Not Just A Cd, Not Quite Mtf?

[Guest Orva26]

Wow, I keep on noticing topics with people similar to me in them.

For years I've been aroused at the thought of becoming a woman but lately its becoming more of a longing and constant thought. Thinking about being a woman and how I'd get to do all the things woman do is just comforting, I can still find arousal in it but that isn't all I have at the thought now. It feels nice and more wholesome to be able to think about it in non-sexual ways as well. I'm only just starting out and I haven't had the opportunity to do much cross-dressing but I will.

Important thing is to be happy with yourself. A therapist can help you get there but that is the key.

[Guest jennifer normal]

I was owning two well's and in my marriage threw three wardrobes away. I'm still im my night gown and will just put on a pink robe if answering the door.Gone eight yr's now. I can,t think of going back to my abnormal self. I wasted time hiding but respecting friend's and Family I allowed them time to adjust. Every reader have a great day and thanks for the ear Jennifer

[Cyndee]

When I signed up awhile ago under gender I put crossdresser.

But the more I've thought about it these past months leads me to believe that I'm not just a crossdresser, but not quite a full blown MTF either.

I love being Aliisa; shopping for clothes, dressing, just doing daily chores as a girl, taking a socially more submissive, "girl," role in things.

I want the long hair, the makeup, the hairless body (without shaving! such a hassle! =P), the breasts, and all that, but I kind of like my penis.

I guess what I'm saying is that usually here on the forums is that everyone is talking about how they can't wait to start HRT, get surgery and become a girl, or they talk about how they love dressing and having a separate "person" in their life, but I feel like I am what the stereotypical, ignorant people think of when they think of a "crossdresser:" a girl with a penis.

So... yeah.

Am I transgendered? I feel like I'm a combination of confusing terms... not quite sure how to handle it or what steps to take to be me.

Thanks

This was great post, fabulous responses, and I really enjoyed catching up on this.

I will simply add my experience(s) to this thread.

I am transgendered, I know that, I accept that, and I have been seeing a therapist now for over 3 months and am quite comfortable with my female self in a male body. After having to mostly secretly cross dress for decades, I am out to family now, and much room to experience Cindy, I am experiencing much relief in being open and true to myself. I have "un-maled" myself over the last half this year, and enjoy being female in appearance as much as possible (MTF applies in this sense). I have lost weight, enjoy being hairless on legs and body, increased my girl wardrobe, training my female voice, engage in female activities and roll playing, etc. However I still have a need to present male in my life, and I think that need will continue. I also have much love for my wife and family, I can not ignore them one bit, as they are being about as understanding and accepting as I possibly could ever hope for. I now have an opportunity to pursue HRT. I am at a threshold currently and the gatekeeper (therapist) has opened the door for me, if I so choose. This post really speaks to me now, as I weigh the benefits and risks associated with HRT and whether or not this really helps me. My love of being female is so strong, yet I feel I can never really have the female body I desire (full fertility). Can I accept a "partial" female body, given my age and all the years of T's influence ? I am not sure yet, I am still discovering myself, this web site has been very helpful in this process. I think I currently relate to the "Tween" group mentioned in this thread. I am right on the edge now.

Thanks for letting me express this now.

Best

Cindy -

[Guest Melanie N]

This post has really stuck me this morning as I feel I am in the same place. I am a cross dresser, but I know it's more than that. I feel the transgender label really works for me (if I had to apply a label) as I feel I really have two people within. My male side which most of the world sees and Melanie, my female side. Im happy with both and having recently decided to embrace my inner femiminity, Im also taking steps to take my dressing a litle farther. Im getting laser hair removal on my arms and chest and starting appointments with a counselor next week! Im so excited!

I think these things take being a simple cross dresser and move me more into the transgendered category...a place where I can blend the two and enjoy both parts of me. Im really looking forward to my counseling appointment and trying to figure myself out.