. I was asleep when you saw this and fixed it, and yes Abigail, as a moderator I could have fixed it myself, or weren’t you pointing out the irony of that?   I use Alexis as my alarm to get up.  And I set the ringer to be two guys telling me to get up.  I was so sound asleep when they started telling me to get up that it scared me and my first thought were I had over slept.  Since I have a difficult time getting to sleep as early as I have to in order to get enough sleep I at least cut back my normal awake time to get ready.  But now I have to do my hair and get going.   enjoyed my coffee and a little time catching up   see you all later, for its hi ho hi ho it’s off to work I go.   Willow
    • EasyE
      Republicans have long committed grave errors by emphasizing their social agenda and moral issues instead of just focusing on the economy, lowering taxes, keeping the public safe, building a strong national defense, promoting business, touting reasonable immigration policies, etc.   The country would thrive economically under Trump's tax and business policies. That's a fact. Another four years of Biden will run this country into the ground financially (including all of our 401Ks and IRAs). But the GOP continues to play right into the Dems' hands by leading with their moral crusades instead of staying the course and trusting their fiscal policies to win the day... 
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://www.nbcnews.com/nbc-out/out-news/hundreds-athletes-urge-ncaa-not-ban-trans-athletes-womens-sports-rcna149033     Carolyn Marie
    • KymmieL
      Well first day is over and now getting ready for bed soon. Work was OK.   Don't know why but I am feeling down. I am heading to bed. Good Night.   Kymmie
    • Adrianna Danielle
      Boyfriend and I our time at my place.Both admit our sex life is good,got intimate for the 2nd time and he is good at it
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Thanks.  I will look those up in the document, hopefully tomorrow.   I always look at the source on stuff like this, not what someone, particularly those adversarial, have to say. 
    • MaeBe
      LGBTQ rights Project 2025 takes extreme positions against LGBTQ rights, seeking to eliminate federal protections for queer people and pursue research into conversion therapies in order to encourage gender and sexuality conformity. The policy book also lays out plans to criminalize being transgender and prohibit federal programs from supporting queer people through various policies. The project partnered with anti-LGBTQ groups the Family Policy Alliance, the Center for Family and Human Rights, and the Family Research Council. Project 2025 calls for the next secretary of Health and Human Services to “immediately put an end to the department’s foray into woke transgender activism,” which includes removing terms related to gender and sexual identity from “every federal rule, agency regulation, contract, grant, regulation, and piece of legislation that exists.” The Trump administration proposed a similar idea in 2018 that would have resulted in trans people losing protections under anti-discrimination laws. [Project 2025, Mandate for Leadership, 2023; The New Republic, 2/8/24] Similarly, the policy book calls for HHS to stop all research related to gender identity unless the purpose is conformity to one's sex assigned at birth. The New Republic explains: “That is, research on gender-nonconforming children and teenagers should be funded by the government, but only for the purpose of studying what will make them conform, such as denying them gender-affirming care and instead trying to change their identities through ‘counseling,’ which is a form of conversion therapy.” [The New Republic, 2/8/24] The policy book’s foreword by Kevin Roberts describes “the omnipresent propagation of transgender ideology and sexualization of children” as “pornography” that “should be outlawed,” adding, “The people who produce and distribute it should be imprisoned.” Roberts also says that “educators and public librarians who purvey it should be classed as registered sex offenders. And telecommunications and technology firms that facilitate its spread should be shuttered.” [Project 2025, Mandate for Leadership, 2023] Roberts’ foreword states that “allowing parents or physicians to ‘reassign’ the sex of a minor is child abuse and must end.” Echoing ongoing right-wing attacks on trans athletes, Roberts also claims, “Bureaucrats at the Department of Justice force school districts to undermine girls’ sports and parents’ rights to satisfy transgender extremists.” [Project 2025, Mandate for Leadership, 2023; TIME magazine, 5/16/22] Dame Magazine reports that Project 2025 plans to use the Department of Justice to crack down on states that “do not charge LGBTQ people and their allies with crimes under the pretense that they are breaking federal and state laws against exposing minors to pornography.” [Dame Magazine, 8/14/23] Project 2025 also calls for the Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services to repeat “its 2016 decision that CMS could not issue a National Coverage Determination (NCD) regarding ‘gender reassignment surgery’ for Medicare beneficiaries.” The policy book’s HHS chapter continues: “In doing so, CMS should acknowledge the growing body of evidence that such interventions are dangerous and acknowledge that there is insufficient scientific evidence to support such coverage in state plans.” [Project 2025, Mandate for Leadership, 2023] Going further, Project 2025 also demands that the next GOP administration “reverse policies that allow transgender individuals to serve in the military.” The policy book’s chapter on the Defense Department claims: “Gender dysphoria is incompatible with the demands of military service, and the use of public monies for transgender surgeries … for servicemembers should be ended.” [Project 2025, Mandate for Leadership, 2023]   …summaries of what’s within the rest of the document re: LGBTQ+ concerns. A person can believe their gender is fixed but incongruent with their physiology, but the authors and Trump (by his own words) just see the incongruity of an “expressed gender” that conflicts with what was/is in a person’s pants.
    • Mmindy
      Good catch… I took care of it.
    • Sally Stone
      I'm tired of the two-party system.  It has degraded to a system where there are only two diametrically opposed views, neither of which supports me.  I have conservative views regarding big government and government spending but I have very liberal views when it comes to protecting the rights of individuals.  And just elections of the past, I am stuck with two choices, neither of which I support. With only two parties, each with agendas that are off the left and right scales, I am not adequately represented.    Finally, I'm okay with party affiliated politicians running for office using their party views, but once elected to office, they are obligated to support the entire electorate not just the electorate members that voted for them.  Plain and simple, our government system is broken and dysfunctional.  I'll step down from my soapbox now.     
    • Sally Stone
      Thanks Mae.  She was an amazing friend and I grew to love her like a sister.
    • Sally Stone
      I did Ashley.  Non-rev travel was one of the major factors for taking the job.  At the time, US Airways had the best non-rev policy in the industry.  It cost $10 to fly coach and $25 to fly first class.  We flew first class whenever there were seats available.  
    • Abigail Genevieve
      You should have a moderator fix what you meant to write as "birth certificate".  Ooops.   I've gone over that verse and am wholly and completely dissatisfied with the SBC exegesis of it, so much so that it was one of the things that helped me break out of a mindset of guit.  Sometime I may strut by stuff as a Hebraist and show what it really means.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I found this   — 450 — Mandate for Leadership: The Conservative Promise Goal #1: Protecting Life, Conscience, and Bodily Integrity. The Secretary should pursue a robust agenda to protect the fundamental right to life, protect con- science rights, and uphold bodily integrity rooted in biological realities, not ideology. From the moment of conception, every human being possesses inherent dignity and worth, and our humanity does not depend on our age, stage of development, race, or abilities. The Secretary must ensure that all HHS programs and activities are rooted in a deep respect for innocent human life from day one until natural death: Abortion and euthanasia are not health care. A robust respect for the sacred rights of conscience, both at HHS and among gov- ernments and institutions funded by it, increases choices for patients and program beneficiaries and furthers pluralism and tolerance. The Secretary must protect Americans’ civil rights by ensuring that HHS programs and activities follow the letter and spirit of religious freedom and conscience-protection laws. Radical actors inside and outside government are promoting harmful identity politics that replaces biological sex with subjective notions of “gender identity” and bases a person’s worth on his or her race, sex, or other identities. This destructive dogma, under the guise of “equity,” threatens American’s fundamental liberties as well as the health and well-being of children and adults alike. The next Secretary must ensure that HHS programs protect children’s minds and bodies and that HHS programs respect parents’ basic right to direct the upbringing, education, and care of their children.   https://static.project2025.org/2025_MandateForLeadership_CHAPTER-14.pdf   First, that is not much, if that is all that is of concern.  Secondly, I have seen all sorts of anti-Trump slander, including the Steele dossier and the lawfare he is now undergoing, to be cynical of any criticism against him, and indirectly this document.    He deserves some of what he is getting, but not all.  Thirdly, I bolded one statement of concern.   I don't think gender identity is subjective.  "Radical actors" is name calling, and there is a lot of that going around.  Maybe I am not seeing everything of concern or reading this right, but i would discuss with the author of this document concerning this.
    • Willow
      Good evening   well I finally finished reading my textbook.  Yeah.  But I still have a lot more to go for the class.     My endocrinologist always asks me about lactation.  And yes I have had some very small amounts of leakage but not on any regular basis.  I figure I blocked the discharge Duce when I pierced my nipples with scare tissue.  But who knows.  I also get asked about mammograms.  I e had my first or baseline and this fall I will need to schedule my second.   As someone in the midst of studying the Old Testament, I can say that I haven’t found any mention of pending damnation for being transgender or intersex.  The closest it comes is a verse that says men should not wear women’s clothing.  Now I don’t know each and everyone’s particulars, but I know I meet the medical definition of female gender, and even in Ohio, a State that until recently refused to allow birth certificates to be changed, I meet the criteria.  Therefore I can only conclude I am not a man wearing women’s clothing.  But there is a somewhat different scholarly explanation of that law that it should not be taken as literally as the haters want.  Mostly men should not pretend to be women to ex ape from their enemies. Or tried to hide from God.     willow
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Well, the left wing has been doing that.    I read a few things while trying to find out what the problem is and liked what I read.  But I am a conservative.    Is there something specific in there that is of concern?  Does it promise somewhere to erase trans folk? That would be problematic.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...