Pregnant Transman: Does It Help Or Hurt Us?

[Guest Nicodeme]

I just found this video. For those who weren't thrilled due to the publicity, this explains how it happened in the first place:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfNTXm9yHeU

[Guest aadenr]

My only problem is when he publicized this he put the trans-community right back into the FREAK category. I really wish they would of kept it to themselves and had their babies and left the rest of us out of the discussion.

Charlene Leona

I agree. I was talking with my mom about this today. I see no problem with him and many other people having children, but I felt like he brought it to the publics attention for money or something, and that is what I don't support or like about it.

[Guest praisedbeherhooves]

By now I've sure you've all heard about the Pregnant Transman http://www2.oprah.com/tows/slide/200804/20...3_350_101.jhtml and http://abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=4581943 . I wanted to get your opinions. Does this propel us forward or push us back? Would love to hear your comments.

Laura

I think it has a negative effect now but had it happened a few decades in the future it would have been great. Right now people are just starting to get that transmen are men and undermining of that is dangerous. One good analogy is an incident in another civil rights struggle. A famous early feminist in the 19th century, I forget her name, shocked people by wearing pants. This actually hurt the feminist movement because this was so radical and gave people the idea that the feminists wanted to be men. However, had she done this in the 1960s she would have helped the feminist movement by tearing town fashion barriers between men and women. This is the case with pregnant trasmen today. It's just too radical right now.

[Guest Lupi]

My opinion? Just plain freaks everyone out. Each to his own, but it's kinda weird and I'm staying outta stuff like that...

[Guest Connor_CAG]

In my opinion, it was neither "positive" or "negative." As others have said on this post, who I am to judge how somebody lives their life? And from what I've read, Mr. Beatty came forward on a reputable show like "Oprah" as a way to explain his side of the story before the tabloids got ahold of it. Perhaps he had never heard of it happening before and thought, being the first, would be "found out" and scrutinized.

In terms of visibility, he *did* raise the visibility of trans people in general, and that is a good thing, especially for transmen. Before him, I wonder how many people even knew transguys existed? All the media attention had always been on transwomen. And now, we have another high profile transman in Chaz Bono. I think the line of public figures coming out as trans will continue, with each one "normalizing" the existence of transgender individuals further. And that, too, is a good thing.

[Guest Lupi]

In my opinion, it was neither "positive" or "negative." As others have said on this post, who I am to judge how somebody lives their life? And from what I've read, Mr. Beatty came forward on a reputable show like "Oprah" as a way to explain his side of the story before the tabloids got ahold of it. Perhaps he had never heard of it happening before and thought, being the first, would be "found out" and scrutinized.

In terms of visibility, he *did* raise the visibility of trans people in general, and that is a good thing, especially for transmen. Before him, I wonder how many people even knew transguys existed? All the media attention had always been on transwomen. And now, we have another high profile transman in Chaz Bono. I think the line of public figures coming out as trans will continue, with each one "normalizing" the existence of transgender individuals further. And that, too, is a good thing.

In my opinion, it was neither "positive" or "negative." As others have said on this post, who I am to judge how somebody lives their life? And from what I've read, Mr. Beatty came forward on a reputable show like "Oprah" as a way to explain his side of the story before the tabloids got ahold of it. Perhaps he had never heard of it happening before and thought, being the first, would be "found out" and scrutinized.

In terms of visibility, he *did* raise the visibility of trans people in general, and that is a good thing, especially for transmen. Before him, I wonder how many people even knew transguys existed? All the media attention had always been on transwomen. And now, we have another high profile transman in Chaz Bono. I think the line of public figures coming out as trans will continue, with each one "normalizing" the existence of transgender individuals further. And that, too, is a good thing.

You sir/madam (<---FT?), make an excellent point!

[Guest Connor_CAG]

In my opinion, it was neither "positive" or "negative." As others have said on this post, who I am to judge how somebody lives their life? And from what I've read, Mr. Beatty came forward on a reputable show like "Oprah" as a way to explain his side of the story before the tabloids got ahold of it. Perhaps he had never heard of it happening before and thought, being the first, would be "found out" and scrutinized.

In terms of visibility, he *did* raise the visibility of trans people in general, and that is a good thing, especially for transmen. Before him, I wonder how many people even knew transguys existed? All the media attention had always been on transwomen. And now, we have another high profile transman in Chaz Bono. I think the line of public figures coming out as trans will continue, with each one "normalizing" the existence of transgender individuals further. And that, too, is a good thing.

In my opinion, it was neither "positive" or "negative." As others have said on this post, who I am to judge how somebody lives their life? And from what I've read, Mr. Beatty came forward on a reputable show like "Oprah" as a way to explain his side of the story before the tabloids got ahold of it. Perhaps he had never heard of it happening before and thought, being the first, would be "found out" and scrutinized.

In terms of visibility, he *did* raise the visibility of trans people in general, and that is a good thing, especially for transmen. Before him, I wonder how many people even knew transguys existed? All the media attention had always been on transwomen. And now, we have another high profile transman in Chaz Bono. I think the line of public figures coming out as trans will continue, with each one "normalizing" the existence of transgender individuals further. And that, too, is a good thing.

You sir/madam (<---FT?), make an excellent point!

Thank you. And "sir" is fine I've never actually been asked that on here, but my gender choice is pretty ambiguous isn't it? Thank you for not making assumptions

[Guest Lupi]

In my opinion, it was neither "positive" or "negative." As others have said on this post, who I am to judge how somebody lives their life? And from what I've read, Mr. Beatty came forward on a reputable show like "Oprah" as a way to explain his side of the story before the tabloids got ahold of it. Perhaps he had never heard of it happening before and thought, being the first, would be "found out" and scrutinized.

In terms of visibility, he *did* raise the visibility of trans people in general, and that is a good thing, especially for transmen. Before him, I wonder how many people even knew transguys existed? All the media attention had always been on transwomen. And now, we have another high profile transman in Chaz Bono. I think the line of public figures coming out as trans will continue, with each one "normalizing" the existence of transgender individuals further. And that, too, is a good thing.

In my opinion, it was neither "positive" or "negative." As others have said on this post, who I am to judge how somebody lives their life? And from what I've read, Mr. Beatty came forward on a reputable show like "Oprah" as a way to explain his side of the story before the tabloids got ahold of it. Perhaps he had never heard of it happening before and thought, being the first, would be "found out" and scrutinized.

In terms of visibility, he *did* raise the visibility of trans people in general, and that is a good thing, especially for transmen. Before him, I wonder how many people even knew transguys existed? All the media attention had always been on transwomen. And now, we have another high profile transman in Chaz Bono. I think the line of public figures coming out as trans will continue, with each one "normalizing" the existence of transgender individuals further. And that, too, is a good thing.

You sir/madam (<---FT?), make an excellent point!

Thank you. And "sir" is fine I've never actually been asked that on here, but my gender choice is pretty ambiguous isn't it? Thank you for not making assumptions

No probs dude.

[Guest DanD]

the people that accept him as a man are the same people (usually gay people) who think we'll be nice and call him whatever he wants, but really most the planet even them, are saying, this isnt a pregnant man. its a woman who has gender issues who decided to get pregnant.

They hyped it all up as if it were a NORMAL MALE human who got pregnant somehow, it got them curious enough to tune in then they said, same thing i did. OH!!!, well thats not what we thought of when we heard the cathc prase, pregnant man..its just some FTM who decided to get pregnant.

alot of people find it so easy to accept, because they dont think of him as a man in the first place. the gay lesbian actress/comedienne crowd welcomed him onto their shows wih open arms, but of course. most gay people think were simply confused gay people in the first place, and straight people think that sometimes too..others have a variety of opinions.

MY big issue with it was..so he took testo for a long enough time to have some changes noticable, THEN he decided, oh i want to have a baby! so he stops the testo, obviously...maybe even had to take estrogen to get things rolling, i dont know> they never seem to want to answer these and other real questions.. ok so the kids were in-vitro..bt they dont tell us much else.

i'd seriously wonder about the effects of someone who took large doses of hormones for some time, before deciding to go backwards with their body, and have a baby somehow..then resumed the testo ritual again... untill he dedided to make another baby... and then a third.

As someone who stongly suspects something went haywire with hormones prenatally to make me what i am in thei first place, i finf anyone who has beenb messing about with their hromones, to be NUTS for even thinking of having a baby...

oh sure its easy for you to say "well but i will love them no matter how much damage i've done to my children"

but you didnt ask the kids how theyd feel about it, obnviously.

and all i ever hear from people when they bring that whole thing up, is, how he's really a woman. frankly i dont know what he is, or thinks he is. and then we hear now that he was on drugs and drank too much and he's breaking up with the wife because she hasnt stopped the drugs and booze like he did.

sure seems like nobody every even HEARD ot psychotherapy in that family, ad so he was a drug addict and a alcholohic too? but he quit recently and she hasnt? so that means he had all three of these kids while he was drinking and whatever it is he was doing too? and now he's holier than thou, and wants a divorce. seems like a totally self-absorbed person to me. im not impressed on any scale there. he's probably got a new girlfriend is all. (or boyfriend.)

I guess thats the part of his personalty i noticed the first time i heard them on TV, was he just seems very very self-centered about everything,and I dont like people like that, regardless anything else. kinda like that octomom..jeesh

and again, i know others have other opinions, and thats ok too. im not argueing about anything, just saying my thoughts on it

[Ravin]

There are guys who decide to reproduce without fanfare after transition, just like there are people who have sextuplets or 18 kids without going on tv.

I follow one guy's blog--Milk Junkies.

I'm on a yahoo group with others.

I am waiting to transition until I'm done having kids (or rather, until I'm done using the relevant body parts in relation to having kids). Had I been more self-aware younger, my path might have been different. As a teen I couldn't even imagine having kids. I also didn't know FTM transition was possible.

It's not right to say someone isn't really a guy or isn't really trans because he chose to exercise his fundamental right to reproduce in the only way allowed him by the happenstance of biology.

The role of media hound is more up for criticism, imo, but that visibility helps us, imo.

[Guest Jay Smooth]

I think it hurts us because men don't have babies

[Guest Alexisyoi]

I'm personally getting really hurt by all the "he's not really trans" and "he should have adopted" comments I've seen here so far. You'd think that the trans community would be more supportive. But I suppose, no matter what you've been through, you can't see viewpoints that disagree with your own. It's depressing.

I'll say it. I am an FTM. I am male, and I know it. I also want kids. I want a biological child. And I don't want to use a surrogate, for a multitude of reasons. I believe that I have a strong enough psyche to last the nine months needed to bring a child into this world. I may adopt other children after that, but for personal reasons, I want at least one biological one. I really don't see how that makes me any less of a man. I'm a special sort of man to begin with, right?

Granted, I also wouldn't go public with something like that. The obvious stress Thomas is going through can't be healthy for the child. From what I can tell, it's simple enough to hide the pregnancy, at least up until the last stages of development. It has been done before, so it can undoubtedly be done again. So as I can see that, I also don't see any need for adoption if the pregnancy can stay healthy.

Although Thomas is being selfish by going public, isn't it also selfish to say that "he should have just adopted" instead of trying to see another man's point of view? I may be young and naive, but I thought that we could be better than that...

Same here. I am ftm and I feel that I do not want to give anything up because some think that because I am trans I am "supposed to" give it up. I don't know who I will end up with or when that will be but what I do know, and have known for a long, long time is that I want children of my own. I am sure that I want to have biological ones but I would not be surprised if I one day adopted as well. However, there is nothing, apart from infertility, that will keep me from having my own biological children. That is not because I want to be a mother, certainly not seeing as I am a man, and it is not because I regret my decision to transition. I simply want to be a father because I feel that is what I was meant to be. Now people may like or dislike this for all I care because when it comes right down to it, it is my life. Thus whether it is good or bad for the trans community that Thomas Beatie outed himself as 'The pregnant man', I cannot hold that against him because even though I would never ever make my pregnancy public, I completely understand his desire to be a father.

Also I do understand how some might be anxious about the possible consequences of it going public, he cannot be blamed for how others feel about lgtb or what other feel is "normal". It is not his fault that the world is not a very forgiving place towards those who stand out and I am a bit proud of him for doing what he knew in his heart was right for him despite the mean comments he had to listen to because of it. And, as part of the LGTB and the trans community, I think that if we start to turn against our own, then we are doomed. We have to stick together because we all want the same thing. To be ourselves without being ridiculed, bullied or ostracized. We want freedom to be ourselves. If we do not show that kindness and basic right towards others, how do we have the right to demand it for ourselves?