Well, You Decide-Effects of T When You are Older

[JJ]

Thanks again everybody

Drea -I want to thank you for bringing that weight loss issue up because though your argument sounds logical when the realities of physiology are brought in it actually proves the power of T and it needs to be pointed out that the results would have been more dramatic had I not had such a radical weight loss.

One of my fears and one of the things that almost held me back was my age and weight. You see at 63 (which I was then) skin has lost it's elasticity and instead of making me look masculine any significant weight loss-even 20 or 30 lbs much less the 180 I needed to lose-would tend to leave loose skin that made me looked blurred and less masculine rather than more. I expected to look like a candle left too long in the sun. It is an inescapable reality of age and weight loss. I had lost 40 lbs about 5 years ago and that was indeed the case as the skin on my face sagged. Sadly gained it back and some of the sag still never left. Age is a reality I cannot change.

But T has been an unexpected blessing there. Because it also changed my skin-it has thickened my lifelong too thin skin by at least 5X. For the first time in my life I don't get cut and bleed when I bump into something. (In fact the scratching I have done as an outlet no longer works. Too frustrating with this thick skin) That has caused the blurring to be less horrible than anticipated. I still have a softening from extra skin-and you can see it if you look at my current pic. It has aged me a lot as well. But the loss of the female fat layer and the increased muscle definition in my face has offset it more than I ever dared dream or hope.

And I wish I had before and after of my body shape because there is where the real change is. I do have some pics somewhere of me 15 years ago at this weight which show my figure and I'll find them one of these days. Suffice it to say the change is dramatic.

Below are 2 pics at about the same weight-I was about 20 lbs lighter in the one at 50. One when I was 50 and one taken yesterday at 64. One is a studio shot but a cheap studio and there was no retouch. That is how I looked. The one yesterday is not retouched. I don't retouch my pics. Now you tell me if I looked masculine at this weight and the weight loss caused the angles and planes of my face to look masculine rather than the T. My cheekbones were rounded and my skin was soft. No one ever said Sir as they do now though I often dressed similarly and unconsciously wore hats etc in a male mode.

I believe had I been a normal weight when I began T the effects would have been much more dramatic because I would not have all this skin to cover the changes as much as they do. I also believe that, even though there is a real degree of it, T saved me from looking really horrible. Do some research. Look at pics of what happens to people who lose even 50 lbs at my age. Look at pics of what happens to people who lose over 100 lbs at any age and you'll see what T has done. I've lost 160+ lbs now.

Oh BTW the hair cut is the same in that 1st set of pics. I was 2 months into transition. It had come over on my forehead and I hated it but the pics were the ones that matches best so I used it. I had also already lost over 20 lbs. I have pics taken of me in full female mode about 4 years ago-I gained about 35 lbs after they were taken but they will leave you in no doubt that they were me, that the weight loss is real and T has made an enormous difference. I'll post them if you want.

One last and critical point. T will change your voice and thicken your skin. It will give you hair in lots of new places and make mental changes, but how it affects your body is in large part up to you. You won't lose that female fat layer unless you lose weight and you won't develop muscles unless you exercise them. And yes there are even exercises for face muscles and I do them occasionally. T can work wonders-if you make it . Of course how you look is not the most important part of your presentation but those of us who suffer body dysphoria know it isn't just about passing and being seen as male-it's about feeling connected to your body. It's about recognizing the face in the mirror at last. More than anything else for me it's seeing a man when I see me.

Lord help me I think it looks kind of like this could be a father/daughter picture set. I'll still take today.

Johnny

[Guest Jenny C]

What a life !!! I would so much want to look as you were then... I would have been please to be your daughter ;-)

I'll pretend I am somehow ;-) dear father... ;-)

Love

Jenny

[JJ]

I'm very flattered Jenny. I'd love that.

Sweet daughter

Johnny

[Guest Gregg Jameson]

Hi Johnny!

Thanks so much for sharing!

I had been lurking here for awhile. I had really been doubting I'd had any options, especially at my age.

Yet, many things you have shared, on this thread and on others, have given me some hope.

I won't get into the details here.

You look great! You are an incredibly handsome gentleman!

Most of all, I am impressed with your own happiness with the choices you have made for yourself!

Thanks for sharing and for setting an outstanding example, for inspiring others to follow their hearts.

Enjoy life!

Brad

[Guest whippersnapped]

You look so much more relaxed and less guarded. Your eyes shine. And yes, you're very handsome too.

[Alex59]

I dont know, looking at these two pictures you are DEFINATLY more manly in the one to the right, very handsome, passable man :] but, I just cant put my finger on it WHAT the difference is, if you know what I mean x

[Guest]

Hi Johnny,

Your latest avatar is even more telling! Amazing progress - and yes, she was beautiful - but, we know that's only skin deep. We see the real beautiful you now!

Keep that going!

Love, Megan

[Guest Kael147]

Jeez dude - your pic is wicked! I'm encouraged to know it works!

Kael

[JJ]

Thanks everybody! I honestly just don't see myself as handsome but I Am satisfied with how I look and that is what really matters I think.

It's still nice to hear the affirmation from everyone

Johnny

[Guest MissSiul]

Huge changes!the face is no that round as it used to be,it have more definition,the eyes

changed a lot to,the jaw the nose

The most amazing FtM hormones effects I've seen

Congratulations^^

Hugs

[Guest fintube61]

John - I too am a late bloomer. I turned 50 in October and started T in January of this year. To make matters a bit more complicated, my endo is having me start out on gel which is also supposed to take a bit longer than injections. I'm trying to remember to be patient - it's hard when I feel like I'm off to such a late start!

[Bulldog1948]

John - I too am a late bloomer. I turned 50 in October and started T in January of this year. To make matters a bit more complicated, my endo is having me start out on gel which is also supposed to take a bit longer than injections. I'm trying to remember to be patient - it's hard when I feel like I'm off to such a late start!

You will still be amazed, even starting at 50] how quickly you will begin to notice the little changes that happen.

I see that you're on the gel. Well, over the years I've been on the pill [ now rarely if ever used] , the gel and also the shots. The good thing about the gel is that you don't have to worry about the injection site and the rare possibilty of hitting a vein.

But, with your already masculine facial appearance, you shouldn't have any problems becoming even more masculine looking. One caution, be sure that you follow your drs advice on the T-, otherwise too much of it can cause medical problems that you don't want to have to deal with.

Mike

[Guest Jaques]

ive only just joined the site, johny you do look very masculine since T, i began at 58 and am now 63, so late in life as you did, i found i didnt need so much T (as indeed any bio guy wouldnt) as a younger person, so i have half the dose, i still have a beard - the avatar photo is 3 yrs old, i dont have any recent closeups, i do look even more masculine now and have lost quite a bit of hair, i found with T i also put on weight and my BP and colestorol went up very high, i know T is steroid based so not surprised, id be interested to hear how you are in that respect. I too looked very feminine before i took T, i had my chest op. 10 mths after i began the hormones.

This was how i looked before.............

[img=http://i199.photobucket.com/albums/aa44/Dragking1/Jacquelyn.jpg]

[Guest Jaques]

This was how i looked before.............

[img=http://i199.photobucket.com/albums/aa44/Dragking1/Jacquelyn.jpg]

..................guess ive not figured out how to post photos on here, dont seem the same as other sites, any guidance appreciated, thanks.........J

[MaryEllen]

Hello Jaques,

When you are making a post, at the lower right of the page, click on "More Reply Options". Click on "Attachments". This will give you the option of uploading a photo. Make sure the picture isn't too large. Usually a 4'X4' photo will come through okay.

MaryEllen

[Guest ShaunaMichelle]

Only 9 months?!? I don't think you would EVER raise an eyebrow based on looks! Way to go Johnny!

Shauna

[JJ]

Also when using Photobucket use the direct link button and copy it into the box you get when you click on the image icon above

So far my blood pressure was slightly elevated but I started out with a low blood pressure condition that is genetic in my family. My diet in the weight loss has almost no cholesterol-like less than 15% of normal allowed-so that has not been a problem. I'm due for tests again this month sometime and I'll see what it says then. I'm on a fairly high dose because that is what feels best to my system without side effects so far. I have Lupus with Fibromyalgia and tests have shown that T makes a huge difference in treating fibro. More studies are being done now but I have observed a real difference. I also needed to offset the atrophy from the three years I was primarily bedridden which this dose of T accomplished. My Dr is not very up on T and so we are playing it by ear. There are no resources in my area at all or any Drs. familiar with T. I am in fact the only TS person ever known in my large county.

I'm losing some hair at the temples as I add it elsewhere My beard is a real mix of textures and colors-one of the odd things happening is black hair coming in both on my head and beard. I'm naturally blond so it's been a real surprise . One side of my family all have black hair and blue eyes and it was unusual for me to be blond like my father. I suppose the T is causing dormant genes to activate?

Because I'm familiar with Photobucket I got your pic to work for me. Wow! That is an amazing change. You have probably gotten the same comments I have "But you were such a beautiful woman!" . I just smile and say "Maybe. But I am a HAPPY man". Your avatar shows a handsome happy man to me. I find after just a few months of always being seen as male I don't even think about it anymore in public. I didn't realize how many people weren't using any gender references for awhile till I started hearing it all the time when I am in public.

I am so glad to finally meet someone who transitioned late FTM as well and look forward to hearing more from you

Johnny

[Guest Jaques]

thank you both, i did an album..............my heads chopped off in a couple but if ya click on the one of me with a skirt on, you can see..........lol!

thank you Johnny, its so good to meet someone else whos transitioned later in life also - i dont know anyone else though do know quite a lot of transmen from british based websites. You were a very pretty looking lady but have also changed very much so in that you look extremely masculine. Im getting quite panicky about my hair, as you will see from my photos before T, i have lost quite a bit, the avatar is 3 yrs old, havent got a recent closeup but its receded yet my family males arent thin on top at all - im lucky in that i have only a few grey hairs - guess its choose your parents well, haha!

Wow, i am very impressed with the improvement T has made to your life on a physical level, its amazing. Im going up to london at the end of the month to see Richard Curtis, who is my endo. and also a transman, because i feel T has done its job for me and i dont want this hi BP and baldness to get worse, however, i had a hysto. in the 90's so wouldnt have any hormones if i didnt get the T shots once every 13 weeks, so think it may be a bad idea - will see.

My missus is an absolute brick, she has always encouraged me to transition, which is what ive wanted to do for a long time, and has been very supportive- my chest op. went wrong and i almost lost my nipples but in the end it looks pretty good now and im covered in hair now so covers up the scars.

Great chatting with you all.............i originally came on here to see if i could get any advice on coming off T and how it might affect me, but now im really enjoying the site generally and look forward to reading more threads when i get time. My missus's family are coming over the easter period for a week and im off to see my grand daughter also, so will be busy.........thanks again for your reply and help

[Guest Jaques]

To follow on from my last post, i would be grateful for any advice on coming off T, has anyone who has had a hystorectomy, meaning there will be no hormones, experience of that after several years?

[JJ]

Jacques -Sorry to be so long answering.

There are a number of very important things in my understanding about going off T. My primary concern would be that you could end up with Fibromyalgia if you don't maintain enough T in your body. One study has confirmed that low T is the culprit behind the complex of syndromes-Fibro, CF etc. Both male and female bodied people require a level of T in their systems for body function. With men it has been diagnosed as low T and with women as Fibro. etc. Makes sense since T levels have been shown to be steadily declining in the whole population in recent decades. There is a large study underway but in 85% of the people treated with T there was a massive improvement for those on T over those on placebo. Your endo may not be aware of this as it is new and it may be a good idea to do some research. I have Fibro and can say that it will devastate your life eventually. I wouldn't risk it for anything. In fact the massive improvement in my life quality with Fibro after starting T led me to research if there was any known link and that is how I found the study. There are some quack things out there about it but this is a hard science real study and not one of those.

Also when you go off T the female fat distribution patterns re-emerge and muscle mass as well as stamina decreases. Have you seen what happens to people like The Rock when they discontinued their excess T use? Most go back because they lose so much strength, stamina and mass. It ages you in a way. We would not have that same degree of loss I imagine but much of the masculinization of T is not permanent. Just voice and beard primarily from what I have read.

Also because our bodies require hormones for numerous bodily functions including bone strength -either T or E at some level if you go off T they have to then put you on E. I can't even imagine doing that

And lastly I can't imagine facing life without this feeling of being right that T gives me. I don't think it is psychological but physical. I wasn't expecting it -can't quite describe the exact feeling but just would never want to lose it.

I guess if I was facing male pattern baldness I'd start saving for a hair transplant or a toupee. I can't imagine going off T for any reason. The idea fills me with something akin to panic. So maybe I am not the most objective person.

But there is quite a bit of information and evidence out on the net. Hudson's probably has some good info on it as well.

Maybe not what you were hoping to hear but these are the facts I've gleaned in two years of intensive reading about T. And my personal experiences

Johnny

[Guest Jaques]

thank you Johnny, i didnt know about the fibro thing. I did know about the rest but i know i didnt have hi BP or cholestorol till 3 mths after i began T injections, plus i put on 28 lbs in weight all round my middle after being slim all my life and cant shift it, i know often you need to do your own research as endos dont know or tell you everything - i recently found on the net T can decrease the affect of my BP tablets which is probably why they dont work and my bp is stilll high. My hair isnt just going thin, its actually falling out and i dont know one guy whos been on T that hasnt lost a good amount of hair after a few yrs. I dont feel its just male pattern baldness. I guess theres a lot to consider. The other thing is that when i had a hystorectomy i kept my ovaries as i was much younger and needed the hormones, so i will need to get them removed because of the cancer risk associated with T after a few years. I saw the local hospital endo yesterday about that.

I do know that older people of both gender can stay healthy with normal hormone loss. I have a lot to think about. Its weighing one thing up against another and as my cholestorol keeps going up, even with careful diet, and i dont want to take pills for it, which ive tried and they make me feel terrible, plus there are lots of bad side affects with statins, i need to make a decision one way or the other. Apart from the usual aches and pains you get with age, i have always been fit and well, so maybe for me the affects of T are more negative than for you, as from what i have read on your "about me" - which i found very interesting btw, you had a lot of physical problems. On the plus side, they have certainly changed my appearance so i pass 100% whereas before, as youve seen from my pic. i couldnt have done without it. I always had slim hips so i dont think the fat redistribution will make me look feminine again. I feel if i lose any more hair i will be devastated. As for the stamina, well i take vitamins/minerals and do chi gung, walk a lot to keep fit, there are elderly peoplei would guess in their late 70's or older round here i see running in the park! Sometimes, i guess its genes, "choose your parents carefully".....lol! Well theres gota be a lighter side to everything, yeh?

Thank you again Johnny!

[Guest Jaques]

yesterday i went to London to see my gender specialist Richard curtis who ive consulted 4 times now since beginning T, so hes well aware of my situation, and was relieved to find he also had the same problems. I had thought i would have to come off to relieve the symptoms but he suggested doing what he has, which is to rub into the top of my arm, small amounts of testogell and see how the symptoms go, how i feel on it and them maybe introduce some estrogen to counteract any menopausal symptoms, due to only having a tiny amount of Testosterone - he said some people dont tollerate it at all, some have similar problems or others and the older you get any drug becomes more problematic, so when my next jab is due in around l.5 months, will start the gell and see how it goes. His hi blood pressure went!

I cant tell you how relieved i was to hear there was another option, as i thought if i stop T altogether, i could have big problems, having no hormones at all, as you mentioned Johnny! Hope you are well.............

[JJ]

That is good news Jacques-thanks for sharing. I was just thinking about you and wondering what was happening.

And I will admit I look at my hairline more often since your post So far it has receded to the point my grandfather and great grandfather on my mother's side did. My great grandfather had really thick hair when he died in his 90s . Since I have had more than a double thickness of hair I can afford quite a loss-in fact then it might not have such a tendency to do it's own thing but I have noticed it is barely growing. I can go a couple of months between haircuts. I'd hate to lose my hair and do understand how traumatic that must be but still can't imagine life without T. Maybe in a few more years I'll feel differently.

I'm doing great. Eating more and actually getting smaller where I want but putting on more muscle visibly. It has been a major challenge getting myself to eat more. I do have a checkup later this month and I'll know then how well I really am doing.

Hope the gel works well for you. I live with a female child approaching puberty and a female of child bearing age so the gel was just too big a risk for me. And more trouble than I wanted to go through with washing clothes separately and making sure there was no possibility of residue in the tub etc. Will you be using the new stronger gel? I have heard that it is easier to use and more effective than the old gel.

Good luck with it.-I hope it works great

Johnny

[Guest Jaques]

glad you are putting on the weight and muscle in the right places Johnny, i remember when i went on a food combining diet in the 90's, because of too much stomach acidity and getting athritis in my hip, the acidity went, so did the athritis and i lost weight though i ate more - i looked at your edgar cayce site and see he mentions not mixing starch and protein, which is the hay diet too, same type of thing - the amazing thing is that it puts on weight if you need to and takes it off if youre overweight. I was also vegetarian then, now im with a partner, ll years tomoro - she does all the cooking and i eat what im given, though i dont overeat, i dont food combine and now take cider vinegar & bicarb. soda in water to counteract any acidity which causes joint and all sorts of problems in the body.

Far as the gell goes, it wont start till my last T shots up, about l.5 mths - will let you know how it goes. The endo said some people, esp young people, can take massive doses of T and be fine but others just cant. Yes, if there are any younsters around, you would need to lock it in a cabinet - the missus said she'd better not rub up against me in case she grows a moustache, lol! I didnt know you had to wash clothes separately - however im going to rub it in at night, i sleep alone since we both snore - so as it takes 6 hrs to absorb, i shower in a morning, so shouldnt be a problem. When we go camping, we have to sleep in the same tent so she will have to wear a loose top, we are off to cornwall on the south west coast of england later this month or early june, when the weathers good, i just discovered a new campsite called "the secret garden", there are only enough pitches for a few tents so sounds wonderful............its our bank holiday here starting lst may and in Hastings where i live, there are groups of morris dancers who dance in the dawn on lst may at 4 am on the west hill, overlooking the sea and all week there are festivities, monday is the Jack in the Green day, it was a pagan festival basically to do with fertility but now just a lovely family day with a huge procession, music & dancing in the castle grounds, everyone take a picnic, and culminating in the slaying of the Jack, when all his leaves are torn off and if you get one you will have good luck throughout the coming year, so i always make sure I get a whole bunch.......praying now for sunshine, we have floods here at the moment! if you are interested and look at 1066 online you can see photos or on you tube, Hastings Jack in the Green.............gotta go buy the missus a present and card now for our anniversary and get my hair cut...........have a good weekend

[Guest Alternative Emo]

Johnny,

Your photos are inspiring. I have to say that everyone else was right about seeing a sparkle or a light that wasn't present before. These photos are so encouraging and that confidence you have in how you present yourself is great. This reaffirmed my decision to get on T. Thank you so much for that.