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Guest Amethyst_Redemption

Instead of SH/SI, I...

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Guest Amethyst_Redemption

I REALLY liked this topic on another forum I am a member of and I thought it would be good here.

Nothing is too big or too small. Lets share how we cope from day to day and turn something we feel is negative into a positive community exercise.

I'll start.

.... Epilated my face (ouch!)

.... Rocked out to some heavy tunes (and danced)

.... had coffee with some friends

.... watched a favorite tv show.

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Guest John Chiv

Spending time with friends, listening to my favorite music, taking a walk.

John

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Guest Robin Winter

I've almost posted this dozens of times in the past, but I always got embarrassed before I could hit "Post". Much like your first one, I rip hair out of my body to replace cutting. I usually do one or a few at a time with tweezers though. I also tend to pick more sensitive areas so it hurts more. I haven't cut at all since I started doing this instead, and it's a productive activity, since I want the hair gone anyway.

Even at my absolute darkest, though, I still haven't managed to find the courage to epilate my face, though I did start to try a few times. That is serious pain.

I must admit, I haven't had the urge to cut in some time now. I'm actually doing quite well, all things considered.

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Guest Roux

Great topic! I hope more people post to this. =)

Loud music and long walks, yes. Those are generally the first things I turn to.

I also take long showers and clean my apartment--being clean makes everything seem better--and if my cats happens to need it, I'll bathe them too. (They'll stare at me with sad eyes, but they don't mind baths enough to make a fuss about it.) If everything's already clean I'll play piano or read.

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Guest Amethyst_Redemption

excellent ideas. :)

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Guest Kallum

This is a good topic :thumbsup:

I generally either:

listen to loud music,

hit a punching bag,

ride my bike,

talk to a friend

walk my dog

do these breathing exersises my psych gave me (I used to hate them but they really help now)

:friends: Kal

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Guest Saloni

I am 35 years old I started banging my head when I was 8 started cutting when I was 15 stopped banging my head when I was 17 I haven't cut in over 3 years. The thing I do mostly now when I get the urge is to exercise intensely with resistance bands. What I did mostly when I was trying to stop was write poetry. When I felt like cutting I'd write one poem about how I was feeling and then I'd attempt writing something funny along the lines of Shel Silverstein my fav of all time (nowhere near as good, keyword attempt)

From Saloni's journal April 2006

If I could have poured out my soul

and you could have seen the bottomless hole

I think you would have stayed

or maybe ran, further than you walked away

If I had the words and I spilled my heart

and you could have seen pure from the start

I think you would have given me your love

or maybe not, now I will never know

If I could bury all this pain

hold it inside then refrain

never to let it go

What would happen to me

Forever blind never to see

what could be

what's the possibilities

Lost sense of me

Lost responsibility

Lost ego

Found sorrow

Found no hope for tomorrow

No light No shadow

Is a jelly fish really a fish?

or is that something that they wish

They aren't even made out of jelly

their mouth is their butt and their belly

They have no vertebra no scales no brain

to call them jellyfish is insane

Saloni

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Guest Fluttershy

I either take a hot shower, try to sleep, sew, or pluck hairs when I'm really upset. It lets me vent the pain and I feel like I'm accomplishing something by getting rid of body hair.

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Guest vagrant_hippo

CRY!

Go wild! punch something, scream, express your emotions!

emotions can't kill you no matter how much it might unconsciously seem like you'll be overwhelmed and never be able to come back.

As long as you're safer in the end.

Me? I have some not entirely healthy things i used to do, and healthier ones:

- Write on yourself in sharpie. Discreetly, or just wash it off the next day. Unless you don't care, in which case, up to you! Sure I wasn't writing positive things, sure the things were often abusive or demeaning, but they were the exact thoughts I was disallowing myself to feel when cutting/burning/purging. It allows you to get the visceral fulfillment of making some kind of mark against the flesh you hate so much for entrapping and limiting you, while secretly expressing what's bothering you more obviously than just wounds (i.e. when I woke the next day and saw what I wrote to hurt myself, I could see what made me feel that way in the first place; seems obvious, but you'd be surprised how much we know but don't know.) And, strangely, my therapist(s) and psychs thought this was a good idea, so hey! Le sceau d'approbation!

- Punching bag, like others said; would hang in the garage and I'd use a pvc pipe; it felt more relieving and more personal since you could swing away with all the pent up energy.

- Singing, of course, always (for every form of hurt; sad, angry, hopeless, afraid). There were times I'd lock myself in my car, crank some metalcore or mcr or whatever expressed it at that time (that was in high school, now it's like crying to the antlers and m83 haha) and just SCREAAAAAAAMMMMM, all of it out. did this at residential too, very Garden State, screaming with a friend or two into the arizona mountains, though most workers said screaming wasn't healthy (totes disagree, just don't do it all the time...and remember to open a door every once in a while so you don't, you know, die ironically.)

- Have a friend over. it's tricky, since you never want someone to be there (though, at least for me...that's ALL I secretly ever wanted, someone to be there for me when I felt that way), or maybe you wanna cut/burn because no one can come be with you--but having that one person or gf/bf be there while you feel like crap and still just chill at the same time...it really makes things easier.

- If you're not ED, eat some comfort/junk food and watch tv--intercourse it, and give yourself the day to feel exactly how you feel.

- A good trick is if you're using music/tv/whatever else influences mood, start with what expresses/depresses your state for a little bit (so you're emotes get their time and are validated), and have a playlist or show order that slowly rises in mood. my ex did this with elliott smith all the time (she wasn't tg or self-harming, but bottled up a lifetime of abuse, still does). Starts with 'Abused' and slowly works up to something like 'Baby Britain' (happier, jangly piano, etc). So yeah, you can START with "Sometime Around Midnight" or "The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot," but make sure you end up on "Here Comes the Sun" and "Sweet Disposition" haha. (or "You Make My Dreams"!!!)

- Paint. Wildly, to music, uninhibited, and uncaring of whether it's good or not. If a picture of a broken toilet is art, then whatever you made is, too.

if all else......write way too much in posts on like every possible forum in LP......totes not something i do though ;)

(sorry about that, btw)

Remember you're gorgeous, remember you're different in a way others can never understand, and that it sucks, but the suffering you feel that most others don't tunes you to life in truer and wider ways that others would never even imagine. It's like faith in The Crucible: True faith comes from caring enough to doubt and question and look for something more in the first place, rather than just idle by habits. I'm not Christian, but I've always loved that book and it applies to living in the same way. You suffer, because you want something better and are willing to look for it when no one else is. And that's ( )ing amazing, yo.

Avoir la paix, mes frères et sœurs! Beaucoup d'amour!!

♥ Caroline

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Guest Nickeatsfood

scream into a pillow

hit a punching bag, or pillow, or something.

listen to music reaaalllly loud

skype with someone i love

call my mom/dad/brother

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Guest Michelle57

Well today was an interesting day for me. I went to my sister's house for one purpose only. I told her that I was transexual going from male to female and that I have been on HRT for a few months now. The expression on her face spoke loud and clear even thou she never said a word as she turned her back on me and walked away. I left and went to some friends that already know about me and told them what had happened. They reminded me of how happy I've been lately now that I decided to move forward towards a new life. They made a good point, why should I remain male and miserable to make her happy because it would be a sure bet that she wouldn't become a male to make me happy. Kind of funny I thought. We listened to Xmas music and drank hot coco and it eventually turned into a party after a few phone call. So I guess mine would be to hang with friends that care about me and lift my spirits and just have a big party.

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Guest meaenglsh

Well today was an interesting day for me. I went to my sister's house for one purpose only. I told her that I was transexual going from male to female and that I have been on HRT for a few months now. The expression on her face spoke loud and clear even thou she never said a word as she turned her back on me and walked away. I left and went to some friends that already know about me and told them what had happened. They reminded me of how happy I've been lately now that I decided to move forward towards a new life. They made a good point, why should I remain male and miserable to make her happy because it would be a sure bet that she wouldn't become a male to make me happy. Kind of funny I thought. We listened to Xmas music and drank hot coco and it eventually turned into a party after a few phone call. So I guess mine would be to hang with friends that care about me and lift my spirits and just have a big party.

i had a similar experience with my ex. eventually she just left the house and never came back after i told her. didn't say much either. i think happiness says it all. i am much happier than i was and after she left i found out what a drag is was to be with her in almost any situation. people change. not many people think about the fact that we can actually pursue happiness. not that i know what i am doing in that area. but i am really really happy so i must be doing something right!

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Guest Michelle57

Oh you are so right meaenglsh. If we are to be happy that burden will fall on us and no one else. You know years ago I got to the point that I didn't think god even existed, then I got to the point that I hated god for making me into something that I couldn't understand or even comprehend. But now I am happy with who and what I am and I wake up every morning thanking god for this new and wonderful life. Sometimes I can't beleive how ironic that is. LOL.

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emilya s

had the depresso back in december because someone abused me and made me feel realy bad about life.. but i wasnt suicidal or self harmy. but just to keep my moods up i work hard to make 2018 much better then 2018 so to start things off

i hug and kiss and play with my cat a lot. got back with my old boyfriend. dyed my hair wich is getting longer. started a project i wanted to do for years. and best of all keep my mental health and mental illness on a leash instead of it keeping me on a leash. i hang out with friends more and generaly so far 2018 is great

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Charlize

It's great to hear you are feeling better.  For me having animals to care for keeps me busy and often lifts my mood if it is down.  We have a flock of goats with 10 kids so far and who knows if i'll have more today.  They all need feed so i need to keep moving!

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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Gwen
15 hours ago, emilya s said:

and best of all keep my mental health and mental illness on a leash instead of it keeping me on a leash.

 

I love this line, Emilya! It's very empowering. As someone who's had these issues in the past, it's wonderful to hear when someone feels more in control of the illness. I hope you continue to make progress and good luck with your hair!

 

Gwen

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      Thanks for your comments and support Jani, Charlize and traci_j. I appreciate your encouragement and I look forward to getting to know others in these forums as I continue my journey.  Cheers,  Julie 
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