Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

First Time Officially Passing In Public


Guest Nekomata

Recommended Posts

Guest Snow Angel

I'm going to this Indian Festival thing soon, so I needed new shoes and nylons. I went to the department store today. I've been out dressed in public before, but it was only in the presence of friends whom I could hide behind. Today I went alone. I went in drag (Dressed As A Girl) and nobody said anything. I felt invisible as I floated over to the women's section. I was there as someone that belongs there, not as an intruder. (The intruder would be me in guy mode the first time I ever bought clothes... I felt so nervous and retreated from the women's section several times. But this time, I felt so calm and just browsed leisurely.) There were other women browsing and none of them looked at me or paid me attention. I was blending. It felt so freakin' liberating! Then I used my voice at the register and the transaction went fine. It felt great! Now I have new shoes and nylons for the Indian festival, acquired legitly. :P

Today was a great day and a big step for me. I can't believe I made it happen!

Link to comment
Guest Sergei

That's so great. I'm really happy for you. You have come such a long way and should feel really proud with what you have achieved. xx

Link to comment
Guest Viccy

It is so liberating isn't it Snow Angel , I still get a little uneasy at times but then again it is so worth it , it just feels so good to be out and to be yourself.

Link to comment
Guest Aeron

Snow Angel, dear. SUPER JOB!!! Now...get out there and do it again, this time try and focus on your task at hand, and not on the impressions are getting of you. You will never truly be 'in your element' until you are unaware of your gender identity. In other words, true women aren't aware they are women, they just are. Keep at it!

xoxo

Aeron

Link to comment
Guest Snow Angel
Snow Angel, dear. SUPER JOB!!! Now...get out there and do it again, this time try and focus on your task at hand, and not on the impressions are getting of you. You will never truly be 'in your element' until you are unaware of your gender identity. In other words, true women aren't aware they are women, they just are. Keep at it!

xoxo

Aeron

That is supremely fantastic advice. I never thought of it like that. It really makes sense, though! Thank you. Also, thank you all for the encouraging words.

Link to comment
Guest JoAnnDallas

I know what you are feeling. I remember the first time I went somewhere dressed and had to enteract with someone else. Having them treat me as the gender I was expressing, along with the correct fem pronouns, made me feel so great inside. I have now gone out dressed with my wife and even she was impressed on how well I blended in. One thing that everyone says and is true. Once you go out dressed, it becomes addictive. You will be read from time to time, but as long as that person treats you with respect and the gender you are presenting, then all you have to do is enjoy the outing.

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...
Guest Rayne
I'm going to this Indian Festival thing soon, so I needed new shoes and nylons. I went to the department store today. I've been out dressed in public before, but it was only in the presence of friends whom I could hide behind. Today I went alone. I went in drag (Dressed As A Girl) and nobody said anything. I felt invisible as I floated over to the women's section. I was there as someone that belongs there, not as an intruder. (The intruder would be me in guy mode the first time I ever bought clothes... I felt so nervous and retreated from the women's section several times. But this time, I felt so calm and just browsed leisurely.) There were other women browsing and none of them looked at me or paid me attention. I was blending. It felt so freakin' liberating! Then I used my voice at the register and the transaction went fine. It felt great! Now I have new shoes and nylons for the Indian festival, acquired legitly. :P

Today was a great day and a big step for me. I can't believe I made it happen!

Congradulations! I know what it's like, I just did that myself.

Wife and I were on vacation in a city 100 miles away - that way, no one knows me and if I crash and burn, it's not like I work in that city, right?

We chose a book store - Barnes and Nobles - and went for about half an hour. No wig, just my shoulder length hair. Casual dress outfit (3-button down polo, slacks, low heels) and a purse. We walked around the store and no one noticed! No giggles, no stares, no pointing, no questions, no second glances...nothing. Not even when we were standing in line to check out.

Granted, I felt like I was on display and I was scared out of my mind! But I'll gain more confidence in time, and with longer hair.

This is a HUGE step for anyone, whether you're MtF or FtM, you're putting yourself out there and risking public humiliation. Taking that step AT ALL is mammoth, and doing so successfully is ecstacy.

Link to comment
Guest JoAnnDallas

As for going out always remember

1. Dress to blend in - This way you get noticed less

2. Act like you belong where you are at - Don't act nervious..dead givaway.

3. Act like you do this all you life.

4. Smile at anyone that stares or looks at you.

Link to comment
  • 4 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   5 Members, 0 Anonymous, 209 Guests (See full list)

    • Pip
    • Timi
    • Susie
    • VickySGV
    • violet r
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.3k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,024
    • Most Online
      8,356

    JamesyGreen
    Newest Member
    JamesyGreen
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Dillon
      Dillon
    2. Kaylee888
      Kaylee888
    3. lily100
      lily100
      (39 years old)
    4. Luce
      Luce
      (44 years old)
    5. Luke.S
      Luke.S
  • Posts

    • MaeBe
      Thank you for continuing to share your story, Sally!   Willa sounded like a grand friend, I'm sorry for your loss. :(
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Not all conservatives are for Trump.  I am far from thrilled he is running.  Just wanted to make that clear.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Anybody willing to present the case for Trump? Any conservatives out there?
    • MaeBe
      Two words(?): Project 2025   Please provide links to the "political calculus" referred to, I'd be interested to know where this is coming from. It seems odd that anyone would be advocating to vote in a President that has stated that he will try to use the federal government to go after LGBTQ+ people because voting back Biden, that is not doing that, might cause some state legislatures to put forth more discriminatory laws.   LGBTQ+ people are not safe in a MAGA future.
    • Ashley0616
      It's awesome that you have had such a great friend in your life! I could only imagine what losing felt like to you. It's neat that you worked for the airlines. Did you take advantage of the space availability fights? My dad worked for Northwest and always flew every single summer except one where we drove from north Mississippi to Phoenix, AZ. My parents agreed to never do that again lol. 
    • Ashley0616
      The trans community won't be good under Trump at all. Biden is the one who has done more for the trans community than any other presidents. Last time Trump was in office he was at an LGBTQ rally and his support went quickly away from us because the majority of the voters are anti trans. He is going to get rid of our rights and also come after the rest of LGBTQ.  I don't know where you heard we would be better under Trump.    Trump unveils sweeping attack on trans rights ahead of 2024 (axios.com)   Trump Promises to Go After Trans People if Re-Elected (vice.com)   Trump promises to ban transgender women from sports if re-elected (nbcnews.com)
    • Sally Stone
      Post 7 “The Pittsburgh Years” When I retired from the Army, we moved to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania because I had been hired by US Airways to work in their flight training department.  The transition to civilian life was a bit of an adjustment, but I never really looked back.  At the same time, I was excited at the prospect of having more Sally time. But with work and two teenage boys in the house, getting to be Sally was a challenge.    The biggest issue in this regard were my sons, as they didn’t know about my feminine side.  My wife and I discussed, in great detail, whether or not to tell them.  If they had known about Sally, it would have been much easier to actually be Sally when I wanted to.  But I still didn’t know exactly where my transgender journey was going to take me, and this uncertainty was the primary reason my wife and I decided it wasn’t the right time to tell them about Sally.  Except for the convenience it would afford me, we didn’t think it was fair to burdened them with such a sensitive family secret if it wasn’t absolutely necessary.  If at some point things changed and it looked like I might be heading towards transition, my wife and I agreed we would revisit our decision.   Despite having to tiptoe around the boys I was able, with my wife often running interference for me, to significantly increase my girl time.  The nature of my variable work schedule meant that often days off occurred during the week when the boys were in school, and on those days, I took full advantage of the time.  Additionally, I had discovered a new trans friend through a local support group, and my wife, ever and always accommodating, ensured I had time for outings with my new friend.    Willa, my new friend, quickly became my best friend, and after only a short time, she and my wife became quite close as well.  With Willa’s help, I would soon discover that Pittsburgh was a very trans friendly city.  Together, she and I made the town our own.  We attended the theater, the symphony, we went out to dinner regularly, and I think we visited every museum in the city.  With Willa’s support and friendship, I was actually becoming quite the girl about town.    Willa and I had a lot in common.  We loved to shop, we had similar feminine styles, and we had similar views and feelings about being trans.  In fact, our frequent and deep discussions about transgender issues helped me begin to understand my transgender nature.  Having Willa as a springboard for all topics transgender, was probably as effective as regularly visiting a therapist.  I would never discount anyone’s desire to seek professional help, but having an unbiased confidant, can also be an effective method for self-discovery.    Exploring the city as Sally and spending time with Willa was instrumental in helping me understand my transgender nature, and would begin shaping my transgender objective.  My feelings about the kind of girl I was and where I wanted to go began to solidify.  Being out and socializing as Sally in a big city like Pittsburgh, taught me I could express my femininity without issue.  I honestly felt confident I could live my life as a woman; however, remaining completely objective, I just couldn’t see giving up the life I’d built as a man.   At that time, I was being heavily influenced by the concept of the gender binary, which had me thinking I had to choose between being a man or being a woman.  It was Willa who reminded me there were no rules requiring gender identity to be binary.  During one of our deep discussions, she posited the idea of enjoying both genders, something she was doing, and a concept that made a lot of sense to me.  I was already living the life of a part-time woman, so I simply started paying more attention to how that was making me feel.    One characteristic that was dominating my feminine self-expression (and it continues to this day) was that when I was Sally, I was “all in.”  When I became Sally, it was such a complete transformation that I truly felt like a woman.  The feeling was powerful, and if I had to describe it another way, I’d say it was akin to an actor, so into the part, they actually become the character they are portraying.  That was me, and I discovered that this level of depth was extremely fulfilling, and that feeling tended to last long after transitioning back to my male persona.  Part-time womanhood it seemed, was actually working for me.    Eventually, a job change forced me to move away from Pittsburgh, but the enlightenment I experienced while living there has shaped the nature of my bi-gender personality to this day.  Even after leaving, Willa and I remained the best of friends.  We had many more adventures, some of which I will detail in later posts.  Sadly, Willa passed away two-years ago after contracting a prolonged illness.  Her loss was hard to take and I miss her dearly.  However, I have so many fond memories of our times together, and because her support helped shape me, she lives on in my heart.   Hugs,   Sally
    • missyjo
      thank you dear. I'm constantly working at adjusting n writing off other people's judgment or input.   thank you n good luck
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Them's fighting words, but I intend to discuss this respectfully, calmly and so forth, in accordance with the forum rules.   Considering the one issue below in isolation:   There is a political calculus that trans folk may be better off under Trump than under Biden.  The argument goes that Biden has created such a backlash by moving so far to the left that red states, in particular, are reacting with a swarm of laws that negatively impact trans folk.  Some of his actions strike many people as clumsily forcing unwanted regulation on people, and some of his appointments, such as the luggage stealing bigender individual, have not helped advance trans folk but rather the reverse.  In a second term Biden would make things worse for trans folk because of the backlash and resentment his policies would create.    Trump likely would have negative impacts to trans folk, as he did in his first term with respect to the military, so it is a set of tradeoffs as to which is worse.   Thoughts?
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Can you dress androgynously? 
    • Ashley0616
    • Abigail Genevieve
      There are trans folk who pass better than some cis people.  People usually aren't on the lookout for those who are cross dressed.  As long as there are no multiple screaming signals and you don't draw attention to yourself you can probably pass better than you think. For example, if you walk into a bank in heels, however, and you DON'T know how to walk in heels, you will attract the attention of a security guard, especially if you are acting nervous. If you wear flats and just go to the bank and do your business like anyone else, it is likely no one will notice, except that there was a customer who was taller than most women are, but then there are tall women, and tall, broad shouldered woman.  I made the mistake years ago of thinking I had outed such, and knew she was a he.  Later I learned she had five kids, and her husband was bigger than she was.  Ooops.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I don't know much about CNAs.  They report to an RN, right?  Can you somehow bring this up to the RN in a way that does not get your CNA mad at you? I'm not saying you should, but maybe that is a good course of action.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      This is the thing.  A month ago tomorrow is when I stopped wearing m clothing.  Today I feel great.  I do not have dysphoria when I am dressed as and I move as a woman.  I was just thinking about that because I was wondering if I would or will get hit with a wave of "you don't have dysphoria so you might as well dress like a guy. Less hassle with your wife."  Not that she is aware, to my knowledge, that these androgynous clothes are women's.  No desire to "flip", no feeling of need to, just happy identifying as female.  Speaking, in my deep guy voice, with female voice patterns, doing the feminine gestures that come naturally and without exaggeration and at peace.
    • Birdie
      Yes, my brother was born lactating due to absorbing hormones from my mum.    Of course she isn't a nurse, she is a CNA. She should however still have general medical knowledge.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...