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Battle: Los Angeles - Review


Guest Mrs Brisby

  

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Guest Mrs Brisby

Battle: Los Angeles

Mouse Rating: F for FAIL

"Too Long, Didn't Read" version:

Hollywood wasted a bunch of money making pretty special effects so they could make a pretty trailer to trick you into paying them money, while at the same time clearly putting zero attention into originality.

---------------- SPOILERS BELOW ( THIS MOVIE IS SPOILED LIKE BAD EGGS ) ----------------------

I'm normally a big fan of action movies in general, I love science fiction, and adore war movies. However, this is probably the first movie of this genre I've ever seen which I totally loathed.

The number of stale and abused cliche movie devices in this movie is absolutely unbearable!

The movie starts off with the overused "quick get to know the characters" scenes, if you've seen the typical witty banter of guys pretending like they're close buddies in movies before, this is no different, yet feels more artificial and forced.

Not long after the "combat" part of the movie begins, you have the overused "a soldier freaks out and has a 'i got to get out of here!' moment". Again, if you've seen this before in any of dozens of other movies, this is no different, yet again, it feels so forced and cliche I literally cringed.

Another cliche scene involved a wounded soldier and them getting a medical helicopter to pick them up, and the overused "Witty comment about getting out of combat without the rest of us type joking", again, so over used it just feels phony and forced, esp considering at this point they had only been in combat 10 minutes!

There's so many other movie cliche one liners and cliche moments that it just made me nauseous and want to stop watching. I only finished just so I could write this review explaining how terribad it is.

Much of the military display in the movie is implausible. In the beginning the soldiers are being way to "witty" and "funny", without an ounce of seriousness, despite the fact that theirs an alien invasion taking place! Also there is this badly forced subplot with the main character about his supposed reputation, and it feels utterly unbelievable. Real soldiers wouldn't act that way or view things how they are portrayed.

Close interactions with the aliens are of course, almost nil. A classic sign of "We love CG, but don't know how to interact with it" syndrome. So many movies suffer from this. You don't even get a good look at the CG aliens due to the overly and constantly shaking camera and super fast camera angle cuts. I was honestly left feeling a total disconnect between the actors and the aliens.

There are a number of incidents where the movie physics are so unrealistic that its noticed beyond the usually suspension of disbelief for a fiction movie. Such a gas station being blown up a grenade, which wouldn't normally happen, but still a giant fireball erupts, and somehow, this burning gasoline throws this alien spaceship out of the sky. Another scene you will notice little explosions hitting the ground right next to this little girl, but of course she doesn't react because its CG.

The most annoying thing to me was this concept that the aliens are sucking the water out of the oceans, and despite not having any significant sized "mothership", they are lowering the ocean levels so fast that within an hour of their invasion its noticeable. Ridiculous! The oceans are massive! Another line used in the movie says there's no liquid water anywhere else in the entire universe near the surface of a planet. No scientist who knew anything about that would EVER make such a statement.

The level of "fail" from the aliens themselves is laughable without intentionally being funny. I know its fiction, and all, but if we were ever invaded for real, we could only hope to be invaded by these poor shooting, bumbling idiotic beings with such foolishly designed invasion plans that even a 5 year old could plan better.

In the end, this is yet another great example of BAD MOVIE + AWESOME GRAPHICS = BAD MOVIE.

---------------

Mrs Brisby Mouse

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