Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Fully out in church at last --


VickySGV

Recommended Posts

  • Admin

I saw this quote in a post that Carolyn Marie put in the forum today, and decided to make it my own topic that I seemed to have forgotten to put in here in for a few weeks--

CNN News Article in CM's post

How did this happen? More Christians now know someone who is LGBT. They probably even know someone from their church. There are countless faithful Christians who identify as LGBT.

Last February I "came out" to my Episcopal Church priest and our church lay council (Vestry) in a letter that I hand delivered to Julie, my priest. She was VERY ready to accept the forthcoming "me" on her part, but surprise, she had already known other trans people.

In May, I was invited to a meeting of the Vestry itself, it had taken them some time to come to grips with what I was doing and their own feelings, but when I showed up as my woman "me" they noticed that "You (I was) seem much more comfortable in your own body and presentation!!" What can we do? What can we do for you?? My answer "Show your acceptance of me as best you can. Here is information you can let the other parishoners have, and TALK to me if you have questions." There was no hesitation in saying they could do that. (I had been a member there for 20 years.)

Over the summer I began wearing somewhat gender neutral clothing and making no secret that I was wearing a bra, and having my own hair combed in a style that could be taken as either male or female. I found out who was warmly accepting during that period and others who were just warming up. After the confession of sin and absolution in or communion service there is a part called "passing the peace" in which we can shake hands or exchange brief hugs with the other members of the congregation. It was here that the hugs I received from other women became woman to woman hugs, and even our choir master who is gay hugged me instead of shaking hands. A few men also changed the blacksmith grip they generally used for hand shaking into something gentler.

The last Sunday in September, I was not in church since I was in Atlanta for the Southern Comfort TG Conference and one FANTASTIC day at the WPATH Conference (3000 miles east of Arcadia CA). Even without being in church that day, I knew what would be happening the next Sunday.

On October 2, I put on my make-up and one of my good hair pieces, and an undeniably female blouse with a flower shaped ruffle at the neck. Two days before I had gotten a letter from the parish secretary with a reading the I as a "lector/intercessor" was to read during the communion service that day. It was appropriate I thought, that is was the feast day of St Francis of Assisi. Vicky was warmly welcomed albeit with one or two "my goodness I didn't recognize you's" and made "her" first reading of the Great Intercession that day.

Since then, I am fully in my transitioning self, and have been asked to become more involved in some things they never would have asked me to do before. Our parish IS having some membership problems, and maybe one of our hopes is to be sure the young people in our community know that we can warmly accept, and hopefully become fully welcoming to GLBT people. My priest and I had one brief talk a few days ago, we both think that maybe with the church seeing me that our next step will be a two dad or two mom family to help get our supply of tiny youngsters growing again.

I am finally feeling at peace myself and in my own spiritual journeys again.

Link to comment

What a great story Vicky and I am very happy that things have worked out so well for you. :)

I often worry about whether or not I should move away from my town where I live now once I fully transition since it is a rather religious little mountain town. Even though the largest church in the area here is openly not accepting of LGBT people, I think the churches view is not the view of each and every individual member. So while I am worried how my transition may affect my business I am not mortified and fearful that we will go under because of my transition.

I hopw more churches will follow these steps and I hope one day I can turn on my local christian radio station and not have to listen to intolerance and right wing propoganda.

Link to comment
  • Admin

While I am not religious, I can certainly understand the importance of being accepted and welcomed by your church brethren. I can see how much it means to you. I am very happy for you, Vicky, and hope that others will find the same level of acceptance in their church, mosque, or synagogue.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

That is wonderful Vicky and I am very happy for you.

There are many good and loving Christians and it helps us to hear about them rather than the tiny minority with the loud voices that are raised in hate or rejection who seem to dominate our view of Christianity all too often.

Hugs

Johnny

Link to comment
  • 4 weeks later...

like my therapists the congration at church has rolled over a few times. i started in my mid-twenties after a friend and co-worker invited me. i was nervous but open the first few years. i only wore women's clothes then. (no dresses or skirts @ church) i wore makeup, jewelry and back in those days, my hair reached my waist. everyone soon knew i was a gay male dressing as a woman.

i'm am very fond of my religion. ten years ago i found out i had cancer. i am free now and healthy as a horse. that 9-11 months of treatments and surgery i leaned heavily on my faith and friends with faith. today i wear dresses and skirts most of the time. i have over a hundred friends in the church. oh i have attended district and state function for the church.

Loveya

SeeJay

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Can't say I'm fully out to the church but I did attend last week in full male mode-not a suit, our church is casual and there was not one suit in the church-with a male haircut so they have to be aware that something has happened besides the massive weight loss. The baritone voice may be a clue too. :)

With a county that has many times more churches than businesses and a population of less than 2000 we don't have a 100 members in church-about 30 maybe. But they are nice people. In the next few weeks I still want to go and talk to the pastor so he knows the story first hand in case questions do arise. Rumor and speculation are so much worse than the truth ever is.

Our church-like other good churches everywhere regardless of denomination-remembers and honors that the Lord said "The greatest of these is Love". Church and religion should be about that above all else. When it is they accept and embrace the person regardless of circumstances rather than reject and revile.

Johnny

Link to comment
Guest OutOfSorts180

Hi Vicky, JJ and Seejay:

Thanks so much for sharing your stories. I am also a Christian. My church affiliation is Southern Baptist and they are very conservative. Not so sure I would be as welcome in my church as you were in yours.

Conversely, at least for those in church who are my peers and age, I know many of them to be very warm and loving people with a true love of God and Christ. So I do believe that at least with them, I'd be welcome, but not necessarily by the church at large.

You know, and this is something I had also shared with my GT, is that I very strongly believe that God has a reason and purpose for all of us. I believe that while I have felt all of my life that I was a girl, I also believe he had a reason and a plan for me to not act on my feelings until now. Otherwise, I wouldn't have married and met my wonderful wife nor would I have had my 3 wonderful kids. I do not believe they were a "mistake." I ended up getting a very good job and as a result, I'm fairly stable financially. And let's face it, from what I've read, going through a full MTF transition with GT, HRT, FFS, SRS and other costs, it ain't cheap. I also firmly believe that God has a purpose for me after I transition. It may be that will use me to reach out to others like ourselves that I wouldn't have reached out to if I had kept the status quo.

And you know...about 3 weeks ago in our Sunday School class, we studied Romans 14:1, "Accept him whose faith is weak without passing judgement on disputable matters." Now...I don't want to say I'm "weak in faith", but I can see where others would think I am (when I do come out). However, the part that is encouraging to me is the part I've bolded in this verse. So..maybe this is also an opportunity for my Christian brothers and sisters to really "obey" by accepting me. I guess time will tell.

God loves us unconditionally and he is with us regardless. So...KEEP THE FAITH!!!

Link to comment

What a wonderful post and series of replies. Its heartwarming to see such acceptance. It can be lonely being Trans, and I can think of few things more horrible than to be rejected by a group of people who say they believe in God's love. I'm happy for those who have come out and been accepted. For those who aren't accepted, the good news is that there are churches that embrace all of God's children, not just the "chosen few"...

Best wishes

Michelle

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   2 Members, 0 Anonymous, 102 Guests (See full list)

    • Evelyn J
    • Miss Cormac
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.5k
    • Total Posts
      767.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      11,942
    • Most Online
      8,356

    taxicab
    Newest Member
    taxicab
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Amyjay
      Amyjay
      (58 years old)
    2. bettyjean
      bettyjean
    3. Breanna
      Breanna
      (52 years old)
    4. Emily Ayla
      Emily Ayla
    5. JET182
      JET182
  • Posts

    • Susan R
      Love it! This is great news. We need more of this to combat the excessive hate-filled rhetoric and misinformation. 👍
    • Susan R
      The experience was the same for me @April Marie. I slept much deeper and I woke up each morning feeling so much more restful sleeping with forms solidly in place. For me, wearing breast forms at night started when before I was a teenager. I had no access up to modern breast forms and certainly no way to buy mastectomy bras back then. I wore a basic bra my mom had put in a donation box and two pairs of soft cotton socks. I have some crazy memories of things I did in my youth to combat my GD but regardless, these makeshift concoctions helped me work through it all.   All My Best, Susan R🌷
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Colorado isn't exactly a Republican place, and won't become one anytime soon.  I think those folks might be better off not spending their time playing Don Quixote.    We certainly have our share of California "refugees" moving into where I live, so I wouldn't be surprised to start seeing Coloradans too.  I suspect the trend over the next few years will see the blue areas getting more blue and the red areas getting more red as anybody who can relocate tries to find a place where they fit better.   
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Well, at least it'll be a place some folks could choose.  Options are a good thing.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      My family would have gobbled that jar up in a minute or two.  When we do have pickled herring, its usually for Christmas.  I didn't grow up with that particular dish, but I grew up in a Greek family so I like just about any kind of fish if I can get it.  However, ocean fish and freshwater fish taste so different.  We usually have more catfish and tilapia to eat than anything else.    What I can't quite get used to is the tons of cabbage my GF insists on eating.  When you live with a Russian, there is always cabbage soup.  Always.  When I first moved in with her, breakfast was "shchi" for soup and either bread or "kasha" which is a bowl of boiled buckwheat with butter and salt.  Those dishes can be made in any number of ways, some are better than others.  In the winter, it can even be salty and sour like kraut.  Not exactly sauerkraut, but packed in tubs with vinegar and salt so it keeps partially for the winter.  But I drew the line when the cabbage soup included pieces of fried snake one day.  😆
    • Ashley0616
      Good evening to you as well @Mmindy   That is awesome that you have support from her side. My dad has communicated with me once and that was because he was forced to. His new wife wanted to spend time with my kids. He hated me so much he was in the process of taking my rights away as a parent to my two boys. He was talking to a lawyer and I called him out on it. I don't love him at all. I'll respect him because I wouldn't be here without him but I wished I had another father. My uncles don't talk to me and unfriended me on Facebook. Almost all cousins except for two are still Facebook friends but they don't give me any support. My mom said she won't support me with that but she has said that she loves me. I have nieces and nephews that are still Facebook friends but they have yet to talk to me. I have one sister that supports me out of three. The other's disrespect me by deadnaming me. They have never called me their sister. I think for them they think it's still a phase. They don't ask questions about me being trans. I have to bring it up and on the look of their faces they don't look comfortable about it. 
    • Mmindy
      Good evening @Ashley0616,   I just got offline with HP tech support trying to get my printer tool box icon locked to my tool bar. This is one of the most important features of my printer that I like because it keeps track of ink, paper, and scanned documents. I'm diffidently not a computer geek.   I'll catch up with the other bookmarks next week. We leave to go home for the Easter Holiday with our families. Saturday with her side, and Sunday with my side. What's odd about that is I'm out to more of her side and they're reluctantly supportive. My side on the other hand are less supportive, and my sister just under me in age will not acknowledge my being there. She will be constantly moving to keep from dealing with me. I'm dead to her.   Hugs,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋  
    • Ashley0616
      I used to follow baseball and the team I would cheer for is Boston Red Sox. My favorite player was Papi. He was an awesome guy and even held a child during the National Anthem. I haven't watched baseball for a long time. It just died off to me. 
    • Ashley0616
      That stinks that nothing transferred, and no bookmarks were saved! 
    • Ashley0616
      I'm doing patches for now but I think soon I'll go to shots because it's hard to alternate when you are doing two xx patches at once. Unless she gives me Estradiol and progesterone
    • Sally Stone
      Go Cleveland Guardians!  I love baseball and I loved playing it when I was younger.  
    • Sally Stone
      My view is we are "dependent" on government, because as a society, we are too lazy to stay actively involved. So, we let politicians do our bidding for us.  I think we'd be in a better place government wise if we policed the actions of our politicians.  We elected them; they work for us.  Sadly, we are allowing them to run amok.  We are where we are because we have chosen to let politicians make all decisions without us.  Remember "by the people, for the people?" That was the intent of our democracy.  Today, however, it is "by the politicians, for the politicians," the people be damned. 
    • Mmindy
      "Play Ball! Batter Up!" is the closing line of the National Anthem as far as I'm concerned. It's the call of the Home Plate Umpire and signals the start of the game. I grew up in the TV and Radio broadcast of the St. Louis Cardinals. Harry Caray, Jack Buck, Tim McCarver, and Mike Shannon, were the voices on my transistor radio. KMOX 1120 AM pushing 50,000 watts of Class A clear-channel non-directional signal. It could be picked up all across MO, IL, IN to the East. KS, OK, CO to the West. IA, MN to the North, and KY, TN, AR to the South. There has always been a rivalry against the Chicago Cubs, in the National League. As for the American League, I have to pull for the Kansas City Royals. I've also been a Little League Umpire, and fan of everything the Little League stands for. Going to Williamsport, PA and seeing the Little League World Series is in my top 10 things to do on my bucket list.   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Mmindy
      Good evening everyone,   I don't think my mother ever cooked a meal that I didn't like. We also had a kitchen where mom fixed the food, dad filled your plate, and you eat it. It wasn't until our baby brother was born that we could have Pop-Tarts for snacks. Before that all snacks had to meet mom's approval, and in her opinion wouldn't prevent you from eating supper.   Well my day started off on a good note, but has become frustrating because my IT person didn't transfer my saved videos I use for teaching. Then I found out that they didn't save any of my book marks for websites I use frequently.   Best wishes, stay motivated,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • MaeBe
      The number is relative to method of deliver, the time of the dose, and when the blood is drawn. However, I do want to keep away from DVT and other potential issues. I assume I may be getting backed down from my current dose, but my doc told me to stick with the higher dose, so? I also wonder if this has anything to do the my breast growth and mental changes that have been happening over the past few years, like I have some estrogen sensitivity so a little goes a long way or something? I don't have enough data to postulate, but who knows!   With weekly, subcutaneous, shots you expect to see big swings of serum level estradiol from shot to peak to trough. My doctor is interested in mid-week testing (for E and T levels only), which would be post-peak blood serum levels but they will be higher than trough. Most, if not all, resources I've seen online is to measure at trough (which I might do just to do it next time) along with a SHBG, LH, and other metrics.   This is from transfemscience.org for Estradiol valerate in oil, which is very spiky compared to some other estradiol combinations. It's also for intramuscular, which will have a slower uptake and is usually dosed in higher volume due to the slower absorption rate from muscles. They don't have subcutaneous numbers, which I would expect to see similar spikes but higher levels at similar doses due to the relatively higher absorption rate direct from fat.   Are you doing pills, shots, or patches? And when you do get your levels checked are you getting that done when your levels are lowest or some other time?
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...