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Anyone Recognized (Mistaken) As Your True Gender While Still Presenting As Your Birth Sex?


Guest Shy

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Guest xjpopfanx

I always have this happening. ^^;; Well actually, I never dress up like a girl or anything so technically I'm always presenting as my birth sex but it seems I was gifted/cursed with the looks of a girl despite being born a guy. >_<

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Who you calling tiny? I'm 175cm tall! That's about 5ft8 or 5ft10 I think... with a10D/32D! (Calculated for Americans)

okay then, stick! XD Being an american size 4/6 and that tall, I think you may be as thick as my wrist! XD

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Who you calling tiny? I'm 175cm tall! That's about 5ft8 or 5ft10 I think... with a10D/32D! (Calculated for Americans)

okay then, stick! XD Being an american size 4/6 and that tall, I think you may be as thick as my wrist! XD

Really!? When it comes to people in Australia I'm a bit on the larger side! Not too much taller either...

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As far as height goes, no biggie. I am very conscious of tall women because I'm a little on the tall side for a girl but I have seen some TALL women lately! I think American and Scandinavian women tend to be a little taller than most. have you seen the model who is like 6'8"? (worlds tallest female model). She will make your day.

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Really? I'm running the gambit as nearly the tallest when it comes to being female at 5'7.5 (me and my friend had to have a height off... since she used to be taller... and now she's shorter at 5'7 precisely) Most of the girls I am friends with in person are 5'5'' and down. Though I'm also near the heaviest..

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Guest ashley4623

Once at work I was at the return counter, and an older lady I was helping kept referring to me as "miss". Then another time something like that happened with an older man. He's referred to me as "she" and I turned and looked around to find nobody but me. That definitely made me XD, especially because he kept using feminine pronouns. I assume that in both of these situations there was some dementia or vision impairment--although none of them had glasses so idk... But hey I'm not complaining :)

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Rowan, you're 5'10 :3

Pfft, you prob have such a dude 'tude that no one dare doubts ya. ^.^

Ashley, you are cutie. Nuff said. No dementia needed to see you as such.

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Guest MelissaF

I used to a lot. Now I mostly present as me, female.

I used to enjoy it when people would "mistakenly" address me as "miss". It kinda stung when they tried to correct themselves, but I suppose they didn't know better.

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I used to a lot. Now I mostly present as me, female.

I used to enjoy it when people would "mistakenly" address me as "miss". It kinda stung when they tried to correct themselves, but I suppose they didn't know better.

Yeah, really. It's like "no, no you're fine, really." But then, outting and all... :/

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I used to a lot. Now I mostly present as me, female.

I used to enjoy it when people would "mistakenly" address me as "miss". It kinda stung when they tried to correct themselves, but I suppose they didn't know better.

Yeah, really. It's like "no, no you're fine, really." But then, outting and all... :/

yeeeeah, one of my best friends will refer to me with male pronouns from time to time I wish she would more often... but I understand why, she believes that my gender issues are in large part due to my utter fail marriage and prior relationships.. kinda feels invalidating but she's known me for half our lives and I know she doesn't mean harm. Anyway I digress, there are times when she'll do so in front of her son(who's 6) the last time she called me a "silly boy" he asked why she called me a boy and my friend stumbled awkwardly and looked to me for a bit of help to which I answered him "because I don't mind."

Still hurts that she tries to censor things of this nature as well as homosexuality from him even though she says she's supportive of gay and trans rights....

And I'm going to shush again as I'm wandering off topic.

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Meh, not off topic at all, I think it has everything to do with the subject.

It's one thing to have strangers "correct" themselves, but to have someone who knows how you feel get akward about it is something different.

I do know how akward it is for your friend, not knowing exactly what to do in the face of your children. I tell my kids that people can wear what they want and like what colors they like, and that's in response to colorful fuzzy socks on my feet. I'm still not certain about how I should approach these things with them. They've begun to see how society draws lines based on gender, and it seems natural, and what I do starts to seem a little strange. It's a hard thing for me to deal with, and I'm the one who's genderqueer, not a friend of mine. So having your friend struggle with this and not be genderqueer too, that complicates matters so much more. By this time, her kid has most likely seen the same things in people that my 6 year old daughter has. I can't help what my kids are influenced by outside of my veiw, and I can't help the differences my wife and I have about how to raise kids gender wise. Certain things are just there, because society is still heavily reliant on a binary system. It's tough for progressive parents to fight against these influences without completely screwing up a child's perception.

I know it hurts, and I feel for you. Believe me, this kind of thing hurts me too. I wish I had an answer, a way that worked for me that you might share with your friend. But I don't know a way that works, not with kids or against the societal influence. . .

I feel your friend does truly care about you though, and that is a great thing. With that door open, I think you'll have a better chance of figuring out how to deal with this issue than I could on my own. Communication is paramount to this though, if she doesn't know this is an issue, nothing will be done.

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I mistakenly got called Sir 5 times yesterday, and was addressed as Rowan! Hehe, switched my name tag. :D

Until a male friend corrected them, needless to say he found out just how scary I can be! XD

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Guest MelissaF

When my roommates and I were looking for a house and we toured one place, we did so at the same time as a group of guys. The landlady kept referring to them as the boys and my best friend and I as the girls.

I'm a bit amused because at the time our other two roommates were both guys. My bff and I were the only two girls in our group.

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XD

okay, so I /was/ in my binder.... but I was at my friends birthday party and one of his friends had to secretly ask them if I was a boy or girl. OF course, my friend had to spoil the moment a little by saying "girl" and having me show my binder... (I only knew why I was suddenly asked to lift my shirt after the fact.)

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I just want to be, as I am, and not make a big thing of it. But when the way I am is so against what it seems I should be to everyone else, it's hard to maintain a quiet persistance. I am forced to explain myself, to correct misconceptions and to become a preacher of sorts. I'd rather live quietly with the hope that people dear to me will accept that I am the way I am and I don't need a reason to be, and people who can't grasp it would just get over it on their own. No, people have to read into everything and apply labels and standards when none are needed.

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Very true Micha, I'm a low key person in some aspects I don't like standing on the soap box on issues and such. I'll be outgoing but on my own time because I find it to much effort to have a constant struggle against people who I don't even know. My friend accepts me, when I'm feeling the most down she's always there to at least try and perk me up even if it's simply asking "what's wrong with my husband today?" but, why do I need to be 'outed' and 'explained' to her friends and family?

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Guest Juniper Blue

Yes ... Hi all ... I am just testing to see if I can successfully post. Please forgive me. To respond the question:

Yes, I get called "sir" almost daily. I was born female. When I get the hang of this, I would love to post more. So nice to be here with you all! :o)

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Guest runner2guy

Yes. It's always happening. I work in a pub, and the first time I was mistaken for a girl is a vivid memory. Since then it has become a lot commoner, because I've become a lot less less shy about it. My usual wear in the pub is a skirt rather than pants, so the mistake is easier for people to make, but it's much the same even when I'm in ordinary pants or jeans, Same when I'm in running singlet and shorts, when my essential shape is obvious. I dont go out my way to look girlish, but nowadays I dont try to hide it either.

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Guest Juniper Blue

I get pretty stressed when I have to go into the women's locker room. Once, I actually had security called on me. When I was younger, I worked at an all women's gym and at times there would be security alerts that a man was in the gym. ( the manager would have to explain that I was no ta man ... that was awkward.) I am often called "Sir" ... It actually feels very odd when I am not called "Sir" and when I get a "Ma'am" it really BUGS me! I have been identified by strangers as male routinely since puberty at age 10. Before that I was boyish but seldom identified as male... perhaps because I had long hair, feminine clothing and had not become muscular yet.

I would like to see the use of gender neutral language in our society. Why is a simple "Hello" or "Thank you" not enough?? Why do so many people need to follow every formal interaction with "Sir" or "Ma'am?" It feels outdated and a bit like people are acting like servants ... I do not want servants!! I understand that it is a part of our socialization and professional conduct but still ... I hope that one day these gender descriptors paired with formalities can be dropped entirely.

This is an interesting topic!

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    • KathyLauren
      <Moderator hat on>  I think that, at this point we need to get the thread back onto the topic, which is the judge's ruling on the ballot proposition.  If there is more to be said on the general principles of gendered spaces etc., please discuss them, carefully and respectfully, in separate threads. <Moderator hat off>
    • Abigail Genevieve
      People who have no understanding of transgender conditions should not be making policy for people dealing with it. Since it is such a small percentage of the population, and each individual is unique, and their circumstances are also unique, each situation needs to be worked with individually to see that the best possible solution is implemented for those involved. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      No.  You are getting stuck on one statement and pulling it out of context.   Trans kids have rights, but so do non-trans kids.  That conflict is best worked out in the individual situation. 
    • MaeBe
      I get the concept, I believe. You're trying to state that trans kids need to or should be excluded from binary gender spaces and that you acknowledge that answers to accommodate those kids may not be found through policy. I disagree with the capability of "penetration" as being the operative delimiter in the statement, however. I contest this statement is poorly chosen at best and smacks of prejudice at worst. That it perpetuates certain stereotypes, whether that was the intent or not.   Frankly, all kids should have the right to privacy in locker rooms, regardless of gender, sexuality, or anatomy. They should also have access to exercise and activities that other kids do and allow them to socialize in those activities. The more kids are othered, extracted, or barred from the typical school day the more isolated and stigmatized they become. That's not healthy for anyone, the excluded for obvious reasons and the included for others--namely they get to be the "haves" and all that entails.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Context.  Read the context.  Good grief.
    • MaeBe
      Please don't expect people to read manifold pages of fiction to understand a post.   There was a pointed statement made, and I responded to it. The statement used the term penetration, not "dissimilar anatomy causing social discomfiture", or some other reason. It was extended as a "rule" across very different social situations as well, locker and girl's bedrooms. How that term is used in most situations is to infer sexual contact, so most readers would read that and think the statement is that we "need to keep trans girl's penises out of cis girls", which reads very closely to the idea that trans people are often portrayed as sexual predators.   I understand we can't always get all of our thoughts onto the page, but this doesn't read like an under-cooked idea or a lingual short cut.
    • Ashley0616
      I shopped online in the beginning of transition. I had great success with SHEIN and Torrid!
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Have you read the rest of what I wrote?   Please read between the lines of what I said about high school.  Go over and read my Taylor story.  Put two and two together.   That is all I will say about that.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      "I feel like I lost my husband," Lois told the therapist,"I want the man I married." Dr. Smith looked at Odie, sitting there in his men's clothing, looking awkward and embarrassed. "You have him.  This is just a part of him you did not know about. Or did not face." She turned to Odie,"Did you tear my wedding dress on our wedding night?" He admitted it.  She had a whole catalog of did-you and how-could you.  Dr. Smith encouraged her to let it all out. Thirty years of marriage.  Strange makeup in the bathroom.  The kids finding women's laundry in the laundry room. There was reconciliation. "What do we do now?" Dr. Smith said they had to work that out.  Odie began wearing women's clothing when not at work.  They visited a cross-dressers' social club but it did not appeal to them.  The bed was off limits to cross dressing.  She had limits and he could respect her limits.  Visits to relatives would be with him in men's clothing.    "You have nail polish residue," a co-worker pointed out.  Sure enough, the bottom of his left pinky nail was bright pink  His boss asked him to go home and fix it.  He did.   People were talking, he was sure, because he doubted he was anywhere as thorough as he wanted to be.  It was like something in him wanted to tell everyone what he was doing, and he was sloppy.   His boss dropped off some needed paperwork on a Saturday unexpectedly and found Odie dressed in a house dress and wig.  "What?" the boss said, shook his head, and left.  None of his business.   "People are talking," Lois said. "They are asking about this," she pointed to his denim skirt. "This seems to go past or deeper than cross dressing."   "Yes.  I guess we need some counseling."  And they went.
    • April Marie
      You look wonderful!!! A rose among the roses.
    • Ashley0616
      Mine would be SHEIN as much as I have bought from them lol.
    • MaeBe
      This is the persistence in thinking of trans girls as predators and, as if, they are the only kind of predation that happens in locker rooms. This is strikingly close to the dangerous myth that anatomy corresponds with sexuality and equates to gender.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      At the same time there might be mtf boys who transitioned post-puberty who really belong on the girls' teams because they have more similarities there than with the boys, would perform at the same level, and might get injured playing with the bigger, stronger boys.   I well remember being an androgynous shrimp in gym class that I shared with seniors who played on the football team.  When PE was no longer mandatory, I was no longer in PE. They started some mixed PE classes the second semester, where we played volleyball and learned bowling and no longer mixed with those seniors, boys and girls together.
    • Timi
      Leggings and gym shorts, sweatshirt, Handker wild rag. Listening to new Taylor Swift album while strolling through the rose garden in the park. 
    • Ivy
      Grey short sleeved dress under a beige pinafore-type dress.  Black thigh highs (probably look like tights).  It was cool this morning so a light black colored sweater.  
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