Adoption?

[Guest Danny S.]

I am FtM and pregnant. I am looking into adoption for my baby as I am not sure that I can be a good dad to my baby anymore. My spouse is going through some things, and I don't think we will stay together, since all the sudden he let's me know that he wants someone with a penis. I'm extremely depressed and know I cannot parent alone. I can find adoption agencies with gay and lesbian couples on them, but I really want my child to end up with someone who is transgenderes so I know they truly understand me and will give my child the right idea about me. Know of any?

[JJ]

Danny,

It sounds like you do have a serious challenge and I am sorry that you are going through this.

Could you please provide a little more information? I'm confused.

Are you on T now? And what is your history with testosterone? I am sorry if it seems like prying but does have a bearing on the situation. It is unusual to transition after only a brief time on T and even more unusual to discontinue it if you have. And that can be significant as far as the baby is concerned.

Johnny

[Guest Danny S.]

Oh, no, there are no concerns about baby. I'm non-op as well and consider myself transitioned because I've changed my name 2 years ago and have lived as male 100% of the time since three years ago. Anyway I was only on T for 4-5 months. My voice changed after a week and I am just fine in public. The baby is taken care of by a great OB who knows my situation and is amazing. I am almost 16 weeks along and just need info on how I can get my baby into a transgendered family in case that is the decision I make. Thanks!

[MaryEllen]

I would be more concerned that the baby be placed in a loving home irregardless of whether or not the adoptive parents were transgendered. The baby most likely will not be transgendered and could care less what gender the adoptive parents are.

Please note that Laura's Playground is a site designed for suicide prevention. We're not set up to provide adoption procedures.

You should get in touch with a local adoption agency. They can provide you with options.

MaryEllen

[Guest Danny S.]

I thought this site was just to support trans folks regardless of what their concerns are. Sorry I had the wrong idea. Also I just wanted to see if I could find a transgendered parent to ensure that my child ended up with someone who understood trans issues and would teach my child tolerance. I never thought my kid would be trans, but it's still a part of me and thus a part of my child.

[Drea]

Danny,

Regardless of what you feel about your spouse and future prospects of staying together, assuming this child is your spouses, your spouse will have parental rights that divorce won't terminate if you don't want the child yourself. The decision to offer for adoption will have to be the decision of both of you.

I personally do not know of any angency that specializes in adoptions to trans households.

[MaryEllen]

Yes we are a transgender support site and we are supporting you. You're just not liking our answers.

Why are you assuming that if the baby were to be placed in a non transgender home that tolerance would not be taught?

[Guest calebws]

I know this post is old, but Danny - if you are still considering adoption, I am FTM, and my partner and I are currently pursuing adoption to build our family. We are working with an agency who can give you more information. I realize that this post is over five months old, so perhaps you have already decided to parent or pursued another path, but please do contact me if not. I am a new member (and therefore cannot use the private messaging system yet), but you can visit our website at sarahandcaleb.weebly.com and contact us (or our agency) through there if you'd like to know more. Best wishes to you.