Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Where Are Our Veterans Hiding ?


Recommended Posts

Guest SharleahLynn
SharleahLynn,

Thank you for your kind words.

Come on out and state your service with pride! Your words apply to you too! What outfit were you in? And tell us your duty stations and dates, and your MOS. Who knows, you might meet someone on this forum you served with!

I was in the Coast Guard, search-and-rescue and law enforcement in the Bering.

Jack

Hello Jack, I was stationed at Ft. Hood , Texas, Bravo company, HHQ trp. 7/17th 1st Air Cav 1st Cav. Div. I served under a Major R.C Colston (a real pain in the butt type person). I was in communications with that unit.

Sorry for not responding here sooner, just got the net back a lil while ago.

Link to comment
  • Replies 212
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Charlize

    3

  • Bulldog1948

    2

  • Alyssa Deutsch

    2

  • SecretlyJessica

    2

I can't believe I never posted on this thread.. Anyway, U.S. Army with ten years honorable service(separated this past November), support MOS, served two tours in Iraq (one year OIF II and fifteen months OIF IV), Both Iraq tours with the First Infantry Division out of Germany. Thank you all for standing up to serve your country.

Vivian

Link to comment

I put this on another forum, and I think it belongs here as a start.

We all know exactly what happens to LGBTQ in the military - not the legalities of a discharge, I mean the harassment, to the point of ruined careers, even murder.

This is my proposal. We start a forum/blog/hotline... comments? directed at the military LGBTQ community, offering help - of what kind and degree? simple support all the way to an attorney or being in touch with a congressperson? comments? - when such harassment is taking place. We find those among us - for example I am not one - who can talk to a suicidal service member. We find those among us - I was un-self-aware in the service, but most of us were self-aware of our own gender and sexuality issues - who can offer a full range of personal advice to a LGBTQ servicemember, which often would be needed by non-out members who need to know how to deal with their own behavior and whether they want "out" enough to get out of the service. MOST IMPORTANTLY - did you-all know that a US congressperson, even one not of your own state, will issue an emergency Congressional order removing you immediately from your unit if you believe you are in physical danger? So, we could start by asking Rep. Barney Frank's office and continue on to all other "out" Congresspeople, ask if their staff who deal with military constituents will help with such emergency orders (and of course straight but gay-friendly reps too), compile a list, and build a working relationship. The really well-known gay former military - I'm trying to remember 2 big names - could lend their support and advice too.

What about it? Who's done large-scale organising before? Largest I ever got was running a small homeless shelter - but I'm disabled, at home, and game. Who will either join me, or if not able, steer me in the right direction or offer advice? Mostly, at first, advice. Constructive, solution-driven, let's try even though it will be hard.

"Never again let it be said that one generation of veterans abandoned another." This is the Vietnam Veterans of America statement about supporting all Iraq/Afghan vets when 'Nam vets were themselves abandoned by their seniors. Not that we've in any way abandoned LGBTQ servicemembers - quite the opposite - but let's go further.

Jack

Link to comment
Guest Gina9223

Actually Jack, that's an excellent idea. I already comb the various websites looking for the lost ones that stumble in looking for answers to their questions. So far for 2009 I'm up to 18 trans people. It's hard work at times. 2009 came in with a bang and it's looking like it's going to go out with one too. But for now, I have 1 problem child, 3 in country, 2 who are headed that way, 2 are out, 1 who's CAF, 1 who's in JROTC, the rest are waiting discharge at eaos. I've only lost 1, I don't want to lose another.

Link to comment
Actually Jack, that's an excellent idea. I already comb the various websites looking for the lost ones that stumble in looking for answers to their questions. So far for 2009 I'm up to 18 trans people. It's hard work at times. 2009 came in with a bang and it's looking like it's going to go out with one too. But for now, I have 1 problem child, 3 in country, 2 who are headed that way, 2 are out, 1 who's CAF, 1 who's in JROTC, the rest are waiting discharge at eaos. I've only lost 1, I don't want to lose another.

So what do you think? Is there an LGBTQ forum aimed at the military besides this thread? Is there any way to put out a forum/blog where LGBTQ military will see it? I think that might be a place to start, trying to create an umbrella site where all such problems could be aired. Then when someone has a problem, lots of people with experience and/or similar problems could chime in, and offer advice all the way to actual help.

(You can tell I'm dating myself by my pre-Internet idea of a "hotline." Of course an anonymous blog is safer and gets lots more responses.)

So, what do you do to help? Could you post some examples? And does anyone know where else a blog could go? Does anyone know if milblog.com will accept such a blog? Ideas?

Jack

Link to comment
Guest Gina9223

Actually the only trans anything that's related to the militray that I know of is TAVA. They do not do any outreach to the active military, their only mission is to improve trans medical care with the VA. There does need to be a 'hotline' and annomus Internet website to support trans active military members. I would love to be part of the push to stand one up and place ads in the service papers and alert the various base medical center of it.

This year I had too many for me alone to handle and I had two that I know had a good chance at happiness.

Link to comment
Guest Gina9223

Oh, also make the website relevant for Intersex service members. While rare (IME, I knew 2 other IS types but I knew of maybe 10 Trans while I was in) they do exsit. They recive the same treatment as Transgender service members. While Transgender service members are discharged due to 'mental fault' the IS service member is discharged due to 'physical defect'.

*sigh*

It's so 1950's era thinking.

And because of 'DADT' they do not track any numbers at all! Even though they, themselves state that DADT does not apply to these catagories! It's willfull ignorance at it's worst!

Link to comment
  • 1 month later...

I'm a US Army combat medic and have been enlisted since July of 2006. Started out briefly attached to 1st Armored Division, but after only six months in garrison switched over to voluntarily deploy to 1st Infantry Division when they needed reinforcements. They were already in Baghdad and I arrived half way through their 15 month deployment. Finished my deployment and stayed with 1st Infantry Division for about a year, then got moved to who I'm with now, the 101st Airborne Division. I'm currently deployed with them now to Afghanistan's Khost province.

Link to comment
  • 1 month later...
Guest Tamara Ann Valla

I guess I will add my two cents, I was drafted in 1964, served until 1970. Whoever told you that the draft was for two years didn't know the whole story. Spent two tours in VietNam as a forward observer for F Battery, 26th. Artillery. Spent most of my time assigned to the First of the Third Marines in I Corp doing recon over the border in North VietNam. Spent my last year in a military hospital recuperating from wounds.

I am not hiding, just out of touch.

Link to comment
Guest MandySue

I served in the Navy, the cold war was allot warmer than believed. I am responsible for many deaths due to my work in the service I live with this daily, and have no trust in our government as they would kill all of us ( U.S citizens) in a heartbeat if it would keep those in power there. My main regret is that I supported these ideas. I now live with my head in the sand.

Link to comment
Guest Donna Jean

Tamara Ann......welcome Home, Honey...

I was USAF 'Nam 1969-70 combat laodmaster C-130...

Hauled trash all over country...

And, how right you are....most people don't really understand what was going on with the draft back then....

Mandy Sue....thank you for your service, Hon....

Sweetheart....hold your head up...you served YOU COUNTRY...not the politicians!

LOVE & HUGGS!

Donna Jean

A1C

Loadmaster C-130/C-141

Link to comment
  • 3 weeks later...
Guest EmilyRose

My first post here and it seems an appropriate place. I did 12 years enlisted in the Navy on submarines.

Things have been really difficult since I finally came to terms with being trans. The hyper-masculine environment just made things that much more repressed. When close to my EAOS I finally thought about what I wanted in life and my mind immediately went to being female. It's funny how hindsight works in 20/20. I think I've been aware of this for 25 years but never had reason to act on it. Now I'm just tired of living my life for everyone else. I came out to my wife of 11 years about 6 months ago. She accepts but doesn't support. She likes my male side but still enjoys all the female qualities as well so we will see. I don't think I could stand losing her though.

I think it's a bit inevitable for vets to hide. The consequences of coming out while we're in are so great that the mentality carries over. Now I'm really worried about employability if/when I begin transition. A question for all of you: Is being transsexual something I should bring up during my VA psych consult for disability determination? I'm already being seen for depression and anxiety but they've just been symptoms of being trans in such a rigidly male environment. BTW, these forums are wonderful. I've been trolling here for about 7 months and figured I should finally make an account.

-Emily

Link to comment
Guest Girl Emily

Emily,

What a beautiful name you have ;-)

I am on non-service connected disability pension for my depression. It was granted a year before my self acceptance of my transsexual nature. If I had been working I probably would have continued the denial for years.

If you are seeking service connection for the depression it won't come into play or at least shouldn't because there is no rating for the diagnosis. In this case I would leave it off the table.

In fact if your treatment record doesn't mention the diagnosis it won't play a part.

My record was clear in finding that I had medication resistant form of severe depression with attempts and hospitalization. Hard to work when your an inpatient or going to therapy twice a week plus other medical care. So they awarded the pension.

I never had a review in person. He will probably ask a few questions to verify what your treatment record reflects. If you haven't brought it up earlier I wouldn't start at that visit.

Once you begin treatment and have a diagnosis it is fair game. Regardless of the fact your depression is secondary to the GID. You are being rated on that and naturally it may worsen any type of depression. Remember until it is gone either by medication or gender realignment the true cause of it is indeterminate.

I hope this helps

Huggs,

Link to comment
Guest Anira

Hi hi everyone!

I'm sure some of you already know but i am Currently in the military. I'm a hospital corpsman stationed out of Naval Medical Center San Diego. though right now I'm deployed to afghanistan.... FFFUUUUNN.... not! got 6 more months out here before i get to go back home. and then another 3 almost until i can get out and start my transition. though i'm hoping i can at least get my electrolysis done on my face before i get out. *hugs to everyone*

Link to comment
Guest Alex is Alex

Hiya, I just got out of the Army a few months ago and am quite surprised at the amount of TS folk who served here :P I honestly never knew we had such a footprint! I wish I had known while I was still in, might have made a few things easier, but I was still mostly in denial.

Link to comment
Guest Sukee

"There are many veterans among us who are afraid to speak up about their service. I wonder why they fear speaking?"

The first thing I'd say is that not everyone is silent because they're afraid of something........... sometimes it just makes more sense to blend in... that's not fear, that's being intelligent.

I'm very proud of the fact i've served on not only Brit units but also twice attached to the US services...... but sometimes pride is a very personal thing. I wouldn't want to share the details with strangers.......... friends, yes, but strangers no.

If this was a forum designated ONLY for serving and ex service personnel then i wouldn't consider myself to be amongst strangers, I'd be amongst comrades and would be willing to share more. But it isn't..... and the more someone stands in front of me shouting 'share your life'....... the more I find myself inclined to dig my heels in and not share anything.

Link to comment
Guest Donna Jean

Hello, Sukee.....

Welcome to the Playground!

I'm Donna Jean..

Honey....we all did our service and whether we want to share or lay low is our own business and we all have our reasons..

And, no...the Vets forum isn't exclusive ....it's not just for vets to read..

But, Please consider me a comrade...

I'm ex USAF combat loadmaster C-130/C-141....one tour Vietnam...

You are very welcome here...

HUGGS!

Donna Jean

Link to comment
Guest Girl Emily

Sukee,

Welcome to Laura's I have experienced much support here and hope you do as well.

I think that there may be a cultural difference at work here. If I understand your post correctly. You feel that your military service is something you wouldn't feel comfortable revealing to strangers. I am not judging your feelings and actions when I say this.

In America after the Vietnam war and the horrendous treatment the veterans were subjected to for decades, it is not uncommon for them to hold back revealing their veteran status, and justifiably so. In an attempt to right a wrong we now go out of our way to respect and holdout veterans as the heroes they are.

I pray that we never return to a mentality as a nation where military service is considered a negative.

Huggs,

Link to comment
Guest Sukee
Sukee,

Welcome to Laura's I have experienced much support here and hope you do as well.

I think that there may be a cultural difference at work here. If I understand your post correctly. You feel that your military service is something you wouldn't feel comfortable revealing to strangers. I am not judging your feelings and actions when I say this.

In America after the Vietnam war and the horrendous treatment the veterans were subjected to for decades, it is not uncommon for them to hold back revealing their veteran status, and justifiably so. In an attempt to right a wrong we now go out of our way to respect and holdout veterans as the heroes they are.

I pray that we never return to a mentality as a nation where military service is considered a negative.

Huggs,

Thanks Donna

we have that here as well..... I wasn't serving during the Falklands war but we had the same here when those veterans came home........ a large proportion of them ended up living on the streets. My era was the first gulf war to the Balkans..... but again, during that time the only time a British serviceman was on the front page was if he'd screwed up and the media lapped it up and portrayed them as some sort of moron just because their chosen career was the military....... it's only very very recently that Joe Public here has started climbing upon the 'serviceman bandwagon' and actually supported our troops rather than slag them off.

As I say in my original post.... i've twice been attached to US forces units so am quite aware of the cultural differences between not only those two countries....... but the way their media portrays them.

you (the US) didn't exactly have the flags out there in the US when our unit came home from Bosnia...... but it was a US unit and deserved to be welcomed as such.

Jingoism has quite a short memory in my experience...... that's why I don't shout it out at every opportunity..... there's enough people jumping on the patriot bandwagon without my breaking a nail getting on there too.

Link to comment
Guest Girl Emily

Sukee,

Thank you for the information about the Falklands. I remember when it happened and have read some stories about the battle conditions faced by the ground troops, but I never knew what happened on the home front. I also served during the first gulf war. You are right that after all the flag waving that accompanied Desert Storm was quickly forgotten by the Balkans conflict. We could find excuses, but truthfully there are none.

Huggs,

Link to comment
  • 2 months later...
Guest DawnK

Wow, I have to say that I was surprised to see how many served in and before the years I did. I served in the Air Force from 1974 to 1994. I've only recently began to accept the person I've always felt I was. At this point in my life, I doubt I'll ever transition completely, but I can finally accept myself for who I am on the inside.

The Air Force was a great time for me in the fact that I saw and experienced many things others only dream about. But while I served, I kept my true self contained. I only had a couple of periods where I allowed myself to dress and express the real me while the family was out. The rest of the time, I kept my feelings in check by wearing a mustache.

I jokingly refer to the Libyan bombing in 86 as my war. I was late for work the night the F-111's were taking off from RAF Lakenheath and it was a one night war. By the time the Desert Storm/Desert Shield came around, I was working in support sections of the Squadron. I did make it to Kuwait in December of 91 for Operation Southern Watch. Believe it or not, when the 2nd war started, I still had had 2 years left on my inactive reserve commitment so I wrote to a General in the Pentagon to see if they'd take me back. Sadly, they turned me down.

It's been 16 years and I still continue to dream that I'm in the Air Force. In the dreams, I've always been recalled to Active Duty. Oddly enough though, I always seem to be missing something... my hat, a tool, whatever.

In 2004/2005, I finally told my ex about me. Bless her heart, she tried to accept. But in the end, it was too much for her. We have remained good friends since. I had begun to think that I was the only one like this from my generation. It's refreshing to see that there are others out there. Though we may never meet face to face, at least I know that I'm not alone.

Thanks to everyone who's shared their stories. I'll be around for a while, I think.

DawnK

Link to comment
  • 3 weeks later...
Guest Hello Katie

I was a light wheel and track mechanic in the US Army from 1982 until 1985. I served in Wertheim, Germany and then Fort Hood, Texas.

Something terrible happened to me in the service (because of my gender identity) that nearly cost me my life and that definitely changed the course of my life in unimaginable ways. I've never had the nerve to ask for benefits of any kind... the military industrial complex scares the holy crap out of me.

I have a VERY difficult time talking about what happened............

Katie

Link to comment
  • 3 weeks later...
Guest SharleahLynn

"There are many veterans among us who are afraid to speak up about their service. I wonder why they fear speaking?"

The first thing I'd say is that not everyone is silent because they're afraid of something........... sometimes it just makes more sense to blend in... that's not fear, that's being intelligent.

I'm very proud of the fact i've served on not only Brit units but also twice attached to the US services...... but sometimes pride is a very personal thing. I wouldn't want to share the details with strangers.......... friends, yes, but strangers no.

If this was a forum designated ONLY for serving and ex service personnel then i wouldn't consider myself to be amongst strangers, I'd be amongst comrades and would be willing to share more. But it isn't..... and the more someone stands in front of me shouting 'share your life'....... the more I find myself inclined to dig my heels in and not share anything.

In this part of the forums we are all like one big family and we all should relax and share anything that is on our minds about our service to our country, regardless of what others think. Just relax hon , you are among a second family, an understanding family. BTW, pretty name for a pretty lady.

Link to comment
Guest SharleahLynn

I was a light wheel and track mechanic in the US Army from 1982 until 1985. I served in Wertheim, Germany and then Fort Hood, Texas.

Something terrible happened to me in the service (because of my gender identity) that nearly cost me my life and that definitely changed the course of my life in unimaginable ways. I've never had the nerve to ask for benefits of any kind... the military industrial complex scares the holy crap out of me.

I have a VERY difficult time talking about what happened............

Katie

You are among both friends and an online family hon , you can share anything you need to talk about , we are here to listen.

Link to comment
  • 3 weeks later...
Guest Amber_Anisah

Personally, I would think theres folks up and about who are just not as able too or willing emotionally and/or spiritually to open up and finally feel at peace. I know I am one of them. Answered a few questions of mine while reading the past dated entries about marriage and even dumb little things like multiculturalism. I always felt alone, always felt different, but unable to just fix myself and make everything go away so I can finally go to bed 9 times out of 10 not fall into tears. Sorry for digressing.

Enlisted from 2008 - Present

Stationed Hawaii

Nothing else for now.

Because a good portion of the void I got from life was filled from the Army, I knew I couldn't leave easily. It has been the highest paying job I ever had. Financially, spiritually, emotionally, and physically.

I will find a proper forum to write more on XD Sorry if this wasn't properly placed.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   6 Members, 0 Anonymous, 126 Guests (See full list)

    • Carolyn Marie
    • Erica Leigh
    • April Marie
    • Andrea D
    • Hannah Renee
    • Adrianna Danielle
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.5k
    • Total Posts
      767.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      11,940
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Chaidoesart
    Newest Member
    Chaidoesart
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. **Angela Charlotte **
      **Angela Charlotte **
    2. Carlie
      Carlie
      (63 years old)
    3. Cbxshawn
      Cbxshawn
      (49 years old)
    4. HannahO
      HannahO
      (31 years old)
    5. JustKatie
      JustKatie
      (40 years old)
  • Posts

    • Ashley0616
      I have shared my doses and levels a lot and no one has said anything. Yeah I put alarms on my phone to make sure I don't miss a dose. I tend to forget a lot of stuff on what needs to be done. I have been also using the calendar on my phone a lot. I missed an appointment because I didn't put it in my calendar. 
    • Ashley0616
      Feeling better than I did yesterday
    • MaeBe
      It's official. My doctor wants me retested after the last results (too high). The test, that she scheduled, was likely too close to the dose. She did tell me to keep the increased dose instead of reverting to my old one, probably because my "too high" wasn't that high. I don't know what the forum's stance is on results, knowing full well the rules against sharing dosage, so I'll keep those under wraps until I know if it's OK to share those. Less to say, it was over the range she feels comfortable with by about 50%, but taken a day earlier than the midpoint value she was expecting. Grains of salt everywhere!   Of course I messed everything up too, missing my dose for the first time, yesterday. I had to re-reschedule the lab I setup yesterday to Monday from Saturday after taking my shot this morning to avoid the same issue with the testing. I woke up and thought, "Thursday, what do I have to do for work today? OH -crap-, IT'S THURSDAY! I missed my shot yesterday!"   Anyhoo. Question for the ladies: does anyone else get a mild zen-like high after their shots/doses? My brain feels lighter and I'm happier and I feel a lot more girlie this morning. 💃
    • MaeBe
      I'm into my fourth month of HRT and just titrated up in dosage after my last checkup. This is my life. 🤭   I have yet to grow out of my B cup bras, but I have noticed more fullness, having started with gynecomastia. I am seeing less gapping in bras with my right breast, which has always been smaller than my left. My areolae are slightly pronounced/projected now, that are larger but not vastly greater in circumference, and I have noticed little to no nipple changes beyond their painful sensitivity.
    • Ashley0616
      @Ivy that is a great point! Great post!
    • Ashley0616
    • Ashley0616
      -It's not a sprint it's an endurance.  -It won't happen overnight. -Seek a gender therapist. -You might lose a lot of support but hang in there. If they truly loved and cared about you they would stay. -Retail therapy helps and plus it builds your wardrobe and shoes. -Makeup is an artwork. It takes lots of practice to do it right and watch YouTube videos on how to put it on or someone who is knowledgeable. -You are going to have roller coaster emotions so don't rush anything. 
    • Ivy
    • Ashley0616
      thrilled:  :extremely pleased and excited
    • Ashley0616
    • Ashley0616
    • Ashley0616
    • Ashley0616
      You have grown more breast tissue than most some only get one size and that is it. I went from 42C to 42DD but I'm also taking supplements. It's risky to take the supplements but to me it's worth the risk. 
    • Timi
      I'd echo some of the advice in Imma Asher's letter in the book To My Trans Sisters:   Take your time.  See yourself. Be proud.  Be strong. Indulge in the transformation.  Read more.  Put down the brow pencil.  Live.  And be happy.
    • Ashley0616
      I hope that there is some kind of justice. It's very sad and it doesn't even mention the family and I could only imagine how they feel. 
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...