Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0
Laura

The Number One Reply, I'm Not Sure

46 posts in this topic

One of the questions chat moderators ask new chatters in an interview is are you cd, tg, ts, Intersex, androgyne? It's a pretty standard question to ask on a Transgender site. One of the most frequent answers is I'm not sure. Some are confused which is why they are here. This is more normal than you might think. Many start here by saying I'm just TG. That's fine. Most of the information you will need is on the main site to make your decision. The rest is here in people that will support you without judgment. To be absolutely sure we always recommend therapy with a gender therapist http://www.lauras-playground.com/gender_therapists.htm .

Remember that NO ONE HERE is a therapist and cannot diagnose you. We can point you to the right information and dispel some common myths. We are a Community and you are a welcome part of it.

:)

Laura

Share this post


Link to post
One of the questions chat moderators ask new chatters in an interview is are you cd, tg, ts, Intersex, androgyne? It's a pretty standard question to ask on a Transgender site. One of the most frequent answers is I'm not sure. Some are confused which is why they are here. This is more normal than you might think. Many start here by saying I'm just TG. That's fine. Most of the information you will need is on the main site to make your decision. The rest is here in people that will support you without judgment. To be absolutely sure we always recommend therapy with a gender therapist http://www.lauras-playground.com/gender_therapists.htm .

Remember that NO ONE HERE is a therapist and cannot diagnose you. We can point you to the right information and dispel some common myths. We are a Community and you are a welcome part of it.

:)

Laura

Oh , I can't resist this one Boss. I always make one diagnosis . It always reads the same, EVERYONE is human :rolleyes:

:) Live Long And Prosper ...... SharleahLynn

Share this post


Link to post

The Transgender spectrum is very long and sometimes complicated. Every one here belongs on it somewhere even if it's between groups. That's really not unusual here.

Laura

Share this post


Link to post

im am not new to this topic I been fighting this for over 40 years.

I have struggled with it in my mind that i had convenced myself.

That I was on a diiferant spectrum than the rest of the world.

But gender and orientation are two differant things. My shrink says we All have male and female sectors.

But me im in the middle I teeter either way.

So you cant say Im a t/s or c/d . so were not sure what I am.

so im just as confused as everybody else here just got a theropist to help me sort it out.

the bad thing i live in a countrey that doesnt accept people as they are.

even though it says it in our consitution.

Share this post


Link to post

What does your heart , mind , and soul tell you ? You take that answer and add it to what the therapist says and you have who you are. None of us carry the magic answer to who we all are, but we do try to get all on the right track. It would be nice if we had all the answers , but that does not exist. That is where the therapists step up and get most of the answers . We all place our trust in these professionals and retrieve the results needed. Live long and prosper......SharleahLynn

Share this post


Link to post

Not sure what I am sure sums it up! What am I, who am I, why am I...these are all questions I struggle with every single day of my life. I am a very well off, married, father of 2 with a good house, good job, good parents, etc...who just happens to be so confused inside. I am and have always been attracted to transsexuals. I have always wishd I had been born a female. I like some aspects of being a male, I mean, its what I was born with...but for the most part, I think and respond to situations like a female would. I can't stand the way males and their testosterone act some time, it makes me ashamed to be a male. I just associatte with female better as a whole. I just wish I were a female, in all aspects. The only thing is, I'm not attracted to males...I'm not gay. I very, very much am straight...big time. But a beautiful trannsexual is the best of both worlds to me, I absolutely love them. What am i besides crazy in my head?????

Share this post


Link to post
Not sure what I am sure sums it up! What am I, who am I, why am I...these are all questions I struggle with every single day of my life. I am a very well off, married, father of 2 with a good house, good job, good parents, etc...who just happens to be so confused inside. I am and have always been attracted to transsexuals. I have always wishd I had been born a female. I like some aspects of being a male, I mean, its what I was born with...but for the most part, I think and respond to situations like a female would. I can't stand the way males and their testosterone act some time, it makes me ashamed to be a male. I just associatte with female better as a whole. I just wish I were a female, in all aspects. The only thing is, I'm not attracted to males...I'm not gay. I very, very much am straight...big time. But a beautiful trannsexual is the best of both worlds to me, I absolutely love them. What am i besides crazy in my head?????

I can sum this up for you in just a few words. You are human........None of us govern who we are. The person we are is from genetics. It is of no fault of anyone. We are born the way we are for a reason, we were born to perform a specific mission. To see this mission through , we have to be our real and true selves. Allow no one to cause you to sway from you being you. ....

......Live Long And Prosper.........SharleahLynn

Share this post


Link to post

i would like to add something about my attraction to women. being a transsexual myself, (mtf). i am still confussed about me being attracted to woman instead of men. i thought i might be a lesbian if or when i ever have SRS. is that what i would be? after going over some of the material on laura's playground i see that a lot of mtf's are attracted to women, so i don't feel so alone or abnormal. every day i wish i had a woman's body. it's almost the only thing i ever think about. it haunts my every waking hour and even in my sleep, i dream i am a woman. although rare, they're the best dreams i ever have.

you're so right sharleahLynn, to reject who we really are inside is to disrupt the mission we're here for. i now realize this and to find true happiness, i'm not happy as a man, i need to chose the path i was hard wired for. i've denied myself all of my life and being miserable for it i decided to do the right thing. already a weight has been lifted from my shoulders and i'm actually happier than i have been for a long time.

sheila :D

Share this post


Link to post

I guess I wanted to add that even if you don't want SRS, or worried about whether you're attracted to girls or boys...we're all different and NOTHING is wrong with that.

Like what I was once told, "There are many different people in this world, just like the different leaves on the tree." :)

Share this post


Link to post

What am I? I guess if I could answer that I would "count myself a king(?) of infinite space, though bounded by a nutshell." Sadly- I can't- and I'm working to figure out if I am a transexual with particularly advanced adapative skills- or someone with just a hell of alot of feminine engergy. I know that I'm not happy, and have never been happy with myself- and this is key- when it comes to matters of gender and sex. In other areas- I'm very confident. Over the last year, I've come to the conclusion that if I was younger and had access to all kinds of information and support- I would have tried to transition M2F....but being a product of my era and the like- I instead buried the trauma and found ways of getting around those problems. But getting around isn't solving them, and now I'm trying to face them. Any advice out there about how to deal with this issue? I'd be grateful for any input.

Thanks - Morag

Share this post


Link to post

I was confused for a very long time and didn't know what I was. I used to just say I was cursed or that I got cheated out of what I should have been at birth, a genetic woman. Now that I am here with what I have I had to deal with it and for a long time I didn't.

I hated myself, I thought I was ugly. My body physically was nither male nor female distinctively. As a male, I didn't have the taught muscles that one has despite how hard I worked at trying to develop them. I just ended up hurting myself through strain. I was always a little fleshy in parts of my body that if developed would have been female.

Even though I had male parts and appearance I had fleshier hips and bottom and more on the breast side as well. This confused me for a long time.

To make matters worse as a teen I was attracted to girls but soon started to notice that I had a significant attraction to men as well. After pondering all this at 20 The "I am cursed" became a mantra which stayed for many years to come.

I found that the definitions that the psychological profession uses merely for convenience of identifying, confused me even more.

Finally I had to come to grips with the force in my life that was now bringing my whole life to a screeching halt becasue I wasn't addressing these issues. I was hiding them. When I went back to reponder them again the intense confusion came over me and I was becoming depressed about life in general.

In the end I had to sit down and think, What are the facts here? First I like dressing like a woman, I like to be like one, I wanted to be one, and secondly I am attracted to men .

Even now I am trying not to settle on labels so I just accept myself as being attracted to men and in the capacity as a woman. This is a feeling of complete fulfillment.

Maybe we all just have to look at "ourselves" alone and say what DO I LIKE OR WHAT MAKES ME FEEL WHOLE? without someone elses opinion or influence. I we see ourselves in the light of our own vision, then maybe our own individual truth reveals itself.

I guess there is something said about listen to your Heart

Share this post


Link to post

Well you've heard all about how everyone is different and we are all human and that is very true, but we all feel a need to be 'just like everybody else'. The truth is that no one is 'just like everybody else', because everybody else is different.

Look at life through the eyes of a very wise old Indian (Native American now, but not when he said this). "I'm glad that everyone likes different things." When asked why his response was, "If everyone liked the same things they would all want my squaw!"

Be glad that we are all different and enjoy the differences! As to labels and what I am, I laike the label Sally!

Good luck to everyone and all of my love to this whole crazy world - we might not be able to make sense of it, but it's all we've got! :lol:

In my own personal catagory,

Sally

Share this post


Link to post

Good one Sally. Darn girl, that is spot on! My label is Mia,you have made my moment. Mia

Share this post


Link to post

When I signed on at Laura's I gave my bio, etc. Thought the moderator would sign me up as C.D.,but Gender Selection came up androgyne. It kind of surprised me, but then I thought what the "hay" Sounded kind of intriguing and mysterious,,,,,,,,,,"Just Like A Woman." Mia

Share this post


Link to post

Hello all, I am so glad to come over to this site. I agree totally with all that is being said and supported here. I'm just starting this acceptance of myself and I want to feel good about it. I don't have an exact explanation of what I am but I know I am a good person. Bonnie

Share this post


Link to post

I've been asking myself that question most of my life!!

Inside, in my heart, I am a woman.

In my first conselling session with my therapist, I cannot tell you how good it felt to express that. We talked as two women. And I left there that day feeling more real than I have in a long, long time.

Share this post


Link to post

I wasn't sure what to pick when I signed up. I was debating between female and transgendered. The reason is because the only part of me that is not female is my genitalia. Every other part, both physical and mental, has always been female. But I haven't had the opportunity to speak to my psychiatrist (long story) yet so I just set it on transgendered. Ever since I can remember, even as a tiny child, I have thought either god made a mistake, or something went horibly wrong in the womb, and I should have been born fully female. Not just 90% female.

Just out of curiosity in my shoes what would some of you have picked?

Rachael

Share this post


Link to post

i cant remember what category i put myself in-but i think i come up as Androgyne

i dont think this is exactly right-but-ive actually given up looking for the "right" label-

ive decided to be just me!

personnally-when i finally accepted myself-i found that im not worried about who i am attracted to-it could be men/woman/someone like me-

it dont matter!

i think aswell that sometimes we worry about what others might think-again-[for me]-i stopped worrying about this when i accepted myself!

Scooby x

Share this post


Link to post

I think it is ok to be unsure about your gender.

I try and think of gender as a spectrum, you have Adam on one end and Eve the other, and everyone since then is some where in-between, no two are in the same place.

Just try and be happy being who you are, and it is OK to move about.

Try not be jealous of where others are, cause you don't know how their life really is :)

:wub: vanna

Share this post


Link to post

I never was a girly-girl, liked to climb trees and such, my hair was short and people called me little boy when they did not know me, but I turned out to be small and petite, well formed curves and such, objectively speaking it is a beautiful body but just not me. There's no way that this überfeminine body can be turned into a acceptable male version(i would look like an 11 year old boy). So i rather leave it as it is though my boobs are too big. And anyway as a man i would be a bisexual very effeminate one. So i guess i am doomed to be inbetween.

Share this post


Link to post

One of the questions chat moderators ask new chatters in an interview is are you cd, tg, ts, Intersex, androgyne? It's a pretty standard question to ask on a Transgender site. One of the most frequent answers is I'm not sure. Some are confused which is why they are here. This is more normal than you might think. Many start here by saying I'm just TG. That's fine. Most of the information you will need is on the main site to make your decision. The rest is here in people that will support you without judgment. To be absolutely sure we always recommend therapy with a gender therapist <a href="http://www.lauras-playground.com/gender_therapists.htm" target="_blank"><a href="http://www.lauras-playground.com/gender_therapists.htm" target="_blank"><a href="http://www.lauras-playground.com/gender_therapists.htm" target="_blank"><a href="http://www.lauras-playground.com/gender_therapists.htm" target="_blank">http://www.lauras-playground.com/gender_therapists.htm</a></a></a></a> .

Remember that NO ONE HERE is a therapist and cannot diagnose you. We can point you to the right information and dispel some common myths. We are a Community and you are a welcome part of it.

:)

Laura

You're right the only person or persons that can diagnose you is qualified therapist not us you gave a well placed answer I hope no one take offense to this answer you are just giving them the fact and are not trying force an opinion on them.

Larry

Share this post


Link to post

I know what you mean I did things that made think I was a guy with a chip or a two by four on his shoulder then I met Charlene we were friends for two years then after her transition I started really to like her. Now come the part that make me like you. Charlene left me for awhile to be with someone else. I was numb, loving fool and angry madman at the other person. I was so much in love with Charlene I let her go because she was unhappy and if I could not make her happy I had to let her find happiness. I had to really investigate myself and my sexuality. I had to face the fact I was in a way bisexual and want to believe I was anything but a man. I had to face reality which choose not to face and it hurt my relationship. You had the courage to see something in yourself early and that make proud I read the post it tell me some people can face their problems without causing harm to others or themselves.

Larry

Thank you for making me see I need to learn somethings more.

Share this post


Link to post

I didn't know what to pick because I didn't have a clue what all those abbreviations even meant. I understand FTM and MTF, I guess, but what does FT? mean? What's the difference between transgender, transsexual, crossdresser and androgyne? A glossary would be helpful :)

People are always telling me that we shouldn't try to label ourselves - but sometimes it's comforting to have some sort of label, even though it is just to simplify something far more complicated.

Share this post


Link to post

I didn't know what to pick because I didn't have a clue what all those abbreviations even meant. I understand FTM and MTF, I guess, but what does FT? mean? What's the difference between transgender, transsexual, crossdresser and androgyne? A glossary would be helpful :)

People are always telling me that we shouldn't try to label ourselves - but sometimes it's comforting to have some sort of label, even though it is just to simplify something far more complicated.

Here you go honey. http://www.lauras-playground.com/transgender_terminology.htm

Your wish has been heard. :lol:

Also FT? or MT? is for those who haven't found a title that they are comfortable with yet, but as you said we shouldn't try to label ourselves and it's not really that important. ;) But it sure does help with using the correct pronouns. :lol:

LUV

Jean

Share this post


Link to post

Here you go honey. http://www.lauras-playground.com/transgender_terminology.htm

Your wish has been heard. :lol:

Also FT? or MT? is for those who haven't found a title that they are comfortable with yet, but as you said we shouldn't try to label ourselves and it's not really that important. ;) But it sure does help with using the correct pronouns. :lol:

LUV

Jean

Awwww... thanks so much!!!!

Share this post


Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • Who's Online   6 Members, 0 Anonymous, 13 Guests (See full list)

    • MaryEllen
    • Jani423
    • Cindy Truheart
    • Johanne
    • Joshua
    • Carolyn Marie
  • Topics With Zero Replies

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      64,045
    • Total Posts
      580,877