Pregnant Transman: Does It Help Or Hurt Us?

[Guest]

By now I've sure you've all heard about the Pregnant Transman http://www2.oprah.com/tows/slide/200804/20...3_350_101.jhtml and http://abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=4581943 . I wanted to get your opinions. Does this propel us forward or push us back? Would love to hear your comments.

Laura

[Guest Michelle M]

It hurts us. He's doing what's outside of the norm, so of course people are freaked out. I personally think part of him is reveling in all this attention. What was the point of going on Oprah? He says he fears for the family's safety, and the child's safety. Well if you fear these things, then why did you do it? It's somewhat selfish. Imagine the hell that child will go through just because he wants media attention. If he would have just adopted like any other infertile couple, his family could be happy, undisturbed, and gone under the radar.

[Guest KyleMicheal]

It does have the potential to help us. It can raise awareness. It can make people understand.

But I think it hurts more. It will create controversial viewpoints. It can create more transphobes. It can make us more known and less accepted.

In the long run, it could just be better for the next generation. For the gays and lesbians, they are getting more accepted. Maybe trans will be the next step...

So in the short run, hurt but in the long run...help.

(that's my theory anyway)

[Guest Rory]

I think it will do damage..if it doesn't move us back it will almost definitely stop us moving forward. Personally, I just want to be seen as male, I've never identified as anything but male and have always taken the view that I simply lack the proper 'equipment' to have a biological child.

He has clearly not considered anyone but himself and his wife in this equation. How can someone expect to be accepted as a man and then go off and get pregnant. The baby still won't be 'theirs'. It seems to me, he is treating his 'transition?' as a lifestyle choice. He has no concern for inevitable repercussions for the rest of the community, whom a lot of biological people fail to take seriously as it is. I agree with Michelle, they should have adopted like a 'normal' couple in that situation would. I don't understand how he can claim to be male, and give birth to child, which is a female...ability.

This whole thing just blows my mind. I'm going to stop writing now....my head hurts.

Rory

[Guest]

I wonder about Testosterone effects on the child even though he was off T for two years. Doesn't T wreak havoc on eggs? Could another trans child be created here? They say it occurrs in the womb. In Addition there will be legal ramifications for all when he calims to be the father on the birth certificate. I wonder if a reason for going public was economic. Certainly being able to claim being the first pregnant man will bring him financial opportunity. I think it exploits us and brings the wrong kind of attention. Could it be he sees this as a way to support his family in the long run?

Laura

[Guest Chris_421]

I'm still quite confused by this situation. I understand the want for a biological child, but my beliefs are if you can't have a child naturally (including even infertile hetero couples) just adopt. So many kids out thee need a stable and loving family. That's a big gift you can give a child.

There have been transmen before him to have been pregnant, but we haven't heard about them.

This is what one guy wrote in an FTM group I'm in:

"If I’m not wrong, I heard him say on the show that he was the one that came forward...he was the one that went to the media. I believe that he wrote an article or something for the advocate, then People Magazine got in on the deal and worked with Oprah on the show. Then at the end of the show his wife just happened to throw out that he was writing a book and if they indeed had to go into hiding that was how they’d have money."

I am worried about the political spin this could take, the USA has the election coming up if I'm right, and here in Canada...well it's like Harper wants to be G. Bush.

And I have heard that T causes issues with the female reproductive system, so that's why it's suggested to have them removed by 5 years on T. Isn't higher levels in testosterone in the womb the 'reason' for being trans? Not that its completely bad for the child to end up either intersexed or trans. I guess in regards to the kids health we will just have to wait and see.

[Guest Ryles_D]

According to the comments on http://jezebel.com/370376/the-brave-new-wo...ty-pregnant-men a lot of people are okay with it. The most 'negative' thing I've seen on that is "How will you explain that to the kid?" and (about the other story mentioned, about the transman at an all-girls) that it'd be weird seeing a guy walking around the dorms, showers, etc of an all-girls school. But I know those aren't the only views.

I hope it doesn't push us back too much. On another trans site, some guys suggested that this will make it harder to transition. Especially if you're somewhere where you need your uterus out to change your legal sex, since doctors might be hesitant to because "you might want to have a baby later", like this guy did. :/ They can do that anyways, but if you assume men don't want babies, then that isn't a concern with transguys. But then it turns out that a guy might still want to get pregnant. p_q

If people take this as "he's still a man", it can push us forward. We're already trying to break down walls in terms of gender. Hopefully if people can accept a pregnant man, we'll get closer to getting rid of gender roles.

[Guest Katie-Louise]

I think if he wants to have a baby that is somewhat genetically his and his partners then I have no problem with that. His wife had to have her womb removed and I respect his decision to carry the baby. The fact he has publicized himself is something I don't agree with did he take into concern the safety of not only himself but his wife and his child. I wouldn't of thought someone who wants to be socially accepted as a man would do something as get pregnant and lose his stealth but that is his decision. What is normality for each and every person it is different. I think at the moment it is painting us in a bad light but I think it will help us further in the future. Just my opinion

Love

Emily

xoxox

[Guest GoldenKirbichu]

I don't know. I personally think this is a good thing for our community, and he isn't the first transman to be pregnant either. The problem is, the non-trans community is already resisting having its mores and values turned upside down. Most people don't want to consider the potential of men being pregnant. So this may also hurt us in the short run.

However, gender norms are changing.

[Guest Chris_421]

So far with the responses I've seen have all be putting him down as a 'she' and a 'woman', so I think it's way far off of breaking down the gender wall. Way far off.

[Guest Just_Call_Me_Nick]

It hurts us. He's doing what's outside of the norm, so of course people are freaked out. I personally think part of him is reveling in all this attention. What was the point of going on Oprah? He says he fears for the family's safety, and the child's safety. Well if you fear these things, then why did you do it? It's somewhat selfish. Imagine the hell that child will go through just because he wants media attention. If he would have just adopted like any other infertile couple, his family could be happy, undisturbed, and gone under the radar.

Totally agree with Michelle on this one....

I wonder about Testosterone effects on the child even though he was off T for two years. Doesn't T wreak havoc on eggs? Could another trans child be created here? They say it occurrs in the womb. In Addition there will be legal ramifications for all when he calims to be the father on the birth certificate. I wonder if a reason for going public was economic. Certainly being able to claim being the first pregnant man will bring him financial opportunity. I think it exploits us and brings the wrong kind of attention. Could it be he sees this as a way to support his family in the long run?

Laura

And all the right questions have been asked right here.....I see it as the wrong type of attention...

Nick~

[Guest Rika-chama]

I think it hurts more than it helps. It kinda makes us trans people look like freaks or that transmen aren't actually men and stuff like that. I remember from our sociology discussions about this hearing a lot of confusion over if he's a man or not since he still has his uterus and ovaries and is pregnant. I think a lot of people are looking at this negatively seeing him as a freak and then labling all transsexuals as freaks. =/

I understand they wanted a biological child but in the end I think they should have adopted. There are so many wonderful children out there who need loving parents and those infertile or gay couples could be those parents

[blackkatsen]

It hurts because men don't get pregnant. That just make you look like freaks and raises the question about why you would go through those operations just to get pregnant. People will think you are still the same gender as you were before transitioning because they see a man getting pregnant. They think "Oh, well if he's pregnant, he's obviously still a she".

If you're going to try and say you're normal, well this isn't normal male or female behavior.

[Guest Mr. Fox]

This probably hurts the reputation of transsexuals a little, but mostly just reveals the prejudices that people have anyway. Anyway, none of us have right to tell him what to do with his body and his life. If he wants to have a baby, there's nothing wrong with that. He can't live his whole life worrying about what people will think, or even how it will affect the "transgendered community." My only concern would be the effects of testosterone on the womb.

Adrian

[Guest mr_marc]

Alls i can think is, why after all that?!

I think it sets transmen back abit about being taken seriously because he's doing the most womanly thing you can. I myself couldnt cope. Not even for a loved one would i do that. I'd just say adopt lol, i mean ok he really has and no pun intended, but he does have testicles doing this cause not many if not none would do this. Ever.

But i still dont see why after all those years of being trapped cause no one is going to take him seriously and it could effect later treatment.

[Guest GoldenKirbichu]

I don't think this is a question of "normal" behaviour or not. What is normal, anyway? We of all people should understand that this is hardly a question of normalcy or not.

The issues should be the health of the child [who may end up transgendered or intersex zirself...] and the social and legal implications for us transmen, and transpeople in general.

Adoption would have saved us from a lot of these problems I suppose, and he could have remained quiet about it but it's unfair to tell him what to do with his life...

Technology has advanced to the point where it is conceivably possible for a transwoman to gain an implanted uterus and carry a baby to term. If it's possible for a transwoman, one could say it's also possible for a cisman... and then, perhaps, there would be cismen who would want to carry babies as well in future. Should we reject them this opportunity?

Raises a lot of questions.

[Guest Kelly]

It hurts us. He's doing what's outside of the norm, so of course people are freaked out. I personally think part of him is reveling in all this attention. What was the point of going on Oprah? He says he fears for the family's safety, and the child's safety. Well if you fear these things, then why did you do it? It's somewhat selfish. Imagine the hell that child will go through just because he wants media attention. If he would have just adopted like any other infertile couple, his family could be happy, undisturbed, and gone under the radar.

agreed

[Guest Huff]

It hurts us. He's doing what's outside of the norm, so of course people are freaked out. I personally think part of him is reveling in all this attention. What was the point of going on Oprah? He says he fears for the family's safety, and the child's safety. Well if you fear these things, then why did you do it? It's somewhat selfish. Imagine the hell that child will go through just because he wants media attention. If he would have just adopted like any other infertile couple, his family could be happy, undisturbed, and gone under the radar.

I agree as well. Plus, there is the whole fundamental idea of being a man. I mean, I guess I could understand more if someone were to identify as genderqueer or androgyne or something, to go through the whole ordeal of becoming a man and then to chose to be pregnant... it seems contradictory.

[Guest kristan]

I wonder what gives us any right to judge this person's decision? A life is a life, whether it is transman, transwoman, or any variation inbetween. Judging and opinionating on a trans persons choices only makes us as bigotted as any person who has put us down and decided with prejudice what the correct and proper thing to do is. Frankly, its embarresing to hear the words 'I disagree' with 'his' choices, he has a choice and the right to do what he wants. Has the transgender movement gained so much ground, that we now critique and belittle our own?

Kristan

[Guest Mr. Fox]

I wonder what gives us any right to judge this person's decision? A life is a life, whether it is transman, transwoman, or any variation inbetween. Judging and opinionating on a trans persons choices only makes us as bigotted as any person who has put us down and decided with prejudice what the correct and proper thing to do is. Frankly, its embarresing to hear the words 'I disagree' with 'his' choices, he has a choice and the right to do what he wants. Has the transgender movement gained so much ground, that we now critique and belittle our own?

Kristan

You said what I meant, but much more eloquently. We can't blame him for the prejudice of others.

Adrian

[Guest Darrel]

I think it hurts us. I don't care if a man is pregnat and has a child; that's his decision. However, as the transgendered community is trying its hardest to appeal to "normal" society, and to freak them out even more and call negative attention to ourselves is...not helping us. I'm not judging him at all, I just think going so public with it hinders more than helps.

Plus, this will hurt a FtM's credibility quite a bit. "You sure you want to be a man? You positive? I dunno, you might want to get pregnat and have a child...perhaps we should leave the womb and ovaries and estrogen in..for just in case." Or, "FtMs aren't real; they're just women who want to say they're pregnat men and get attention that way."

In fact, Thomas Beatie being on Oprah and Fox News and Bill O'Reilly has upset my family very much. I've had to listen to their snarling comments for almost a week. I finally snapped and chewed my mother's head off, but I would prefer things just go unnoticed rather than make a big show. *shrug*

[Flint]

Personaly......I think it's hurt us. My farther, sister and mother read about this and they have become even more disgusted with the whole thing. sad for me. (Thats me being selfish here) I dont mean to be. But now they ar emore disgusted it's just made things a hell of a lot worse. But it's his choice. and not his fault that people are so horrible about things. I guess this wasnt something he could realy keep a secret, i think it would have got out anyhow...i mean....people are gonna see this man...who appears to be pregnant....... Unless he locks himself in the house 24/7 till the baby is born! and peope would wonder where the baby magically appeared from...... I dunno i may be talking rubbish right now. I'm tired lol. It could also make people more aware....but i dont wanna sound like i'm against what he has done........But.....I'm not sure this is the kinda awarness we need...I think this is actually negative awarness. Cause i can be open minded as i want to be it doesn't change that other people will just see this as odd and see us more as freaks, more so than tehy already do. I could never personally go through that, i;m a man, the idea of being prenant just no......I'm not saying this makes him less of a man by the way....I'm just sayin i feel i would feel wrong as a man being pregnant.

[Guest kristan]

Mr. Fox,

I should have stated I agreed w/ your opinion in my earlier post, the only thing I disagreed w/ was your concern on testosterone on the fetus. If it has an effect, (which I am not sure is clinically proven) then there is no concern, however, if you are correct in that concern, does it still matter? Human kind is capable and willing to manipulate and do as we wish. That is our freedom, as long as it falls under the current laws established. Morally speaking, I think this transman has every right to do as he wishes, and I stick to my opinion, that we should not judge.

peace and smurfs,

Kristan

[Guest Wolfgang E. Beilschmidt]

I have mixed feelings about this. In a way, it helps, simply by giving us some exposure, though a pregnant transman isn't quite the type of exposure I would've hoped for. However, it could be something worse--Much worse. I'll count my blessings, our blessings, that we're not getting publicity from a psycho serial killer or something. I'll certainly take the pregnant guy over that any day.

I watched the Oprah interview with my mom, and she kept saying "The world isn't ready for this." No, it probably isn't, but should people have to put their lives on hold just because the world isn't ready. I'd suggest that if everyone waited around for society to be "ready," we'd still be living in caves. So, I don't fault Mr. Beatie. He just wants to live his life and have a family, and he shouldn't have to stop and think about whether other people are going to have issues about it. I think he handled it in the best way he could have, by going to the press before someone else did.

Personally, I can't relate to the need to have kids, and I've known since I was 4 that I wanted nothing to do with childbearing. But, to each his own. The most negative thing I can see coming out of this is a legal requirement that forces us to get a hysterectomy before we can get our legal gender change, but I thought that was already in place. I've heard Social Security is really strict, so I'm not sure how Mr. Beatie got away with his gender change. But I confess that I don't know the law very well, as I haven't yet started the I.D. change process.

[Guest Mr. Fox]

Ah, with the effects of testosterone. I mostly don't care, only if it is proven that the effects can cause horrible birth defects (i.e. causing death or extreme mental retardation). But I doubt that it does.

Adrian