Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Pronouns


Guest Gabochi

Recommended Posts

I will share with you a favorite quote of mine from Dana International.

"I don't like titles or lables (or pronouns). I am what I am, I feel what I feel. You can call me a coward if you want to, just let me live my life." - Dana International.

That about sums it up. However since humans require a means to identify someone/something I suppose female pronouns will be preferred to male.

Link to comment
  • 2 months later...
Guest Juniper Blue

In my day to day life I am usually referred to with female pronouns by loved-ones, friends and acquaintances. Yet, I get a "Sir" out in the public fairly often and this makes me smile to myself. I would prefer a world where "Hello" and "Thank You" is not followed by a "Sir" or Ma'am" it feels odd to me to have that added on ... but I suppose that it is a cultural formality that may change with time. On-line, I prefer male pronouns. It is nice to be seen and addressed as male but it is not something that I need. On forums like this it feels good to let this side of me be actively and intentionally recognized. For me ... I feel like it would be a hassle to switch pronouns and my name at 42 ... I hate hassles ... but if it really bothered me, I would make this transition. Luckily, my birth name is not too outrageously terrible. I can live with it.

- J

Link to comment

Though I'm only 26 I can agree with you on the hassle part Juniper. Just yesterday an acquaintance I've known since I was 16 asked which I would prefer while introducing me to his wife. It made me happy enough just that he asked out of respect for me, so I told him either would be fine since he'd known me for 10 years as with female pronouns and I have a thing about wanting to be difficult on others if they've known me for a long time but haven't been in touch in awhile. Recently made friends though, I prefer male pronouns from. I will also aggressively correct others when they refer to another person by the wrong pronoun (no matter which pronoun they prefer).

Link to comment

After paying attention to my own day to day living, I've come to see that I don't hear a lot of pronouns in average conversation. Is this just me?

Lately I've been treating words like "boy" and "girl" as dirty words, and trying not to use any vocabulary to divide people by sex. Have to catch myself every once in a while, but not often. Sex does not need to be as much a basis for segration as it is.

Link to comment

I hear gender pronouns way to often in my day to day... -sigh- for everyone, though in particularly in my English class since I'm the only "girl" half the time since the two girls are absent often, during just about every class something about "why do girls do _____" will come up and the guys will look to me for answers leaving me to give them an utterly confused "how the love should I know?" look.

Link to comment
the guys will look to me for answers leaving me to give them an utterly confused "how the love should I know?" look.

God I know that feeling.

"Why are guys such jerks?"

"HowthehellwouldIknow?!" o.O

Link to comment
the guys will look to me for answers leaving me to give them an utterly confused "how the love should I know?" look.

God I know that feeling.

"Why are guys such jerks?"

"HowthehellwouldIknow?!" o.O

the guys will look to me for answers leaving me to give them an utterly confused "how the love should I know?" look.

God I know that feeling.

"Why are guys such jerks?"

"HowthehellwouldIknow?!" o.O

and then there's asking about the girlfriend/boyfriend advice!! Because for some reason, my males have yet to realize... I do not react to things like my female friends... and yet still ask "what should I do?" ... "um... ask _______, she knows what she wants. Not me." -sigh-

Link to comment
Guest broken doll

I get so confused. I answer to she/her, etc but they never feel quite right. To be fair, he/him is just as uncomfortable. it?! maybe? I'unno, people don't seem to understand anything else in the English language if it's not male or female then it's a it generally, so I suppose I'd prefer it over he/she. :dunno:

Link to comment

Hmm. . .

"It."

No, I couldn't go with that.

Feels to dehumanizing, like it makes me an object.

All throughout my wife's pregnancy we chose not to find out what the sex of our baby was. So my baby was called "it" a lot. At first it was annoying, but after a while it became infuriating. I wanted to smack people and shout at them "that's my baby you're calling an 'it!'" Like, I know how to refer to my baby as "my baby." I don't need pronouns, cuz I know it's a baby and the baby is mine: my baby.

But that's jus me. Not some standard anyone else should hold, just mine. No judgement, no trashtalk, just my honest opinion.

Link to comment
Guest runner2guy

I think in several languages that go in for sexual differentiation of words, the juvenile of the species is neuter - I've always thought this is true, but I'm open to correction. One possibility which you often come across in English is to use "they", but I always think this is unwieldy. Myself, I'm happy to accept, and to use, the pronoun for the physical sex as the prime form. For better or for worse, I'm male down there, and so officially I'm "he", but I'm very happy when I'm called or referred to as "she". After all, I'm not regularly on show down there .

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...
Guest hoffnungsvollharuna

I'm used to female pronouns, but I think I prefer male pronouns. Honestly, though, from day to day...I prefer different pronouns depending on the day. If I were called the same pronouns my entire life...I'd feel very unhappy :( .

Link to comment

I'm not sure which pronouns I feel comfortable with. I feel out of place with both male and female pronouns, and although I have a fondness for the new Spivak pronouns (basically 'they/their/them' etc., with the initial 'th' dropped), I haven't used them yet.

Link to comment
the new Spivak pronouns (basically 'they/their/them' etc., with the initial 'th' dropped),

:lol: I've been using these in my head, kind of an excersise I guess, and it's something to get used to. The akwardness is just from it being new and unfamilliar, but it also has a very cool sound to it. I feel it can be pulled off smoothly, honestly.

Link to comment

:lol: I've been using these in my head, kind of an excersise I guess, and it's something to get used to. The akwardness is just from it being new and unfamilliar, but it also has a very cool sound to it. I feel it can be pulled off smoothly, honestly.

I think so too. I also think it's a good pronoun to try to spread into the public as a gender-neutral third-person singular, since it's very easy to remember the trick to it: drop the 'th' in all the third-person plural pronouns.

Link to comment
Guest Lady_Robin

Depends. If I am dressed in drab male clothes I would find it odd, but amusing to be referred to with female pronouns. If I am in female clothes trying to pass I would find it disheartening to be referred to with male pronouns, and would take it as a compliment and courtesy to be referred to with female ones. I haven't tried wearing male clothing and still trying to appear feminine though... hmm... *thoughts clatter around in my brain*

Overall I would prefer female, I suppose.

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

Hey yo, I just had a crazy idea. What if all the gender specific pronouns on this site were edited through the filter to gender nuetral pronouns? At least for a short time, just to see how people react to it, how they adapt, even to see how people interact with eachother without thinking about the other person's sex or gender. Just remove everything gender specific and see how people function.

Not gonna hold my breath for it, but doesn't it at least sound intriguing?

Link to comment

That would be a pretty interesting social experiment. Though I'm wondering how it would go by with some of the community that have a strong need to here the proper pronouns for validation; especially when they have nowhere else to here them.

I know, I spent the day with my extended family and I never realized just how often they say my full birth-name, and "woman" "female" along side the simple "she" "her" and "hers" .... As I've only told two family members I wouldn't expect my family to use male pronouns, but the use of my name along with "woman" and "female" seemed excessive. I do suspect one was doing so in order to get me to verbalize any form of protest... or I could be reading into his actions to me.

Link to comment
  • 1 month later...
Guest runner2guy

There's problems with words other than pronouns sometimes. When I'm serving behind the bar, am I a barmaid or a barman? The word barmaid is used for females between 16 (minimum age to serve behind bar, but two years younger than being allowed to drink) and 80, so I qualify, but I could also be a barman - it all depends on who is looking at me, and how I happen to be dressed and on my mood on any particular day. I have to be one or the other - there is no neuter word that can be used. Barperson would be absurd. Cellarman might do, and I'm that sometimes too, but I could also be cellargirl, and I suppose I could be called that too.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   5 Members, 0 Anonymous, 172 Guests (See full list)

    • VickySGV
    • MaeBe
    • MaryEllen
    • Adrianna Danielle
    • MaybeRob
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.6k
    • Total Posts
      768k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,014
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Quillian
    Newest Member
    Quillian
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Bowie Ellis
      Bowie Ellis
      (19 years old)
    2. Damien Mcknight
      Damien Mcknight
      (18 years old)
    3. JJ
      JJ
      (77 years old)
    4. KathyLauren
      KathyLauren
      (70 years old)
    5. memyselfandwe
      memyselfandwe
      (44 years old)
  • Posts

    • MaeBe
      So…I didn’t know your Facebook avatar was public. So, on my birthday, a couple people used a group avatar message to wish me a happy birthday…and now my Facebook friends can see a short video of my female avatar dancing with an old friend’s and another with my uncle’s avatars. So am I “Facebook out” now? 😬
    • Davie
      No, they are not. Truth wins in the end and this report is full of lies that poison the whole thing: see this: "Dr. Cass Backpedals From Review: HRT, Blockers Should Be Made Available it's said. Dr. Cass's latest statements are likely to cast more doubt on the validity of the study, which has come under fire for disregarding substantial evidence on trans care." https://www.erininthemorning.com/p/dr-cass-backpedals-from-review-hrt?publication_id=994764&post_id=143743897&isFreemail=true&r=rebf4&triedRedirect=true I hope Dr. Cass wins The Mengele Award for it.
    • Adrianna Danielle
      Boyfriend and I went to a support group for spouses dating or married to a transgender person on Tuesday night for the first time.It was amazing meeting other couples like us.One was a genetic woman whom has been dating a transgender male for the first time and she is supporting his transition.Us,they were amazed by us agreeing on something we said,love and acceptance have brought us together
    • Abigail Genevieve
      By which I mean there is a cultural stereotype of what a man is, and one of what a woman is.  Even worse, of what a transgender person is.   You be you.   I read of a boy who thought he was a girl because he did not adhere to some (rather toxic) conceptions of what it means to be a man, so he decided he was a girl.  He was told he didn't have to conform to stereotype and got happy. "You mean I don't have to transition?" He didn't want to, and was relieved.   Once upon a time if you were transgender they told you either you transition or die.   Incorporate the best of what it means to be a man and the best of what it means to be a woman as much as you possibly can, and let the rest go.  Be fully human. Be alive. Don't conform to some cultural crud.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      On the way back to her desk she was interrupted by six short, urgent conversations that had to be attended to. Then she slipped into the women's room and locked the stall door.  She took a deep breath, then another, and allowed herself to shake for five minutes,  Then deep breathing, ten in and ten out, stretch up, touch the floor, neck rolls and she was fine. She used the toilet and a woman knocked and said, "Taylor, are you okay?"   "Ready to conquer the world!"  on her way out she found her makeup was fine.  Three stalls, two sinks.  If she ever designed a women's room with three stalls, there would be four sinks, with plenty of space to plunk your stuff down between them.   She met a deferential Karen.  "Here is the branding I came up with," she said.  And she went back to working as hard as Brenda and Mary, who looked up worriedly and then went back to the proposal.   Shortly before 5:00 she received an email with the title Consolidation and Compensation.  In it she learned that the position of office manager was eliminated, and the current office manager was to become the chief executive officer. The former CEO, along with the CFO, the chief legal officer, and sundry staff, had been terminated, per the Board of Directors.  Effective immediately everyone would receive a base salary of $20,000 with a commission to be set by the individual's supervisor.  Each supervisor would be given a certain percentage to distribute.  Most functions they had been handled would be outsourced as needed.   "The question of what profit was made last year is frequent enough to be answered.  The company lost over 500,000 in fiscal 2023.  At this point further cuts are not anticipated.  We will be strategically adding positions that will enhance our profits. Hard work is expected of everyone."   Her two web guys had been complaining because their games had been remotely uninstalled.  After the memo came out they were absolutely silent.  That gave her an idea, and after an exchange of emails they were reassigned to maintenance out at the plant, effective tomorrow morning.  There were lots of weeds that needed pulling, if nothing else. That email went out after they left early, for the day.  The maintenance foreman was a no-nonsense type who did not tolerate slacking, and they would learn a thing or two.  This also freed up two spaces for her to put new people.
    • Davie
      Except for this thung thwister: Theophilus Thistle, the successful thistle sifter, in sifting a sieve full of unsifted thistles, thrust three-thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb. Now if, Theophilus Thistle, the successful thistle sifter, in sifting a sieve full of of unsifted thistles, thrust three-thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb, how many thistles can'st thou thrust through the thick of thy thumb . . . in sifting a sieve-full of unsifted thistles? Success to the successful thistle sifter!
    • VickySGV
      You have given you and us a big clue right there.  I hope you have shared this observation with your Endocrinologist and are willing to take their advice about changing that behavior.    Non prescribed herbal or animal supplements can have a negative effect on your body's use of your available hormones.  Also, your genetics are going to be controlling what your body is going to do with your hormones, and again, that is for you to consult with your Endocrinologists.  On this site none of us are licensed medical personnel and we cannot give you advice on your health more than what your doctor can.  We have rules that we enforce against our members advising about "Folk Remedies" because we have had members who have gone that route and badly damaged their health and quality of life.  Only thing I can go anywhere on, is that maybe if you change your expectations of what should happen, you will at least not be in danger of harming yourself from anxiety.
    • Timi
      Hi @violet r!    Thank you so much for sharing. I'm so glad you found this place. I hope you find as much comfort and support here as I have.    -Timi    
    • marysssia
      Hi lovely people,   I'm a 25 yo MtF woman, and I've been suffering from low estrogen issues since October 2023. I completely lost my feminine libido, my breast completely stopped growing, my estrogen levels dropped by a lot (despite NOT decreasing my E dosage) and thus my dysphoria drastically increased. I think it is worth mentioning that, for my health issues, I had been taking ----- Lamotrigine for months & had been on ketogenic diet, and these things seem to be a culprit of my current issue. I weaned off Lamotrigine some time ago and gave up on keto diet, but it still doesn't seem to help. My estrogen is still low (44 ng/ml) and my libido hasn't come back yet. In general, I struggle with my dysphoria so much because of that and, to be honest, I don't know what to do. I've tried so many dietary supplements, yet I didn't get any effects from them. My endocrinologist didn't know how to help me. She only suggested to increase my daily estrogen dose (to 3x per day ------sublingual estrogen tablets and 3x per day ------ estrogen gel applied to armpits or thighs), which I did, without any effect.   Please, help me. Prior to keto diet & Lamotrigine treatment, I'd never had experience like that. I'm basically helpless and have no clue what to do. Having to deal with low estrogen is a horrible experience to me and it affects my life severely.   BTW, my T levels are always within female range.   Do you have any clue what exactly I should do?
    • April Marie
      I love wearing a jeans skirt!! That looks like airport carpet. Safe travels if you're flying!!
    • Maddee
      Flight faraway forthcoming Fabulous forum friends 😊😊🎸🦂
    • Maddee
    • KathyLauren
      One of our cats is polydactyl.  He has 7 toes on each front paw and 5 on each back paw, for 24 toes total.   Another one, an ex-feral who, at the time, was free to roam, climbed 50 feet up a tree without having any thought about how he was going to get down.  His pal climed down backwards, but he couldn't.  He ended up coming down by leaping from branch to branch.  Which nearly gave us heart attacks, because he only has one eye and therefore has no depth perception.   The other ex-feral (both are now indoor cats) obviously does not have those soft pads on his feet.  At night, when we are in bed, we can hear him stomping around the house.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      The two o'clock Onshoring meeting was going well.  Taylor was leading, inviting other people up to speak on their specialties. Aerial photogrammetry and surveying, including the exact boundary, were out for contract signature  Gibson had handled that - Manufacturing was supposed to, but somehow hadn't happened.  Legal issues from Legal. Accounting reported on current costs, including all upkeep, guard salaries, etc.  Manufacturing was supposed to give those numbers, but they hadn't.   The downside was the VP of Manufacturing.  He had arrived at the meeting red-faced, his tie askew, clutching a bottle. It smelled strongly of vodka. He had never done anything in his twenty years of being VP of Manufacturing, and he did not like being asked now.   "Mr. ----, do you have the inventory we asked for?" Taylor asked politely.  VP Gibson had asked him to have his people go through the plant and not only inventory but assess the operational status of every piece of equipment.  They needed to know what they had. "I'm not going to take any f---- orders from a g-d- tra---," he snarled. "God knows what kind of perverts it has dragged into our fair city and bangs every night." "That is completely out of line." That was Gibson.  Taylor controlled herself.  That was a shot at Bob, not just at Taylor.  She was glad Bob was not there to do something stupid.  Had Mrs. McCarthy been talking? What had she said?  Was she given to embellishment?  Taylor took a deep breath. "I'm not sorry.  You f--- can take this stupid onshoring --- and shove it up your -" "That is quite enough."  This was the head of HR. "You can take your sissy ways and sashay -" "You are fired." "You can't fire me." "Oh, yes I can," said the office manager.  The VP took another swig from his bottle. "Try it."  He looked uncertain. "I will have you removed.  Are you going to leave on your own?  I am calling the police to help you leave." And he dialed the number. He stomped out cursing. They heard him noisily go down the hall.  This was the front conference room.  He actually went through security and out the door, throwing his badge on the ground on his way.  The guard picked it up. They could see this through the glass wall. "Can you fire a VP?" "The Board told me that if anyone gives me problems they should be shown the door. Even a VP.  I can fire everyone here. I won't, of course. Those were problems." "Are you alright, Taylor?" She nodded.  "I've heard worse.  Shall we continue?" And they did.   The last item was that certain business people in China had been arrested, and the corporation that had been supporting them all these years had been dissolved.  They were on their own, and the Board was dead serious on straightening things out.  After this meeting, Taylor believed it.  She did not attend the meeting to discuss how to distribute the few duties the VP of Manufacturing had done.  That was ultimately up to the Board.    
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Lunch was at Cabaret, still free.  The place was quiet: it was the sort of place you took a business client to impress them, and the few other people were in business suits.  Most of the legal profession was there.   She told him of the morning's frustrations, breaking her own rule about confidentiality.  She asked Karen how the branding was going, and Karen had snapped back that she had not started on it yet - they had all these proposals.  Taylor had explained that it was important, for the two o'clock meeting, and Karen told her to do it herself.  Karen pointed out that Taylor could not touch her - her uncle was on the Board and her brother was VP of Manufacturing.  Nor would the two computer guys go out to the plant - they were playing some kind of MMORPG and simply not available. If she wanted the pictures, she should go.  Mary prayed an Ave Maria, but both she and Brenda were racing to get the proposal out. The client wanted it Friday for review.   She didn't bring up what Mrs. McCarthy had told her.  She wasn't sure how to approach it.  She thought of telling her of a 'something more comfortable' she had bought in case he ever DID show up at her door. It was in the bottom drawer of her dresser, ready to go.  Instead she talked about moving to a place with a garage.  Several of the abandoned houses had one, and they had been maintained well with China cash.   Bob had finally realized that when he was introduced as Bob, Taylor's boyfriend, that was just how things were done here. Other people had introduced each other in terms of family relationships, which were strong.  Long before you found out anything else about someone, you knew how they were related.  Family kept people from leaving Millville.    "What is the real name of this town, anyway?"   She laughed.  "I am trying to find that out.  It's 'Welcome to Millvale' when you come into town from the north, and 'Welcome to Millville' on the south.  I have counted two other variants."   "What a town. Roosevelt is like that, with the families, but there is only one spelling."  
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...