Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Sign in to follow this  
Guest Amethyst_Redemption

Instead of SH/SI, I...

Recommended Posts

Guest Amethyst_Redemption

I REALLY liked this topic on another forum I am a member of and I thought it would be good here.

Nothing is too big or too small. Lets share how we cope from day to day and turn something we feel is negative into a positive community exercise.

I'll start.

.... Epilated my face (ouch!)

.... Rocked out to some heavy tunes (and danced)

.... had coffee with some friends

.... watched a favorite tv show.

Share this post

Link to post
Guest John Chiv

Spending time with friends, listening to my favorite music, taking a walk.


Share this post

Link to post
Guest Robin Winter

I've almost posted this dozens of times in the past, but I always got embarrassed before I could hit "Post". Much like your first one, I rip hair out of my body to replace cutting. I usually do one or a few at a time with tweezers though. I also tend to pick more sensitive areas so it hurts more. I haven't cut at all since I started doing this instead, and it's a productive activity, since I want the hair gone anyway.

Even at my absolute darkest, though, I still haven't managed to find the courage to epilate my face, though I did start to try a few times. That is serious pain.

I must admit, I haven't had the urge to cut in some time now. I'm actually doing quite well, all things considered.

Share this post

Link to post
Guest Roux

Great topic! I hope more people post to this. =)

Loud music and long walks, yes. Those are generally the first things I turn to.

I also take long showers and clean my apartment--being clean makes everything seem better--and if my cats happens to need it, I'll bathe them too. (They'll stare at me with sad eyes, but they don't mind baths enough to make a fuss about it.) If everything's already clean I'll play piano or read.

Share this post

Link to post
Guest Amethyst_Redemption

excellent ideas. :)

Share this post

Link to post
Guest Kallum

This is a good topic :thumbsup:

I generally either:

listen to loud music,

hit a punching bag,

ride my bike,

talk to a friend

walk my dog

do these breathing exersises my psych gave me (I used to hate them but they really help now)

:friends: Kal

Share this post

Link to post
Guest Saloni

I am 35 years old I started banging my head when I was 8 started cutting when I was 15 stopped banging my head when I was 17 I haven't cut in over 3 years. The thing I do mostly now when I get the urge is to exercise intensely with resistance bands. What I did mostly when I was trying to stop was write poetry. When I felt like cutting I'd write one poem about how I was feeling and then I'd attempt writing something funny along the lines of Shel Silverstein my fav of all time (nowhere near as good, keyword attempt)

From Saloni's journal April 2006

If I could have poured out my soul

and you could have seen the bottomless hole

I think you would have stayed

or maybe ran, further than you walked away

If I had the words and I spilled my heart

and you could have seen pure from the start

I think you would have given me your love

or maybe not, now I will never know

If I could bury all this pain

hold it inside then refrain

never to let it go

What would happen to me

Forever blind never to see

what could be

what's the possibilities

Lost sense of me

Lost responsibility

Lost ego

Found sorrow

Found no hope for tomorrow

No light No shadow

Is a jelly fish really a fish?

or is that something that they wish

They aren't even made out of jelly

their mouth is their butt and their belly

They have no vertebra no scales no brain

to call them jellyfish is insane


Share this post

Link to post
Guest Fluttershy

I either take a hot shower, try to sleep, sew, or pluck hairs when I'm really upset. It lets me vent the pain and I feel like I'm accomplishing something by getting rid of body hair.

Share this post

Link to post
Guest vagrant_hippo


Go wild! punch something, scream, express your emotions!

emotions can't kill you no matter how much it might unconsciously seem like you'll be overwhelmed and never be able to come back.

As long as you're safer in the end.

Me? I have some not entirely healthy things i used to do, and healthier ones:

- Write on yourself in sharpie. Discreetly, or just wash it off the next day. Unless you don't care, in which case, up to you! Sure I wasn't writing positive things, sure the things were often abusive or demeaning, but they were the exact thoughts I was disallowing myself to feel when cutting/burning/purging. It allows you to get the visceral fulfillment of making some kind of mark against the flesh you hate so much for entrapping and limiting you, while secretly expressing what's bothering you more obviously than just wounds (i.e. when I woke the next day and saw what I wrote to hurt myself, I could see what made me feel that way in the first place; seems obvious, but you'd be surprised how much we know but don't know.) And, strangely, my therapist(s) and psychs thought this was a good idea, so hey! Le sceau d'approbation!

- Punching bag, like others said; would hang in the garage and I'd use a pvc pipe; it felt more relieving and more personal since you could swing away with all the pent up energy.

- Singing, of course, always (for every form of hurt; sad, angry, hopeless, afraid). There were times I'd lock myself in my car, crank some metalcore or mcr or whatever expressed it at that time (that was in high school, now it's like crying to the antlers and m83 haha) and just SCREAAAAAAAMMMMM, all of it out. did this at residential too, very Garden State, screaming with a friend or two into the arizona mountains, though most workers said screaming wasn't healthy (totes disagree, just don't do it all the time...and remember to open a door every once in a while so you don't, you know, die ironically.)

- Have a friend over. it's tricky, since you never want someone to be there (though, at least for me...that's ALL I secretly ever wanted, someone to be there for me when I felt that way), or maybe you wanna cut/burn because no one can come be with you--but having that one person or gf/bf be there while you feel like crap and still just chill at the same time...it really makes things easier.

- If you're not ED, eat some comfort/junk food and watch tv--intercourse it, and give yourself the day to feel exactly how you feel.

- A good trick is if you're using music/tv/whatever else influences mood, start with what expresses/depresses your state for a little bit (so you're emotes get their time and are validated), and have a playlist or show order that slowly rises in mood. my ex did this with elliott smith all the time (she wasn't tg or self-harming, but bottled up a lifetime of abuse, still does). Starts with 'Abused' and slowly works up to something like 'Baby Britain' (happier, jangly piano, etc). So yeah, you can START with "Sometime Around Midnight" or "The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot," but make sure you end up on "Here Comes the Sun" and "Sweet Disposition" haha. (or "You Make My Dreams"!!!)

- Paint. Wildly, to music, uninhibited, and uncaring of whether it's good or not. If a picture of a broken toilet is art, then whatever you made is, too.

if all else......write way too much in posts on like every possible forum in LP......totes not something i do though ;)

(sorry about that, btw)

Remember you're gorgeous, remember you're different in a way others can never understand, and that it sucks, but the suffering you feel that most others don't tunes you to life in truer and wider ways that others would never even imagine. It's like faith in The Crucible: True faith comes from caring enough to doubt and question and look for something more in the first place, rather than just idle by habits. I'm not Christian, but I've always loved that book and it applies to living in the same way. You suffer, because you want something better and are willing to look for it when no one else is. And that's ( )ing amazing, yo.

Avoir la paix, mes frères et sœurs! Beaucoup d'amour!!

♥ Caroline

Share this post

Link to post
Guest Nickeatsfood

scream into a pillow

hit a punching bag, or pillow, or something.

listen to music reaaalllly loud

skype with someone i love

call my mom/dad/brother

Share this post

Link to post
Guest Michelle57

Well today was an interesting day for me. I went to my sister's house for one purpose only. I told her that I was transexual going from male to female and that I have been on HRT for a few months now. The expression on her face spoke loud and clear even thou she never said a word as she turned her back on me and walked away. I left and went to some friends that already know about me and told them what had happened. They reminded me of how happy I've been lately now that I decided to move forward towards a new life. They made a good point, why should I remain male and miserable to make her happy because it would be a sure bet that she wouldn't become a male to make me happy. Kind of funny I thought. We listened to Xmas music and drank hot coco and it eventually turned into a party after a few phone call. So I guess mine would be to hang with friends that care about me and lift my spirits and just have a big party.

Share this post

Link to post
Guest meaenglsh

Well today was an interesting day for me. I went to my sister's house for one purpose only. I told her that I was transexual going from male to female and that I have been on HRT for a few months now. The expression on her face spoke loud and clear even thou she never said a word as she turned her back on me and walked away. I left and went to some friends that already know about me and told them what had happened. They reminded me of how happy I've been lately now that I decided to move forward towards a new life. They made a good point, why should I remain male and miserable to make her happy because it would be a sure bet that she wouldn't become a male to make me happy. Kind of funny I thought. We listened to Xmas music and drank hot coco and it eventually turned into a party after a few phone call. So I guess mine would be to hang with friends that care about me and lift my spirits and just have a big party.

i had a similar experience with my ex. eventually she just left the house and never came back after i told her. didn't say much either. i think happiness says it all. i am much happier than i was and after she left i found out what a drag is was to be with her in almost any situation. people change. not many people think about the fact that we can actually pursue happiness. not that i know what i am doing in that area. but i am really really happy so i must be doing something right!

Share this post

Link to post
Guest Michelle57

Oh you are so right meaenglsh. If we are to be happy that burden will fall on us and no one else. You know years ago I got to the point that I didn't think god even existed, then I got to the point that I hated god for making me into something that I couldn't understand or even comprehend. But now I am happy with who and what I am and I wake up every morning thanking god for this new and wonderful life. Sometimes I can't beleive how ironic that is. LOL.

Share this post

Link to post
emilya s

had the depresso back in december because someone abused me and made me feel realy bad about life.. but i wasnt suicidal or self harmy. but just to keep my moods up i work hard to make 2018 much better then 2018 so to start things off

i hug and kiss and play with my cat a lot. got back with my old boyfriend. dyed my hair wich is getting longer. started a project i wanted to do for years. and best of all keep my mental health and mental illness on a leash instead of it keeping me on a leash. i hang out with friends more and generaly so far 2018 is great

Share this post

Link to post

It's great to hear you are feeling better.  For me having animals to care for keeps me busy and often lifts my mood if it is down.  We have a flock of goats with 10 kids so far and who knows if i'll have more today.  They all need feed so i need to keep moving!





Share this post

Link to post
15 hours ago, emilya s said:

and best of all keep my mental health and mental illness on a leash instead of it keeping me on a leash.


I love this line, Emilya! It's very empowering. As someone who's had these issues in the past, it's wonderful to hear when someone feels more in control of the illness. I hope you continue to make progress and good luck with your hair!



Share this post

Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • Who's Online   9 Members, 0 Anonymous, 16 Guests (See full list)

    • CyndiRae
    • Jani
    • Natalie86
    • VickySGV
    • ChelseaAnn
    • Cela
    • Sandra6sandy9sand
    • Maid In Bedlam
    • Cthorne
  • Who Was Online

    101 Users were Online in the Last 48 Hours
    • Jani
    • Natalie86
    • CyndiRae
    • BrandiBri
    • VickySGV
    • ChelseaAnn
    • Cela
    • Sandra6sandy9sand
    • Maid In Bedlam
    • Cthorne
    • Roberta-Belinda
    • Anna75
    • MaryEllen
    • Kris
    • Petra Jane
    • Martyn
    • Marbabar
    • Noelia6
    • stbSusan
    • EnbieCutie
    • jae bear
    • JJ
    • Kirsten
    • Jojo
    • Charlize
    • MaryMary
    • DrumbeatAlex
    • Julie J
    • KeiraC
    • KoreyA
    • Laxmi Siriwat
    • ejen
    • Janeshannon
    • Sharon Aml
    • doni
    • tracy_j
    • PaulaPlaytex
    • Emilio
    • Carolyn Marie
    • Clara84
    • samuel
    • claire1000
    • DenimAndLace
    • gski
    • Annie
    • Rachael
    • Xavier/Aria
    • Lizzie McTrucker
    • Amy joey
    • Queenie
    • Luna L
    • Abigail3051
    • Lauryn Michelle
    • Avra
    • Erika_E
    • Dev
    • Paul Rankeillor
    • Carly murr
    • Elyssia
    • Amy LeBlanc
    • Dakota16
    • Miae_Flame
    • Naomi Knowles
    • Ravin
    • Leo ray
    • Lina
    • Cmattison
    • Jill55
    • JBfox
    • Tommyftm
    • Willow
    • Laura Beth
    • Sydneyblue
    • ChickenLittle
    • April
    • Cluck1992
    • Myka.L
    • Rowan
    • Timber Wolf
    • Terry
    • Briana
    • 001dmc23
    • Connor_isnt.ok
    • Cheyenne skye
    • Casi
    • Jennifer 123
    • RikkiWilson
    • jade2003bs
    • ironemerson77
    • Cat Lady Kelly
    • Nikki5feet3
    • TiaMaria
    • AngieGirl
    • Steve Stewart
    • Falnone
    • Michelle F
    • Regn
    • Lukas
    • DraiksWrath
    • KymmieL
    • barbra e
  • Topics With Zero Replies

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
    • Total Posts
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
    • Most Online

    Newest Member
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. JadeyCat
    2. Snow Princess Sophie
      Snow Princess Sophie
      (27 years old)
  • Posts

    • Natalie86
      Hi Chelsea         Wow, I am happy things are finally going so well for you. I am not sure what I am just yet I was born male and know that I feel female. I am still on a road of discovery about myself. If you'd like to talk I'll listen.      Natalie
    • ChelseaAnn
      How do I join the server?
    • ChelseaAnn
      I am an avid MTG player, even though I've slowed down on my purchases due to saving money. Anyone else play? I've bought cards recently from Dominaria, but I'd love to find people to play with, maybe via Skype? I font play the online version, because, well... $$$. I also prefer the feel of a real card over a mouse.
    • ChelseaAnn
      Hello everyone, my name is Chelsea. I was born make but dream to be female. That dream is getting closer, but has been snagged from me a few times.    I'll keep things short, because I have a blog which describes things in more detail if you're interested. I came out back in 2013, only a few months after my son was born. I was cross dressing while my wife was at work and my son slept. I came to a realization that I wouldn't be able to hide it forever, and took the big step.   After nearly divorcing, my life is back on track and my wife and I have a five year old and a two year old. I have a great job, which isn't aware of my plans yet. Transition is only a few years away, even though I was weeks away from starting at the beginning of last year.   I was suicidal not long after I came out, and have only had thoughts a few times since, when large snags came up that made it seem like I'd never be able to transition. I'm good now though.   I came here to seek new friends and discuss things, as well as help those who are where I was five years ago. I'd really like to have a few friends who are trans or anything on the spectrum. I have some great friends (read family) who are 100% supportive, but only 2 who are under the trans community. So I am really looking for someone to be able to talk to who I can be openly honest and understanding with.
    • Cthorne
      So many things are going on now.   I'm Callum 100% of the time including at work (that was scary but it makes me feel so good! Except when my boss asks awkward questions in front of everyone and decides that I must have issues with my "downstairs" Her and a male co-worker were joking about certain parts of his body but anyway) My whole family call me Callum 24/7  there are still a few mix ups but those that are finding it difficult call me CJ (Callum James) I can finally bind!!(I only do it when I leave the house.) So happy altho I've noticed that it hurts when I take it off, I don't have any pain while wearing my binder, is this nomal? I was very very very surprised but my family bought up the idea of us going to the pride parade... I wasn't even going to mention it but they said it looks interesting and have now decided we are going to two different ones. We're going to the one at the end of this month because a distant family member goes to the same one with her gay son, shes offered to show us around and then the second one is in the place we live very excited!! The whole family is going!! Even my brothers who were very "no no no" When I joked about it when I came out to them.   I just... I don't have the words... This is amazing and I find myself worried I'm going to wake up and its all a dream. I don't wanna get too used to it in case it all goes wrong or gets wrecked (I hope this makes sense)   I did have a very strange moment and I was just wondering if anyone gets what I mean or if I'm just imaging it but as I said Callum  mode 24/7 but last week I had to go back to my female clothing and its like all my awkwardness and hating myself came back, my confidence just faded away... I could feel myself not wanting to be a part of the world and I felt so down.... Does this make sense? Now I'm back to normal and I'm the life of the party again lol What a strange life I lead.   Any thoughts folks?   *happy contented sigh*
    • MaryEllen
      It's been done.
    •  Roberta-Belinda
      Hello Mary Ellen.Yes,please change my name back to Roberta-Belinda,Thank you so much.
    •  Roberta-Belinda
      For the first time in all my 46 years of dressing as a girl,I have gone without wearing tights.The weather here in the Uk has been so warm for so many weeks it is not practical to wear hose.I love my tights as they make my legs look great but I have not minded going bare legged.Tights can be very uncomfortable im warm weather.Most women over here do not wear tights in this hot weather.As it is always my intention to emulate genetic women I am happy to dress like they do in the summer.Without tights I wear open toed sandles and mules.It's funny in male mode when I am out I never wear mens ooen toed sandals or flip flops and wear shoes with socks.I have never been comfortable in displaying feet.However,in female mode I do not mind doing this.Must be something to do with the duality of crossdressing.
    • MaryEllen
      Hello Roberta,   I can change your name if you'd like. I assume it would be Roberta-Belinda. I'll hold off until you've seen this so you won't have any problems signing in next time.
    •  Roberta-Belinda
      I came out to my wife fourteen years ago.When had the talk with her she was shocked and things got brushed under the carpet.Hoeever,two years ago dressed as Roberta ostensibly to test her reaction.She fled into the other room but the next day she started to slowly come around.She said she woulc launder my clothes and my tights for me.She also said she would buy all my femme cllthes for me.She didn't want me to be seen buying womens stuff by myself just in csse I saw people I know.Her cordial attitude came on in leaps and bounds after that.She actively encouraged me by offering to treat me to lots of skirts,dresses,hosiery,shoes.As we are both rdtired I am dressed en femme nearly every day these days.She constantly tells me how nicd I look dressed,sometimes saying I look better than some natural born women.Tbe other great thing is we have pretty much the same taste in clothes and there is only four years age difference.If she ever runs out of tights,I gave her some of my multipacks and she then buys more for me.I like to think that we are good girly pals.She does say that she prefers me as a man but deep down I think she regards me as her best girly pal.I have told her that if I had been born a woman she would bd my closest woman buddy.We are more or less like that nlw.But I think there are times that I should asert my masculine side and perform my husbandly duties,which is only fair
    • Natalie86
      BrandiBri, I have been looking but it is almost impossible to find one here in SC. Also I really don't have the money to see one right now but I am continuing to search. Thank you
    • BrandiBri
      Hi Natalie, I would suggest finding a good gender therapist as a first step. This may seem hard to do, I know it was hard for me, but it was the best thing that I did to finding myself. 
    •  Roberta-Belinda
      My wife buys my clothes for me.I go with her in male mode.We have very similar tastes and mostly shop at places that cater for middle aged girls like us.Our favourite is the uk chain store Bon Marche.They have some great stuff there and we often get discount stamps.We used to love M&S but instore they have gone downhill.The dresses are woefully old fashioned and uglIy.I find their online stuff to be better.We akso buy from the mail order company Damart.We love their stuff we have great fun browsing through the many catallgues they post to us 
    • jae bear
      Hi Paula ,  Welcome to the forum!  I have been thinking a lot about adding a bra to my daily clothing, after a year of estrogen I really need to get serious about supporting my girls. Baggy T-shirts just aren’t enough these days, and now that I wear women’s jeans and T-shirts  all the time it’s getting harder to hide what’s happening due to the HRT. I did order something on eBay and measured as carefully as I could so hopefully the 44A  bra that shows up in the mail fits just fine, otherwise I will order again and readjust.( I might need a B cup )  I hope you’re finding the support you’re looking for here, we all love to talk about every subject you could imagine, it’s always a good idea to start in the introductions area so people get to know you, that’s where I started and I’ve made some amazing friends along the way!   It really is amazing that your friends and family are so loving and accepting, it always feels good when your friends and family understand us enough to accept who we are, I’m so glad your family is loving and accepting, they are such an important part  of our lives .  Hugs,   Jackie 
    • Natalie86
      Hi everyone   I am new here and recently introduced myself. I am not sure who I am anymore. When I am home and I can be female I am happy. When I have to out of course I am male and I am not completely unhappy in my male life I just feel unhappy in male clothes, using a mens room. Even talking to other men is uncomfortable for me because I never fit in as "male" I have always felt a strong feminine side and I am much more comfortable talking to and interacting with women . Other than being male everything seems fine the usual ups and downs of life. I am searching for the woman in me. I don't know how to go about finding her. Any advice would be so very much appreciated.    Natalie
  • Upcoming Events