The best book for anyone transitioning

[Drea]

These days there are quite a few books out teere about people who are transitioning, transsexuals, hormones, etc not to mention all the stuff to be found on the internet. Some resonates with us, some may not. Some may be good, some may be bad.

Among all the research I did and such, I consider one book to be to be the most useful for me when it came to transition than anything else I read. The transition stuff was kinda really easy. The challenge was the dealing with people and my own desire to become a better person. This book has nothing to do with trans directly but gave me the tools I needed to be far more successful than I otherwise would have been.

Years before I went into transition I had professional traning that exposed me to this book. I know some might consider it kind of hokey but it has stood the test of time and it addresses common problems that many of us face even though it is not trans specific.

This book explores the fundamental techniques with dealing with people, provides tools for getting people to like you and how to win them over to your way of thinking.

The biggest transition challenges involve other people. Be this family, just people we interact every day, or our employers and co-workers. As such the ability to get them to like us and win them over to what we want is priceless.

The name of the book is "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. This book has been around a long time and probably can be found in most libraries. The book provides techniques, but it is really about becomming a better person so that others do like you, do care what you say.

The things I learned during that professional training, largly as listed in this book provided me invaluable insights and made it far easier for me.

[Cyndee]

That book is priceless, I read it when I was 20, I still keep it on my shelf and have revisited now and then.

Interesting you put it's content in the context of transitioning, I might have to pull off the shelf again and look at in that light.

Cindy -

[Carolyn Marie]

Thanks for posting this, Drea. Yes, the book has been around a long time, but there is a reason its considered a classic and a "must read."

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Donna Jean]

.

I feel that the true test of life is the people that love and care about you at the end of the day.....

I'm glad that you have a book that helped!

dj

[Guest Lacey Lynne]

Drea:

Fascinating that you should mention Dale Carnegie's timeless classic.

Actually, you're right! Heck, I was thinking of mentioning this book in your "Winning People Over" thread, but I KNEW you'd mention it eventually ... and we're all glad you did! Back in the Summer of 1987, my then-employer paid for me and two other guys to take The Dale Carnegie Course. Best course I ever took and lucked into taking it.

Imagine if "The Way of The World" was based on this book. From dot-eat-dog to love-thy-neighbor. The Golden Rule. What a wonderful world we have have. Hope we all get to that world someday. I believe it's possible to do do. Yeah, I'm a foolish optimist sometimes, but why not be?

Thanks for recommending this GREAT book of Mr. Carnegie's!

Peace & Thanks Lacey Lynne

[Drea]

I was thinking of mentioning this book in your "Winning People Over" thread, but I KNEW you'd mention it eventually ... and we're all glad you did! Back in the Summer of 1987, my then-employer paid for me and two other guys to take The Dale Carnegie Course. Best course I ever took and lucked into taking it.

I see you read into that other thread exactly what I was thinking. there was more to it, somewhat broader, but underlying it all was understanding just how much one can influence how others react to you. Similar to you, my employer paid for me to attend the basic Dale Carnegie course and one other class they offered. That is what exposed me to the book and the skills but it really is all in the book. The understanding I developed from there were absolutely invaluable when I started to deal with the trans stuff some years later. More than that, I feel I am a far better person for it.

One of the principles outlined is the importance of being able to admit when one is wrong or admit one's flaws. When one embraces that, it becomes so obvious the lengths some will go to avoid admitting they could possibly have made a mistake. As such, people can be very reluctant to give a book like this, that could improve one's chances for a positive outcome a try even though there is nothing to lose except some time reading.

In many ways I feel I been successful in incorporation much that is in the book into my life.

And I also freely admit that I don't always use the techniques outlined within this forum......I'll let that be a mystery for another day howwever.

[Guest Lacey Lynne]

Drea:

Totally understand and agree.

Many is the time, believe me, when I've been flat-out WRONG! Learning to admit when I am wrong and admit it with grace and style have helped me immensely. Tell you what:

My "hippie persona" on here is, to a great degree, just that: a persona. Why do I do it? Because, I'm trying to get people to think ... question ... reconsider. So, who the heck am I to do this? Like, do I believe I know better and they don't? Generally, no, I don't think that way. However, I DO know one thing; namely, The Way of the World CAN change and MUST change if we, humanity, are to survive into the next few upcoming centuries.

The Earth will be here. We may not be ... if humanity continues upon it's madcap course of greed, domination, conquest, profiteering and warring.

May we find our way.

Peace Lacey

[Cyndee]

On 8/28/2011 at 10:20 PM, Guest Lacey Lynne said:

Drea:

Totally understand and agree.

Many is the time, believe me, when I've been flat-out WRONG! Learning to admit when I am wrong and admit it with grace and style have helped me immensely. Tell you what:

My "hippie persona" on here is, to a great degree, just that: a persona. Why do I do it? Because, I'm trying to get people to think ... question ... reconsider. So, who the heck am I to do this? Like, do I believe I know better and they don't? Generally, no, I don't think that way. However, I DO know one thing; namely, The Way of the World CAN change and MUST change if we, humanity, are to survive into the next few upcoming centuries.

The Earth will be here. We may not be ... if humanity continues upon it's madcap course of greed, domination, conquest, profiteering and warring.

May we find our way.

Peace Lacey

We know Lacey....

[Guest DianeATL]

A book that helped me a lot was "the Four Agreements."  It taught me how to live my life well and not worry about what others may think or say.