Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!


For Those Who Aren't Transitioning

Recommended Posts

Josie Beth

It’s ok to go there. I have similar thoughts and experiences. All my relationships with women as a male failed, probably because even they knew that I was different and not being my true self. Now that I’m discovering myself again I don’t seek having a relationship with anyone yet but I can more honestly imagine myself with a good man in a committed relationship. I’ve always been more suited to that role even though I tried to deny it. I’m more emotional and intuitive, I enjoy domestic activities like cooking, and I’ve always been more submissive to a certain point than any of my peers. I get along better with women as friends rather than as partners. If I look back at all the subtle and not so subtle comments over the years that I’ve ignored it all makes more sense now. “You walk like a girl” so I worked hard to change that. “Your parts look glued on like your a girl”. “You’re acting like a girl, guys don’t care about if a partner is not paying attention to them”. “That’s a chick flick!” “You don’t watch sports?” “Only a woman would wear a shirt like that!” And so on. It’s easier to see now than it was at the time but it makes a lot of sense. I used to react to all this by crying alone and turning the hurt into a mask by learning masculinity. It was forced and people often saw through it after a while. Now I’m not trying to hide behind the mask anymore.


We all have different coping methods and some of them are destructive because they are not honest or healthy. Dressing and feeling like your true self is perfectly fine because it’s an honest expression. Even if you are not ready to show it to the world, it’s a step. It’s actually an escape to reality.


If it makes you feel safe and closer to love then by all means continue and enjoy being comfortable in your dress and in your dreams. 

Share this post

Link to post

Thank you. Tonight I told my bi sexual male friend at one time I had feelings for him. I had to say it. I told him I just want to be friends and he’s ok with that. He said he was flattered He told me he had an idea this was going on. I guess what attracted me to him is he listens and pays attention to me and has never judged me. I could of kept this effection secret. I don’t know what’s wrong with me? We will remain friends. I have 2 friends. My bi sexual one and another straight man. I can only reveal my secrets to my bi sexual male friend. I’m spinning in my head and it’s like I can’t stop! I just want someone to love me! Why can’t these feelings go away? Why can’t I just step back into manhood? I shaved my chest hair and shouldn’t have! Now it itches. I’m in such a mess!  I’ll be ok though. I’ve done this before. Once the hair grows back it will stop itching.  I’m just crazy Tessa inside trying to find my way out. Just venting it helps. 



Share this post

Link to post
Josie Beth

There’s no right or wrong way to express your feminine side. For years I struggled with who I was and flirted with feminine feelings only to lock them away for years because of externally induced shame. Since then I’ve grown to accept who I am and not suppress my feminine feelings. It’s liberating and I don’t care anymore if people figure it out. 


Don’t stress about whether or not you are ready to be or do certain things. Not beating yourself up may take some time. 


It’s a good idea to find a therapist to work on some of these thoughts and feelings about yourself and what your needs are. Even if it’s just someone who will listen and just go through it with you. It will help to sort everything out. 

Share this post

Link to post

I’m spinning in my head and it’s like I can’t stop! ... Why can’t these feelings go away? Why can’t I just step back into manhood? ... I’m just crazy Tessa inside trying to find my way out.


This is more or less what gender / gender dysphoria feels to me. It's quite overwhelming, but at some point you get used to the feeling. In my case it was strong enough to force me to give it some attention, and now that I'm actively dealing with it it's more relaxed. This community has helped me a lot to find my way in that direction.



I shaved my chest hair and shouldn’t have! Now it itches. I’m in such a mess!  I’ll be ok though. I’ve done this before. Once the hair grows back it will stop itching.


Well, the itching is just an indication that you might need to rethink your shaving technique. It's something that can be solved easily. The real question is does it make you feel more at ease with yourself?


When I first shaved my body hair (before I even realised I'm on the trans spectrum) I gave up on it pretty quickly mainly because it seemed so much fuss. But when gender dysphoria hit me like a hammer it was one of the first things I started doing and it made all the difference in the world. I gradually extended it to all body hair and now I keep shaving all body hair. Especially shaving the armpits turned out to be rather important, because it's very uncommon for men, so it's something that reminds me I'm not a man when I wake up in the morning. And being reminded of who you really are in a positive way like this feels amazing.

Share this post

Link to post

It’s not itching anymore. I put some butter cream on it. I might try shaving it again I don’t know? I shave my legs though with out any irritation. I haven’t done my armpits though. I also have a gotee. But I don’t like my face. I’m so torn between both sides. I want to be loved but I don’t feel anyone would want me. I’m not attractive as a man so I don’t think I would be attractive as a woman either. I’m sorry this is how I feel.  I revealed that I had feelings for my bi sexual male friend last night. But now I wish I wouldn’t have. We’re still friends but it’s just weird. I just posted a poem Fallen Rose. Let me know what you think of it? I think for now I’ll just stick with shaving my legs. 



Share this post

Link to post

I have devoted most of my life to trying to make myself feel loved and valued.  So far, this massive effort has had the opposite effect.  I have constantly tried to please other people, and I feel guilty when I do things that are purely for my enjoyment.


I have realised that I must direct my energy into things that make me happy.  If I spend all of my time chasing the end of the rainbow, I will never succeed, and I will always feel unfulfilled.



Share this post

Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • Who's Online   6 Members, 0 Anonymous, 84 Guests (See full list)

    • Dana Michelle
    • Dev
    • Tessa
    • MaryEllen
    • SaraAW
    • Debra Michelle
  • Topics With Zero Replies

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
    • Total Posts
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
    • Most Online

    Newest Member
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Jamied
      (55 years old)
    2. Mantori
  • Posts

    • Tessa
      Love Form   Love in it truest form Is kind and sweet It is so incredibly warm Its like a candy you can eat   It doesn’t boast  It wants to only be with you Its real and not a ghost If only people knew    The touch of true love Will always heal It won’t push and shove  It will cause you to feel   It doesn’t look at financial gain It love the rich and poor  It’s like a gentle rain  That falls and then begins to pour    True love is empty of pride  It lives in sickness or health  It doesn’t run and hide it doesn’t care about wealth    It looks inside your heart  Not the shell you are in  It loves your most vital part  It praises you when you win   It breaks through your insecurities It enriches your inner soul It brings you new opportunities It chooses to make you whole   It will never leave you empty  You will always want more  It will always have plenty  True love is knocking at your door   True love is free Anyone can give it out True love is in you and me  True love we can’t live without    It searches to and fro Looking for a heart to consume  Its a friend not foe  Its always has room    If you’ve been touched by its power Then you are under its spell This is the hour  To break out and yell   True love is coming for you Just you wait and see It will guide you through  It will lead you to your destiny    by Tessa      
    • DeeDee
      😂🤣 I used an online translator maid. Love it!  I spent the first couple of minutes doing that too, and while I think she exaggerates her walk to the more common 'casual' shoulder bounce when she walks past the guys in the street funnily enough I couldn't find any. I think they did a good job at pointing out the possible reactions and definitely the fear of rejection being coated in fake niceness.    Jani she has indeed been born, despite everything else so in a way it does have a happy ending. It is a part of history, the United Kingdom was united by the ruling classes so England did not have to worry about fighting a war on multiple fronts, outlawing the language happened after the Jacobite uprising, it stopped the peasants plotting and revolting, if it wasn't for the outlying islands the language would have been totally exterminated. There has been a concerted effort to bring it back which has had some success.
    • Maid In Bedlam
      Yes its the same in anything.  people fear what they dont understand.  However it would generally be  straight men making all there same old record type put downs. However if they actually look deeper To be a Transsexual or gay actually gives them a clearer path to achieving there utopia. So in reality coming out the closet should be praised if they had a think as its just one less obsticle for them to concern themselves over.   Is it a threat to there manhood? No its just one more step up there ladder   Until they relise this then things will never change.
    • Maid In Bedlam
      As Far as Transexuality goes there have already been many studys on the brain diffrences.   Its been proved that brains reflet more to the gender they feel more phychlogical attached to   The human brain is a very complex but men have roughly 6.5 times More grey matter than woman. Woman 10 times more white matter than men. In the brain of the Transsexual the White matter reflets the white of born female. Its already been done. even pre hormones.  To the point where they took the brains of the deceased and examined them transsexuals and non Transsexuals repspectivly and results showed this also.   Well good luck to him if he finds something new.   However I would be cautious of a cure so to speak. If there is such a thing.  The only cure i know is what is avaliable now. Which isnt a cure but controls the symptoms. (Thats my take on it)   To put that in perspective. I do not feel the symptoms now. However tommrow if i decided to go back to trying  to live as a man I could be damm sure within a week all my symptoms of gender dysphoria  would be back.     I think and there are 2 sides to every story. He is trying to find proof that it is not just male and female brains but more diffrences than have already been established.        
    • Maid In Bedlam
      Thank you Ladies for your clarification.   Still all the same. Its nice to be able  to have the document to hand with correct details on it.   Im not sure again if its the same over there. But by Default the actual Certificate is not your property but property of the state. Therefore the powers that be have to authorise changes to it. hense the call for reforms to the law regarding gender recognition.   Which as a whole is still very good but needs some tweaking. Its very much misrepresented in what you can and cannot do without holding a gender reconition certificate.   To be honest. a scrap of paper that the goverment has soul ownership of has no bearing on my life because it no longer needs to be produced for really any purpose. I do need any goverment to instuct me on how i feel or live. But is the principal of the thing. I would change mine if it made any diffrence to me. But in reality it doesnt. But I never say never   So I hope that they archieve there goals in this matter.
    • Maid In Bedlam
      Chan urrainn dhomh mo cheann fhaighinn timcheall air garlic.   But it was a lovely film and had me going right up till the end.  Is it really bad that i was trying to pick out a single feature to identify her as trans?   But i got it in the end. It was a abstact perception.   lovely post Dee. Great film showing the diffrent reactions to a transition.  It was a nice dress to.     Ill say this very small . I had to google translate to put galic in my post. I cant speak a work of it  Butt shhh dont tell anyone    
    • Maid In Bedlam
      Hey Charlize You may be 71 but have the soul of someone half that age. As you managed to tame that beast.   Get those goggles on and keep on riding sweets 😎
    • Maid In Bedlam
      Hi Ricki. Thank you for you opinion.   I would be very happy to be enlightened in how you formed this opnion and where the conclusion for it manifested themselves from   I am not lacking Terminology. I would be more inclined to believe as i stated.     Just a walk or a voice can be part of this constuction. Subcoinsouly we make up our minds who is male and who is female before we ever get to asking pronouns or indeed even talking to them. Preemptive if you like.     I am talking about society in general and not  minority groups. If those you mentioned were accepted broadly then there would not be the need for parts of this forum and there would not be storys of people who believe this is there gender or sexuality being ridiculed or put down for it as it would just be as normal as male and female are and have been seen since we came out of the caves. At least in western culture anyway. ( I am also talking outside the confines of the internet)   I am all for people being what they want to be in there minds. But the trick is to proactivly be accepted by all. Which as i said may happen in the next Fifty years. But at this time i feel is not and will not be while the stigma remains attached to it in the view of it not being part of the social constuct. I do hope there will be scenitific evidence that there being neither gender is part of biology and is a proven fact.   As i have concluded anyone can say they are or can be whatever they want. Me for instance could expect Lady before my name as under  scottish law this would be my bistowed title as i own  land  therefore have a title. But I dont expect or demand anyone to call me by my title and i do not expect people to know it on there first glimpse of me. I do not announce it.  Hense if someone wants to correct me on pronouns then fine. As I said Im not judge or jury. I can only go by what sceince teaches us.  Transexuality is a proven medical and biological condition. Unlike Enby's and Ace's which is at this time to my knowledge not. I have spent many years working towald being called by a female pronoun. To fit into the socail constuction of what it is to be female.   If im wrong then as i have said in many posts on many occasions. Show me my error and i will accept with open arms. (Well being honest i already do) on the basis people are entitled to live and be who they want. My condition gives me a very open mind to others. But facts convince me completly. But it is not me that needs convincing. Its the human race.     Thanks Tracy. It was just a typo and  it was never my intention to sound like i know your mind. 😊         I would definatly try to get him to say "GORDONS ALIVE" and perhaps tell the gorilla story to 🤣   However i will say this if you came to my shop then on the basis of your picture It would be Ma'am or Miss. You may call yourself Androygne but I would aire on the side of female pronouns on your presentation.  Then see if you corrected me. Which i wouldnt expect as you present as you do.   just a point to note. british  driving licences. If its a male one in general it will never have a title where a Female driving licence will have a title Such as Miss or Mrs. As womens titles change were mens do not regardless of there status. This also includes the numbers on it. Well in female and male driving licences but thats an obvious one. Mine now has Miss were my old one had no title. Just straaight into a name. Some people say its sexist. I  was actually was quite euphoric about having a title 😉 and the female id number.  A bit of a milestone so to speak    
    • tracy_j
      Looking good Charlize! You are reminding me of an old life from some time back   Tracy
    • EvanC
      Oh, you have an beemer, and it's just about as old as me. Looking great!   I haven't been on a bike in over 20 years, but I still miss it sometimes. I guess it's not too late to think about getting on one again someday.
    • Jani
      Yes it is a bit sad but then, maybe not as she has awakened from here past.     I must admit I have never heard Gaelic spoken conversationally so this was an interesting experience.   I can never understand the arrogance of those who would make speaking in one's native tongue illegal.  
    • Jani
      I know we do have other college folks here, but due to schedules and the issue of dorm room privacy (for those not out publicly) they may not check the site often.    I think connecting with the GSA was a good choice.    Cheers, Jani
    • Jani
      Looking good Charlize!  Be safe when you're out there.     Hugs, Jani
    • VickySGV
      Looking good there.  I have never had the courage to ride one of those.  I used to be fine with the pedal type of bicycle, but the engine driven ones were too scary.
    • Charlize
      I took the old gal out for a lovely ride today.  She started with the first kick.  Awesome for a 52 year old bike ridden by a 71 year old woman.  Such fun
  • Upcoming Events

  • Create New...