Introduce Yourselves

[Guest Micha]

Hiyas Chimetals and welcome! Hopefuly your time here will help you discover what you want for yourself! The cool thing about experience is that you can stop "transitioning" at whatever point you feel is right for you. There is no "all the way," there's only your way.

Here's to doing it your way!

[Guest Juniper Blue]

I double that Micha!

[Guest Roux]

Hey there, newcomers! It makes me kind of irrationally happy to see more androgyne-ish people around. =)

Having given this a lot of thought, and having reached out for support from many people who understand gender issues, I feel that this is probably the best place for me to be on this forum for the time being, so I may as well introduce myself!

Good to hear that you already have a knowledgeable support system in place.

Your coming out story sounds really familiar. I kind of felt that by coming out I had to act on the announcement, too, and it took me a while to figure out that I didn't have to do that--and that I kind of didn't want to transition much anyway.

Congrats on reaching a place that feels comfortable and liberating!

I guess the fact that my first name is a unisex name sort of helped to entrench the confusion inside of me ;-)

Jealous of your unisex name--wish I'd been that lucky!

Glad you found Laura's, and I hope you get what you're looking for here. =)

im still working on the confusion of gender for me, but here i go anyway

Pretty much everything you said resonated with me. Fingers crossed that your coming out goes remarkably well! There's a lot of advice and ideas floating around here for coming out to family, if you feel you might want it. And be sure to let us know how it goes when it happens.

[Guest Luna Selene]

Hello everyone,

I'm relatively new to both the site and the idea (Well, I guess not really the Idea, I've always had it, just not a name for it.) and I figured I may as well introduce myself. I'm 22 year old male born, I played with the idea of transgender for a while, but it all seemed too extreme. After a considerable amount of research, (slightly disappointed at how little is covered.) I have realized that the very middle-ground where I stood was exactly where I should be. Luna is not my name, but I chose it because I feel highly connected to the moon. (Luna being latin for moon, and Selene being a goddess of it.) So yes, my name is Moon Moon. I have started writing a blog here to try and get myself to analyze myself as much as possible. It's mainly stream of conscious writing so it's fairly long and windy, but I do make a great effort to stay on topic. I have read a few of your blogs, and I like what many of you have to say. I'm still trying to figure life out so i'm hoping by introducing myself to y'all we can open a good dialogue for not only you and I, but for the rest of the world.

Thank you and goodnight.

_Luna

[Guest Micha]

Brilliant! I look forward to getting to know you and reading more of what you have to say.

[Guest Abner]

I'm Abner. The name isn't final, but none of my names are.

I only call myself an androgyne to give people a simple reference point. But if gender identity were a triangle between male, female, and a third gender, I'd be just about in the middle of the male/female side of things with a bias towards male and a slight inclination towards a third gender.

I present as masculine, and I end up looking androgynous anyway, which is cool by me. I'm more worried about my future than my appearance, since the statistics for rape, harrassment assault, and attempted suicide of transgender people are so high in particular.

It annoys me how society puts so much emphasis on what is 'for men' or 'for women', and how it creates prescribed roles for them based on extremely broad categories, then provides no positive influences for people of other gender identities. It also annoys me how most people buy into this system and then try to explain why it's the only way to do things. It annoys me even more when I'm accidentally one of those people.

I have a bunch of mental issues, but whenever I go to a therapist all they do is mirror back to me everything I say, while squinting at me with their head lowered as though all they care about is why the heck I'm so weird.

I try to be an activist like raising awareness of transgender people on omegle, but I don't always have the energy. I aspire to be a webcomic artist(/writer?) and I figure it would be easier since there would be a lower concentration of people making a big deal about my genitals.

I like wearing sweaters.

[Guest Kyosage]

Hello everyone! Nice to meet you all. I go by Kyo. I have been having gender issues for such a long time now and I figured it would help if I were around people who were going through similar situations. I'm biologically female but I don't feel like a girl; I don't feel like a boy. I feel like I'm a combination of the two. Unfortunately, many people don't see me like that. =/ I once had a teacher who said, in response to me telling him I don't feel like a girl, "What does it mean to be a girl?" I couldn't answer his question and I knew he was on to something.

You can use female/male/gender neutral pronouns with me...But I would prefer gender neutral pronouns, such as K or Kir. =)

Other than that, I'm just a quiet nerd who enjoys reading novels and manga, going to anime cons, and cosplaying. I'm a sophomore in college, majoring in psychology and planning to minor in music performance. I lead a pretty normal (boring) life. But sometimes I'd like to believe that my boring life will someday turn into an adventurous one. =)

[Guest Micha]

Hiya Abner and Kyo (Kyo-kun! Sorry. . . Fruba thing. . .), welcome to the Playground. Totally dig your posts, a lot of what both of you said resonates in harmony with my own ideals.

It annoys me how society puts so much emphasis on what is 'for men' or 'for women', and how it creates prescribed roles for them based on extremely broad categories, then provides no positive influences for people of other gender identities. It also annoys me how most people buy into this system and then try to explain why it's the only way to do things.

I know, right!

I do it too, and I have to catch myself. It's old conditioning, bad hobits, etc.

[Guest Lacey Lynne]

Tifa, Doll, Chris and Carrie,Lioness, Maelle, WELCOME !!! Wow ... how did I miss all these new intorductions ... but WELCOME! Sorry for the late response ... what a a pleasant surpirse!

Hugs,

JB

Agree with Juniper Blue ... WELCOME!!!

Me? Just the resident Laura's Playground Hippie. Gynogirl? Androguy? Freakazoid? ALL OF THE ABOVE, AND THAT'S ME!

I'm now 2 years and 1 month on HRT (male-to-female) but basically present as an androgyne? Why? Because, it's a hoot, and I love to!

Peace Lacey

Postscript:

That avatar picture is me at 11 months on HRT but only 4 months on full-strength HRT at that point. So, why do I keep it? Branding! Would McDonald's do away with the golden arches? No way!

[Guest Kyosage]

Hiya Abner and Kyo (Kyo-kun! Sorry. . . Fruba thing. . .), welcome to the Playground. Totally dig your posts, a lot of what both of you said resonates in harmony with my own ideals.

Ha! No need to apologize! I get that a lot. xD Nice to meet you!

[Guest Micha]

[Guest weather_rhythm]

hi there. my name will remain anonymous, but you may refer to me as the entirety or any portion of my screenname. i will most often sign off as "k." i am a female born person, in a relationship with a male born androgyne (though we are currently undergoing heated debate as to whether that word defines him/us), which is what led me to these forums. i stumbled upon Laura's Playground as a caring SO, hoping to make more sense of my lover's coming out. this was only a few weeks ago, but the conversations we have had since have also led me to probe into my past and examine my own gender-bending tendencies. as i posted over in another forum, these revelations stem back to early childhood. i never saw my tomboyish tendencies as anything other than what my mother assigned them--trying to be the opposite of her, a verrrry insecure woman, who wanted nothing less than a princess as her first born.

but upon closer inspection, there might be something to this. i still don't know. i have trained myself to ignore the impulse to shop for what i want to wear and instead go for what is both comfortable and in the women's section. i actually think i was bolder as an adolescent...wore men's shorts, dickies, cons and band tshirts most of the time when i wasn't being a loner jock. i longingly wish to look more masculine at times, but have always feared being seen as a lesbian. this is not a vain fear, i actually was assumed to be one by co-workers in college. but why did i fear it? i wanted to look how i looked. i actively chose it and when i left the dorm i liked how i looked. it was when other people looked at me with, well, it was when other people looked at me that i grew self-conscious. i knew how i looked. i did it anyway. but it was me. boyish, and really into my music. i couldn't stop being me, but i couldn't stop their presumptions.

i believe i have been anxious about how i presented my gender since a young age. what i was told i should wear versus what i wanted to wear versus what was a reasonable compromise. then it was what i dared to wear knowing that i might be seen as something i knew i wasn't. i knew i liked men all my life. i just wanted to look like a tougher female, like nothing could hurt me. i wanted to look masculine cuz i associated strength and confidence with maleness (i know, i know). when your mother cries at the drop of a hat and at every hallmark commercial, it's hard not to let eyes roll. it wasn't until after my (west coast liberal) college career that i discovered that women can be badass too! i had been so focused on making the parentals proud of me and my degree that i didn't actually turn my gaze inward.

so, several years later, here i am. questioning. finally at a place where i have the courage to look deeper. i hope to find some friends, some support, and maybe help some other folks. cheers,

-k

[Guest Micha]

Friends. . . check.

Support. . . check.

Community. . . check.

Think we can do all that.

Welcome Rhythm! I like your name, very much.

Funny thing clothes, we pick and wear what we like cuz we like it and all of a sudden we're a million different things at once - all for nosey judgements. People. . .

Well here's to you and your journey.

[Guest Alder]

Welcome Rhythm! I can identify with a lot of your adolecent experience aside from the over sensitive mother, my mother was a 'tough gal' so I assumed much of my personality was from that.... she still liked being girly though, where as I....was 'goth' and well, any gender wears make-up nad hair however with that sub-culture. I sidetrack though, my apologies.

I hope you find the guidance and supports you're hoping for here!

[Guest Chrysee]

Having given this a lot of thought, and having reached out for support from many people who understand gender issues, I feel that this is probably the best place for me to be on this forum for the time being, so I may as well introduce myself!

My given name is Tommy, and while I go by a few other names/nicknames, I take no real issue with my given name. I feel as though, if I were a child being born today but otherwise being the same as I am now, I would probably be put on one of those puberty stopping drugs and be given estrogen in order to smoothly transition from a young age as is becoming more and more common. However, obviously I can't go back in time and change the date of my birth, or do anything else to make this situation reality, so it's kind of a moot point, but I feel it's important to know that to understand where I'm at now. I am somewhat conflicted person, from a young age I was always just a bit more into girl things than boy things. Not profoundly so; I didn't try to wear dresses or anything so blatant, but I collected stuffed animals more than action figures and other little things. When I got a little older I spent a little bit of time where I thought I must be gay for lack of understanding how I could be so feminine and yet be male, but this passed.

As I got older it became more and more confusing. On the one hand I was technically male and was mostly attracted to females, but on the other hand I looked and acted very feminine. It began to feel like I was fighting a war between the two parts of who I was, the masculine and the feminine. This (among some other issues) lead to some pretty hard times. Eventually I started to meet trans people, and began to realize that their stories described mine. Finally, this year, I came out to my close friends as being transgender. Like every other part of my story, this was a conflicting thing as well. I felt some relief, yes, but I also felt as though I was supposed to act on this announcement in some way.

The further I get away from that initial announcement, the more I realize that, for so many reasons, I can't see myself actually transitioning from male to female, which I thought, upon coming. The cost, the toll on my body, fear of the results, fear of trying to live as a female, all of these things trouble me, but more than anything I'm worried that if I went full female I might miss parts of the masculine. After much support and soul-searching I have come to a happy compromise with androgyny. By being open and honest about who I am with more people, especially lovers, I've been giving myself the freedom to do more of the things I WANT to do, such as wearing clothing of either gender (even mixing and matching), wearing makeup, acting in a way that displays aspects of both genders, and even doing my hair in ways that blur the gender boundary.

My journey is far from over, but I'm very happy being androgynous now that I'm actually openly being that instead of denying these aspects of myself. I feel like being "genderless" (which would really be my goal) is starting to appeal to me more than being either gender, and so it's with that in mind that I say that this is where I belong for now.

I've noticed from reading most of the posts in this thread, that some people seem to do things like this so I will do one as well:

Mentally/Emotionally I feel:

about 70% female/30% male

Physically I look:

I think about 60% male, 40% female, though that may be giving myself a bit much credit towards female...I do get ma'amed a lot though and when I doll up a bit I even get hit on by guys occasionally!

Physically I want to look:

I think, at this point, 50%-60% female, the rest male

Dear God you sound like me in so many ways! I'm 'over fifty' and only came out like, what?, a year and a half ago? Two years, maybe, after a confusing youth. Like you, I was confused about the difference between sexuality and gender. I was once with another man (a boy, actually, as we were 13 years old.) And to this day, I will once in a while have my head turned by another male (see transgender fashion model Andrej Pejic who, sadly, is far too young for me. As if.) Shortly after I arrived here, I figured that I was a transgendered male bodied soul seeking to be a trans woman. Period. But over time, I felt this would be no more gratifying than walking away and remaining the same lost trans male. Just about the time I began to drown in renewed confusion, several friends (and one daughter) pointed out my androgyny. Mercifully, at that time, Laura's was kicking off the androgyne forum.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Now there is a thread there discussing whether or not male bodied andros dress in drag. I do, and love it (see my Gallery). I love make-up (lipstick must match my goatee, though.)

Lastly--and perhaps you mentioned this and I did not see it, or someone may have already mentioned it, but, are you seeing a Gender Therapist? Just talking things out with someone who, due to training and perhaps their own personal experience, understands, is truly uplifting.

That's my experience, anyway.

Hope to see you around.

Cissy Sartorious

[Guest Petrichor]

Hello.

I'll give a quick introduction to myself and my circumstances. I was born male in the UK and I am now 25. I was mostly confused with my gender identity when growing up from what I remember, and wondered if I were gay. I did work out I weren't, mostly from watching my younger brother. He was gay (we're from a quite large family) and didn't know it back then. I remember carefully deleting his Internet history when he used the family computer to make sure our parents never found out he was looking into gay support forum and such.

Nevertheless, after a bit I noticed that I associated with the girls and didn't enjoy time with the guys as much. I would go through the motions but that was it. I then started trying to look at myself and I then noticed that I couldn't mentally see myself as male in my own head. I freaked out at myself a bit and just put a lock on it. After a while (maybe about five years) I decided to see myself as androgyne, at least in my own mind.

I've joined this forum for someone to chat with. You may think of me as a hermit for saying this but I have never told anybody about seeing myself like this, on the Internet or in the real world. I would like to think that my friends wouldn't guess I was gay, let alone this.

Still I wanted to change that because I find the downers bad enough that I am finding it effects my work, so having someone to talk to would be nice. Even if they are on the other side of the world.

As the Japanese say, I'll be nice to you so please be nice to me...

[MaryEllen]

Hello Petrichor,

Welcome to the forums. Thank you for sharing with us.

MaryEllen

[Guest Petrichor]

Kinda felt weird typing that to be honest. thanks for the reply.

[Guest Juniper Blue]

Welcome Petrichor!

[Guest Juniper Blue]

Pretichor,

I tried to PM but you need to make more posts before you can PM. Once you make the needed post you can PM me anytime if you need support. I check in here at LP about once per week and woudl be hapy to correspond with you.

Best to you,

JB

[Guest Petrichor]

Thank you Juniper. If I feel a need to chat with you I will. I think I'll just read and post a bit for now, and try and fit in here.

[Guest Micha]

Hi hi and welcome Petrichor, I hope you find the conversations here to be helpful, make a few friends and enjoy yourself.

[Guest Petrichor]

Thanks Micha, these forums are a bit quiet I noticed, but it is interesting.

[Guest Micha]

Tha's how I found em, but they pick up from time to time. Last few months been more active then I remember them bein before, then they slowed WAY down.

[Guest Zandrogynous]

Hello everyone,

I am fairly new here. I don't feel comfortable sharing too much of my personal information, but you may call me Zandra. I've struggled with my gender identity for some time now, but I have come to accept myself as androgynous. For me, being an androgene is a non- label. It means I don't identify as either male or female. Its agreat freedom to be able to express myself without having to conform to societies "norms". Having said that, I still find myself suppressinjg much of my personality, especially my femininity, sine everyone considers me a guy, since I was born a biological male.

Well, that's me in a nutshell. I look forward to talking with and getting to know you all better!

-Zandra