Genderqueer Transitions

[Guest Micha]

Where do you folks wanna go? What are your goals and what do you want the real "you" to be? Hormones? Surgery?

Wanna see what folks got to say while I think about my own answers.

[Guest kylie666]

At some point in my life Hormones YES, I can't really see a future without it. ... as for SRS that's something i can't answer right now...

At first i thought getting SRS means just getting a hole in you and no more no less, But after reading more about it and seeing videos/pics etc i see now that it's so much more and the closest thing to the real thing As you could get.

Even so i am not sure if i would want to get SRS, I very much love my GF/soon to be wife. And i am not sure if she would stay with me if i did get SRS

The Idea of SRS is intriguing, And it would make wearing clothes/swim suits much better and easier

[Guest Alder]

hmmmm I at least want to go with Top surgery, I'm not sure on bottom surgery since there are definite limitations with FtM at the moment, as for hormones, I'm teeter tottering on the thought I don't want the end result of myself being to masculine, even though the males in my family aren't what you would call straight out manly in appearance and I do enjoy having a soprano singing voice at least half the time(the other times are when I can't hit the low notes I looooove) and hormones would effect my voice -le sigh- So, as it stands It's getting the most prominent feature of my 'womanhood' removed, the breasts.... I just have to do research on how to go about doing that.

[Guest Ambigendrous]

Once I got past the "Am I male or female?" question and finally figured out the best answer was both, I started thinking about how I could modify my very male body to match my androgynous brain. So I started taking estradiol almost 2 years ago. I knew there was only so much the E could do for me, so my expectations weren't too wild, and I've been thrilled with the changes. My skin is softer, I've got a bit more curve and certainly fat in different places, and my breasts have developed nicely. I've been tremendously fortunate that my wife loves my body changes (as long as I never shave my beard!), my therapist understands androgyny and didn't have any problem giving me my state-required letter allowing my doctor to prescribe hormones for me, and my doctor works with a broad variety of gender variant people. The trick is to keep the male equipment working, but for me a small amount of testosterone seems to work great without bothering the estradiol. All that to say I've reached two of my goals (resolve the nagging gender issues I had all my life and get my body in line with the rest of me), and I'm pretty happy to have gotten this far. From here I'm just exploring.

[Guest kylie666]

Once I got past the "Am I male or female?" question and finally figured out the best answer was both, I started thinking about how I could modify my very male body to match my androgynous brain. So I started taking estradiol almost 2 years ago. I knew there was only so much the E could do for me, so my expectations weren't too wild, and I've been thrilled with the changes. My skin is softer, I've got a bit more curve and certainly fat in different places, and my breasts have developed nicely. I've been tremendously fortunate that my wife loves my body changes (as long as I never shave my beard!), my therapist understands androgyny and didn't have any problem giving me my state-required letter allowing my doctor to prescribe hormones for me, and my doctor works with a broad variety of gender variant people. The trick is to keep the male equipment working, but for me a small amount of testosterone seems to work great without bothering the estradiol. All that to say I've reached two of my goals (resolve the nagging gender issues I had all my life and get my body in line with the rest of me), and I'm pretty happy to have gotten this far. From here I'm just exploring.

Yeah that's kind of the state i am in right now. And will most likely stay at.

BUT...The beard has to go That's one of my number 1 goals is Laser within the next year.

[Guest shatteredpan]

Well, I already took testosterone to bring out my male characteristics a little more. And honestly, I think I might be good. Chest surgery sounds tempting, but not entirely sure I want to go through with it. So for now it's a 'no', but who knows? That might change in a few years.

[Guest Micha]

Once I got past the "Am I male or female?" question and finally figured out the best answer was both, I started thinking about how I could modify my very male body to match my androgynous brain. So I started taking estradiol almost 2 years ago. I knew there was only so much the E could do for me, so my expectations weren't too wild, and I've been thrilled with the changes. My skin is softer, I've got a bit more curve and certainly fat in different places, and my breasts have developed nicely. I've been tremendously fortunate that my wife loves my body changes (as long as I never shave my beard!), my therapist understands androgyny and didn't have any problem giving me my state-required letter allowing my doctor to prescribe hormones for me, and my doctor works with a broad variety of gender variant people. The trick is to keep the male equipment working, but for me a small amount of testosterone seems to work great without bothering the estradiol. All that to say I've reached two of my goals (resolve the nagging gender issues I had all my life and get my body in line with the rest of me), and I'm pretty happy to have gotten this far. From here I'm just exploring.

This sounds wonderfult to me. I think I could be quite happy following your lead, but I doubt my lover would be as cool with me having boobs.

And I absolutely love your name.

[Guest Ambigendrous]

This sounds wonderfult to me. I think I could be quite happy following your lead, but I doubt my lover would be as cool with me having boobs.

It's a hard choice to make - what will I give up for my relationships and what will I give up for myself? That's why I feel so fortunate. My greatest sacrifice is maybe I don't go topless at the beach, and in Seattle, that's not much of an issue. If my wife had objected to my taking hormones, I would have had to wrestle with myself a long time before I went down this path. We've been together for 25 years and she's such a part of me... I suppose you've asked your lover what he or she would think?

[Guest Micha]

No, and I don't think I will. Kinda complicated I guess. Still not sure exactly what I want.

[Guest Alder]

No, and I don't think I will. Kinda complicated I guess. Still not sure exactly what I want.

Wonderfully understated XD It's so confusing just figuring out what you want, especially when it can change so much from one day to the next!

[Guest Rowan19]

I still don't have much of a clue here, top surgery is temping but still in the maybe column. As for T, I've never actually looked into what it does. Will probably look it up after I post this though... And bottom surgery, ummm... not completely out of the question but I'm pretty happy with my lady bits, as long as I don't get sprogged up. The thought of fertility kinda freaks me out...

[Guest Rowan19]

Yeah, just looked that up. Deffinately no T, I'm NOT going bald!

[Guest Micha]

Yeah, just looked that up. Deffinately no T, I'm NOT going bald!

I can empathize.

[Guest xjpopfanx]

I'm not really sure what I want. I'm kind of afraid still I guess of what others would think which is my main problem. If I did get anything done I think it would be the works, hormones and surgery but for now I'm just staying the way I am as I try to figure myself out more. It is complicated. ^^;;

[Guest Jamie D]

Once I got past the "Am I male or female?" question and finally figured out the best answer was both, I started thinking about how I could modify my very male body to match my androgynous brain. So I started taking estradiol almost 2 years ago. I knew there was only so much the E could do for me, so my expectations weren't too wild, and I've been thrilled with the changes.

I am on a similar path. Good luck to you.

P.S. The best smoked brisket (looking at your profile) I ever had was down in Texas. It was slow smoked over mesquite.

[Guest Rowan19]

Would it be better to risk baldness and be a man? IDK

[Guest Alder]

Would it be better to risk baldness and be a man? IDK

hmm I think I could handle the bald, I've a nice shaped head and lived bald for a year in the prime of being 16 and going through Chemotherapy.... It would also make wearing cosplay wigs easier

Buuuuut, at the same time I am a pretty vain person, and I enjoy my hair... on my head only >< I wouldn't want it to fall from the head and onto everywhere else! Thought it's also my own personal standing on my body, I'm not horribly dysphoric on most days and top surgery is really the only this that screams to me from the depths of everything even on my most 'girly' of days I glare at my chest ^.^ (which... is already kind of fuzzy for a girl >.>''')

[Guest Rowan19]

Would it be better to risk baldness and be a man? IDK

hmm I think I could handle the bald, I've a nice shaped head and lived bald for a year in the prime of being 16 and going through Chemotherapy.... It would also make wearing cosplay wigs easier

Buuuuut, at the same time I am a pretty vain person, and I enjoy my hair... on my head only >< I wouldn't want it to fall from the head and onto everywhere else! Thought it's also my own personal standing on my body, I'm not horribly dysphoric on most days and top surgery is really the only this that screams to me from the depths of everything even on my most 'girly' of days I glare at my chest ^.^ (which... is already kind of fuzzy for a girl >.>''')

Lol, I've got chest fuzz too. XD

But I got a weird shaped head, no way I could handle bald.

Yet recent things have come to light that really make me think about what I want in the transitioning process...

[Guest Micha]

I hate being bald up top and furry everywehere else. It makes no sense to me either, like what's the purpose of all this stuff everywhere else?!

Hair removal is definately on the table, and even my lover approves of that. There's also treatments to return hair to my head that I've only heard of and haven't investigated. So there may be ways to counter balding, but I wouldn't know.

Currently we're using nair and DIY waxing to try and keep my rainforests in check. Not sure of the results yet, too early.

[Guest Kukaku]

As for myself, I see myself as being 40% man and 60% female. So, I definitely want to start on hormones. As far as surgery, I would want to wait and see what my views are at, after a year or 2 of taking HRT. Although, my gut has been telling me yes to surgery for like 20 years... Man writing out the years like that makes me really think why I've been waiting this long.

[Guest Jo-I-Dunno]

Internal identity? Some gender other than male or female.

Hormones? I've been on hormones for... 18 months? Still male to the world. I swim with a wetsuit instead of swim trunks, but other than that, it hasn't affected my outward presentation. I'd like hormones to take me further, though. I'd like to be seen as a female not because I'm "female on the inside" but because I just think it's a more attractive look to have! I just don't want to use clothing or makeup to do it. My "body" needs to be female. The change in identity would be a welcome side-effect.

Facial hair removal? I'm going to weekly sessions. It's expensive and time consuming and it hurts! But I LOOOVE the idea of having a smooth face.

SRS? Expensive. Painful. Dangerous. I'm asexual so I'm not worried about "fun time". And having options for how I pee is nice...

Like with hormones, I'd prefer the lady-parts (actually, I'd prefer nothing, but no one does that), but hormones are ceap and easy. SRS sounds like way more than it's worth.

I'm taking it as it comes. I'm "prettier" every day, and if I get "pretty" enough, maybe I'll change up my presentation a tad. Piece by piece. If I become female, I want it to be gradual, not overnight.

I'm only 19 but I've been thinking a lot about the future and prospect of having a family. Being asexual kind of makes it hard to have a partner. My ideal partner would just be like a really close and sharing roommate. My best friends know this is how I feel! but no one's taken the bait...

I'm way more interested in having kid(s) though. Not genetically; I'm probably long-gone infertile 'cause of hormones. I want to adopt someday, but I imagine a single genderqueer male would have a hard time adopting. Foster parent maybe? Helping young teens who need a home?

This is my only real fear about my current path in life.

[Guest Rowan19]

Told my mum I wanted to start T today, no history of baldness in my family so I no longer fear that side effect. The worst anyone in my family has hairy grizzly bearness, and I've already got that.

[Guest runner2guy]

I'm a guy who tries to live as naturally as possible in our industrial urban world - a self confessed ecofreak - and I've learned to live and love that sort of life, so I've never been interested in any sort of hormone treatment and certainly would never consider any sort of surgery. I am happy as I am and as nature made me, mixed up bits and all. It's been made easy for me by my jobs - organic farmer and work in a gay-friendly pub, where I'm taken for what I am, and have never had any hassle. Another important thing. At present I'm young, and my thinking is influenced by sexual thoughts of whatever sort. But one day I'll be old, and what will I think then of any surgery that I might have had long before?

[Guest Alexx21]

am unsure what i want really ...i think i want to go for top surgery no T

[Guest Micha]

Internal identity? Some gender other than male or female.

Hormones? I've been on hormones for... 18 months? Still male to the world. I swim with a wetsuit instead of swim trunks, but other than that, it hasn't affected my outward presentation. I'd like hormones to take me further, though. I'd like to be seen as a female not because I'm "female on the inside" but because I just think it's a more attractive look to have! I just don't want to use clothing or makeup to do it. My "body" needs to be female. The change in identity would be a welcome side-effect.

Facial hair removal? I'm going to weekly sessions. It's expensive and time consuming and it hurts! But I LOOOVE the idea of having a smooth face.

SRS? Expensive. Painful. Dangerous. I'm asexual so I'm not worried about "fun time". And having options for how I pee is nice...

Like with hormones, I'd prefer the lady-parts (actually, I'd prefer nothing, but no one does that), but hormones are ceap and easy. SRS sounds like way more than it's worth.

I'm taking it as it comes. I'm "prettier" every day, and if I get "pretty" enough, maybe I'll change up my presentation a tad. Piece by piece. If I become female, I want it to be gradual, not overnight.

I'm only 19 but I've been thinking a lot about the future and prospect of having a family. Being asexual kind of makes it hard to have a partner. My ideal partner would just be like a really close and sharing roommate. My best friends know this is how I feel! but no one's taken the bait...

I'm way more interested in having kid(s) though. Not genetically; I'm probably long-gone infertile 'cause of hormones. I want to adopt someday, but I imagine a single genderqueer male would have a hard time adopting. Foster parent maybe? Helping young teens who need a home?

This is my only real fear about my current path in life.

Jo, you are a very interesting person, and I think you're wonderful. I totally dig you're line about wanting neither, like if there was a physical representation of it rather than being strictly psychological. I've dreamed about that. . . an entire race, a species where there is no male or female, or any of the side effects of having such things. But ay. . . dreams. . .

I'm a guy who tries to live as naturally as possible in our industrial urban world - a self confessed ecofreak - and I've learned to live and love that sort of life, so I've never been interested in any sort of hormone treatment and certainly would never consider any sort of surgery. I am happy as I am and as nature made me, mixed up bits and all. It's been made easy for me by my jobs - organic farmer and work in a gay-friendly pub, where I'm taken for what I am, and have never had any hassle. Another important thing. At present I'm young, and my thinking is influenced by sexual thoughts of whatever sort. But one day I'll be old, and what will I think then of any surgery that I might have had long before?

I completely admire thoughts of accepting what nature gave us, and living with it without remorse. I truly long for that. . .

My problem comes with my idea that nature has been perverted my humankind. That mankinds' ridiculous ideals about pretty much everything, gender related or not, are absolutely unnatural, as well as completely accepted as reality. I do not believe that mankind today is as nature intended, or is anything near what could be considered natural.

And if it is. . . I reject it body and soul.

I love nature, but I despise humanity. I feel like a contradiction, but that's my truth. I don't believe nature, as it is and should be, can be improved upon, but I also don't believe human history has been any sort of natural design. To be blunt, people done screwed up everything.

I don't feel I am as nature intended, even if my body is right by nature. There's more to me than that.

That withstanding, I do love what you say, I feel very strongly towards your words.