Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Does Anyone Regret Their Srs?


Guest oogie292

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 96
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Drea

    5

  • Svenna

    4

  • Paula ult

    3

  • VickySGV

    2

I'm over three years post-op and definitely have no regrets. I just wish I had done it sooner. Everything works as it's supposed to but it was painful for the first two yesrs, to be honest. But even so, it sure is better than all the crazy stuff I used to do to tuck and hide. It also just seems completely normal and natural to me. Quite frankly I've forgotten what it was like before, and I'm completely OK with that.

Link to comment
  • 2 months later...
  • 2 weeks later...

The idea of post op regret is something that highly interests me namely now that srs is looking more and more likely to be on my horizons very soon. what causes it. how to avoid it. I have spent months now reading stories. and comparing other against my self ( in the sense of , where it went wrong for them) trying to be sure, that i am not making the same mistakes they are, some seem to take this as me showing signs of regret in my self. in fact it is me taking inventory. i have a million and one reasons to get srs i just want to be sure that there is no 1 huge reason why i should not. as it was said to me by a lady much wiser than my self " now is the time for you to make good decisions "

my heart goes out for every one of them , that allowed them selves to be led astray :(

The only thing i feel would cause me to regret having srs, would be a major medical complication as a direct result of the surgery. I know for certain that i am going to get nailed when it comes to the post op depression. i got it bad after my BA. I know the exact cause though . being immobile and the loss of my independance while i was in recovery being the biggest culprit. i felt frail and helpless..... not feelings i am used to feeling. and not looking forward to again. the only thing i really find off putting about the op is the dilation and how time consuming i hear it is for the first several months.

I know now srs is the right decision for me , based on honest self evaluation and the help of my therapist. so * crosses fingers* if my plans do not fall threw i expect to be having srs or hope to any way some time next year.

Sakura

Link to comment
Guest Sarah Faith

Sakura, I do not believe that thoughtful consideration your motives for SRS is at all a sign of doubt. I think anyone who just blindly rushes into any of these things is probably just asking for problems like post op regret. I feel the same way, I have spent a lot of time researching the same things even though SRS is still a ways off yet for me. I still don't want to rush into things I might regret later, even though I absolutely hate my male genitalia so I am almost completely sure SRS is for me. That said I'm still going to be careful approaching it.

So I definitely think your approaching it in the exact right way. :)

Link to comment
Guest Leah1026

my heart goes out for every one of them , that allowed them selves to be led astray :(

Slow down there young lady. That isn't what happened to Roxanne. In the ten years I've been active in the community she's been the lone case of true surgery regret I've known. Remember she's happy with her life since transition except the surgery. She wasn't led astray by anyone, sometimes these things happen; it's rare, but it does happen.

The only thing i really find off putting about the op is the dilation and how time consuming i hear it is for the first several months.

I know now srs is the right decision for me , based on honest self evaluation and the help of my therapist. so * crosses fingers* if my plans do not fall threw i expect to be having srs or hope to any way some time next year.

Sakura

That is what is important here. Not what happened to someone else, but if it's what you need.

As far as the first couple months of recovery go... YES, it is intense, but also exciting and psychologically healing (Finally whole!).

Link to comment
  • Admin

Leah, & Megan, this is the only choir I wll ever get to join, but a definite AMEN to the first couple months being a real dilly!!

Link to comment
  • 3 weeks later...
Guest sarajayne

I have no regrets at presenting myself as the gender I have always known myself to be and only wish I had had the determination to publicly do this much earlier in my life. Certainly I don't regret going for my SRS but have largely always regarded this to some degree cosmetic and just one of the hurdles (although a major one) I had to surmount) towards making me feel more complete as a woman. I think the point is that SRS in itself did not change my gender I consider myself always to have been female. My only regrets are the difficulties and damaged relationships I brought on my family and some of my friends.

Link to comment
  • 4 weeks later...
Guest Roxanne

We can rebuild her. We have the technology.

In exactly one week (and a few hours) from today I'll be flying to Serbia for my surgery. It's on the 21st. I'll let everyone know how it goes / journal it.

Link to comment

We can rebuild her. We have the technology.

In exactly one week (and a few hours) from today I'll be flying to Serbia for my surgery. It's on the 21st. I'll let everyone know how it goes / journal it.

Best wishes to you, Roxanne! Yes, please do keep us posted!

Love, Megan

Link to comment
Guest Kaylee234

Danielle Berry was a role model of mine in my youth, having been interested in a career in computer programming for most of my life. She is quoted (much to my chagrin) as having regrets about fully transitioning:

"Being my 'real self' could have included having a penis and including more femininity in whatever forms made sense", she would later write. "I didn't know that until too late and now I have to make the best of the life I've stumbled into. I just wish I would have tried more options before I jumped off the precipice."

Hers may be a case of moving too fast, as she transitioned after a windfall due to the popularity of the games she programmed. We'll never know; we lost her in 1998.

Her regrets I don't think* influenced me or caused me to postpone my own inevitable transition. And it makes me sad to think that she regretted it. There's not a doubt in my mind that I won't regret mine.

*when referring to things that happened during that time in my life, there is a lot of uncertainty. I was pretty messed up for a long, long time.

~ Kay

Link to comment
Guest Zeda

@Kaylee: I have been cautious, too, because I held the thoughts of Alan Turing in high regard. He was forced to take feminizing hormones because he was gay and he reported mental cloudiness. It is speculated that his death (which appeared to be suicide) was due to depression at losing his mental clarity. This used to scare me and was a real deterrent until I realised:

-He was forced to do this - he didn't want it.

-He probably was depressed since he went from being a fairly successful human to being a prisoner, first to be drugged due to not wanting to be untrue.

- I already have some pretty bad mental fog and only the occasional bout of clarity. I imagine that the hormones would help with my current pseudo-depression (I wouldn't call it depression, but it is similar) and that would help lift the fog. I really crave those bouts of clarity that I seem to get rarely.

Link to comment
Guest Sarah Faith

@Kaylee: I have been cautious, too, because I held the thoughts of Alan Turing in high regard. He was forced to take feminizing hormones because he was gay and he reported mental cloudiness. It is speculated that his death (which appeared to be suicide) was due to depression at losing his mental clarity. This used to scare me and was a real deterrent until I realised:

-He was forced to do this - he didn't want it.

-He probably was depressed since he went from being a fairly successful human to being a prisoner, first to be drugged due to not wanting to be untrue.

- I already have some pretty bad mental fog and only the occasional bout of clarity. I imagine that the hormones would help with my current pseudo-depression (I wouldn't call it depression, but it is similar) and that would help lift the fog. I really crave those bouts of clarity that I seem to get rarely.

I think everyone should take time to reflect on their life, and their motivations as they take the next big step in transition. As I've said before even though I've been trans my entire life I spent the days leading up to actually getting started on HRT reflecting on how my life was, and the dangers of HRT. I wanted to be absolutely sure that it was the right thing for me if I was going to risk my health.

I imagine when the time for surgery comes I'll go through the same process, even though I know I am sure.. I still think its important to reflect on such major decisions because we really only get to make them once.

Sarah

Link to comment
Guest Kaylee234
@Kaylee: I have been cautious, too, because I held the thoughts of Alan Turing in high regard. He was forced to take feminizing hormones because he was gay and he reported mental cloudiness. It is speculated that his death (which appeared to be suicide) was due to depression at losing his mental clarity. This used to scare me and was a real deterrent until I realised:

-He was forced to do this - he didn't want it.

-He probably was depressed since he went from being a fairly successful human to being a prisoner, first to be drugged due to not wanting to be untrue.

- I already have some pretty bad mental fog and only the occasional bout of clarity. I imagine that the hormones would help with my current pseudo-depression (I wouldn't call it depression, but it is similar) and that would help lift the fog. I really crave those bouts of clarity that I seem to get rarely.

I had never heard this about Turing. Now I'm going to have to look it up myself :) That'll give me something to do at work lol

I'm not sure I'd call it clarity, but since starting HRT there are periods of time I feel absolutely euphoric. Of course, there are times I cry my eyes out for no reason.

I think everyone should take time to reflect on their life, and their motivations as they take the next big step in transition. As I've said before even though I've been trans my entire life I spent the days leading up to actually getting started on HRT reflecting on how my life was, and the dangers of HRT. I wanted to be absolutely sure that it was the right thing for me if I was going to risk my health.

I imagine when the time for surgery comes I'll go through the same process, even though I know I am sure.. I still think its important to reflect on such major decisions because we really only get to make them once.

Sarah

I totally agree, though in retrospect I wish I hadn't reflected on my life quite so long. ;)

I haven't dwelled very long on my own SRS. I'm still at least a year or two away from my reckoning, so it's not worth thinking too much about. I know I won't regret getting it done, though. So I seriously doubt there'll be any second thoughts on my part.

~ Kay

Link to comment
  • Admin

Kay-- Take it from one who NOW knows, there will be moments of second thought beginning the minute the anesthetic wears off, and heading on for the weeks of recovery and healing. :unsure: They will cross your mind like a child's scribbling on a magazine page, and will keep the euphoria of surgical finality from being too heady. Beware all ye who enter here!! The thoughts as I pictured are momentary and not fully a part of thinking, but accept them as something to be expected and you do heal and recover well. Just assured that "NEVER" never happens.

Link to comment
Guest Zeda

@Kay: That is the tough balance. Make the jump and risk being wrong and have regrets, or wait and find out that you were definitely trans and wish you would have started sooner. If I had started my transition when I was 18, I could have avoided some of the more recent masculinisation of my body (puberty started playing catch up in the past few years). However, my emotional state at the time (and currently) wasn't conducive to making such important decisions. Now there are other factors preventing me, but I am more certain of what I want.

@Vicky: Yes, I guess second thoughts would definitely pop up quite a bit. Then again, our community is home to many second-thinkers ^^

Link to comment
  • 5 weeks later...
Guest Roxanne

Well the unthinkable happened. I had surgery, woke up ok the first day, the next morning they woke me up for an emergency procedure because I had a blood clot and they needed to try to save the phallus.

They did. They kept me in the hospital 10 days and everything seemed fine, then I was in the apartment for 3 days and the last day I was there things weren't going so well. Necrosis. They did another emergency procedure to save the phallus but they couldn't :(

I am young (32), healthy, do not smoke, drink, use drugs, or have any underlying health problems. I exercise and am at worst marginally overweight. Apparently just really bad luck. If I go back it's free but I have to wait 6 months (maybe more because of work) :(

Link to comment
Guest Kaylee234

OMG Roxanne I'm so sorry this happened to you. I can't imagine the anguish you feel from being so close to your goal. I hope that 6 months from now you are able to return and complete your surgery.

*hugs*

~ Kay

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   1 Member, 0 Anonymous, 133 Guests (See full list)

    • April Marie
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.6k
    • Total Posts
      768.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,020
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Tami
    Newest Member
    Tami
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Bebhar
      Bebhar
      (41 years old)
    2. caelensmom
      caelensmom
      (40 years old)
    3. Jani
      Jani
      (70 years old)
    4. Jessicapitts
      Jessicapitts
      (37 years old)
    5. klb046
      klb046
      (30 years old)
  • Posts

    • VickySGV
      We have had some real dillies come out as the initiative sort of thing, but as @Carolyn Marie said, very few make it out of the petition signing seasons.  I am not surprised at the origin site of this thing, it is probably one of only 3 regressive leaning counties we have in the state. We actually had one of these initiatives started to make it mandatory for police to shoot dead on site any Gay behaving individuals wherever they found them.  For the most part the matters are poorly written in ways to be unenforceable even if enacted.  Thus most never become law or get to the voters.
    • Carolyn Marie
      You make some good points, AYS.  But there are usually already too many ballot propositions each election, so the proponents know it's best to wrap it all up into a nice package.  Plus, it's easier for the signature gatherers.  Otherwise they have to have a separate clipboard for each proposition.  Too much paperwork, dontcha know?   This kind of proposition is a loser in CA, so the only possible way the proponents can succeed is to give it the scariest title imaginable and try to put one over on the voters before they get wise.  Bottom line; an ice cube on a hot summer sidewalk has a better chance of success.   Carolyn Marie
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Reading that article, it seems like the attorney general gets to call it whatever unless its an outright lie.  Given the nature of politics in CA, it seems like one side has the bully pulpit for sure.  Labeling it "Restricts Rights" vs "Protects Kids" is very much a matter of perspective.  Unfortunately, that matters since many voters don't bother to read.  Perhaps a better (unbiased) way to handle it would be to simply give the ballot measure a number with no title, forcing folks to read it.    I think it would have been better to handle the various issues covered by the ballot measure separately, rather than all at once.  For example, issues relating to disclosure of medical and social information to parents.  That could be its own ballot measure, rather than lumped in with everything else.  Besides, shorter and more succinct measures are more likely to be read completely. 
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://calmatters.org/education/k-12-education/2024/04/trans-youth/     Yup, the existing title sound perfectly appropriate and accurate to me, too.   Carolyn Marie
    • Adrianna Danielle
      Seen my hrt specialist this morning and nothing but good news,estrogen levels looked good.Boyfriend was with me and I admit he has been learning well about my transition showing his support.Our relationship is going great and we both see each other much happier now.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      This reminded me of an individual who, due to child sexual abuse, lived as a woman for 15 years, detransitioned and noisily insists that all trans people have his story.  His name comes up fairly often because it fits the narrative.   I don't know that anyone actually has been railroaded.  People may say it, they may look back at what happened and decide that happened.  It's a he said / she said, but it feeds a narrative that is useful for those who are already convinced that trans people are abuse victims first and foremost.  That the detransition rate is so low tells me that railroading is not actually a problem, and I regret giving the impression that I thought it was.  That so few detransition is a success story.   What is pertitent at heart is that people hear and believe all the stories out there, and the story we have to tell is not heard, because TG folk are, after all, untrustworthy in their view and unworthy of an audience.  Somehow it needs to get out there as to what the real situation is. 
    • Ashley0616
    • Ashley0616
      I'm not saying that Christianity is wrong but at the same time there were more than 30,000 changes to it. The Bible doesn't state anything against transgender. The only point that can be proven by them is that people are giving into their desire. 1 John 2:15-17 ESV "Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever." I would love to challenge them by asking who watches a movie, reads books, and listens to music that isn't Christian based because then they would be guilty as well. 1 Corinthians 10:31 ESV "So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. Probably not a single hand would still stand that they don't participate in everything they do gives glory to God. "
    • VickySGV
      My neighboring state got lucky a couple years ago. 
    • VickySGV
      https://www.wpath.org/soc8   I had been looking for this to respond to a member and could not find it .  Pinning it for now.
    • VickySGV
      @Abigail GenevieveSomewhere in the Forums here, we have a link to the World Professional Association for Transgender Health's Standards Of Care, now at revision 8 but it is available in plenty of places.   https://www.wpath.org/soc8.    These are the canons for the allied medical fields that deal with Trans people and are the guidance for those professionals.  I personally know members of the Association and have toyed with the idea of becoming an associate member since I am not a medical professional but because I like to keep on top of what is going on medically.  There are a number of Trans people who think they are overly oppressive as far as the gatekeeping goes, but the medical / psychological profession members who follow these guidelines for there patients WILL NOT be forcing their patients into unneeded or harmful surgery or medications.  I read my first pitiful and heart-rending  "detransitioning" story 60 years ago when I snuck a tabloid newspaper behind a comic book down at the neighborhood convenience store when I was 16 years old and reading it off the rack which should have been adult only.  I am afraid that it was the first thing I ever read that told me about Trans and Transsexual people, it would be another 30 years before I actually figured out my own story.  The story I later found out, was NOT written by a Trans person, but a well known Porn scribbler who wrote many fantastic and gory stories about what he thought Trans people were.  We are not anything like his imagination, but he was a "press agent" for Trans people of the time.  We do have some well known and noisy, negative view Detransitioners who have been found to have gone to multiple psychologists and lied their way Transitioning, one of the most infamous actually hid Dissociative Identity Disorder, right therapist wrong Identity that was being counseled.  It is a messy story.  The public, like my first encounter, was NOT getting their information from the scientific journals of the time, they were getting it from Adult Entertainment and Tabloids   We need to be careful of where we get some of our ideas from. Evidence is good that the person at the heart of this thread gets most of his information from us from the slanted and non-scientific sources most people get theirs.   OOPs, I( may have sent this off track here, but but but.    
    • Ivy
    • Ashley0616
      Yet another failed attempt. Glad to know that we are more important than education or health care to them.
    • Mmindy
      I agree with you.   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Mmindy
      Well said, and I agree @VickySGV   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...