Anyone Recognized (Mistaken) As Your True Gender While Still Presenting As Your Birth Sex?

[Guest Maëlle]

Hi there! This is precisely the question I have had in my ind the last couple of days.

It's actually quite weird, but I have been *clocked* as a woman many times, even though I was presenting as a male and look pretty masculine (being 6'4 and having broad shoulders!). I do have an androgynous face, which might help explain it to some extent, but I really got the feeling that people were looking inside of me and just seeing through this outward male persona. It's hard to describe the feeling that overwhelms me when that happens; it's like 'being found out', and immediately afterwards I feel either vulnerable or sexy ( i guess it depends who's looking! ;-)

I have also been hit on by heterosexual men, and not just the one time. Some even took to calling me by feminine pronouns, which actually I enjoy very much, as it just sorts of feels right.

So yes, it does happen. I totally agree with some of the earlier comments: it's more about who you are than your outward appearance. To be recognized as your true gender, I think you must be in touch with that part of yourself and just go with the flow. Because it is something completely natural.

Peace everyone!

Maelle

[Guest gwenthlian]

Children used to mistake me as a woman, which was neat, but not quite right. Everyone else sees me as male, and tha's just crap. Being truly recognized? I don't entertain any serious expectations.

That's definetly something that's always happened to me, I think children don't stop examining you at the basic social cues like dress and hair because they aren't fully versed in them yet, instead they have to look at all of you. Back when I wasn't full time and in high school I used to volunteer a lot as a classroom assistant in the infants school across the road. The teachers there knew me as a guy and so I dressed pretty androgynously, jeans and a light pastel shade hoodie. Despite being introduced to the class by my male name the kids were constantly calling me a girl. There was this one little girl sat with some of her friends who tugged on my shirt as I went past their table. I knelt down and asked if I could help them with anything and the girl whispered to me, "we all agree, you should stop pretending to be a boy, it's silly"

That SO made my day ^^

As for whether someone being confused about your gender counts if it's raining/snowing/hurricaning etc, take your compliments where you can get them . No matter the visibility, if someone is confused they have noticed something about you that doesn't fit with your current image. Even if that's something tiny it still means you are on your way to where you want to be

[JJ]

Never happened to me - well not since I was 10 years old till awhile after I went full time. Now it's the other way around. Thank you T!

Johnny

[Guest Micha]

the girl whispered to me, "we all agree, you should stop pretending to be a boy, it's silly"

Tha's about 50 shades of awesome.

[Guest Alder]

I can't remember if I shared this or not anymore... so, I'll share it again if I have for new people!

Awhile back I was at the deli counter of the grocery store looking at some meats and wondering what to get for dinner, no binder, no hat... just me and my jacket, and the guy behind the deli came up and says "Can I help you Sir?" ...I squeaked out of "nooooo" and skittered away as fast as I could before he could see the RIDICULOUS grin on my face as I ran circles around the produce area in glee....

More recently, I can't say I was presenting as female, since I just /don't/ anymore... but I still get called miss and such when out by the general populous... I was at the bar singing Karaoke(in my soprano to alto voice) and when I was leaving a woman came up and said "me and my table have been trying to figure out all night if you're a boy or girl." So I answered "boy." Blew her away.... until she asked "what where you born as" which I begrudgingly answered as I have the lack of ability to not answer direct questions. She asked if I was "going through the change" which I said yes to, then she gave me a big hug said I was wonderful and wished me the best of luck on my transitioning ^.^

The /next/ week I went out to the same bar, and a very drunk man asked my friend "whats his name?" about me ..... I'm starting to like this bar~

[Guest gwenthlian]

She asked if I was "going through the change" which I said yes to, then she gave me a big hug said I was wonderful and wished me the best of luck on my transitioning ^.^

It is so nice to meet a random someone who is both supportive and knows a thing or two about your situation. Sometimes you get to thinking that everyone is either unaware or prejudiced but it's far from the case

[Guest Micha]

My feeling on the question "what were you born as?" is that it's rude, but it sounds like she meant to be nice, so cool stuff.

Anyways, you're born as you are, not as what "they" say you should be. As an example, I was not born a boy, just born with a boy's junk.

[Guest Alder]

My feeling on the question "what were you born as?" is that it's rude, but it sounds like she meant to be nice, so cool stuff.

Anyways, you're born as you are, not as what "they" say you should be. As an example, I was not born a boy, just born with a boy's junk.

mhmm If I was easier to offend I would have been sad, but I knew her intent wasn't to offend so I didn't take it as such. If she had been more sober, and the music less loud I would have corrected her in her etiquette.

[Guest Kyosage]

I wish people confused me for a guy more often. >_< It only happened once, when I was volunteering at a hospital in my junior year of high school. This woman was lost and she said, "Sir, can you help me, please?" Needless to say, I was shocked and very happy at the same time. I'm still wondering how she managed to call me "sir." I'm very feminine and it's very hard for me to look masculine. Oh well. I was still happy. =D

[Guest Chrissie29]

This has happenend to me a few times since I grew my hair out. I remember beeing at a friend's b-day party a few months ago and my friends mum came to me and said sth like: "you really have changed alot since I last saw you, I didn't recognize you and thought 'who's this girl?' " Unnecessary to mention how great I felt after this

[Guest Alder]

Well, I can't say today I was presenting as female.... since I never do anymore... though I still very rarely get properly gendered. So it was a fun little thrill today when I was walking out of the female bathroom at the mall(still not brave enough for the male bathrooms) and a woman who was entering saw me, stopped had to double check the sign, look at me again as I kind of skittered away, before entering XD

[Guest -Tori-]

This is something that happens to me all the time!

It started when I was eleven years old and I cut my hair short, of course I suppose at a young age before I really hit puberty its not really that suprising that I was mistaken for a boy. Instead of questioning my gender as people do now, everyone just assumed that I was male, well, until I told them my name! After about three years it stopped, because I grew out my hair and began to dress a lot more 'feminine' I suppose. For a while I tried to like 'girly' clothing, but during the last couple of years I decided to just wear what I am comfortable with instead of trying to force myself into a femine image (Did that make sense?).

Now instead of assuming that I am male/ female I've noticed that now people tend to be slightly more confused and tend to ask me. On a few occasions I have overheard people having discussions with their friends trying to decide which gender I am! I had quite a memerable experience in a public changing room a while ago. As I was about to walk up the stairs to the female changing rooms there were two guys shouting after me saying 'Thats the girls changing rooms!!!'.

I just responded with 'I know', and carried on walking. I hope they didnt think I was a pervert!!!

[Guest Micha]

Oh how sad society is clinging on to old fashioned and out dated standards of segregation. Props Tori for carrying on like it's no big deal.

[Guest Guest_SL]

Oddly enough once I started growing my hair out I was thought of as a female more and more. Once I was coming out of the men's room and a rather rude male was entering. He told me I could never be a guy (rather forcefully actually). I said he was right and went on with my day.

April

I had recalled something that happened many years ago. The memory was jogged by another members post but not directly related so the recollection came as a bit of a, "Whoa! How could I have forgotten that?" I was trying to think of a place to post the incident while getting it straight in my mind and I stumbled over this topic.

During my first term of military service, at my last duty station (Early 1970's SF Bay area.) I had a lot of friends on that station but three in particular, and we got to be known as D&D/M&M because of our first names. We went about everywhere together, concerts, movies, just in town. At that time, I was letting my hair grow long while hiding it from our command so I wouldn't be made to get it cut. It was easy to do because of my job and we were a working unit and never had personnel inspections.

One night after spending some time in town we came back and one guy had his own room and we were sitting there, drinking some beer and another past time activity we all favored. The room was only lit by a black light and we had music on and were just chilling. I was sitting on the floor and one pal was behind me on a bed and for some reason he took his comb and started to comb my hair, parting it down the middle. I guess he just wanted to see how long it had grown. The more he combed, the more if fell into shape and it was a lot longer than even I had realized. The other two guys were sitting across from us and the guy combing says, "Hey! Does he look like a hippie?" Almost at the exact time the other two guys said, "Man, he looks like a girl!" I was stunned because I had buried my last gender crisis about 6 years earlier. They made me go to a mirror and kept messing with my hair trying to make me look more like a girl. Now, they're thinking this is a big joke and more of a way to needle me and I'm thinking, "Oh my gosh! I do! I look like a girl!" Shortly after I was transferred and at the airport I was stopped by the military police and made to go the barber shop in the airport and get my hair cut very short.

And I had forgotten all about that incident until two days ago. Odd.

Sara Lee

[Guest Micha]

Wow Sara, that was kind of a sweet story. I mean, I'm just trying to picture this military dude just combing your hair, warms me up a little bit.

[Guest Guest_SL]

Wow Sara, that was kind of a sweet story. I mean, I'm just trying to picture this military dude just combing your hair, warms me up a little bit.

We four were all close friends and the military forces people to depend on each other more than anyone else in their lives. It's a matter of survival in the most literal sense of the word. But why he started combing my hair, I'll never know. He was engaged to a beautiful gal and we were all straight males, for intents and purposes and I had suppressed my yearning to be female for so very long. Just something I had forgotten about and had times been different, my life would have been different as well, but we can change our lives each day and often do without knowing.

Sara Lee

[Guest -Tori-]

Sorry to double post, but this is an issue which has begun to really follow me like the plague recently!

Firstly, for me personally, I dont mind people refering to me as male or female, because I answer to both. What I do find slightly embarassing, is when people turn it into a big deal- for instance if I am with a friend and someone calls me Sir, I hate it when the friend corrects them, because I think that sometimes, it doesnt matter! Anyway, during the last couple of days-

To cut a long story short, a teacher asked me for my name, and he couldnt seem to grasp what I was telling him. My name is Victoria, and as you can probably guess already, this caused a lot of confusion for the poor man. The conversation went something a little like this-

'Call me Vicky.' 'Ricky?' 'Vicky.' 'Vic?' 'VICKY.' 'Ricky.' 'V-I-C-K-Y.' And he replied rather bluntly 'Oh, your a girl. Of course you are....'

Usually this kind of thing wouldnt bother me, but I think his tone was quite rude. I almost regret not saying anything, but of course sometimes it is best to say nothing at all.

Yesterday, I was out shopping, and made a trip to the bathroom. There was a young child with her mother that said, 'Mummy, why is he using the girls bathroom?'.

Today when I was walking home, a few lads were making comments at me, shouting, 'What are you, a boy or a girl? I cant tell! Errr, your not both are you?' I just carried on walking, and ignored them

One week ago, walking down a corridor when someone says, 'Why is he wearing a girls blouse?'

And finally, a few days ago also, my sister was asked how her twin brother was doing. She doesnt have a brother- just me

I have come to the conclusion that I must be giving off a masculine vibe lately!