Michelle 2010

If Your Interested In The Recovery(Aa/na) Chat Room

48 posts in this topic

!2 step programs have a few rules (as much as alcoholics and addicts don't like rules, lol) that one needs to know. Not many, but a few. Here's three to start with that help make a good meeting.

Tradition 3: The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop using. Simple, huh? Anyone can join but if the desire isn't there it won't work.

Participants offer their personal experience strength and hope on the topic or subject. Its not a debate club . As long as one is speaking from personal perspective they're not wrong. No crosstalk. That means we don't comment on, rebuke, rebut what others say. No one should fear being criticized in a meeting. We're all addict/alcoholics looking for a solution. And what is meaningful for one may be less so for another but thats quite ok.

Don't let fear of god, anger with god or a lack of belief in god bar you from attending. The only thing I had to accept about god when I entered AA was that I wasn't god. I tried to play god in my own life and it didn't work. Drugs and alcohol are stronger than I am. I needed something stronger than myself. Its ok to find that power on the journey. Many successful recovering addicts believe god speaks thru the people in the rooms.

I'll post a few more soon.

If you have questions, its ok to pm or post them here.

If you're not sure you want what recovery offers, read the topic called "The Promises". If that is what you want, you're in the right place. If it holds no interest, this may not be for you. A good meeting can consist of 2 people keeping each other sober or it can have 100.

Huggs

Michelle

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I want to thank you for bringing this idea up. I haven't been able to attend any meetings since I came home and while I am not in any danger of using I do miss them and what they bring to my life.

Huggs,

Emily

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I want to thank you for bringing this idea up. I haven't been able to attend any meetings since I came home and while I am not in any danger of using I do miss them and what they bring to my life.

Huggs,

Emily

In 6 years of good sobriety I never was able to talk about feeling different because of trans issues. I came out to my sponsor this summer and it was liberating! All alcoholics and addicts I've known feel different than earthlings, but as trans folk I think its much more of a core issue than the garden variety alcoholic can know smile.gif

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I think this can in a way work to our advantage in dealing with our addictions. When I was in treatment this last time I realized I had a pupose and direction for my imediate future that was above and beyond just staying clean. It has made staying clean easier because using no longer fits into my life or the dreams I have for it. As I came to know a greater number of people with long term sobriety I have noticed they mostly have a passion for something besides staying clean.

Huggs,

Emily

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I think this can in a way work to our advantage in dealing with our addictions. When I was in treatment this last time I realized I had a pupose and direction for my imediate future that was above and beyond just staying clean. It has made staying clean easier because using no longer fits into my life or the dreams I have for it. As I came to know a greater number of people with long term sobriety I have noticed they mostly have a passion for something besides staying clean.

Huggs,

Emily

Part of that passion for those who continue to practice the steps is the act of helping others. But as you say, theres more. A friend found himself joining a mens choir. His untapped gift was singing and he discovered it in sobrietysmile.gif

Michelle

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Another thing to bring to a meeting is H-O-W: Honesty,Openness, and Willingness. Since the 1st step is the most important we must honestly decide if we are powerless over our addictions. This may be known before ever going to a meeting or may be learned by going to meetings. If I stop using do I stay stopped? If I use, do I have the ability to stop when I want, i.e., walk away from the substance? If the answer to either or both is no, it may indicate a problem...

The second half of the 1st Step regards Unmanageability. Is my life unmanageable... To answer that question it not only helps to look at current pain or despair, but also look back at people places and things. How was I treated? was life fair? The reality is those are not the real questions. The primary question is .. how do we handle what life has given us. I remember being afraid in kindergarten. I didn't handle it well. I remember teacher and adults saying things that I took as criticism which may have been meant well. I didn't manage my feelings and sensitivities well. I remember as a youth having strange urges to put on clothes of the opposite sex. This resulted in shame or fear. The reality is that the events that brought me to recovery were only the final events of unmanageability. The reality is that the disease of addiction deluded me into believing life was manageable when in reality it rarely was. Substances allowed me to believe everything was ok.

The good news is that there is a solution. Life does not need to feel unmanageable. Dealing with life on life's terms is what Recovery from addiction is about. Thats what The Promises describe. smile.gif

Huggs

Michelle

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I've had a bit of a booze problem since last year, but I'm about three months sober now. Hope I can keep it up.

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A little over 3 months sober here and facing some of the crazyness I hear about at AA meetings. Dealing with my lifelong cross dressing and the stuff that goes with it will have to be part of my recovery. I look forward to Sun night to participate in the meetinmgs here Is that 9:00 eastern time?

thanks. rita

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The meetings ARE HAPPENING at 9:00PM US Eastern time in the Substance Abuse AA/NA Chat Room. Its always great to have new folks there.

Welcome to Laura's here, and up your post count by going over to the Introductions Forum. Do be sure that you read the Rules and Guidelines, also accessible through the Terms & Conditions link in the lowest right hand page corner of any forum. The site here is PG13 or mellower since we do have younger posters who can read these messages too.

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Looking forward to coming this Sunday, Tommy

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do the meeting happen every week ? or every few weeks ?

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Alexx,

You might want to PM a chat mod to get an answer on when and how. That way you don't feel like you are getting missed or forgotten in this tiny thread on a big board Threads like this sometimes get missed by the person with the answer. I don't know the answer, but a chat mod would.

:)

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Yes they occur every Sunday at 9:00 EST. I have been there every week for a year with the exception of a handful of times. Another experienced forum mod regularly attends and has moderated when I have been away. Participation varies from 3-6 at any time. Subjects, as with any recovery based group, can vary from the specific use of substances to how we live life on life's terms without ingesting substances. Relatives relationships resentments...fear, fashion, fun...its all fair game if it has to do with living clean and sober. We are not a formatted 12 step group although there is sometimes discussion of steps or the principles of living a satisfying and enjoyable life based on that philosophy. All are welcome, and not all are clean, though we insist on basic manners and courtesy. No one is treated like an outsider and no one has to say anything unless they want to. Check it out if curious...

ODAAT

Michelle

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thanks for bringing this up. i will try to attend this meeting. The present Grapevine deals with online groups. One in which others share my problems is great. I have 5 years of sobriety thanks to the AA program and the grace of God. For several years I gave up my fem self as I had only been able to come out with dutch courage. I finally went to a women's meeting where I was accepted and 3 years later I'm getting much stronger about being me. Hope to be there Sunday, charlie

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Some Sunday I hope to make it. I tried but can't get my mac to download the seemingly required software to enter the chat rooms. That certainly seems a better forum for a meeting but I am accepting that this is as far as I will get this day. It's like all the rest, not up to me. Love, Charlie

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I have been having trouble with the Java program on a PC as well. Not sure what the conflicts are. Sorry you could't make it today.

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Hi... new to this website and new to admitting a half century in "the closet" crossdressing but almost 24 years in AA/NA. One fear I had was the issues in 12 step meeting with people who knew me as "that other person". Finding support here is like coming home. Thank you. Jan Jane

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Hi Jan Jane:

Congratulations on the 24 years C&S, I never made it that far on my first sobriety spell, and yes, it was the GD that bleeped up my record at about 17 or 18 years on my first trip up the stairs. It was sobriety for a second run that got me into care for my GD, and ended up getting all of my transition paperwork in order. One of the things those of us who both post here the most frequently and take part in the Sunday Chat over in the Chat Rooms agree on is that not making our Trans issues part of our recovery lives is a good way to take a dive back into bottle, glass or can. Our Sunday chats take place at 9:00 PM Eastern Time which I am guessing is 8:00pm your time and cover both Trans issues and addiction issues, as well as some of the humor that only people in recovery would understand, or tell!! Its fun and has a spin on it that we don't get in our home town based AA meetings.

Since this was post number one for you, I would like to invite you to also make a post over in the main Introductions Forum as well since that is where the non-alky types will meet you the quickest. Also, please read the Terms & Conditions which you can access from the lowest right hand corner of any of the forums. The same stuff is in the Rules & Guidelines at the top of the General Forums group. We do moderate all of the posts by members since we have young people posting here too, and we keep stuff to where their parents can read it over their shoulders, and we use the Terms & Conditions for doing our moderation. You can post new topics in any forum except the Teens Forum, since it is limited to folks age 13 to 24, but you can reply to posts in any forum, including the teens. Good to have you with us.

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Aa and recovery has been the best forum for me to come out. I go to a gay group every Friday. I can be myself there and be with other people trying to help them through their stuff and not worrying about mine. After a few years there I came out to my home group. First verbally to members other than my sponsor then speaking and taking questions and sharing at an open meeting. I had to ask the group if they could accept a chairperson as they had elected a chairman. My transition continues on a slow path but it is so nice to be myself with other accepting people. The closet never had any people to love me and for me to love.

Hugs Charlie

ps I still can't get Java, what a pain

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Hello Jan Jane, and Charlie sorry you missed last week. Hope to meet you both this week. I got a ride home from my trans support meeting from the lady who founded it 20 years ago and makes a living advocating for trans people. She said that in her experience most AA groups are fairly tolerant of trans people. Most take the third tradition seiously all you need to join is a desire to get sober. I know of several gay people at meetings I go to and we had an obviouse androgyne at one last week. Some of the old pure AA members don't like "druggies" but most are accepted as people trying to deal with their addictions. Since the stress of being trans can lead to substance abuse AA is a good fit for all addicts. Discusssion at AA meetings is usually limited to problems with Alchoal or drugs not gender issues. The joy of the Sunday group is you can discuss both and share your joys and your sorrows and relax and get a smile on your face. Fellowship is what its about and we all need that.

hugs rita

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Thanks Rita, I'm still trying to make it on Sunday. I got Java on my machine but so far the site hasn't recognized it. Hopefully....

I have had a very similar reaction at AA meetings. I had given up going out after I stopped drinking. My sponsor didn't have any problem with this part of me but I had such a relationship with alcohol I was afraid that if I went out the only thing I could do was to go to a bar. I had felt comfortable there. I finally went to a women's meeting. Topic was honesty... I left it up to my higher power and was honest. Acceptance... I had a dinner date with a sweet woman that night and was able to be honest and sober!

Fast forward. I came out to my home group a month ago as the speaker, (I'm the chairperson). Many people who I have known for years didn't recognize me for a long time. I had told many over months of time and then just gave it away again. Fears were unfounded and the love and understanding was intense. I now chair as a women. And have been accepted by the women's "group". I still have to be careful in helping newcomer women as I am a lesbian.

I hope to get there on Sunday if my machine (a Mac with ox lion) will let me.

Hugs and understanding,Charlie

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I finally made the Sunday 9:00 meeting. Thanks..... what a great site. It was worth working through the java problem.

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It was great to meet you rita and helping a young newcomer as well couldn't ask for more. hope to make the meeting a habit!

Charlie

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Do any of you come to a resolution to stop this thinking about sex-change stuff and throw away all your clothes and stuff that are related to it. Only to drink a whole bunch one night then go back to wanting to do the trasitioning again.

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