Introduce Yourselves

[Guest angels wings]

Hello Michael Welcome to Laura's

There is an introduction forum were you can make another small intro . This allows other members to see you are new and welcome you also. We ask all our members to please read the terms and conditions . You can find these n the bottom right of any page . Relax and enjoy , I'm sure you will meet alot of wonderful people here .

Angel

[Guest solagratia]

thank u

[Guest Micha]

Welcome welcome, hope you're not disappointed!

[Guest solagratia]

thank you, micha

[Guest Raell]

I qualify for bigender under the alternating gender sub-label as described in this article

http://neuroskeptic.blogspot.com/2012/04/bigender-boy-today-girl-tomorrow.html

I am a pretty bio female born "knowing" I am male. I am bold, athletic, fearless overall, but have a feminine side as well. I switch between the two genders and when in "male mode" I think and react like a male, even am attracted to women, but in "female mode" I am attracted only to males, and want a big strong male to come "rescue" and spoil me. Overall, though, my behavior is masculine, even in female mode. In male mode, I'm gender dysphoric and become confused when I look in the mirror and see a female face.

[Guest Raell]

I relate to most of the posts here. I am a 60 year old bio female, but have always been a tomboy, and thought of myself as male, even as I married men and tried to live as a female. It's easier for transsexual and androgyne females since masculine behavior and dress is accepted, but I always felt like a failure as woman, and socialized with women as little as possible. I hung with males by default, or ran around following my hobbies and outdoor activities on my own. My marriages kept failing and I now realize the men saw me as a rival. I moved to Thailad to teach in 2010, where Buddhism allows any type of gender expression by either gender without social stigma. I love it here, but when I finally realized I am androgynous, I began trying to sort out what I am, and what sort of person I should look for in a partner.

Once I let my male side express I found that he had a separate personality from my "female side," so I try to give both sides equal time. My female side likes to read, swing dance, do bird photography, likes very masculine men, is very dyslexic, a perfectionist, critical, anti-social and snarky. My male side is calm, sociable, gets along with anyone, is playful and matter-of-fact, able to solve problems calmly, likes to build new inventions, so I often default to him, even though he's a workaholic. Sometimes both sides seem to work together, but the male side embarrassed me because he likes women and turns to look at them when in that mode. I suppose I would do best with a feminine male who wouldn't compete with my male side, but both sides of me are very active and outdoor.

[Guest Raell]

I noticed the sidebar doesn't make it clear that I'm from the US. I was raised in Haiti, by American parents, and flew back and forth until I entered college in the US in 1970. I have lived in CA, IA, Colorado, IN, and 28 years in Kentucky, taught one semester in Haiti, and came to Thailand in 2010 to teach. I am currently in the south of Thailand and enjoy the beaches, birds, and culture here that allows free gender expression. Even though I present as female the Thai correctly use the Thai male pronoun for me, since they are accustomed to people with mixed presentation/gender identities. A part of me is female enough to enjoy beautiful handmade jewelry and Thai clothes, but my behavior is very male..jaunty swagger, bold gaze, attitude like I own the world, although I look like a delicate female. I tear around Nakhon on my cycle and go birding in swamps, but I do socialize with the other 3 foreign teachers at my school occasionally when we attend festivals together. I keep hoping I will gain more understanding of my own gender issues, so I can work with myself instead of suppressing non gender-conforming tendencies.

[Guest Raell]

I just went to Alder's website and enjoyed the photos and art! My daughter is a full-time artist in Kentucky and I have illustrated one children's book and used to do portraits for money, but now mostly do bird photography. Here's a link to my online photo album, but it's mostly birds, animals, and Thailand scenery. Before 2010 it shows photos from Kentucky; my horses, mule, dogs, parrot, etc.

http://picasaweb.google.com/home

Androgynous people are the high IQ creative types, according to this article:

http://blogs.psychcentral.com/creative-mind/2011/02/the-complexity-of-the-creative-personality/

[Guest Raell]

I love the term "gender blind." I look like a pretty girl, but apparently don't fool anyone since straight girls hit on me and a woman grabbed my rump tonight. I hang with both genders but when with women I keep opening doors, carrying their packages, am super polite, and do whatever they want, so I'm like a male with them. I don't know my sexual orientation, but would be happy to hang with anyone of any gender or gender blend who enjoys my company and what I enjoy doing. I feel comfortable with men, though, and treat them like pals, although they usually can't keep up with me. Yet a part of me..I think about 40%, is feminine. But male ways and traits predominate.

[Guest endthesilence]

Hi all. I am 29 y/o trans andro person. I spent ten years on hormones started ERT when I was 17. I lived 'full time' for most of those ten years. Now at 29 for the past 3 to 4 years I've been off hormones and cut my hair. (My hair was past the middle of my back... super cute:) I don't feel I am living as a 'man' again but I do feel a lot different. I sobered up (four years clean in March) and in that process I found that I am both sexes and both genders ALL the time. Its really confusing but I had SRS planned and plain tickets and 3 weeks before I realized this was not something I could do to myself to feel real. I feel real allowing myself to go in and out off transition at any point of the day. So far the biggest thing I wanna do is not hate myself if I feel more mannish then my female self and allow the process (whatever that is) to happen naturally.

[Guest Chrysee]

Hi all. I am 29 y/o trans andro person. I spent ten years on hormones started ERT when I was 17. I lived 'full time' for most of those ten years. Now at 29 for the past 3 to 4 years I've been off hormones and cut my hair. (My hair was past the middle of my back... super cute:) I don't feel I am living as a 'man' again but I do feel a lot different. I sobered up (four years clean in March) and in that process I found that I am both sexes and both genders ALL the time. Its really confusing but I had SRS planned and plain tickets and 3 weeks before I realized this was not something I could do to myself to feel real. I feel real allowing myself to go in and out off transition at any point of the day. So far the biggest thing I wanna do is not hate myself if I feel more mannish then my female self and allow the process (whatever that is) to happen naturally.

Excuse me but did this post appear in some other thread because I'm almost certain that I replied to it?

With love,

Cissy

'Confusion is my Copilot'

[Guest endthesilence]

Hi all. I am 29 y/o trans andro person. I spent ten years on hormones started ERT when I was 17. I lived 'full time' for most of those ten years. Now at 29 for the past 3 to 4 years I've been off hormones and cut my hair. (My hair was past the middle of my back... super cute:) I don't feel I am living as a 'man' again but I do feel a lot different. I sobered up (four years clean in March) and in that process I found that I am both sexes and both genders ALL the time. Its really confusing but I had SRS planned and plain tickets and 3 weeks before I realized this was not something I could do to myself to feel real. I feel real allowing myself to go in and out off transition at any point of the day. So far the biggest thing I wanna do is not hate myself if I feel more mannish then my female self and allow the process (whatever that is) to happen naturally.

Excuse me but did this post appear in some other thread because I'm almost certain that I replied to it?

With love,

Cissy

'Confusion is my Copilot'

lol you did and were super sweet.... it was late and I did not want to re write the same thing but it fit in both posts. Cheers, Mattie

[Guest Delphinus]

Hi there! I'm Delphinus (of course that isn't really my name but since I'm not crazy about sharing identifying information on the net, please feel free to call me that or shorten it as you will).

Anyway... Some basic, non-gendered info about me is: I'm almost 25, a grad student, I love to cook, write, draw, sing, think, and spend time with friends, and I have an affinity for all sorts of marine critters (and a few terrestrial ones), especially dolphins!

The gender part is this: I'm female-bodied but have never seen myself as discretely anything, man, woman (religious, non-religious, white, non-white, the list goes on and on...). When I was a young child, I never really thought of myself having a gender, and certainly not a feminine one! As I got older and puberty happened in a very big way (I looked 14 at age 9...), I felt completely trapped in a body and in a role that I didn't identify with and that I didn't want, but I didn't think I had much choice. I tried for a couple of years to "be a girl," mostly by imitating Madonna (ha! Gotta love that woman!) but it just didn't work; it just didn't fit. By the age of 11, I gave up on that and just figured that I was butch but didn't feel "butch" because there was something wrong with me that made me not want to own an identity.

At 18, I discovered what I call 'the wonderful world of transgenderism.' Almost immediately, I went from identifying as 'iffy-' butch to trans-butch to FTM. By 20, if asked, I would've said that I was a psycho-socially male person in a female body. 21, same. 22, yeah. 23, why not? 24, *insert ACME anvil and 'HELP!' sign.* Haha... It's interesting that it took me envisioning myself as a man to come to terms with the feminine aspects of who and what I am. Of course, I'd love to say that there's a happy ending there but the truth is, there isn't yet, and maybe there won't ever be one for me where gender is concerned. The thing is, being open about my non-binary ID (androgyne, btw) could damage my career. I dress how I want (I only wear "mens" clothing and have for, i don't know, 10 years? 12? I forget...), and I don't necessarily guard my behavior (I don't really need to) but I just don't discuss it. I let people who don't know me very, very well think whatever they want - usually they decide that I'm a butch lesbian or sometimes just butch without inferring my sexual orientation. And it's frustrating for me, really frustrating because I don't want to hide this part of myself from my friends but I'm just not sure that they'd understand or accept it. And yes, you could argue that "real" friends would but I don't have many friends, and I don't make friends easily so, I don't want to risk losing them. If I were 15 instead of 25, things might be different... But I guess the kind of freedom I want simply isn't possible for me.

So, now I'm trying to figure out where this leaves me. It doesn't help that I'm single (and have been for 10 years, kind of... it's complicated) and I really would like to meet someone but I wouldn't even know where to look! I'm extremely self-conscious because I do look very androgynous (which fits my gender) but women who are attracted to either men (cis- or trans- ) or women may not want that at all. Like I said, frustrating!

Well, that's my "sob story," if you will. I'm normally very positive but this one thing (OK and one other thing hinted at but not mentioned...) has really been driving me to distraction lately so, I thought I'd feel better getting it off my chest.

Cheers!

- Delphinus

[Guest angels wings]

Hello Delphinus Welcome to Laura's

If you like there is an introduction forum where you can make a small intro of yourself there . This is a great way to meet others and it lets others see you are new and welcome you also . We ask all our members to please take a moment and read the terms and conditions . You can find these on the bottom right of any page . When you feel comfortable you can make a topic of your own . We also have chat available . You will need a different registration for this . Looking forward to getting to know you .

Angel

[Guest Delphinus]

Hi Angel! Thank you for the welcome. I will add a little intro on the main thread as well; I was a member a looong time ago, deleted my account, and now I've come back feeling quite a bit different than back then (in fact, I couldn't even remember my old username it's been so long!). In any case, I re-read the Terms and Conditions - glad to see the social media thing mentioned; people (especially kids) seriously have NO idea how powerful and powerfully destructive social media can be if not utilized/ monitored properly. Even as an adult, I'm pretty paranoid (hence not mentioning my real name on this site - sorry for any inconvenience there!). Actually, this creates a dilemma for me because I'd like to add a picture of myself but I also don't want to, if that makes sense! C'est la vie, I suppose! Well, off to indtroduce myself elsewhere!

-Del (I'll shorten it to this; this works) ;-)

[Guest Danielle1]

Hi Folks,

I sort of fit into this category - - - although it is very hard to categorize folks in a distinct manner given our numbers. Anyway, I am sort of angrogonous in the sense that I have both male and female traits. I first realized that I was "different" (different may be a wrong word - - - maybe it would be better to say that I was being pushed into a gender role that was not as comfortable as the one that was natural for me) at around the age of 3 or 4.

Anyway, I have been on femaile hormones (ethically via a psychiatrist and an endochronologist - - - I do not endorse non-medically supervised activity in this area of endeavour) for around 20 years now. I have been on Premarin and have blocked my Testestorone too. It has produced dramatic changes in my physique in a favorable manner (IMHO). I have undergone major electrolysis at a significant cost (pain is partly dollars and to a lesser degree physical).

Anyway, I am glad to share experiences with anyone who feels that they have been in a similar situation as myself.

Danielle1

[Guest Skandy]

Hi im a 20 years old italian guy , phisically i look totally as a guy but i can't understand if i am a guy or a girl in my mind ... im totally confused about my gender and i can't identify me totally as a girl or a guy .

[Guest Micha]

Hi and welcome, hope you find help and guidance and all the information you require!

[Guest aetherlux]

Hello, I'm Landon. I really have no idea what to say here. I'm terrible with introductions. Hmm... Well, I guess the most obvious thing to put here is why I am me; why I identify outside of the binary. I don't even know where to begin. I know that I've always struggled with some kind of dysphoria since childhood. I remember dressing up in my mother's clothes in the bathroom. I never really felt boyish. Never cared for sport or rough play. I was always an imaginer, and a thinker. All of my relationships have been disasters, Not only am I genderqueer, I am Asperger's. Yeah, a very fun life. *chokes on sarcasm*

Lately, I've been really daydreaming (and actual dreaming) about being completely female. In fact, the dream I had I was this very empowered, beautiful and confident woman who was shamelessly expressive and radiant. I didn't want to wake up. But in reality, I don't see that as a possibility. I'm far too neutral emotionally to really go through such a serious transition. I'm just utterly enamored by the feminine. I love it in myself and I love it in others. It's like I'm a lesbian woman inside a male body. The only exception is that I'm rather asexual. My attractions are entirely aesthetic in nature.

Speaking of male, I really hate the word "man". When someone calls me that I have to mentally cringe. That word makes me think of broad shoulders, muscles, hard contours and the overall bulkiness of masculinity. That has no appeal to me at all. Not for myself, and not in others. I just want to be able to be seen as a human being with no regard to gender, really. I want the mystery as that completely fits my personality as well as my passions. I want someone to see me and simply be intrigued as if I was from another world, rather than as one gender or the other.

Anyway, so there's that.

[Guest aetherlux]

I apologise if I've posted anything that goes against the rules. Anything I post is for the purpose of helping or inquiring, not to cause problems. I'm not used to such strictness in a forum. So, don't kick me out!

[Guest Dillinger]

Hi Landon and everyone else (if there is anyone else)

I'm Kat. Recently I've been going by Luckey. I can also be found around the web by the name of James Dillinger. I am not in transition and therefore don't really fit in with the typical FtM types. I also don't fit in at the gay bar. Don't fit in a pride. I just look like a cute little straight girl wherever I go. Such is my curse. But inside I am all man. Someday I hope to have my outside reflect this but for now I settle with a fairly androgynous hairstyle and occasional crossdressing.

[Guest Jamie_cd]

Hey Kat, it's nice to see another androgynous person here! I'm a little of both genders inside and out. Although I'd rather present as a female most of the time. Hmm I haven't tried gay bars yet but I really should. Cuz I have a hard time fitting in as well and need to find people out there who I can associate with and not just over the web.

[Guest aetherlux]

I've been to a couple of gay bars. I'm not gay, but I thought maybe they would be a good place to meet some genderqueer peeps. Didn't work out that way. I felt more uncomfortable there than a regular bar with all of the techno and drugged out pervs. Someone should really come up with a bar that isn't specifically for gay men or women. A place that advertises itself as a LGBTQA lounge. If I had the money I would. I've always wanted to start a lounge. I live a couple hours away from Portland in Oregon. They've got to have places like that, right?

[Guest Dillinger]

Yeah the internet is great, don't get me wrong. I've met some awesome people through it and hope to meet more. But it would be great to have a place to go where I didn't feel like an absolute freak. Or worse, super lonely. The problem with gay bars for me is I see all these happy, writhing, gorgeous gay guys and I am like, "Ah, I want to be one of you so bad!" Ha ha ha. Then I am sad. But yeah it would be cool to have like a coffee house/bar for the undefined masses. A place where those of fluid hearts can gather.

[tracy_j]

Hi

I'm new here and just getting a feel of the place.

I am middle aged and have raised a family but have not lost sight of the feelings that I have had all of my life. Even before school I remember doing both male and female things eg reading both boys and girls books without distinction and looking at girls as equals but some jealousy as they could wear pretty clothes. Very early at school I remember a boy saying to another that he should not do what he was doing as girls do that (girls games probably but I don't remember exactly what) - I thought then that I would play girls games and do what they do if I wished and no-one would stop me. I did not understand why I couldn't. I thought I was being rebellious at the time and later but now I see it in context. I liked to learn crafts and did some knitting and learnt to sew. I don't knit now but love sewing - adapting clothes etc. Later in my teens I loved brightly coloured trousers and even wore some of my sisters. I loved very girly clothes and wished for a valid reason to wear them but seldom found one.

There have been many instances of feminine things I have done over the years but I did not understand, although was never ashamed of what I was doing.

A few years ago I took up painting and drawing, concentrating on figure drawing. To help in that especially with clothing as I like fashion drawing I needed posed photo's. Not having a model I decided to do the modelling myself using the camera on timer. This resulted in me wearing both male and female clothing. From this I began to experiment both indoors and outdoors (in public). I began to see myself more as I have always wanted - more feminine - not a girl but very girly.

Concurrent with this I have steadily progressed from just shaving my face daily (as normal man) to wearing makeup (including foundation, lipstick and eyshadow) daily even at work plus mascara and eyeliner at weekends when out. Not usually heavy makeup. It is I find very relaxing applying the makeup and I absolutely love it. I have trimmed and plucked eyebrows (they were too bushy and irritating).

I had a period about a year and a half ago when I felt very depressed (terminally I think) and had little faith in doctors as they tended to be helpful only with pills (I hate medication and only take if essential). I decided to act and dress more like I felt as this made me happier and although I thought (and still do a bit) a risky strategy it seems to be working as I am happier than I have been for a long time even though I have a lot of problems in my life to deal with.

I still did not really know where I was going or anything and did not know anyone similar. Friends accepted me but did not understand. I searched a little and being into Goth culture and music to some extent I investigated there. In general I did not find what I was looking for but did find a word - androgyne. It is only a word but it has helped a lot. It has helped me find the information to understand where I have come from, who I am and where I may go.

Basically I am physically male (masculine not particulary androgyne looks). I am fundamentally sexually male (I question bisexuality to some extent as I am very affectionate and wonder if I could draw any line). Mentally I have no boundaries and tend to jump between male and female. I am sometimes indifferent but often I do not understand the reason for difference in sexually defined action in society although logically see it in social etiquette. I feel both male and female but am basically happy with my body.

I like to be me and when I get chance wear feminine clothes and makeup. I am not a rebel as such as this is an attempt to be me and show my self as I am - friendly, loving and caring - not fighting society. I feel very relaxed and happy like this and tend to be more communicative.

These are a few notes which may give you an idea of me - glad to meet you x