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Guest Karo-chan

"you're Not A crossdresser And You Will Never Be A Woman."

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Laura, I may have a completely biased opinion, but I will always admire you. I'm glad you have more time to post here again. Thanks for all you do!

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I agree! Thanks for making such a wonderful community, Laura! :)

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Your welcome to all.

oh to be a fly on the wall in the bedrooms of those who claim to be righteous. A congressman who denigrated gay people vehemently tried to pick up a police officer in an airport bathroom. Evangelists and their preachers with scandalous behavior. If I had time to do the research I could find hundreds more examples. The fact is that many people have skeletons in their closets, often including people who yell the loudest. The screamers especially some of our own community members are purists think it makes them feel better about themselves. There are countries where gang rape is almost applauded as a manly thing. There are probably two thirds off us who have one fetishlike behavior or another including the sanctimonious. Something done in the privacy of ones bedroom is no ones business but yours its nothing to be ashamed of. I have a few gender therapist advisors including my own that say that sex is necessary for ones good mental health. As long as no one is getting hurt what's the problem? To each their own. You've done nothing wrong and nothing to be ashamed of by being Transgender. We are born with it. Who would ask for this.


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Guest KerryUK

Very well said Laura, I'd also like to echo the thoughts and convey the gratitude to you for setting up this wonderful site (a one I am very proud to be a part of).

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Amanda May

I am just starting out in my transition.  What I discovered, joining here and writing give one an emotional outlet and the strength to live your life as you.  There are going to be many hurdles, and guess what, they are similar to the ones each has faced.  It is time to be true.  I lived a lie for 68 years and it never stopped being a lie.  Truth is hard but so worth the effort.  Good luck Amanda.

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On 6/25/2011 at 9:35 PM, Guest Karo-chan said:

One of the most common verbal insults I get is people telling me I'm "fake". I've even gotten it from a couple trans people that have already transitioned(Which has hurt me a little bit more than hearing it from other people that have no idea what I'm going through). They have no idea what goes through my head, so why are they so quick to assume I'm not actually transgendered?

I haven't started hormones yet(Although I probably will in the next 5 months once I get settled in to my new place and start seeing a new therapist.), so I don't exactly look like a girl(Being really tall doesn't help either). Is there something they can see that I can't? Is it common for people to use "You're not a real crossdresser" as an insult? Or is it just me? I'd just chalk it up as bullying if it was a couple isolated incidents but I get it so often and from so many different groups of people(In real life, and on the internet) that it just feels like something is going on. It's wrecking havoc on my self confidence in my own judgment. I'm even worried there might be something wrong with my brain(Like a tumor) that's causing me to think I'm doing or saying one thing but actually saying or doing something entirely different. I'm so confused.


Hi Hun.  Hope you don't mind me responding to your thread!  I have known since about age 6 or so that I had a birth defect of being the wrong sex.  It's hard for anyone who has not had this happen to them to imagine how shocking that is to us when we are just young children.   Childhood is supposed to be for playing with water balloons, petting our dogs, eating ice cream,  and going to the beach -  not for having adult life stresses.   I "cross dressed" to try and help deal with / placate my birth defect but it never helped.  I was still sad about my defect and depressed that the universe could have done this to me.  I am now 56.  It took me going through my entire adult life to FINALLY realize that I deserve to be who the universe should have made me in the first place.  I am not going to let the people in this world tell me I cannot be who I should have been at birth just because I am 6'5" tall or because I am masculine in appearance.  Who are they to judge?  

So Sweetie I think what I am trying to say here is not to let mean people tell you who you should be. The rest of us love you and support you!   And just because someone has transitioned does not mean they understand you or have compassion for your pain.  There are nice and mean people in ALL walks of life and in all shapes and sizes.   So ignore the bad people because if you let them bother you then actually they got their one true wish - which was to be successful at being mean.  Do NOT give them the satisfaction! 

Internet hug coming your way!!!!!



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Guest Kenna Dixon
On 7/10/2016 at 9:47 AM, Laura said:

New people. crossdressers, transgenderists, came there to ask simple questions finding absolutely no tolerance.. Then the conversation denigrated to name calling and sexual names like fetishist (Oh horrors).

I remember that well.  It was the mid-90s when I first discovered others like myself online, and at many sites you either accepted your lower rank in the "hierarchy" or could expect to be ridiculed.  There were some very mean people on some of the message boards.

Thank you for providing an oasis of acceptance and understanding for everyone exploring the gender identity spectrum.

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People judge by themselves, through their views and feelings. And we know that sometimes, those views and feelings are... narrow(?) (I don't want to say 'idiotic' ;) ). 


So there is a little thought trick I realize I can use to lift my spirit up: When someone told you that you are not 'real enough' as him/her, you can say 'OK! I am happy that I am not your kind of real, because then I will need to seriously reconsider myself as human being!'. Of course you can say it on your mind. 


We don't need to prove ourselves to every 'jackass' out there. The only valuable people in our life are those who can accept us, without a second thought, unconditionally!  Most importantly is first, we, on our own, to accept and understand ourselves, then we can allow others to do it!




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