Am I Fooling Myself?

[Guest Amanda Whyte]

I was starting to feel anxious and none of my usual people to call were available, so I decided to try something different for me. I already had on a pair of panties, but I put on one of my wife's bra and a silky shirt she has (unfortunately I dont have any bottoms that will fit). That was only 10 or 15 minutes ago and I am already feeling better. Not excited, turned on, depressed, or anything just normal. Am I fooling myself or did that really just happen? I am not needing to search the internet for information in desperation. I am happy to just sit here watching Kathie Lee and Hoda and reading posts as they happen on Laura's.

[JJ]

Heard it said before it helps.

Full time for a year almost so doesn't work for me but slipping into my fav hoodie and old jeans can sometimes calm the anxities for me.

Johnny

[Guest Amanda Whyte]

Oh, I was hopeing they would go away. I should have known better, I guess.

[Guest androgynous02]

i dont think you are fooling yourself..if that makes you feel better, then why not keep doing it? i know when im anxious, as jj pointed out, putting on some really boyish clothes makes me feel a million times better, because i feel like (when im anxious at least) im not myself, so putting on a hoodie or ripped jeans transitions me back into the life style i know and love. so i say if it makes you feel better, keep doing because the last thing youre doing is fooling yourself. much love and hope this helped even just a little bit. keep your chin up. :]

[JJ]

The anxieties get better but the don't go away. Maybe it's just me and the fact that I spent so many decades feeling that way I now have grooves worn in my psyche so to speak. Maybe they will completely disappear eventually. They sure are much less intense and less often as time goes by. I found mid-transition-the androgynous stage -to be the hardest and worst for me sometimes

I think if I had chest surgery and a good prosthesis it would pretty much all fade but I don't really know that for sure.

Johnny

[Guest SaleneAlexis]

When things get to unbearable, just putting on female clothes helps. Not totally prepping of course, just wearing them reminds Me of who I truly am, and no dear you are not fooling yourself.

[Guest androgynous02]

i agree with everything everyone has said thus far. well said guys!

[Guest Talon]

Definitely makes sense in my head too! Putting on the clothes that you like the best allows you to be yourself and do what you want even if only for a short time. I think there's no better cure to anxiety/dysphoria than to get to dress as you want and be yourself for a while!

When I do it, it doesn't make me ecstatic or take away my bad feelings or their reasons. It just makes me feel better and it puts me at ease and makes me calm down a little.

So I don't think you're fooling yourself

All the best,

Talon.

[Guest Amanda Whyte]

Cool, that is awsome. I guess I need to get my own stuff though so it can fit properly and I can dress all the way. Just got to figure out sizes. I have a guess where to start and I know I can measure, but will have to see. Thanx everyone.

[Guest Svenna]

Before HRT, dressing in any female attire at all had either of two results for me.

One, sexual excitation and two, peace and relaxation...

The excitation was potent, though nerve-wracking. The relaxation was deep and profound...

Since starting HRT I rarely dress anymore, but it still makes me feel deeply peaceful and relaxed. I will become more involved in dressing en femme after my spouse becomes comfortable with me in female garb (or leaves me), but for now, I am okay with just being me for once in my life...

I can't say for sure whether you are fooling yourself or not, but over time, there will be an apparent pattern to which you should pay strict attention. These are the clues that will guide your journey forward...

It is wonderful when you start to 'connect the dots', so to speak, and the pieces begin to fall into place. Once beyond shame and guilt, these clues will become lifelines guiding you towards your destiny.

Best of luck sorting out these new observations...

Love, Svenna

[JJ]

Mandy hit the thrift store. Some like the ones for hospital auxiliaries have awesome up to date clothes but if you aren't sure yet just pop into Goodwill. They have seen everything and don't care what you buy or try on.

You can try on in the bathroom in most if you are really uncomfortable but mostly no one notices at all. Or cares. If the really odd happened and you are asked you can be putting together an outift for a skit at a meeting or even shopping for a wife in similar size etc.

Best of all you get lots of great stuff for almost nothing. Except lingerie. I can't buy underclthing there. Just can't. But I shop for that at salvage or half of half stores. Ditto on the trying on. No one cares or notices. If you chicken out and just grab at least you aren't out much.

Best of luck and enjoy finding fun and cool stuff

Johnny

[Guest Donna Jean]

.

a year or so after you get on HRT, dressing won't hold the same thrill.....

It will become ...getting up and getting dressed!

Dee Jay

[Guest Svenna]

.

a year or so after you get on HRT, dressing won't hold the same thrill.....

It will become ...getting up and getting dressed!

Dee Jay

Dee Jay,

At risk of exposing myself as an ex-trekkie, I must paraphrase Mr. Spock once again...

"Sometimes the wanting is more pleasurable than the having"...

But in place of the highly charged pleasure of autogynephillia come the joy of being whole. Instead of the thrill of living a secret life and hiding every clue comes the peace of being truly at peace with ones inner being. Clothing is merely a covering for our bodies once the NEED to have a few moments of 'female-ness' subsides...

I'll take the peace, please!

Love, Svenna

[Guest Donna Jean]

.

Yes, Hon.......enjoy yourself until the peace comes.....

And for me, it did......

And it's amazing!

Huggs

Dee Jay

[Bulldog1948]

The anxieties get better but the don't go away. Maybe it's just me and the fact that I spent so many decades feeling that way I now have grooves worn in my psyche so to speak. Maybe they will completely disappear eventually. They sure are much less intense and less often as time goes by. I found mid-transition-the androgynous stage -to be the hardest and worst for me sometimes

I think if I had chest surgery and a good prosthesis it would pretty much all fade but I don't really know that for sure.

Johnny

Johnny,

The answer to your assumption is absolutely correct. When you have your chest surgery, you're going to feel 100% better. No more wondering on your part if- someone knows I still got these things. Once you have the surgery, you'll not have to worry any longer. No more binding [ if you do that], but you can go out in a tee shirt and be flat-chested. Loosing those things is a freedom releasing hormone all in it's self You will be amazed how mannish you're going to feel. No ,ore hiding anything, let the sun shine on your bare chest

No the protheseis. Well some guys wear them, some don't. Some wear them 24/7. Some get the STP version, others don't. It all depends on what you would be comfortable with. Some guys like to stand at the urninal and others always go into a stall when available; same as cis dudes do. Some STPs are much easier to wear and use than others. Some fit easier down there than others do. You might buy one and find that you can't use the darn thing. But, they are better fitting now than they used to be.

I have no idea of your chest size and whether you bind or not. If you're small, one way or the other; wearing a packy would validate your manhood. Ya know, a penis is a guy thing and they love their little dudes- won't leave home without them lol. Some packys are better than others. There again you need to read other message boards where the guys are always talking about them. Their reviews will be a big help. Please don't get caught up in the 100.00 + range and some are higher than that. For just starting out, you can get one for around 20-25.00.

Then you'll need somehow to hold it in place, don't want to loose the little devil. Rainbow Athletics is run by a brother of mine. He has all different colors,sizes and ways to wear your packy. He also fixes your underwear where the packy is fitted snug inside. Also, after contacting him, you can send your unopened shorts and he'll fix them at a reduced cost. He's been in business for a long time and takes great pride in his products. He's retired military and one heck of a guy. Well, that's it for now

Mike

[Guest DSchwyr]

Two questions for the ladies who have take a step towards hormones. How frequent do you cross dress for those of you who have not come out to family and friends?

Twice or more a week

Once a week

Every other week

Once a month

Or infrequent

Second question, do you dress femme to your doctors office for hormones when you still look male?

[Guest Jaques]

before i began living as a guy, i was married, my hair was long and id been dying it blonde for years so was a mess, i had it cut off short, that triggered a very old deeply hidden away memory in me,when i was a kid, going to the barbers and having a short back and sides, so i started putting on my husbands underpants, then putting socks down the front and felt so good, so i bought a packer and it all started from there, i felt liberated, "right" again, scared but it was fabulous. After a couple of years I'd left my husband, I bought a mans suit, shirt and tie from a charity shop, walked up and down the high street, i got stopped by a guy who said i looked fabulous - i felt fabulous though i clearly looked feminine then.....the novelty's worn off now Ive transitioned and had surgery and been living as a guy for many years, but i still remember that initial thrill - so no kidding yourself, relax and enjoy it.

[gennee]

It makes sense, Amanda. You feel the difference. The first time I put on a feminine article my whole world turned upside down. I don't regard it for one moment. Best thing that ever happened.

:D :D

[Guest carolynn2fem]

That settles it. I feel normal Thank You everyone

[Guest Amanda Whyte]

Lol, your welcome Carolynn. That is an awsome thing about this site is that it helps us understand that what we feel is not super unusual.