Introduce Yourselves

[Guest Micha]

I can relate. Always seen as male, so then the "weird" or "quirky" things I do get me odd looks, and often labelled as gay or a pansy DONKEY. Kinda learned to blow people off.

Identity is not how you look, it's who you are.

Hellos and welcome!

[Guest Refusing to choose]

Hey everyone, I'm new here. I'm 23 years old and don't identify as either male or female. I present as 'other' where possible, though I'm obviously female in body, I always wear mens clothing. I'm currently living with my partner who is FTM. They are currently going further towards the male appearance recently, and I found I was jealous of their options and the perception society has around straight forward FTM/MTF compared to how they view someone who is obviously neither. I'm still getting to grips with who I am really, and thought I'd look for a forum to share views and ideas with, and maybe find other people going through similar experiences.

Oh and I'm sure you know, but one thing I found out recently when I changed my name legally by deed poll, there is the option for a gender neutral official title of Mix (Mx) instead of Ms, Mr, etc. I opted for it, and though only a few places accept it, it means I have the choice of choosing either Mr or Ms depending on how I'm feeling that day. (Of course if I'm not feeling either masculine nor feminine I usually demand they use Mx or no title at all.)

[JJ]

Welcome to Laura's! You've found a great place to be yourself and explore your feelings. We do have quite a few members who identify as you do. It is enormously challenging at times I'm sure. Hopefully some will also be along to welcome you but those of us who are more binary also benefit from your perspectives and observations. one of the great things about this community is that we all share and support regardless of where someone is on the spectrum.

We will be happy to share our opinions and experiences with you. Please feel free to post as much as you want in any forum whether asking questions, expressing opinions or sharing experiences. We are a PG-13 moderated site. You will have access to the PM system and profiles after 5 posts.

If you have not already done so, please read the "Terms and Conditions" page, the link to it can be found near the lower right of most any Forum page. Due to the special nature of Laura's it isn't the standard T & C but something you really need to read to make it easier for everyone. Thanks.

I enjoyed your introduction and look forward to your posts!

Johnny

[Guest Micha]

Hey everyone, I'm new here. I'm 23 years old and don't identify as either male or female. I present as 'other' where possible, though I'm obviously female in body, I always wear mens clothing. I'm currently living with my partner who is FTM. They are currently going further towards the male appearance recently, and I found I was jealous of their options and the perception society has around straight forward FTM/MTF compared to how they view someone who is obviously neither. I'm still getting to grips with who I am really, and thought I'd look for a forum to share views and ideas with, and maybe find other people going through similar experiences.

Oh and I'm sure you know, but one thing I found out recently when I changed my name legally by deed poll, there is the option for a gender neutral official title of Mix (Mx) instead of Ms, Mr, etc. I opted for it, and though only a few places accept it, it means I have the choice of choosing either Mr or Ms depending on how I'm feeling that day. (Of course if I'm not feeling either masculine nor feminine I usually demand they use Mx or no title at all.)

Hiyas and welcome, looking forward to reading more of your posts.

I just heard of the new title Mx on the khaos komix facebook page. Got mixed (eh. . . no puns) feelings on it. It's nice to have something other than he/she recognized, so I'll take that over complete dismissal. Still would like to see society get over being hung up on how much gender matters to how people are treated or how qualified they are. I would prefer no boxes at all, but I'm not bashing any attempt to move beyond a binary system.

[Guest Refusing to choose]

Hi thanks for the welcome. I've got a few thoughts but can't seem to word them right now, so I'll be back when I can and reply properly to the titles comment

[Guest Refusing to choose]

I agree boxes are kind of restricting, and I hate that society wants to choose a gender for everyone and treat people according to that gender. It's something which is getting me down quite a bit atm if I'm honest.

[Guest endlessummer]

Hi everybody!

I'm 30 years old and born female, but I have never felt I was really a girl or ever becoming a woman. Until puberty it worked out, from then on only problems...I just blocked it all and never talked with anybody about hating my body and never having any experiences. So it all mounted inside me and I had several depressions and things, today I'm doing therapy, and finally actively thinking about my gender and self.

I don't know what I am, but right now androgyne kind of fits. Rather feeling like a kid/boy when I think of myself, and my looks are definitely more male than female. Sometimes being called "young man" makes me incredibly mad, sometimes I find it funny.

So after some reading I decided to register :-)

<<endlessummer>>

[Guest Micha]

Welcome Endlesssummer! I wish you the best success in your journey of self discovery, and I hope you find help, support and maybe even some answers here!

[Guest endlessummer]

Thanks for the welcome! :-)

[Guest agfrommd]

Hi all.

I am a middle-aged male-born androgyne. I’m very new to this revelation. I’ve always known I had gender issues but I ignored them because I didn’t know anything about androgyny. I thought I either had to be MtF or cis-gendered, that there was nothing in between.

My main issues are social. Though I’m male in most characteristics, appearance, approach to life, temperament, etc., I’m very female in the types of relationships I prefer. I feel uncomfortable around men – they seem strange to me – whereas I’m quite comfortable around women. I tend to want supportive friendships that share confidences and allow us to speak about our vulnerabilities, feelings, feels, hopes, etc. There have been many awkward moments as I’ve discovered few men seem to want that type of friendship.

As I’ve started looking at my life and why I do not have many friends, I’ve had to start facing my gender issues. I don’t feel the need to change my appearance. I don’t care too much what I look like (one of the male parts of my character) and I’ve lost too much hair to pass as female or even androgynous, anyway. I’m toying with the idea of feminizing my appearance slightly – maybe with a piece of jewelry – so that I don’t look like a typical male.

I’m looking forward to learning more from this forum.

[Guest Micha]

Agfrommd, it is very uncanny how much you've just described how I feel.

Gender can be split between identity (as in how you feel) and expression (how you look, present yourself and act.) I don't look anything but male (though I do desire that to change, it's not likely), I typically dress in pants and t-shirts, and I rarely wear make-up (cosmetics are a huge rip off, and I truly wish women would stand strong and say "we don't need your enhancers and we won't be conned any longer!" - so in that respect, I try myself to accept my appearance without makeup).

I feel the most important aspect of gender is not how you look, but in how you identify, how your ideals and beliefs about gender affect who you are, you're self. It seems less an issue of gender, and more a launching point of self discovery.

Anyways, kind of went off. . . happens though.

Welcome to the playground, and I look forward very much to hearing more from you!

[Guest clearleeraines]

Hello everyone, My name is Clear Lee Raines I am new here, but not new. I want to thank Y'allfor havin such a AWSOMELY AWSOME place here i hope to be here and help as much as possable, as I need help too. I have much experince in substance abuse recovery however, I have NO experince being what I truly am, or living this way and @ 48 yrs It is shall we say very intimadating at the very least. I am a survivior of childhood rape, substance abuse, and my former self. I am free and home now. I am androgynous without a doubt i float on the fem side and bio male. When you find me in fourms or chat in recovery rooms sex abuse or substance i am there to help that means i am having a good day ;}. When i am in chat or fourms for gender prolly not a my best day i may need advice or just some kind words. AGAIN THIS PLACE ROCKS ! Peace Clear

[Guest Micha]

Clear Lee Raines,

Nice to meet you!

[Guest aleon515]

Hi,

I followed agfrommd over here. I am also, well older and just found out about this not too long ago. I can recall things from my early childhood that sound like gender identity disorder. I have read a lot, and joined several forums. Have been lurking around for awhile.

I have done things to look a little more like the male side of me (though I think that might be quite a simplistic way of viewing things). There would be no way I could pass, and not sure I would want to anyway. But I have succeeded at least once in making people do a bit of a double take while they figured out they should say ma'am. (WRONG!) It was a very happy feeling I had doing this.

(I see there is another....

--Jay Jay

[Guest Micha]

Hiya Jay Jay, and welcome!

[Guest agfrommd]

Hi,

I followed agfrommd over here. I am also, well older and just found out about this not too long ago. I can recall things from my early childhood that sound like gender identity disorder. I have read a lot, and joined several forums. Have been lurking around for awhile.

I have done things to look a little more like the male side of me (though I think that might be quite a simplistic way of viewing things). There would be no way I could pass, and not sure I would want to anyway. But I have succeeded at least once in making people do a bit of a double take while they figured out they should say ma'am. (WRONG!) It was a very happy feeling I had doing this.

(I see there is another....

--Jay Jay

It's like traveling to a foreign country and randomly seeing a friend from home walking down the street. (And Jay Jay, I DO consider you a friend!)

But I thought I followed you here. I thought I first heard of Laura's from one of your posts. Maybe memory playing tricks on me.

Anyway, welcome. Not as active a site but the people here have been very friendly and welcoming in the week or so I've been posting here.

[Guest aleon515]

Hi,

I followed agfrommd over here. I am also, well older and just found out about this not too long ago. I can recall things from my early childhood that sound like gender identity disorder. I have read a lot, and joined several forums. Have been lurking around for awhile.

I have done things to look a little more like the male side of me (though I think that might be quite a simplistic way of viewing things). There would be no way I could pass, and not sure I would want to anyway. But I have succeeded at least once in making people do a bit of a double take while they figured out they should say ma'am. (WRONG!) It was a very happy feeling I had doing this.

(I see there is another....

--Jay Jay

It's like traveling to a foreign country and randomly seeing a friend from home walking down the street. (And Jay Jay, I DO consider you a friend!)

But I thought I followed you here. I thought I first heard of Laura's from one of your posts. Maybe memory playing tricks on me.

Anyway, welcome. Not as active a site but the people here have been very friendly and welcoming in the week or so I've been posting here.

That's a pretty interesting image! (Of walking along in a foreign country. No, you are not imagining things. I did mention Laura's early on. I was reading both forums. Just joined Susan's first. I think the "Playground" part bothered me a bit, to be honest.

--Jay Jay

[Guest maverick]

I am maverick aka trystan( my neutural name that i would like to be taking some time soon). i have always felt overly masculine, always had a deeper voice and more muscle than most boys when i was growing up. i had biceps when i was 8 and could lift 150 pounds. not only was i strong but my hands a feet were bigger than anyone elses at the time, and my voice sounded the same as it does now deep for a woman. the things i wish now are smaller breasts since they grew to a size d after my mother stuck me on bi polar meds thinking that my masculinity issues were do to a psychological disorder and i gained weight causing my thighs and butt and breasts to grow were a woman would gain weight. i actually do not have hips, my spine is rigid like a mans and my pelvis unnaturally narrow for a woman making it look like a mans and me straight waisted. now i just want to lose the weight after taking a year to get off those crappy pills. i moved away from my mom and found a loving husband who appreciates my androgyny and thinks it sexy. i finally feel comfortable enough to get my muscles back and get ripped. i dont need T since gaining muscle easuily runs in my birth family (i was also adopted) and i have a deep voice and somewhat boysih looks by nature...the thing is im not sure my breasts will go back to being as almost non exsistant as they were. id like to almost be able to go shirtless like a man and dont know if i need surgery or T for this...some answers would be appreciated...id like to have an outwardly male apprearence but one that even though i am flatchested i could still be sexy for my mate and leave my parts below alone..i am actually comfortable with those...

let me know what you think

-maverick

[Guest agfrommd]

Welcome Trystan,

I'm no expert (not even female bodied) but I know that it's possible to have breasts surgically removed or reduced. How far they can reduce them depends on a lot of things, so you'd have to ask a surgeon whether that would give you what you'd need. I've heard female bodied androgynes talk about how top surgery made things better for them.

Probably good to discuss this with husband.

Good luck.

[Guest Micha]

Definitely a realistic possibility.

Welcome to the boards Trystan! That is so cool you have a loving partner who celebrates your extraordinary identity. Props to the both of you!

I don't really know of any way to reduce or remove breasts without surgery, especially a D cup, but never having had breasts myself I can't say I've really looked into it. If you can't get info on the androgyne boards, ask the guys - http://www.lauras-playground.com/forums/index.php?showforum=17

Good luck to you and may your search for info be a success!

[JenniferB]

Hi Trystan. and Welcome to Laura's Playground

I was just reading about "Polycystic Ovary Syndrome" (PCOS) just this last week. It's an endocrine disorder where the ovaries creates excessive androgens. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polycystic_ovary_syndrome .

I'm not sure this is what you have, but you might want to look into it, it could affect your fertility,

Unfortunately taking T will not get rid of your breasts. They may shrink a little, but if you are wearing a D Cup now, they will still show. Surgery would be the only way to have them removed or reduced. My female friend at work had her large breasts reduced from a DD to a C Cup.

Love,

Jenny

[Guest maverick]

no i dont have polycystic ovary sydrome...i just have excessive testosterone. doctors say im fine. my fetility is ok. i have paps every year and everything is normal as usual. i feel lucky i have more T than most, it give me the results iwant without having to take T to begin with. it looks like reduction surgery is wha ill most likely look into. thanks for all the fantastic support!!, and thank you guys for caring

[Guest rbulova]

I'm an adult male in my 60s, retired, divorced with two adult children. I haven't seen my exact concerns here, but this site is about as close as I think I'll ever get and hope that there'll be some replies.

Basically, I don't see myself as an adult male, but more as a prepubescent kid. Since I was in my late teens, I would be pulling out or shaving my pubic hair. For a long time, I exhibited signs of trichotillomania, spending hours just plucking out my pubic hairs until I looked like a boy again. In my 20s, I began wearing only boys undies again. XL fit me just fine then. Now, as age and gravity have made wearing them difficult, I've been wearing women's panties and androgynous-appearing women's clothes. Bottoms and tops are distinguished mostly by buttons and zippers being on the left. Ambivalent about being a woman, just that I don't want to be an adult male. Curiously, my panties are the old-fashioned full cotton briefs, not the modern styles.

Asperger's Syndrome probably describes me best. Always been somewhat of a loner and while not rejected by other males, never accepted as one of the fellows. I had a rough childhood, and I think my emotional maturity must have stalled at around 12 years old. I find myself looking at boys (and sometimes girls) in the 10-12 year age range and wishing I could be like them. But there is absolutely NO sexual attraction towards kids, just a longing, an enviousness and wishing I could have had loving and caring parents too.

Sexually, I am attracted to women, and admire their features, especially ones with slim hips and small breasts. I also find myself seeking males to offer my body for sex, either for their oral or anal pleasures. But I don't feel that I'm really gay as there's no real attraction there for me, and any kissing or caressing is a real turn-off.. Somehow it seems to make up, in just a small way, for my poor social skills to obtain another adult male's attention.

[Guest Micha]

Hello then and welcome! Here's hoping you find something here that you are looking for, and perhaps more in the form of friends and community.

[Guest solagratia]

hi i'm michael and i just want to introduce myself i'm looking forward to reading what others write here and to get to meet people.