Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

this community is inexpendable, irreplaceable, invaluable.....


Guest eliza.d

Recommended Posts

Guest eliza.d

i wasnt sure where to post this, so i put it here.

i want as many of us as possible, both mtf and ftm to see this.

in the short time i have been here, the support, advice, experience, inclusion, and kindness i have recieved here is astounding. i have gotten more love and understanding from all of you here than my family has ever given me in 33 years. the exception is my angelic wife whom i love with all that i am.

thank you all for all that you are, and the boundless generosity of spirit that has been given to me here.

you all are so beautiful. never let anyone tell you that you are not. bless the human spirit and its neverending quest for peace, happiness, and freedom.

hugs to all. never give up. never give in,

Eliza D

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Thank you Eliza.

Each of us here has come in pain and desperation and stayed because we found the things you have found here. We only give back what we ourselves were given.

The person who started all of this did it with a spirit of love and understanding and inclusion that has taken a life of it's own from that beautiful root and become a shelter and a lifeline beyond anyone's expectations. But it was that foundation in love that made it all possible to begin with I believe.

Life, for all it's hard and painful aspects, can also be amazing and beautiful. Nothing demonstrates that for me better than Laura's. I happen to be a very spiritual person and see this place as blessed.

I am glad you have joined us here to add your voice and your support. Each person who comes brings a unique gift and makes us stronger and more incredible than we already were.

Johnny

Link to comment
Guest eliza.d

amen, johnny.

god bless laura. we are very fortunate to have her. i read her bio and story, and cried for her suffering and cried also for her rebirth. she has given so much to us. now we have so much to give ourselves, and to give of ourselves so that others may survive and flourish.

Eliza D

Link to comment
  • Admin

Thank you, Eliza. In the short time you've been here, you've made a big contribution. I look forward to a long and fruitful collaboration. It's members like you who make this place what it is.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

Link to comment
Guest eliza.d

thanks, im going to be very active in here, its my main source of support, and helps with the loneliness out here on the open road.

always faithful.....and usually long winded,

Eliza

Link to comment
Guest John Chiv

Eliza,

I assure you that reading your posts is wonderful. And many of us can be long-winded too :). Your spirit is joyous and like Carolyn said, you are contributing and we are grateful to have you here.

John

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I clam the long winded prize! No matter how hard I try I end up putting up mini books and walls of texts. Don't even want to imagine what it would be like if I wasn't trying. I went back the other day to read one my early posts and just gave up. Even I couldn't get through that thing:)

I've thought your posts were just right.

Happy Holiday's all!

Johnny

Link to comment
Guest Lacey Lynne

Eliza:

Face it, girl:

You've so found your crew!

You are one of us now, babes. You are so family, so get comfortable, get posting and get happy. You're home, honey, you ... are ... HOME!

This place so gives us what we so need. Our differences notwithstanding, Laura's Playground affords each and every one of us with the love, safety and understanding we ALL so need. Laura, Mary Ellen and Petra Jane intended to provide a kinder, gentler transsupport site to prevent suicides. They have resoundingly done so.

Please, do stop buy as your circumstances and your spirit so move you to.

Happy Holidays :friends: Lacey Lynne

Link to comment
Guest cassie51

Hi Eliza,

I am always joyous when a new member join's Laura's and they describe their feelings of "coming home". I have those feelings that you described too about being here. I literally would not be alive today if I had not found my way here. Laura's and the people that make up the community are a godsend.

I'm so happy your path brought you to us and I look forward to hearing your thoughts on many subjects.

Peace, Love & {{HUGGS}}

Cassie

Link to comment
Guest eliza.d

ive always been very family oriented. despite my entire family's cowardly departure from my life, i am very honored to have a new family here. and a much more diverse, intelligent, caring, supportive, and dedicated than my old one. i anticipate there will be a few stragglers returning to my life from my biological family. and they will be welcomed back. thats me, forgiving but stalwart on my principles.

i think we can agree, we all are much more than our biology has told us we are.

we are victorious! we are strong! we are numerous! we are ourselves, and we are loved!

Eliza D

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Welcome to the family. I'd be proud to welcome you as a daughter of the heart or a little sis.

Your forgiveness and beauty of spirit are qualities I very much admire

Johnny

Link to comment
Guest eliza.d

as do i admire your qualities and all those of my new family of the heart spirit here in this wonderful place laura created and so many like youself have made into the place of respite and sanctitude for each and evry one of us that sadly we more often than not are unable to find in our biological families and a world the does not understand us.

some magical person here had a wonderful quote in their signature saying that the torch that we hold and use to light our way also may serve to light the way for others that would follow us. that is a great analogy for what lauras playground has done for us as we follow the light that led her to be delivered from her suffering, so shall we be delivered from our suffering.

my sincere apology for plagiarising that beautiful quote without remembering who its author is. i that it very appropriate to state it here.

such love and understanding have all of you bestowed upon me, so shall it be returned in kind from my heart unto yours and each person that i may help by this gift.

our conditions are indeed just that, gifts. may we light the way here as well in our daily lives so that by what ever small measure of understanding we may give unto this world that does not understan us, so that one day it may understand. this gift of our truth that we give unto the world is not insignificant. it iz our fight for peace and survival so that all may live in peace and happiness and not be judged and persecuted for their differences, but live as they see fit with equality and love.

Truth, honor, service, justice, and freedom.

this truth and freedom is our divine right, human right, civil right and constitutional right.

may the world around us begin to understand, accept, protect, and welcome us. as woe do likewise for them in our crusade for justice and freedom of the human spirit.

Love always,

Eliza D

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

The funny thing is that the quote is mine and someone -with my blessing-borrowed it for a signature line.

It makes me feel good that it has rippled out and you are also welcome to use it. In fact I am not possessive of my words-feel free to take anything you want if you come across something again.

It has been a down day-we all have them sometimes-and this has brought a much needed smile-Thanks

And thank you for your beautiful post.

Johnny

Link to comment
Guest eliza.d

ive had a lot of so down days, but im on my way home to be with my wife for christmas.

tomorrow, i have my next psych appt, and my first appt with my hrt doc.

yeeeeaaah! im so happy. it will be about two weeks before the blood work comes back and i can begin hrt i can hardly wait. but patience is an aquired skill of mine. learned in the us army. hooah!

im locked and loaded. ready to rock!

Eliza D(ex abrahms tanker 19kilo, 1STplatoon, bravo company 2/81 armor. ft knox, ky)

Link to comment
Guest Krisina

I'm glad to see you have a angelic wife. Those are the best ones to have.

Congrats on getting to start hrt soon.

Yes Laura's is a great place of love and understanding. Families and the world can be bewildered by us out of a lack of ignorance etc. The human condition I'm not sure. I just wish more in the world would accept us as we are not the way they want all of us to be from the same cookie cutter pattern of conformity.

Krisina

Link to comment
Guest eliza.d

me too, now that i ve lost my whole bio fam, my wife's fam is beginning to start in on me. first by use of the word of the lord.

ill continue this in the christianity section,

thanks again,

Eliza

Link to comment
Guest Robin Winter

me too, now that i ve lost my whole bio fam, my wife's fam is beginning to start in on me. first by use of the word of the lord.

ill continue this in the christianity section,

thanks again,

Eliza

Cite Matthew 5:29,30 for them.

Link to comment
Guest eliza.d

yeeeeahhh! amen to that. " for it is better that you lose one of the parts of your body than for your whole body to go into hell."

that is actually a quote straight from the mouth of Jesus in the bible. it doesnt get any more real than that.

i knew that one, but thanks for spotlighting its meaning to me. it is obvious to me:

we must change our bodies to match our spirit, or through self deception and denial of the truth we go to hell in entirity.

i have said to my bio fam, i have only one choice to make in this life as we do as christians: truth or death, that is, truth of the lord, or the eternal death of hell.

my life before gaining the courage to tell the world who i was, and ultimately myself, was just that, hell. but on earth. im sure we can all attest to that. i endured hell on earth, and it nearly destroyed me. i am not going to make the same mistake again, especially when i in reality face eternity in hell.

excellent quote!

i know my sisters and brothers here have got my back. and i have yours.

Eliza

Link to comment
Guest Robin Winter

There are other scriptures you can tie to that one to strengthen it's application to our position, but the idea that stands out best for me, even though not all churches subscribe to the concept, is that suicide is a one way ticket to the basement. Even if someone doesn't believe that, though, surely they would have to admit that suicide qualifies as "stumbling".

Link to comment
Guest eliza.d

yep i agree with the suicide sending you straight to hell. i hope however, thats not the case, since so many of us have leftr this world by their own hands. guess im kinda at odds about it really.

i do believe that the division among christianity, by denomination is now a good thing. i was raised southern baptist, and became a confirmed catholic in college...my moms side is staunchly catholic...but i did that for myself not for her. my wife was raised greek orthodox, since shes greek and since i was a confirmed catholic, the greek church recognized it and allowed us to be married. i liked the ceremony very much. the church was beautiful.

i have over the years come to the understanding that i can find god in every church, since i bring him with me. that is to say, god is with us always, so of course he comes to church with me.

we have been going to an associate reformed Presbyterian church in our town, not such still what a.r.p. means though. we go there only because the pastor is an amazingly good one. hes actually two years younger than me, but he is very spiritual and you can see it by his actions. i dont think we will be going there anymore, since the congregation is full of bigots. we are looking for a church that is tg friendly in our area. may have to go to charlotte, nc for that.O:-)

im almost back home for christmas, and my wife and i are going to go see the new sherlock holmes flic. cant wait to see r.downey jr in drag. lol!

maybe even hollywood is beginning to acknowledge us. dont know if it will be good or bad, but well see.

some of my fav tg,somewhat tg movies are: switch, let the right on in(orig swedish version), , normal, an d boys dont cry.

im a movie nut, and my wife and i are vampire fanatics. her first word as a baby was draculala.

if you havent seen let the right one in, original version. its a must. could be the best vamp film ever, and its tg related. the us remake, let me in, was ok.....but the tg element was taken out entirely.

typical isnt it.

Eliza

Link to comment

I just wanted to say that I think Laura's is fantastic as well. It has done and is doing so much for me in my own transition and it makes a lot of things a lot easier because you can come here and ask for advice from people who have actually gone through the same things.

It's a really great tool for getting in touch with other trans people who you wouldn't have come across otherwise. It's great because people here often understand your situation and your feelings better than many people you've known your whole life. All you people here are wonderful!

Even if it's something small you're just wondering about or something huge that really, really worries or upsets you, Laura's has help to offer and I think that is so amazing. It really makes a difference.

It also gives me an immediate feeling of strength and hope every time I jut sign in here because I instantly see and feel that I am not alone.

Go Laura's!! :thumbsup:

Talon.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   3 Members, 0 Anonymous, 165 Guests (See full list)

    • April Marie
    • Karen Carey
    • Betty K
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.6k
    • Total Posts
      767.9k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,014
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Quillian
    Newest Member
    Quillian
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. l.demiurge
      l.demiurge
  • Posts

    • Carolyn Marie
      https://www.nbcnews.com/nbc-out/out-health-and-wellness/scotland-pauses-prescriptions-puberty-blockers-transgender-minors-rcna148366     Carolyn Marie
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://www.huffpost.com/entry/a-second-trump-presidency-would-be-a-nightmare-scenario-for-transgender-people_n_661ff9a9e4b07db21fd5d59b     Carolyn Marie
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Well, HIPAA is basically useless for keeping government out of your medical stuff.  It doesn't seem to prevent employers from making workplace medical demands either.  About the only thing it seems to do is keep somebody's sister or spouse from having the tools necessary to help you when you're in trouble.  As usual, government made things worse and added unhelpful red tape.  I really doubt HIPAA will be any use in the area of trans rights either.    Honestly, I don't see anything good will come of this no matter how it goes.  If some state AG's win on this, it will cause issues for trans folks.  If the Feds win on this, it'll be a precedent to stomp on states' rights even more than has already been done.  And I'm not sure which way things go will make a difference when it comes to officials from one state trying to do nasty things to people who have left that state and gone elsewhere.    What a crap sandwich... and no matter which plate it gets served on, "We The People" get to eat it. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      At least you tried!  Something equivalent or better may come up, and the waiting could be worth it.  Just keep trying and you'll eventually get what you need and want.      For me, having somebody to love was the most important.  Everything else follows after that.  I waited a long time to find somebody...and she ended up leading me to more than I ever thought possible.    Actually, I'm feeling pretty good right now.  I have something work-like outside of my home responsibilities to do for the first time in about 18 months.  Nobody seems to mind the real me.  And this evening, my husband said something that just really made me feel special.  He was rubbing my back, shoulders, and chest while we talked, helping me relax.  He told me that he thought I was really cute in my girl form, but that he thinks my boy form might even be cuter.  And that he's proud of his "smart little Pocket Fox."    For me, the combination of those sweet words and the physical affection was exactly what I needed. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Hi!   That was probably hard to write and then read and say, did I really write that?  Been there.   I'm glad you call it a journey.  It is.  One step at a time, and sometimes two steps forward, one back.    Abby
    • April Marie
      Welcome to the forums, Violet! We glad you found us! No one here will judge you. Each of us is unique yet we all share some similarities. And many of us are in the relative early stages of self-discovery.   Take time to wander the sections of the forums. You’ll find lots of information and ideas.   Ask questions if you feel comfortable. You will find lots of people willing to share their experiences.   Is it possible for you to possibly work with a gender therapist? Many of us have found that to be extremely helpful in finding our identity and out true selves.   Just jump in. We don’t bite! We’ve all been in some version of where you are.
    • April Marie
      Literally. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Shameless plug for my "Taylor" story down in Stories You Write.  I am not Taylor and the experiences she goes through are not what has happened to me, but there is an emotional expression that I think is the best way to say some things that I don't know how to say otherwise.  I am not Bob, either.  But you might find out some things about me by reading it.  And I hope it is a good read and you enjoy it.  I am not done with it.  If you would like to comment on it, I would appreciate it.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Tuesday night.  They had a quick supper together at a fast food place.  Bob went off to teach karate and Taylor locked herself inside her apartment and worked on her hiring plan.   First the web site problem.  The two guys who ran it were self-taught and knew little.  It currently had three pages, the Home page, the About page and the Contact page,  She asked them to work with Karen in terms of redesigning it and she needed three designs to show Gibbs tomorrow.  The problem was three fold: the two guys and Karen.  Millville was a small town and all three were relatives of members of the Board.  Millville, Millvale. She was doing it.  People here called it either way, sometimes in the space of a few seconds.  She thought it was Millville.  All three had complained about the work, because the two boys regarded it as done and untouchable, even though they actually had not worked on it at all for months.  Like a number of people, they showed up and collected generous pay checks and did nothing.  She had looked at a number of websites and she had been told the company wanted one both internal and external customers could log into.  Her chief difficulty at the moment there was that there was very little content.  She decided to send the three complainers out tomorrow to take numerous pictures of the thirty acres  Or was it forty?  No one seemed to care. She cared, because she needed to get it right.  She debated outsourcing the website to a company, but first she needed something to outsource, and before then she needed to decide whether to keep these people.  She didn't need to mess with them.  So she decided to recommend they hire an experienced website developer with management skills. Would such a person come to Millville?  The schools were good, because the company had poured money into them, and the streets were well paved.  The company had bought all the abandoned houses and maintained them, hoping someday they would be filled again. Millville was crime-free.  People did not lock their doors. Neighborly. Very conservative, but in a good way.  Hard working, ethical, honest. Maybe the Chinese money was corrupting the town?  Not sure.  So she thought they would hire someone, even if it were a remote position.  She would rather have them here, but she would take what she would get.  That would move the website out of her hair. Secondly, she needed an effective presenter.  She could not do all these presentations herself.  She had natural talent but a lot could be passed on. She needed another Mary and another Brenda, or their understudies, effective hardworking people.   Bob. Was he okay with this?  He said she was Management.  Was that a problem?  And she was now earning a ridiculous salary, which she put down to company dysfunction more than anything she had done.  Was that a problem? She was not sure.  He was highly competitive and he had that male ego.  She did not.  A feeling of guilt rose.   Her therapist had brought up her feelings of guilt about not making Dad's expectations, never being the man Dad wanted her to be.  She never could, and this physical evidence backed that up.  What would the doctor say?  She thought about it, and that her therapist said she needed to find a sexual assault survivor's group more than a transgender group right now. Was there one here?  She thought about serving in a women's shelter.  There was one here, oddly enough connected to the church they had visited.  That F on her drivers' license would help.  She was waiting until after she talked to the doctor again to move on that stuff.   Was Bob really buying 160 acres near the old air strip on speculation?  Much of the land around Millville had been for sale for a long time.  That land was being offered at a dollar an acre, the owners having inherited it and now living out of state. Common knowledge.  They would take the first offer, and it had been for sale since the airstrip closed twenty years ago. Airstrip.  That would help.  Not tonight. Focus, girl, she told herself, and read over her notes to do so, which were making less sense the further down she went. It was eleven, and she gave up and went to bed.
    • violet r
      .my name is violet. I'm new here and thus is my first try at forums. I'm 45 and just recently having came to terms of who I really am. Thought a lot of self discovery since I stopped drinking. Drinking was my coping mechanism to hide a lot of thing. There were plenty of signs though the years. As I look back. That i hid inside. Now really sure what made all of this bubble to the surface at this time in my life.  Mabye it was waiting for me to be open minded and ready to accept that I am trans. I have a very unhealthy environment at home that is anti trans. I really don't know what else to say but hi. I hope everyone here will be accepting of me and me work through my journey of finding the real me. I know that since I accepted it I have been much happier than I can remember. Being to real me makes me happy. I hate having to hide this all the the time at home. I work retail management and have no idea if I could even stay in this business if I am to fully come out. Wow that was scary saying all that. It's a first for me
    • Ivy
      It is a lifesaver for a lot of us.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Thanks.  What I do as a man is what a woman would do if she were a man.  There is just something feminine about the way I act as a man.  It's not that being a woman is actually better, or something to aspire to, but it is just that I am one, while not being one.   If beating my head bloody to get rid off this stupid dysphoria would fix it I would find the nearest wall, but I know that if I did that, when I woke up, it would still be there.   If I did not have this struggle I would be someone else and I would be less of a person than I am.  They say an oak tree growing in an open field is far stronger than one in a forest.  The storms come and go and I stand.   This forum is the first time I have interacted with other people struggling with the same struggle and parallel struggles. It helps.
    • Ashley0616
      I'm sorry! :( Hopefully something better will come up
    • Ashley0616
      Thank you! Did great with the kids
    • Sally Stone
      That's me too, Mae.  I don't think it's me as much as it is the camera (that's my story anyway).  Cameras hate me.  I never met one that liked me.  I often wish I was photogenic; sadly, not so much.   However, you look terrific in that selfie! 
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...