Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Guest Cynthia Of Creation

Transgender And You

Recommended Posts

Guest Cynthia Of Creation

hi i was wondering with our vets did when you joined/served did you 1 know you were tg befor 2 know but join to get out and make sure, 3 found out during your time serving 4 you discovered what you were after you served or 5 other?

Share this post


Link to post
Guest ~Brenda~

Hi hon :)

I never had the opportunity to serve, so I cannot explain my awareness in terms of the military. I noticed that you have not had a reply for about a half an hour so I thought I would at least explain my awareness.

Throughout my life I have had periods of time where I was expressing as I wanted to. Other times, I was expressing as I thought I should.

Ultimately, I found that being myself and expressing myself with balance in the world that I exist was best for me.

I know this does not address your specific question, but I wanted to share with you that my transgendered awareness evolved over time in terms of maturity.

I have been crossdressing since I was a teenager. Now middle-aged, I finally understand why.

Love

Brenda

Share this post


Link to post
Guest JaniceW

When I served I was in denial. In my deepest heart I knew I was TS but I had myself convinced that I ws not and only crossdressed on rare occasions. It wsan't until many years after my service that I finally came to terms with the truth.

Share this post


Link to post
Guest Donna Jean

hi i was wondering with our vets did when you joined/served did you 1 know you were tg befor 2 know but join to get out and make sure, 3 found out during your time serving 4 you discovered what you were after you served or 5 other?

Cynthia.....

Sorry that I got to you so late...

I was 19 when I served and I was in Vietnam...the war..

I had been cross dressing for years by then and I even wore womens things under my flight suit...(hoping to not get shot down and captured...that would be pretty hard to explain...)

I didn't realize at the time that I was Trans...But, I did know that I needed to be a woman....

It was difficult times....

Donna Jean

Share this post


Link to post
Guest Michele H

I didn't have a name for my distress other than 'pervert' until I was in my 60's but yes I wore woman's clothing whenever I could since I was 8 or 9.

Share this post


Link to post
Guest Emily Ray

Cynthia,

I was in complete denial. Although I had crossdressed on numerous occasions since 7th grade. I joined the Marines to prove I was a man to myself. All I succeeded in doing was proving I am worthy of being a Marine and nothing more. Nearly 20 years later I have come to terms with me being trans and the benefits I now have as a result of my service have allowed me the ability to begin to transition. Up to a point at least. I'm not sure I would yet be alive if I didn't have the help that I have been given. My hat's off to those who make the transition without the help of countless hours of therapy. I am having a he!! of a time even with the therapy.

Huggs

Emily

Share this post


Link to post
Guest ChloëC

Well, let's see, basic training (in 1967) consisted of 50 guys in a very large double room, 25 to a side, all on single cots, two rows facing each other on each side. I was at one end, but I was still surrounded. Not much chance there to even think about anything.

Tech school was only slightly better. Still open rooms, but we put our lockers between (upper and lower) bunks to give a semblance of privacy, but still, your 49 other best friends were within 30 feet of you. Not much chance there, tho a few minutes to dream and let my imagination go.

Duty station barracks was two to a room (with a door! I had to relearn what that was for), on single beds. My bed was against the wall, far corner, my room mate the other side of a night stand. I had an (very subtle) anti-war poster on the wall, a mobile dangling from the ceiling, and I painted the room blue. But, I remember one night I moved the sheets and blanket around to increase 'the imagination' and fell asleep in bliss. I suspect my roommate might have done a slight double take either when he came in late, or the next morning, but he said nothing. He wound up marrying a single mother with a very ugly baby from an unwanted pregnancy (very close to rape), and I moved to an empty room, and then got married and left the barracks.

And started a little cross-dressing.

So, as you can deduce, I didn't join the military to change my desire, it didn't change it, and I came out just as I went in. I was pretty quick and had realized by that time, that it was just a part of me, and it wasn't going to go away. Tho, I suspect it was sort of a hope when I got married - that didn't do it either.

btw, I was always curious about the airmen in the Section 8 dorms, tho.

Hugs

Chloë

ps from a distance the poster looked like sort of a travel/airline poster, but it said - Visit Beautiful VietNam Fly Far Fareastern Airlines - with a jet streaking across the top, and the backdrop was a jungle being napalmed. People did a real double take with that one.

Share this post


Link to post
Guest Cynthia Of Creation

wow truley great responses.

each was special and unique, like us

michele,

yes i believe that is the scientific name my mom called it, lol.

Share this post


Link to post
Guest Gina9223

Well, I knew I was Trans when I was 12. That was when I discovered what 'Transgender'/'Transexual' meant.

I joined the military at 22. I joined for all the wrong reasons. At my first real physical (the one they give you at MEPS is just to make sure you have a pulse and don't drool exceissivly) they discovered that I was Intersexed.

meh.

The military is a job, no one is allowed to be themselves. It was something to do.

Share this post


Link to post
Guest ShannonA23

I joined the Marines at 18 right out of High School, put everything on the backburner, tried to find the man I would become, instead only found the man I wasn't. Denial and if being yourself is enough for society then in the military it is exponentially so. Joining I think acted as a catalyst.

Reflecting on days past

Shannon

Share this post


Link to post
Guest Cynthia Of Creation

reading up i would conclude that military (already said it served as) is a catalyst that will break you out of your shell and not only define you as a american soldier but also help you define yourself,

thank you everyone for your contribution to this thread

ps: what no sailors in here?

Share this post


Link to post
Guest Gina9223

1. I'm a Sailor!

2. In my experiance, it's not joining the military, it's when the word comes down that they are deploying to a hot war zone that acctually accelerates the self realization process that someone is Transgender and there is in fact a better life out there.

Share this post


Link to post
Guest Shelley

I was a CD before I joined the Army. While I was in, there wasn't much of an opportunity to explore, although the need never went away. Later, when I got my own place, I was able to express myself a little more. Like others in here, I hoped I wouldn't get caught. Back then, getting caught meant getting the boot. Now I'm out and free to enjoy the freedom I helped fight for.

Share this post


Link to post
Guest Kristi Lyn

Joined the Army in 1986 and went Infantry. Had a very brilliant career of 22.5 years and made E-8 as a First Sergeant in my Nat'l Guard Infantry Company. I pretty much used that persona and career to squash my true self. Many times though I thought about the stark contrast of my personal life and the Army which caused a lot of inner conflict. But, one thing recently I have discovered and taken from my military experience is the courage to do what we think is impossible whether in the military or in transition. So I now use my past experiences with the military and civilian career to push forward with transition despite some scary things to get past. Just like in Bayonet training all moves are designed to make you move forward and never to the rear.

Share this post


Link to post
Guest Donna Jean

Now I'm out and free to enjoy the freedom I helped fight for.

That's exactly how I feel!

YAY!

Donna Jean

Share this post


Link to post
Guest Guest_SL

Hi,

I had my first inkling when I was 11 and suppressed the idea as I felt I was going insane. It surfaced again when I was 16 and again I fought it down.

I joined the military in 1967 and served until 2003 and sort of just kept my feelings hidden.

It was only after I dated a super great gal in 2003 that the feeling surfaced once more. I think she knew or had an idea but we had a great relationship and so I just moved my true self closer to the surface.

In short sums, the military didn't impact my identity one way or another.

Share this post


Link to post
Guest DawnK

For me, I considered myself simply as a Cross Dresser when I was in 5th or 6th grade but I enjoyed playing with the girls and their dolls. Then my Freshmen year of High School, I decided I was going into the Air Force and never thought about the two being in conflict. I also never considered the fact that I might end up in Vietnam. Fortunate for me thought, we were pulling out of Vietnam about the time I was graduating from Tech school, But it was also during my freshman year that I began to think about being a woman and wanting to know how it felt to be female during sex.

Once I joined, I didn't feel the need to dress for a couple of years, but often thought about the bikini that I had left stashed underneath a draw in the bathroom of my parents home. For all I know, it's still there. It wasn't until 78 or so that I actually purchased female articles for myself. I'd met and moved in with my wife by then and I'm sure she didn't know what to think, but she didn't run away or tell anyone about as far as I know.

So the length of my career, I still considered myself as simply a CD. Then it was about 98 that I began to wear underwear or nylons under my clothes. I even wore toenail polish. I'd been out since 94 and the internet was just coming into my life in my life and it showed me that I wasn't alone in my 'perversions.'

About 2001, I finally told my wife about wanting to dress and wear makeup. She hadn't see me do anything since 79 and thought I'd outgrown it. She tried to help me and understand, but in the end, I think it and some others things convinced her that she'd be better off on her own. She didn't want a divorce and told me that she didn't have a problem with me seeing other women. But that isn't something I wanted to do. Today, we are still married, but all intimacy is gone. Right now, it's to our financial advantage to remain married, but when the bills are paid off, we'll split.

It was just recently that I found Laura's and had started to consider myself as a MtF. But now I'm on the fence again. I don't see myself as ever becoming female because I do enjoy some of the perks of being male. But now that I live alone, when I get home from work, I break out the clothing and sometimes make-up. And a funny thing that I noticed is that my facial expressions seem to have taken on some feminine features. Or maybe, I've just been wearing all the articles so long now that it no longer seems strange to me.

dk

Share this post


Link to post
Guest Guest_SL

For me, I considered myself simply as a Cross Dresser when I was in 5th or 6th grade but I enjoyed playing with the girls and their dolls.

It was just recently that I found Laura's and had started to consider myself as a MtF. But now I'm on the fence again. I don't see myself as ever becoming female because I do enjoy some of the perks of being male. But now that I live alone, when I get home from work, I break out the clothing and sometimes make-up. And a funny thing that I noticed is that my facial expressions seem to have taken on some feminine features. Or maybe, I've just been wearing all the articles so long now that it no longer seems strange to me.

dk

Hi,

You and I are at about the same place and seems we arrived here in much the same manner. I was eleven when I had my first girlfriend and just stopped hanging out with my pals. She was soft, quiet very pretty and she also smelled nice.

She was a German girl whose mother had married a GI. (We lived in an Army town and most every kid around was an Army brat.) She had started school in the winter and her mother dressed her from head to toe in woolen clothes as was the German style but in the spring she started wearing shorts and summer tops. Still a young girl, she was also taller and curvier than the other girls our age who were still thin and looked like boys but with longer hair.

Her mother wouldn't let her cross a busy street to get to our block so I played over at her house. (I may have written this before when I was on the site the first time.)

Like you, we played together all day, every day and my friends didn't know where I had gone and my parents didn't care (Alcoholics.) She was this amazing girl and to this day, I'm still in love with her. Okay, her memory.

She was the first girl I ever kissed and that was all it took. I wanted to be with her and I wanted to be like her as well.

This is a long story and I'll post the rest somewhere else.

Like you, after I found Laura's I could finally embrace what I had repressed for 51 years but I like the guy perks as well.

Had I the means years ago, I'd have switched in a heartbeat. So, inside I'm a female. I'm also girl crazy as I have been all my life. Kind of like the old Gallagher joke.

The first person I outed to face to face is a girl friend (This has been while I was away from Laura's) and I was scared to death. She seemed to think I was making a big deal out of something that wasn't and became my first supporter. She told me ways I could dress and still be in public and the little things that make you feel so good about being yourself, finally.

I don't do make up but there's a ton of clothing items that work even in public and that's fun.

I had kind let my physical appearence go after I retired but now, I want to get back in shape as there are some kick a** women's jeans I want.

Kind of cool to read someone else is at the same spot.

Share this post


Link to post
Guest Smitty

I enlisted at 21 in the guard and really didn't start thinking I had "serious" feelings until about 3 years into my enlistment. While my feelings were always there, they were just more under the surface not to mention that being in the military was the first time I focused on myself and not familial issues. It wasn't until I got my computer and the Internet that I was able to learn about my concerns and issues but also know how to guard myself while still learning about gender and myself.

Share this post


Link to post
Guest 1947

I think I have known my entire life. Apparently when I was 2 I told my mom that I was really a boy and that the hospital had made a mistake. She laughed it off because kids say plenty of random things. I've always known that I was different and I've always been really resistant to being called a lesbian. Until the last few years I didn't have a word to describe what I was feeling. Gender studies classes in college, friends and life experiences have made me recognize who am I then push it far far away. I've come around again but in 6 months I'll be in Officer Training School for the Air Force (sorry, not a veteran yet but still a valid responder in my personal opinion). I've wanted to fly longer than I've wanted to transition. It in perfect world I would get both but we all know how perfect this world is. I'm a Combat Systems Officer select (af version of a Naval Flight Officer for you Marines and Sailors). I can't pass up the opportunity that my country has given me and when it is offered to me I will take my commission without reservation. I hope to do 20 years but that unfortunately means 20 more years of fighting my gender disphoria. I am very fortunate that my body is very androgynous and with my hair short I frequently pass as male until I am forced to speak (though sometimes then I get pegged as a 15 year old boy and the check out lady at walmart won't let me buy cold medicine or markers). To sum everything up and actually answer the question, I know 100% and I'm joining anyway. I look forward to the day I can transition and hopefully I can do it and stay active duty. I would regret not serving my country so its just something that I have to do first

Share this post


Link to post
Bulldog1948

Gina 9223,

After the they discoverd that you were intersexed what happened? Did they allow you to serve or discharge?

I am also intersexed.

Mike

Share this post


Link to post
Guest Hlali

hi i was wondering with our vets did when you joined/served did you 1 know you were tg befor 2 know but join to get out and make sure, 3 found out during your time serving 4 you discovered what you were after you served or 5 other?

I found out while I was serving. I'd been dressing as a girl since I was younger (secretly, after I got caught) and hated my body (genitals, primarily) ever since I became aware of it at puberty, but I just sorta suffered in silence because I was too afraid to tell anyone. When I went into the military, I had a lot of free time and freedom to research things online as well as exploring myself, and that's when I discovered that I was trans.

Share this post


Link to post
Bulldog1948

Well, I knew I was Trans when I was 12. That was when I discovered what 'Transgender'/'Transexual' meant.

I joined the military at 22. I joined for all the wrong reasons. At my first real physical (the one they give you at MEPS is just to make sure you have a pulse and don't drool exceissivly) they discovered that I was Intersexed.

meh.

The military is a job, no one is allowed to be themselves. It was something to do.

Hi Gina,

Just curious what did the military say to you, when they discovered that you were intersexed? Did they ask you if you still wanted to serve or did they offer a medical discharge to you?

Mike

Share this post


Link to post
Guest Bailey

Like many said I was in denial. I enjoyed the military but felt that it would toughen me up and maybe get rid of the thoughts that I wanted to be a woman. It was a very confusing time for me. Lots of depression.

Aislinn

Share this post


Link to post
Guest cassie51

Cynthia,

I enlisted because I was trying desperately to "measure up" to what I thought was expected of me as someone born a male, and I thought it would "cure" me of my issues. Unfortunately at that point in my life I didn't completely understand what was going on with my internal conflicts. Am I sorry I enlisted? Absolutely not. The military taught me many things that I have carried with me since. Things like honor, discipline, friendship, etc. Even though it turned out not to be for me past my initial enlistment, I will always be glad I did it.

Share this post


Link to post

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • Who's Online   4 Members, 0 Anonymous, 14 Guests (See full list)

    • hmillerrr
    • VickySGV
    • MolsMags93
    • Ashlee
  • Who Was Online

    93 Users were Online in the Last 48 Hours
    • hmillerrr
    • VickySGV
    • MolsMags93
    • Ashlee
    • SusanMtF
    • Carolyn Marie
    • DylanAnnedrew
    • DenimAndLace
    • Cheyenne skye
    • LarryCopano
    • Cursedbook
    • claire1000
    • anzu2snow
    • JJ
    • KymmieL
    • Cat Lady Kelly
    • MaryEllen
    • Kirsten
    • Sharon Aml
    • Jani
    • BrandiBri
    • Susan
    • Willow
    • CallMeKai
    • Jaylen
    • Amy LeBlanc
    • Rachael
    • Elyssia
    • Miseria
    • Jocelyn
    • MaryMary
    • Sakura
    • Notsure2015
    • EvanC
    • Dev
    • Wrightful
    • Zedarius
    • ResearchFairy
    • Paul Rankeillor
    • Petra Jane
    • Michelle F
    • Cmattison
    • Ronin82
    • Limitededition
    • Jackie C.
    • elizabeth22
    • benjitheweirdo
    • Lee
    • Charlize
    • Cluck1992
    • Exotica
    • jae bear
    • pulson
    • Delicious
    • MinKiMom
    • Darlene7139
    • Paul
    • Dakota16
    • Martyn
    • tracy_j
    • Isabelle
    • Timber Wolf
    • onaquest
    • Leona
    • Elliott
    • Summer
    • broxleigh
    • Rebecca Lynn
    • jo jo
    • Mickey
    • Rowan
    • cassian
    • Perséfone
    • Julie J
    • nitehwk
    • Alf
    • Lorraine
    • KeiraC
    • StephanieP
    • Lexi
    • Connie
    • Danielle Rose
    • Snow Princess Sophie
    • Carly Hughes
    • carol
    • SugarMagnolia
    • Terry
    • NewLife336
    • Cyndee
    • Clara84
    • Robin
    • Dee Jay
    • stirFridayy
  • Topics With Zero Replies

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      66,413
    • Total Posts
      600,611
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      3,980
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Jaylen
    Newest Member
    Jaylen
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Piper
      Piper
      (40 years old)
    2. terriann
      terriann
      (67 years old)
  • Posts

    • Ashlee
      Hi, that funny. I was actually looking at Tampa/Sarasota as well. I've lived there before and loved it. My Dr is also based out of Sarasota so that would be nice. I use to frequent a club called the castle a lot the first time I started to transition. I think the costs of Florida are pretty much safe but the inner parts are very very intolerant. I don't make a very good country girl at all. I don't hunt, fish go mudding or anything like that. I hate sports ball games. Whats scary is im caring less and less about what people think. Im not sure why but I it doesn't really bother me if people know I'm  trans. A couple girls have guessed it and are cool with it and hang out. They ask moisturizer advice and hair growing advice. The guys though, thats another story. None of them hang anymore and I don't care but I'm so scared of ending up in a sugar cane field dead. Im saving as much as possible, which is hard while transitioning without insurance, to relocate as quickly as possible. I go to Lauderdale a lot, walk around downtown taking pictures and whatever else and nobody notices me. No wispers or weird looks. I love it. Thank you for the compliment btw. Im actually starting like the person looking at me from the mirror. I'm starting to feel like me.   Ashlee
    • Ashlee
      Hi, I was planning on waiting a lot longer than a few months for sure. I go In to see my dr and get blood work for  my 3 month checkup in about about 2 weeks. I'm hoping all goes well with that and I will figure it out from there I suppose. I guess everyones timeline is so much different. Definitely can't go by someone else's experiences. Don't be surprised if things start going fast for you. Im 45 and holy smokes, the changes are just crazy. My emotions are way way different, my boobs hurt so bad, my skinny jeans aren't so skinny in the butt area anymore but still lost weight, skin is so soft and man muscle is melting away. Things are heavier too me. These are all things coming up for you, and its awesome! Sounds like im complaining but no. Its so great. I wouldn't trade what going on with my mind and body for anything. Just keep on keeping on I suppose   Ashlee 
    • Carolyn Marie
      I can't help reading them sometimes, but I don't make a habit of it.  It just leaves me frustrated and angry, and there;s no reason to torture myself.   Carolyn Marie
    • LarryCopano
      So, I'm one of the weird guys who actually reads the hate-filled comments, and doesn't take it too personally.  I actually enjoy debating.  I don't call them names.  I like being calm, and not taking their bait meant to upset me.   Anyone else that way?      
    • KymmieL
      Another great day today was. Not only coming out to my wife but just being able to enjoy. Just waiting for my evening coffee, now.   Kymmie
    • KymmieL
      Thank you all. Yeah, I do feel better. But still some what shocked. I think it will be with me for a while. Now for the next step.   Kymmie
    • Cursedbook
      Thank you. I'm really just venting. The day I joined the forum, I bought groceries. Walking out of the store I passed a woman who called me a "lez". Normally it wouldn't have bothered me, but my time here in Texas has been so miserable it was almost literally adding insult to injury. I have no hope of ever fitting in. I'm just going to try to focus my energy into what it means to be my true authentic self. If people accept me, fine. If not, fine. I have cats, my photography, and a love of books to keep me company. Contributing to this forum will prevent me from becoming a total and complete troglodyte.   Hugs back atcha   Thank you so much for the encouragement. I needed to hear something positive.  There's a quote that comes to mind: "To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." -e.e. cummings   Nice to meet you as well.
    • Jani
      I think you passed the audition!  
    • Jani
      Kymmie this is good news.  I am so happy for you.  It is interesting that those closest to us know us very well.   My wife had offered to let me have her "girls" also but I told her it doesn't work that way.  I grew my own too.    BIG Hugs!!! Jani
    • Jani
      Hi Ashlee.  You might look into the Tampa area as I know there is an active TG community and the area is fairly tolerant.     You look great for having just started!   Please be safe.   Jani 
    • Jani
      You have an interesting mix of music genres there!   Your insurance plan may have a search tool you can use to find the right person.  Also we have a Resources page that may be helpful.  Also try https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists   All my best, Jani
    • Jani
      Hi Larry.  I don't know if you are seeing a therapist but they may have an idea of where you could locate the additional support you need.  You also might try here  https://www.tgrcnm.org  or  http://www.lascrucestrans.org   You don't say why the in-person support groups didn't click with you but I will offer that you should try again.  People come and go and the groups do evolve.  Don't despair, you'll find what you need.     Cheers, Jani  
    • SusanMtF
      Ashlee, I'm about 6 weeks behind you on HRT but I ask myself questions regarding my timeline periodically.  I'm much older so I doubt I'll have as much change as you have experienced.  As some have mentioned to me, the changes sometimes dictate the speed of one's transition and their "coming out" timeline.  I was really hoping I wouldn't have to make any big decisions til 2019 as to coming out to family.  I'm not sure if that'll be possible or not..if things start to change as rapidly as they did in your case.  I'm sort of playing it by ear but right now only my wife knows anything at this point.  I hope I have a little more time before I'm forced to share with my family and friends..but who knows?   SusanMtF
    • SusanMtF
      I am so happy to hear about this.  I applaud your courage & willpower and wish you the very best.  I bet you'll feel wonderful after the initial shock calms down a bit. Communication is a main key to most if not all good relationships.   Im very happy for you! SusanMtF
    • Susan
      I will never vote democrat!!!!!!! I don't like their policies!!!! But I don't vote either. never have and never will!!!! If i were to. I would be an independent. I am not really a fan of trump but i do like some of his policy when i relates to the budget and military and immigration. Sorry but This is how i feel. And i don't think impeachment is in the cards. You can't impeach a president if he has done nothing wrong. Again, I am NOT a trump fan!!!
  • Upcoming Events

×