Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Pronouns


Guest Gabochi

Recommended Posts

I will share with you a favorite quote of mine from Dana International.

"I don't like titles or lables (or pronouns). I am what I am, I feel what I feel. You can call me a coward if you want to, just let me live my life." - Dana International.

That about sums it up. However since humans require a means to identify someone/something I suppose female pronouns will be preferred to male.

Link to comment
  • 2 months later...
Guest Juniper Blue

In my day to day life I am usually referred to with female pronouns by loved-ones, friends and acquaintances. Yet, I get a "Sir" out in the public fairly often and this makes me smile to myself. I would prefer a world where "Hello" and "Thank You" is not followed by a "Sir" or Ma'am" it feels odd to me to have that added on ... but I suppose that it is a cultural formality that may change with time. On-line, I prefer male pronouns. It is nice to be seen and addressed as male but it is not something that I need. On forums like this it feels good to let this side of me be actively and intentionally recognized. For me ... I feel like it would be a hassle to switch pronouns and my name at 42 ... I hate hassles ... but if it really bothered me, I would make this transition. Luckily, my birth name is not too outrageously terrible. I can live with it.

- J

Link to comment

Though I'm only 26 I can agree with you on the hassle part Juniper. Just yesterday an acquaintance I've known since I was 16 asked which I would prefer while introducing me to his wife. It made me happy enough just that he asked out of respect for me, so I told him either would be fine since he'd known me for 10 years as with female pronouns and I have a thing about wanting to be difficult on others if they've known me for a long time but haven't been in touch in awhile. Recently made friends though, I prefer male pronouns from. I will also aggressively correct others when they refer to another person by the wrong pronoun (no matter which pronoun they prefer).

Link to comment

After paying attention to my own day to day living, I've come to see that I don't hear a lot of pronouns in average conversation. Is this just me?

Lately I've been treating words like "boy" and "girl" as dirty words, and trying not to use any vocabulary to divide people by sex. Have to catch myself every once in a while, but not often. Sex does not need to be as much a basis for segration as it is.

Link to comment

I hear gender pronouns way to often in my day to day... -sigh- for everyone, though in particularly in my English class since I'm the only "girl" half the time since the two girls are absent often, during just about every class something about "why do girls do _____" will come up and the guys will look to me for answers leaving me to give them an utterly confused "how the love should I know?" look.

Link to comment
the guys will look to me for answers leaving me to give them an utterly confused "how the love should I know?" look.

God I know that feeling.

"Why are guys such jerks?"

"HowthehellwouldIknow?!" o.O

Link to comment
the guys will look to me for answers leaving me to give them an utterly confused "how the love should I know?" look.

God I know that feeling.

"Why are guys such jerks?"

"HowthehellwouldIknow?!" o.O

the guys will look to me for answers leaving me to give them an utterly confused "how the love should I know?" look.

God I know that feeling.

"Why are guys such jerks?"

"HowthehellwouldIknow?!" o.O

and then there's asking about the girlfriend/boyfriend advice!! Because for some reason, my males have yet to realize... I do not react to things like my female friends... and yet still ask "what should I do?" ... "um... ask _______, she knows what she wants. Not me." -sigh-

Link to comment
Guest broken doll

I get so confused. I answer to she/her, etc but they never feel quite right. To be fair, he/him is just as uncomfortable. it?! maybe? I'unno, people don't seem to understand anything else in the English language if it's not male or female then it's a it generally, so I suppose I'd prefer it over he/she. :dunno:

Link to comment

Hmm. . .

"It."

No, I couldn't go with that.

Feels to dehumanizing, like it makes me an object.

All throughout my wife's pregnancy we chose not to find out what the sex of our baby was. So my baby was called "it" a lot. At first it was annoying, but after a while it became infuriating. I wanted to smack people and shout at them "that's my baby you're calling an 'it!'" Like, I know how to refer to my baby as "my baby." I don't need pronouns, cuz I know it's a baby and the baby is mine: my baby.

But that's jus me. Not some standard anyone else should hold, just mine. No judgement, no trashtalk, just my honest opinion.

Link to comment
Guest runner2guy

I think in several languages that go in for sexual differentiation of words, the juvenile of the species is neuter - I've always thought this is true, but I'm open to correction. One possibility which you often come across in English is to use "they", but I always think this is unwieldy. Myself, I'm happy to accept, and to use, the pronoun for the physical sex as the prime form. For better or for worse, I'm male down there, and so officially I'm "he", but I'm very happy when I'm called or referred to as "she". After all, I'm not regularly on show down there .

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...
Guest hoffnungsvollharuna

I'm used to female pronouns, but I think I prefer male pronouns. Honestly, though, from day to day...I prefer different pronouns depending on the day. If I were called the same pronouns my entire life...I'd feel very unhappy :( .

Link to comment

I'm not sure which pronouns I feel comfortable with. I feel out of place with both male and female pronouns, and although I have a fondness for the new Spivak pronouns (basically 'they/their/them' etc., with the initial 'th' dropped), I haven't used them yet.

Link to comment
the new Spivak pronouns (basically 'they/their/them' etc., with the initial 'th' dropped),

:lol: I've been using these in my head, kind of an excersise I guess, and it's something to get used to. The akwardness is just from it being new and unfamilliar, but it also has a very cool sound to it. I feel it can be pulled off smoothly, honestly.

Link to comment

:lol: I've been using these in my head, kind of an excersise I guess, and it's something to get used to. The akwardness is just from it being new and unfamilliar, but it also has a very cool sound to it. I feel it can be pulled off smoothly, honestly.

I think so too. I also think it's a good pronoun to try to spread into the public as a gender-neutral third-person singular, since it's very easy to remember the trick to it: drop the 'th' in all the third-person plural pronouns.

Link to comment
Guest Lady_Robin

Depends. If I am dressed in drab male clothes I would find it odd, but amusing to be referred to with female pronouns. If I am in female clothes trying to pass I would find it disheartening to be referred to with male pronouns, and would take it as a compliment and courtesy to be referred to with female ones. I haven't tried wearing male clothing and still trying to appear feminine though... hmm... *thoughts clatter around in my brain*

Overall I would prefer female, I suppose.

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

Hey yo, I just had a crazy idea. What if all the gender specific pronouns on this site were edited through the filter to gender nuetral pronouns? At least for a short time, just to see how people react to it, how they adapt, even to see how people interact with eachother without thinking about the other person's sex or gender. Just remove everything gender specific and see how people function.

Not gonna hold my breath for it, but doesn't it at least sound intriguing?

Link to comment

That would be a pretty interesting social experiment. Though I'm wondering how it would go by with some of the community that have a strong need to here the proper pronouns for validation; especially when they have nowhere else to here them.

I know, I spent the day with my extended family and I never realized just how often they say my full birth-name, and "woman" "female" along side the simple "she" "her" and "hers" .... As I've only told two family members I wouldn't expect my family to use male pronouns, but the use of my name along with "woman" and "female" seemed excessive. I do suspect one was doing so in order to get me to verbalize any form of protest... or I could be reading into his actions to me.

Link to comment
  • 1 month later...
Guest runner2guy

There's problems with words other than pronouns sometimes. When I'm serving behind the bar, am I a barmaid or a barman? The word barmaid is used for females between 16 (minimum age to serve behind bar, but two years younger than being allowed to drink) and 80, so I qualify, but I could also be a barman - it all depends on who is looking at me, and how I happen to be dressed and on my mood on any particular day. I have to be one or the other - there is no neuter word that can be used. Barperson would be absurd. Cellarman might do, and I'm that sometimes too, but I could also be cellargirl, and I suppose I could be called that too.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   5 Members, 0 Anonymous, 121 Guests (See full list)

    • Susie
    • Wicked juggalo
    • Carolyn Marie
    • Jet McCartney
    • KathyLauren
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.3k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,024
    • Most Online
      8,356

    JamesyGreen
    Newest Member
    JamesyGreen
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Dillon
      Dillon
    2. Kaylee888
      Kaylee888
    3. lily100
      lily100
      (39 years old)
    4. Luce
      Luce
      (44 years old)
    5. Luke.S
      Luke.S
  • Posts

    • Abigail Genevieve
      Them's fighting words, but I intend to discuss this respectfully, calmly and so forth, in accordance with the forum rules.   Considering the one issue below in isolation:   There is a political calculus that trans folk may be better off under Trump than under Biden.  The argument goes that Biden has created such a backlash by moving so far to the left that red states, in particular, are reacting with a swarm of laws that negatively impact trans folk.  Some of his actions strike many people as clumsily forcing unwanted regulation on people, and some of his appointments, such as the luggage stealing bigender individual, have not helped advance trans folk but rather the reverse.  In a second term Biden would make things worse for trans folk because of the backlash and resentment his policies would create.    Trump likely would have negative impacts to trans folk, as he did in his first term with respect to the military, so it is a set of tradeoffs as to which is worse.   Thoughts?
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Can you dress androgynously? 
    • Ashley0616
    • Abigail Genevieve
      There are trans folk who pass better than some cis people.  People usually aren't on the lookout for those who are cross dressed.  As long as there are no multiple screaming signals and you don't draw attention to yourself you can probably pass better than you think. For example, if you walk into a bank in heels, however, and you DON'T know how to walk in heels, you will attract the attention of a security guard, especially if you are acting nervous. If you wear flats and just go to the bank and do your business like anyone else, it is likely no one will notice, except that there was a customer who was taller than most women are, but then there are tall women, and tall, broad shouldered woman.  I made the mistake years ago of thinking I had outed such, and knew she was a he.  Later I learned she had five kids, and her husband was bigger than she was.  Ooops.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I don't know much about CNAs.  They report to an RN, right?  Can you somehow bring this up to the RN in a way that does not get your CNA mad at you? I'm not saying you should, but maybe that is a good course of action.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      This is the thing.  A month ago tomorrow is when I stopped wearing m clothing.  Today I feel great.  I do not have dysphoria when I am dressed as and I move as a woman.  I was just thinking about that because I was wondering if I would or will get hit with a wave of "you don't have dysphoria so you might as well dress like a guy. Less hassle with your wife."  Not that she is aware, to my knowledge, that these androgynous clothes are women's.  No desire to "flip", no feeling of need to, just happy identifying as female.  Speaking, in my deep guy voice, with female voice patterns, doing the feminine gestures that come naturally and without exaggeration and at peace.
    • Birdie
      Yes, my brother was born lactating due to absorbing hormones from my mum.    Of course she isn't a nurse, she is a CNA. She should however still have general medical knowledge.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I agree.  But sometimes unethical conduct must still be legal, because the cure would be worse than the disease.  One problem we have today with the internet is the trolls can gang up on someone and destroy them - we see the with school bullying as well.   He was in the Southern Baptist Convention, and maybe he should have moved his church over to say the American Baptists, who might have been able to help him. A Southern Baptist pastor is king in his church, peerless, which means he could not have gone for help in his church.  And he could not have gone for help from any other pastor in the SBC because they likely affirm the SBC statements on these matters.  I think he was stuck.    I read this when it came out in the news.  Very sad situation.  
    • Carolyn Marie
      One organization that I know of that is dedicated to assisting LGBT seniors is SAGE.  They advocate for, and have services for, all LGBT folks, not just trans folk.  You can find their website Here.  I am not sure what, if anything, they have in terms of financial assistance.  I'll let you know if I find anything else.   Carolyn Marie
    • Davie
    • VickySGV
      This was an angle that I was very suspicious of as well, and may be the hook on which the settlement was hung.      Not at all strange especially if they had former patients who moved there that still owed money on their bills or they were buying hospital supplies from a Texas corporation. They may have business licenses in other states as well.  Small loss, but saxeT shot itself in the foot there since the license was a source of income to the state. 
    • RaineOnYourParade
      Nah it's fine, I'm past the point of really blaming them most of the time. I've gotten used to it, and they could be a whole lot worse.   I'm glad you have a good place, though <3
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I wonder about the professional knowledge level here.  Men have milk ducts.  She, as a nurse, should know this.  This is interesting  https://www.livescience.com/45732-can-men-lactate.html  Yes, men can lactate and have lactated, trans or cis.  The idea that Birdie does not have milk ducts or tissue is just plain wrong.  Her statement indicates that she has not looked at the medical record, which she should be familiar with to treat the patient. 
    • Ivy
      Trans women can lactate under the right conditions. But that's not even the case in your situation.  It's so stupid how they simply refuse to accept your reality.
    • missyjo
      I used to include going ti worship but no longer    awkward good fir you. enjoy. :)   raine  sorry. my family is pretty lousy at support too. my part time job helps alot. hope it gets better fir you n all
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...