A Question For Guys Who Are Into Guys.

[Guest Jamie-o]

Hello there. New poster here.

I have known since I was about 3 or 4 years old that I wasn't really a girl. Yet I still find myself waffling over whether or not to go through with the transition. One of the major hesitations that I have is that I am very much attracted to men, and not at all to women. I'm hesitant to limit my prospects to only 10% of the male population.

So my question is this: In general do you find that the gay male community is supportive and understanding of your situation, or do you get a lot of, "You're not really a guy, so why are you wasting my time?"

Also, can anyone suggest any books/articles/websites that feature the experiences of people transitioning from straight woman to gay man? Thanks.

[Guest Sergei]

Hey, I'm gay transman, and just like you have always known from a young age that I am really attracted to men. Unfortunatly I am yet to have a relationship with a man, although this never put me off transitioning, because I seriously doubt I could have ever had a relationship with anybody as the wrong gender. I do however have many gay male friends, and have asked them this question as well before. I have found that the reaction is about the same as when I ask anybody about if they could have a relationship with a transgender person. Some say yes, and some say no. I think that a lot of gay men are open to transmen, some even like it. Most of them have told me that if they met a man they really fell in love with, then it wouldn't matter if he was a transman, or a cisman.

[Guest MarkG]

I had this question too, but it became a non-issue for me when i realised I can't stay a "female". I'm still a bit worried over it but I figure maybe enthusiasm can make up for alot (equipment-wise I mean)? I mean I know i could probably get more guys as a "female" but I just couldn't live as one. So while I hate the idea of making my chances slimmer (possibly) it's really not a choice for me. Anyways, I'm attracted mainly to people for what they are and not just their body, so what I'm hoping is the type of people I'd want to understand would feel the same way about me. Like attracts like, you know? anyways, I'm glad to hear it's not so bleak as I was worried it might be, since I'm really into guys, and that's not likely to change.

[Guest Ryles_D]

I'll only date asexuals, so I'm limited to 1% of the population no matter what I do. Does that make you feel any better?

Honestly, I've dated a few guys, and while my asexuality did make the relationships hell (especially since I didn't realize it at the time and everyone made me feel like dirt for not wanting to do anything with them), the fact I have the wrong body made it even worse. Yeah, you're making it harder for yourself, but are you really happier with someone who'll only be with you if you pretend to be someone you aren't?

[Guest GoldenKirbichu]

I'll date anyone who can deal with me. That number seems to be really small because I haven't had a relationship that's lasted more than a few years yet.

But I'm into guys as well as girls, and usually I find myself attracted to guys faster because I hit it off with them emotionally. This causes me a lot of problems because the guys I know are straight...

I know I'd rather be out of a relationship than in one that made me unhappy, though.

[Guest raydub]

can anyone suggest any books/articles/websites that feature the experiences of people transitioning from straight woman to gay man?

i dont know if you guys read it, but there is an entire issue of Out magazine focusing on the transgender and transexual community. there was a pretty cool article in there about Transgender fags. [disclaimer: i personally like and embrace the term trannyfag, but pardon my bias if you dont feel the same way.]

you can find a couple opinions and experiences in there - of course the playground is a good place for that too.

[Guest JayJaye]

This is my question as well. I've always been a man who preferred men, and i've been married and had kids, the only thing lacking for me was my own equipment, so i enjoyed theirs. I have been able to stuff my feelings for a long time and they are resurfacing now that i'm divorced and not in a relationship. I, too, am not sure if I should do anything about who i really am, i don't hate my body totally, i guess i've accepted it. If the men i've been with knew my thoughts i'm sure they would have freaked.

Jaye

[Guest KyleMicheal]

Hmm.

Well, there was this one homo guy at my school. He really liked me, even if I had the female anatomy.

Some gay men only are in it for...uhh, sex I guess.

My theory: gay men are usually more sensitive and understanding of differences. Sure, they may not be attracted to the anatomy of yourself, but they probably would be more accepting of your difference.

Plus, a guy who would love you even if you don't have the "equipment" is much more worth your time and will probably will provide a much better relationship.

Then again, my boyfriend is straight. (funny, doesn't mind if I wear any, ahem, "equipment")

[Guest BillyMack]

I am a gay transman and I have found it next to impossible to even get accepted as a man, let alone a gay man in the gay community. Here in Los Angeles it seems that if you are not young, hung and perfectly sculpted you get ignored, or worse. I have not lost hope that there is a man out there who will accept me, but hope is waning. I have no regrets about transitioning. I had to do it to be happy, and that is a good thing. And I know I have a lot to offer the right man, even though I don't have a penis. Things like compassion, love, honesty, friendship, and companionship. In other words, a relationship outside of the bedroom.

I dunno. Sometimes I wonder if it's all worth it.

~Billy

[Guest Jamie-o]

Here in Los Angeles it seems that if you are not young, hung and perfectly sculpted you get ignored, or worse.

Yeah, it's that kind of shallowness that was one of the reasons I left CA. (Along with the cost of living.)