Obtaining Wisdom And Finding Your Core Being

[Guest Julie T]

A good friend here on Laura's Playground said she was losing a focus in her life she wanted to regain. It is like the Jedi Knight who has lost the connection to the Force? How horrible that would be.

Heavily edited letter to her, pulling out my personal specific spiritual practices:

Hypnosis is not a word I identify with as defined by the modern world. I do recognize what is called hypnosis, it is a fully awake but sleep-like state that allows you to be accessible suggestion. To us in my belief system, it is a meditative state whereby we prepare ourselves for extended absorption of the Wisdom of the Creator.

It is accomplished, for me anyway, by getting relaxed in bed, just when the body is ready for sleep, but when you are in that state were you will not allow yourself to go under. I perform my protective and calming ritual, then I ask for wisdom. It is difficult sometimes to split your attention, using one half to call and listen, the other half to absorb and remember.

Ritual works well in accomplishing that maneuver - to keep you awake to call and listen - if you have a ritual you have performed many times - it will take much less effort. The messages will come if you super relax. It will eventually put you asleep most times, but the memory trick is to close the ritual just as you go under which is the same as opening it, and then mentally going over what is revealed quickly so you remember it when you awake later. When you awake later try to re-remember what was revealed so it is transferred into your long term memory. This can also be used for whatever you want to do in a self-hypnosis mode, and uses tools that can used for other things.

This can be done every night. I learned to do it accidentally, I think, years ago while putting myself in my woman's mind at night. Now that I am permanently there in my female mindset I don't need that anymore. I am permanently a woman in mind because I have to be living full time, 'have to be' isn't exactly the way to say it - perhaps 'I am privileged to be' - and before in male mode I once had to playact, which is gone now.

Also, what I really wanted to do is show you how to get back to what you really are. You have lost your sense of wonder and joy somewhat because the path you had to go down, as a male-like person, is alien to your mind and soul. Yo see what you truly are 'through a glass darkly' and what you do see isn't bright enough to keep you happy.

You had that happiness you now seek, as a young child. It slowly got loaded over with experiences as you grew older, life experiences you need for survival. But in our case we have to use a life experience so related to what people expect, not what we really are, we end up with depression and often a deadly apathy. So what am I talking about? That little girl in the center of your being? she needs to be allowed out.

Once you reach her again, you can work to add those life experience back on, but with her imaginary participation. Doing this may save your life, it did mine. My goodness, how do you do this?

Imagine you are like the layers of an onion. The real you is in the center. This center is when you were happy, when you were essentially that little girl, before people told you you could not be her. You peel back the layers and re-acquaint yourself with the essential you in the center.

Again it can be done by lying in bed like before. I use ritual just as protection, a way to keep out evil thoughts and influences. I then take my current age and peel back one year, thinking some of what happened in that year. Then I peel back another year, then another. When I get down to about age eight, which for me, is when I am that little girl. When I hit age three I am exactly what I am supposed to be.

I then slowly add years back on, thinking what I was really meant to be doing for each year. When I hit my age of what I am now? I have myself in such a joyous state that it just renews my will. The depression is gone.

The trick is I just know I have to make decisions and take steps to stay in this happy state.

We sometimes lose our core being, as we were actually born female in a male body. We try to make something work that is against our mindset and even our soul. It is alright by the Creator to recapture our essence, I know because I ask all the time. We transsexual are very complicated creatures.

Posting this on a Thursday morning probably dooms this piece to little or no response, but I just had to get it out,

Julie

[Guest Aylen]

Great advice, Julie, I can't wait to try this! I am still learning sooooo much about who I really am ( and the fact that I tried to forget who I was inside) that everything is so new.

Sometimes I'm floating on air!!!!...for a short time anyway!

Huggs 2 u, Aylen