Desire And Me

[Guest Zyrtsuryu]

I apologize if this isn't the place for this post, but it seemed fitting to me.

I am a 19 year old male who, for the most part, suffers from gender euphoria. When I say "suffers from", I don't just mean the common-language-slash-doctor's-term. I mean it in the way Buddhism teaches as well. Against my better judgment, I idolize the female form, more than I should. I would not be satisfied until I envelop and become every inch of every woman that ever lived on this planet. And even then, I would stay in that state forever, locked in ecstasy.

But, as I pointed out, this is suffering.

I don't pretend to call myself a serious Buddhist. Lately, however, reading articles and watching videos on Buddhism has begun to change my mindset ever so slowly. I can feel the winds changing. This morning, in the clarity that comes right after awakening, I had a flash of inspiration.

I struggle to reach something that is unreachable. As much as I desire this, I know that I will never get it. Not that I nor anyone else has anything to do with the unreachable-ness -- it's just the way things are. But I think I understand now. Even if I were to snap my fingers and become the most beautiful, feminine woman, I would still want more. I would still be dissatisfied. Simply by knowing something, I already *AM* it. I had what I was fighting for, searching for, struggling for all along.

I hope that, as I begin to follow Buddhist precepts more and more and as my mind purifies, I can begin to love myself, masculine and feminine, much more, instead of wasting my life chasing a dream, only to become a hollow shell in the end. I know what's right, and I know what isn't. Now I have to do something about it. I am, and it feels great.

Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.

Lao Tzu

[Guest Donna Jean]

.

Honey...to paraphrase Dirty Harry..."A mans gotta know his limitations."

And so does a woman.

We have to accept that we weren't natal born females and there is a limit to what we can achieve..

The sooner we embrace that thought the sooner we'll find comfort!

Good luck, Hon..

Donna Jean

[Guest Puppy Girl]

I struggle to reach something that is unreachable. As much as I desire this, I know that I will never get it. Not that I nor anyone else has anything to do with the unreachable-ness -- it's just the way things are. But I think I understand now. Even if I were to snap my fingers and become the most beautiful, feminine woman, I would still want more. I would still be dissatisfied. Simply by knowing something, I already *AM* it. I had what I was fighting for, searching for, struggling for all along.

I hope that, as I begin to follow Buddhist precepts more and more and as my mind purifies, I can begin to love myself, masculine and feminine, much more, instead of wasting my life chasing a dream, only to become a hollow shell in the end. I know what's right, and I know what isn't. Now I have to do something about it. I am, and it feels great.

Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.

Lao Tzu

I think this is so incredibly true. I, too, am drawn to Buddhism because the mindset it encourages us to work on is both simple and really effective. I think that no matter what mental block you are feeling, whether it's a result of body dysphoria of any kind or something more "ordinary" like having too much stress in your life, it can help to critically think about your desires and whether or not you would be satisfied even if you obtained all of them. There is nothing lacking; you're absolutely right. We are perfect inside already, and have so much to be grateful for.

Good luck on your path.