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Boxes Lie

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So as my room mates were out of the house all day today, I thought it was a good opportunity to color my hair. I wouldn't do that with them around (she's probably fine with it but not too sure about him) because I think that it's stinky with an industrial smell.

So I got out the hair coloring stuff-in-a-box which I'd bought about a month ago. When you buy this stuff, the only indication of the color is a pic on the front of it of some woman with absolutely stunning hair.

I always feel like Goldilocks from the 3 bears story. Nah, this one is too light, that one is too dark. Yes! Yes! This one is just right! And away you go to look just like that luscious babe on the front of the box.

So if you follow the directions on the box, you proceed to gather up an old towel, put on these wonderful gloves which come in the box, twist the tip off of the applicator and then remove the applicator from bottle "A". Then you carefully pour in the entire bottle of "instantly make you look like a gorgeous babe from the front of the box" stuff into bottle "A". Tightly cover the tip with one's gloved finger and shake it until the house rumbles like something about 8.2 on the Richter scale. And proceed to pour this elixir from the fountain of youth onto your head, whilst covering one's shoulders with the before mentioned old towel. To protect your clothes.

Well, nobody was home. So why wear clothes from the waist up if I have to cover them with an old towel anyway? I mean, really?

So you end up looking like a drowning rat with this gunk (but it's from the Fountain of Youth, remember?) all over your hair. And you still have no idea what color this stuff really is. Except that it's "Luscious Babe Blonde #08, Warm".

So you let it (Cook, as my previous totally Gay Hairstylist used to say) soak it for 25 minutes to turn you into that Blonde Babe #08. You still have no idea what color the good ol' fountain bestowed upon you. Then rinse it out and voila!

It wasn't the right color. No I'm not saying that I don't like it but it surely didn't make me look like Babe #08. I have this super baby fine hair that's totally unmanageable. Like, if somebody farts 5 rooms away you'll see my hair blowing in the wind. But being so fine it actually looks like I have a real bad thinning issue on top because you can pretty much see right through the hairs. Now I look like I have a full head of hair.

But still not exactly like Luscious Blonde Babe #08, Warm.

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HI Caitlin,

You know what color I picked out. We're twins! And it's pretty smart to get hair color that's the same as the skin color. Those wispy places don't show as much!

We have hairspray that will take care of that flyaway hair (mine has a pilot's license - I know). Makes your hair feel like a helmet, but it stays right where you put it! Today, we revisited the hair salon while the soulmate got her hair primped. And her hairdresser sold us an oil. A drop of that magic stuff makes the dry ends come to life! We'll treat you to some next time we're together!

You know, luscious babe #08 has nothing on you - I hear her personality is totally flat. no heart, no zest. I bet she's not even on estrogen.

Have a great week, luscious babe #08.1....

Love, Meg

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Oh, thanks for the offer! But maybe I should refrain due to all of the gunk I'm already putting on my head (Nioxin, monoxidil). I think that it's about long enough that I can prolly get some kind of style done in a couple of weeks.The Doctor Emmett Brown from "Back to the Future" look may fit my personality but I can't see pulling that one off with boobs. Unless I introduce myself as Doctor Caitlin Brown of course!

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Hi Doc :3

I'm sure you look magical. Because, I said so.

And so did MegKitty.

and I believe her. Hence: You look great.

End. Of. Story.

Love ya :3

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Ah ha!

I color my hair, too....(I'm 61 and have gray slippin' in there...)

But your final result will depending on the color that you started with......

If a blond and a brunette use the very same hair color...the results will be very different!


Dee Jay

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You have fully convinced me that I will NOT do my own hair color jobs!!

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