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A Godless Kind Of ‘happiness’


Guest Zenda

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Kia Ora,

As many of you already know I’m a godless person, even when the concept of a god was floating though my mind’s eye [many moons ago] I couldn’t quite make this concept tangible…However I finally found the key to true happiness and contentment when I discovered ‘myself’….It’s an incredible, blissful feeling, accepting and taking full responsibility for ones actions and the situation one finds oneself in, in life…Through controlling my thoughts I have developed a positive attitude and in doing so I am able to shape my reality …

I know that many of you are still coming to terms with who you are and how you’re going to cope in society…Many in their time of need, if not already religious, tend to turn to an external ‘god’ figure for guidance and comfort…For some this works, for others not…

For those who are free of a benevolent god-centric thought pattern…who do you or what did you turn to for comfort and guidance in your times of need?

What if I were to tell you, the only person you can rely on ie, truly ‘trust’ is…’YOURSELF’...In order to go forward on ones chosen path, one must have 'faith' in oneself... for without it, you will be well and truly lost!

A blissful state of happiness and contentment is ‘free’ to a good home/mind…

Have faith...happy mindfulness!

Metta Jendar :)

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In a way that makes each individual their own God. The question is how do you reconcile the physical reality that effects your life that you have no control over. You can paint a pretty picture in your mind but when night comes it is dark outside.

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Kia Ora Lisa,

Before I continue I would like to point out, I'm well aware that many in the forum are 'clinically depressed' and need specialist help - so please understand I am not 'judging' or being highly critical of them in anyway!

Are we not all gods of a sort?…to an extent able to create our own reality-and I don’t mean in a ‘fantasy’ world sense, I mean in the ‘real’ world..?

I’m nobody special, but I’ve managed to do this and in doing so, I’m in a constant state of contentment…

I realise many , can only envisage my somewhat ‘blissful’ state as some kind of a ‘fantasy’…How can one possibly be happy and content 24/7 each and everyday?

It’s all down to ones 'attitude' and how one ‘chooses’ to see life…If things go wrong, why prolong ones discontentment why carry this burden, when you don’t really have too…What’s happened as happened one must learn not to ‘cling’ to the negative and to get over it. And I’m sure most of you are aware that we do have a choice as to how we perceive life…

The key here is to do with ‘optimism’ [positive thinking] and ‘pessimism’ [negative thinking]…Due to ones thought pattern, some people are only capable of short bursts of optimism and sadly for the most part pessimism seems to dominate their lives…But this does not have to be…

I’ve mentioned before[well quite a few times] about ‘meditation’ and how it can enrich ones life…Western scientists, psychologists and medical doctors are just beginning to understand the power of meditation that is, a means of controlling ones mind that is very beneficial - a technique that’s been around for thousands of years…

My mind has got me to where I am now-a blissful state of awareness…And your mind can get you there too[if you let it]

Remember ...A mind full of pessimism will always remain in a 'discontented' state

:rolleyes: I guess to answer your question Lisa, in a nutshell…Through meditation one comes to understand ones mind and in doing so can develop a more positive attitude…

Happy mindfulness

Metta Jendar :)

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Hi Jendar I believe that for the most part you are correct in your theory of meditation = finding and touching the innerself = the awakening = Awareness awareness as a continuous evolutionary process of being aware the reality around you and beyond. I do not believe in a God, or least ways not the one that they preach about in so many fundamentalist churches. The essence of creator and creation is the spark that is within each one of us and it all depends if you wish to accept and touch that spark with in the soul, which is part of all that exists within all dimensions as a **Oneness of spirit or souls.** I am not religious, I believe myself as Spiritual but I follow my own understandings and beliefs which I have accumulated through the years. I do believe there are certain forces that have an influence in our lives if we accept and believe in them. I also believe that much of our mission here on Earth Mother is that of discovery and learning=growth.

I didn't have an easy time, for 30 years of my life I was in an alcoholic, using alcohol as in attempt to escape from reality. Once the cork was back on the jug it did not take long to discover who I was, but I was terrified to really do anything about it let alone tell anyone. I discovered spirituality through the program of AA. Finally I arrived at the door to transition, and opened the door, and stepped through and never looked back. I am happy today, sometime I may even display the characteristics of a child, so my mate tells me. :) I ow my happiness very much to my spiritual beliefs and no longer fear of being punished if I am happy. I am the real me, the one I have dreamed about since childhood and no one is ever going to take her away from me.

I believe that all transsexual people have that spark within them, if they only but trust it and touch it, this will bring on the awakening which will eventually bring them to the awareness.

CindyBC

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Kia Ora Cindy,

I’m glad to hear that you have found contentment and that you have taken time to share your experiences with myself and others…I’m sure they will also appreciate your comments…

I have not had to face the demons in the form of alcohol that many of you have had to face, perhaps it’s because I don’t possess the alcoholic ‘gene’ that some scientists believe some people have-Alcohol just does not agree with me which is a very fortunate thing…But I’m glad to see you have corked one jug and have let the good genie out of the other, so to speak…I doubt whether you will be able to even re cork the genie’s jug, even if you tried…

Metta Jendar

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Guest CindyBC

Hi Jendar hon, thank you for your reply. Your right, I'm hanging on to that genie for all I'm worth. He will get along well with all my other imaginary friends. :rolleyes: Life is grand as long as one doesn't allow for anything to flap them and nudge them off the path. It's all in your mind some shrinks will say, well of course it is, but it all depends what one withes to take what ever it is they want to take for a walk into the real world. Choose well, have faith, in your own abilities, and pray to what ever higher power you believe in and meditate so that you be shown how to find the result you seek.

I know I sometimes tend to ramble on or get off on tangents all at one time, I am who I am, so if anyone doesn't understand what in tarnation I am talking, please don't be afraid to ask questions.

Cindy the fairy. ;)

sacredangel.gif

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Guest CindyBC

Hi Jendar hon.......hmmmm. usually the posts turn up sooner then this but the last one didn't make it at all and I just want to tell you that I agree 110% to your last post. Now that I have that Genie in my hands there ain't no way I am letting him go. I truly enjoyed our brief exchange of thoughts. I just pray I don't lose anyone in our conversations, and if I do it is not intentional. I just tend to go off in kazilion different directions and when the trade winds start a blowing all I can do is go with it and hope I don't get lost in the wilderness of endless propositions. ;)

CindyBC

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Guest CindyBC

Hi lisa hon, now there is one proposition I would sooner not bite on tonight. The last time I got on to the subject on a group I use to belong to, well like, is the glass half full or half empty? What if you stopper the glass and tilt the glass and let the liquid go to the top of the glass, Is there less volume of water in the larger end of the glass? We had it broken right down to it's subatomic particles, is there more subatomic particles in liquid then there is in the air and does that also include the cup?

That silly discussion went on for three bloody weeks and at each turn it just got more complicated, but there was also a growing sense of humor and laughter that grew in proportion to the subatomic particles. I love laughing, discussing scientific propositions, metaphysical, the mysterious and unexplained, philosophical discussions, riddles, reciting prose and of course, telling BS stories. Now all that is needed to top all of this is for someone to clao their hands and yell "Booooo!" and watch how fast I go and hide under the bed, a pair of glow in the dark eyes blinking back at you. My sense of humor I believe is equal in proportion to my curiosity.

cry3.gif

Cindy the fairy

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Guest lisa49
In a way that makes each individual their own God. The question is how do you reconcile the physical reality that effects your life that you have no control over. You can paint a pretty picture in your mind but when night comes it is dark outside.
Through controlling my thoughts I have developed a positive attitude and in doing so I am able to shape my reality …

By night I mean when your part of the earth is turned away from the sun. You need to physically turn a light on etc. to see. Now you thought I was referring to a pessimistic idea and answered in that way. See the difference between an objective understanding and a self created subjective one. By shaping your reality is that not an action of a god?

I believe

Anytime you have to add those words you are the creator. It is not the physical world you describing, but it is your perspective of the situation. Knowing the facts and the rules of the physical world helps you understand the difference between rational actions for the use of facts and irrational actions based on emotions and other created beliefs.

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Kia Ora,

Now what I’m about to say is not arrogance on my part-[if one sees it that way that’s one choice- but not my intention], I’m just trying to put into perspective where I’m at in life and how this came about…

I’m well aware that my situation is more favourable than most, that is I blend into society as my affirmed gender and I’m not confronted with the social gauntlet that many of you may have to run on a regular bases - such as questioning looks from passers-by, or issues with toilets etc … But the fortunate situation that I find myself in, is just a small percentage of my contentment, it is not it’s foundation…In my everyday life I see and heard about cisgender and trans people’s struggles, the mundane type that no longer presents a challenge to me, because I ‘choose’ to see things in a different light and in doing so I’m more relaxed and content and judging by the comments I get from others whom I physically interact with- they can sense the contentment I feel…"Why are you so relaxed! etc etc"

That was either 'cleaver or clever' observation on your part Lisa – however that’s how ‘you’ personally choose to perceive life-through constant philosophical questioning thought, but [keeping to the topic at hand] tell me, do you have ‘contentment’-happiness with your situation in life?…and is it sporadic- depending on the situation or constant regardless of the situation?

Because you personally have yet to experience what I’m experiencing, you give the impression by your comments that what I say I experience daily 24/7 is impossible-out of a ‘normal’ person’s reach…If you 'think' that way then it will remain out of reach...I think therefore I am[this is from a Buddhist perspective]

I know what I know because I’m ‘living’ it each and everyday ...I live life-While many still question it…

However, this post is not a philosophical debate, I really do care and want to know about and possibly help others come to terms with the situation they find themselves in, in life…and hopefully provide them with a workable means to improving their situation…

My wish is for you all to feel what I feel each day -'contentment'...

And as my 17 year old daughter's answer phone message says... "If you can dream it... you can do it!"

Happy mindfulness

Metta Jendar :)

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Guest lisa49

Because I question does not mean there is not contentment. I have so far lived a wonderful life as I too have a daughter in graduate school on her way to being a doctor. Also a son in college as much more of a romantic which will head in a different direction. I too blend very well as I am 5'5" at 135 pounds and had Dr. O and Suporn make me flawless also I have no need for a job. I do enjoy puzzles and philosophic discussions and live with a friend who is studying Greek and Latin. I find life in paradox and the difference in things. Harmony makes me uncomfortable and lazy. Life is for living and the time is limited. To avoid pain seems like a positive idea but not at the expense of a full life so each of us has to decide for them selves when to change things.

I find that people are much more happy when they work things out by them selves. I do help when asked but do not believe in being on a mission.

"If you can dream it... you can do it!"

A nice dream but physically impossible. I can dream of going through a black hole. I can only do it in a dream. But with hard work and understanding the steps and plenty of time you can accomplish the most important thing in your life just not everything you want to happen.

My wish is for you all to feel what I feel each day -'contentment'...

A wish is like a praying it motivates you and sets up your subconsciousness to look and act on opportunities.

I do things to help people see the possibilities.

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Kia Ora,

:rolleyes: To bear a grudge…. who really carries the 'unpleasant' burden - the bearer or their target?

Like Laura and her helpers I too am on a 'mission' ! ‘Altruism’ I think has something to do with it...

Lisa, I’m happy to hear that thanks to money, plastic surgery and good surgeons you don’t have to run society’s gauntlet and that you also have children who are doing well…[ I have four –one living in Japan the others still busy studying, two in high school the other at uni…No doubt they will also continue to travel overseas to experience and enrich their lives]

However, back to the point... there are some people out there who think because another is in a ‘better’ position, this other person’s life must be relatively free of hassles…My point was ‘yes’ I blend in and don’t have to run a gauntlet, but that’s not what makes me fully content-There are people with plenty of money and material things plus are blessed with being naturally attractive-but for some, true happiness still remains out of their reach…There are other things in my life that contribute to my happiness…and that is having a positive attitude…

My genital surgery was government funded…I have ‘no’ money in the bank-I ‘rent’ a one bedroom apartment-I’m ‘not’ fully employed-I have a beat up old car that’s on it’s last legs…Many in this forum are much better off material wise-I have none of the ‘material’ things that many of you treasure and from what I gather brings you happiness…But I’m happy and content and wished to share the reasons why I feel this way and in doing so perhaps it will inspire others to see life differently…

I was only quoting what was on my daughter’s answer phone and that she [like Martin Luther King Jnr ] believes in working towards ones dreams...But because of your somewhat ‘highly critical nature’, you have made it quite clear, you don't tolerant somebody having dreams-a thing that you 'personally' find absurd !

But again I’m truly happy that you have found what you ‘perceive’ as true happiness…

Finally...Lisa in all sincerity, I'm saying yes you are right-you win- what you have said is your truth I can not deny that...I hope this 'victory' satisfy's your 'need' to be right...I'm sure the others don't want to be burdened with our personal disagreements that's moving away from the topic at hand...I apologise - It was not my intention for this to happen...

I would like to leave you ‘all’ with this analogy I came across recently:

“Knowledge without spirit is like finding yourself on a cold night with all the wood in the world and not a flame with which to light it!”

Happy mindfulness [and for those who 'only' see material gain as happiness - may your material world continue to overflow!]

Metta Jendar :)

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Guest CindyBC

Hi Jade, what a wonderful declaration of which I have come to discover to a greater degree. All that is required to be content with oneself is t feel whole and to be at peace with one's Self. Not many understand what it is, I try to tell them and maybe what I tell is all gibberish, maybe I just don't belong in the rooms anymore. I had only come to see if I could share some and maybe be of service. I may just move on.

Have a wonderful day.

CindyBC

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Guest lisa49
Happy mindfulness [and for those who 'only' see material gain as happiness - may your material world continue to overflow!

I would like to point out that happiness is not the pinnacle of life just as materialism can not buy you happiness. Happiness is a personal emotion, not a human achievement. If you look at the big picture you will see that humans are a part of something much bigger. Knowledge is a cumulative collection of many humans and growing all the time. Each of us can and do feel good about contributing to the overall pool of world knowledge because we know it will benefit future generations and keep life going.

Dreams are the seeds of invention not the reality of the future. It takes hard work as well as knowledge to move from a dream to a rational realistic action.

like Martin Luther King Jr ] believes in working toward ones dreams
If you take your beliefs and say that there is no universe wafter death the Kings dreams are dead. But if you understand society is more than an individual you see that some of his hard work has been continued by others and managed to change society for the better, not perfect. People are still making changes and not exactly what the dreams told but things that are within a framework of rational physical reality might I say the material world.
I do things to help people see the possibilities

This has nothing to do with victory. It has to do with other possibilities than just beliefs. It has to do with rational thinking and the power it has to change your life. I have nothing against positive thinking in fact I think it is very helpful but I do see people not living to their full potential when they do not question things. Compassion comes from giving not just feeling.

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Kia Ora Cindy,

I hope whichever way you flow the ‘genie’ is there with you…

Happiness and contentment is just a state of mind…and judging by your comments you have also found the key, I hope you make plenty of copies and continue to provide others with this precious key to contentment…

I know you already have this - but ‘Happy mindfulness’ anyway…I guess I’m somewhat selfish, because I also get a real warm feeling when saying it…

:rolleyes: One can’t have too much of a good thing…

"Um Mani Padme Hum!"

What we seek we are!

Metta Jendar :)

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Guest CindyBC

Hi Jendar, Oh I know the Genie has always been with me I only just had to awaken to that fact. Life is what you make and it would be a false statement to say that i don't get bad times, I do but the just aren't very long in duration most times only a few hours or less. Yes happiness is a state of mind.

Thank you for sharing.

CindyBC

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Kia Ora Lisa,

I truly do appriciate your wise words and your over powering knowledge of all things 'right' [according to 'Lisa' and the gods you worship]...They have rewarded you well[and BTW it is a form of 'worship'] .. However I'm somewhat amused at how you cling to and analyse my humble word- :rolleyes: it makes me feel special!

I can not force you to let go of the bone of contention[your frustration/grudge] the pull of your force-pride is too strong - nor do I want too-you must find this out for yourself... So may you continue to find pleasure in chewing upon it! :)

I would be a fool not to expect the final word from you,[my words seem to have that charaisma]... so please be my guest and oblige me...I hope you find lasting peace from doing so...

The 'need' to always be 'right'and to try in 'vain' to prove the other wrong-stems from a discontented, highly strung mind, that sadly can not 'accept' defeat nor a compromise when it is on the table...

This shallow victory will always be yours Lisa, so please enjoy it - for a victory without any reward is a empty one...

You truly are my 'karma' and I totally accept you for what you are! :)

"Thank you...I have learnt a lot from your 'highly critical' somewhat 'cold' calculating mind...And from the start I realise that you are only trying to teach others what 'you believe' is the right and only way for them to go... But your methods of doing so definately need some 'refining'...Perhaps a touch of 'human' kindness along with warm 'feelings'!" [again I won't hold my breath]

[Phew!!! I hope this is enough for you to chew on for a while!!! I've run out of bait/bone]

And for the other readers...Perhaps you could spare a 'bone' for Lisa to get her teeth into!!!

Happy mindfulness...And Lisa, may 'true' wisdom catch up with your age before the lights go out...

Metta Jendar :)

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Guest lisa49

A person who lives only within themselves and is living in the abstract. (Existing only in concept and not in reality: hypothetic, hypothetical, ideal, theoretic, theoretical, transcendent, transcendental.)

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  • 4 weeks later...
Guest Paula D
Kia Ora,

As many of you already know I’m a godless person, even when the concept of a god was floating though my mind’s eye [many moons ago] I couldn’t quite make this concept tangible…However I finally found the key to true happiness and contentment when I discovered ‘myself’….It’s an incredible, blissful feeling, accepting and taking full responsibility for ones actions and the situation one finds oneself in, in life…Through controlling my thoughts I have developed a positive attitude and in doing so I am able to shape my reality …

I know that many of you are still coming to terms with who you are and how you’re going to cope in society…Many in their time of need, if not already religious, tend to turn to an external ‘god’ figure for guidance and comfort…For some this works, for others not…

For those who are free of a benevolent god-centric thought pattern…who do you or what did you turn to for comfort and guidance in your times of need?

What if I were to tell you, the only person you can rely on ie, truly ‘trust’ is…’YOURSELF’...In order to go forward on ones chosen path, one must have 'faith' in oneself... for without it, you will be well and truly lost!

A blissful state of happiness and contentment is ‘free’ to a good home/mind…

Have faith...happy mindfulness!

Metta Jendar :)

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Guest Paula D

I am just joining this group, so I will start slowly. I too believe in a no-god

spirituality -- though really that amounts to finding a god within myself.

To keep that from being self-centered, I also believe that I must continue

to be a searcher. And where I find the source of such confirmation of

my spirituality (and my sexuality) is in Nature.

I have much more to say on that, but I'll stop for now to see what

if any reaction I might get.

But before signing off I should say how much I appreciate everything

I have read from everyone so far. That doesn't mean I agree with

ever detail of everything, but I welcome whatever good comes my way in this life.

Greetings to all. Paula

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  • 1 year later...
Guest Syamantaka

Jendar greetings

I take responsibility for my own actions, I do not pawn my short commings off on some diety. The Desiderata, is my guide. What I find

cool about this is an ordinary person wrote this. So anyone of us could do something awsome and help society mature.

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.

Take kindly to the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God/ess, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life,

keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Just wanted to share with you as it was shared with me 34 years ago. :)

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  • 1 year later...
Guest roxannemariska

I'm totally with your first post Zenda. I abandoned the god delusion a few years back and it was the most liberating event of my life. No, I did not become my own god. I realized I was just one more pile of molecules organized for a fleeting moment into consciousness. I will eventually return to the state I was before I was born: star stuff.

This perspective allowed me to understand that I am not special in any way, no higher purpose or god's plan. I just happen to have fallen well to the extreme end of the bell curve when it comes to gender. So I am not an abomination, a bad person, immoral, or perverted. I am who and what I am. I can do no other. Now it is entirely up to me to make the most of my life.

This realization gave me the determination, and courage to embrace what I have come to understand is my Two-Spiritedness. Had I not pursued this intellectual honesty, I would still be in therapy trying to 'fix' what was 'wrong' with me.

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  • 7 months later...
Guest Weaver
Through controlling my thoughts I have developed a positive attitude and in doing so I am able to shape my reality …

I am unable to do that since my personality does not allow it. I cannot bend reality to my mind, it doesn't work that way.

I must bend my mind to reality, just like the water must become shaped like the glass it is poured into.

Anything else would be delusion I think.

For those who are free of a benevolent god-centric thought pattern…who do you or what did you turn to for comfort and guidance in your times of need?

For a long time it was spiritual pipe-dreams that I threw away when I understood they were only escapism on my part.

I took a concept so dear to me, so emotionally close to me and popped that balloon.

I can draw a parallel here to the matrix. "There is no spoon". And there was no spoon, my pipe dream wasn't real, not matter how much

comfort it gave me.

Now I confide in other people. I cannot observe myself objectively, so they act as filters for the raw data that I can give them.

I.E: My thoughts, my feelings and some behaviours that I have kept track on.

They process it and give an outside view that I can reflect upon.

What if I were to tell you, the only person you can rely on ie, truly ‘trust’ is…’YOURSELF’...In order to go forward on ones chosen path, one must have 'faith' in oneself... for without it, you will be well and truly lost!

I don't completely trust myself because I have emotions like anger. Anger is a special thing for me. During a lot of my childhood anger was avoided (at home) and I got

yelled and screamed at, at the daycare, when I showed my anger. They didn't trust me either, but I always told the truth. I do not lie directly. Sometimes I withold information, but I never lie directly.

I strive for 'truth'. There is no point in lying for me, it gives me no satisfaction. Sadness or grief is kept in check, somehow, I don't know how.

Anger is swiftly cut off by intense anxiety. The anxiety is ten times worse than the anger itself.

I still get annoyed, frustrated and mad without the anxiety. It's cool as long as the anger isn't turned at anyone who is also angry at me.

I second-guess myself a lot, but it's been a lot less lately. I am still not able to decide on HRT, and I'd need a specialist to talk to before

deciding. I don't trust that my emotions will lead me right on this path. I know the irony in this since all my choices are influenced by emotions.

It's just that this is not a trivial choice. It's a very hard one.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest agfrommd

I am unable to do that since my personality does not allow it. I cannot bend reality to my mind, it doesn't work that way.

I must bend my mind to reality, just like the water must become shaped like the glass it is poured into.

Anything else would be delusion I think.

I agree strongly. I have a bunch of friends who believe in a movie called "The Secret" that claims that all you have to do is want something and that will make the universe work to bring it to you. I expressed my skepticism and they just kind of humphed, but I could tell they thought I was being close-minded.

All that being said, it's made me a happier person to do my best to unpin my well-being and attitude from whats going on around me. Just because sucky things happened today doesn't mean it has to be a sucky day. I can celebrate, for example, that I made the best of a bad situation or that I have good friends to help me thought bad times.

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      I use my  chosen name online and when ever I can. I play some online game and only go by that name. That is how everyone there know me. Yes it does feel great to be called the name you prefer. 
    • Breezy Victor
      I was ten years old when my mom walked in on me frolicking around my room dressed up in her bra, panties, and some pantyhose. I had been doing this in the privacy of my bedroom for a little while now so I had my own little stash box I kept full of different panties, bras, etc ... of hers. My mom's underwear was so easy for me to come by and she was a very attractive woman, classy, elegant. Well when she walked in on me, she looked at me with disgust and said to me... "If I wanted to run around like mommy's little girl instead of mommy's little boy, then she was going to treat me like mommy's little girl."  She left my bedroom after telling me NOT to change or get dressed or anything and returned with a few of her work skirts and blouses and such. She made me model off her outfits for her and I have to admit ... I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT. I felt so sexy, and feminine. And she knew I loved it.  She told me we can do this every weekend if I'd like. It would be OUR little secret. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      The usual social ways, of course.  Taking care of my partners and stepkids, being involved in my community.  That makes me feel good about my role.   As for physical validation and gender... probably the most euphoric experience is sex.  I grew up with my mother telling me that my flat and boyish body was strange, that my intersex anatomy was shameful, that no man would want me. So experiencing what I was told I could never have is physical proof that I'm actually worth something.  
    • KathyLauren
      <Moderator hat on>  I think that, at this point we need to get the thread back onto the topic, which is the judge's ruling on the ballot proposition.  If there is more to be said on the general principles of gendered spaces etc., please discuss them, carefully and respectfully, in separate threads. <Moderator hat off>
    • Abigail Genevieve
      People who have no understanding of transgender conditions should not be making policy for people dealing with it. Since it is such a small percentage of the population, and each individual is unique, and their circumstances are also unique, each situation needs to be worked with individually to see that the best possible solution is implemented for those involved. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      No.  You are getting stuck on one statement and pulling it out of context.   Trans kids have rights, but so do non-trans kids.  That conflict is best worked out in the individual situation. 
    • MaeBe
      I get the concept, I believe. You're trying to state that trans kids need to or should be excluded from binary gender spaces and that you acknowledge that answers to accommodate those kids may not be found through policy. I disagree with the capability of "penetration" as being the operative delimiter in the statement, however. I contest this statement is poorly chosen at best and smacks of prejudice at worst. That it perpetuates certain stereotypes, whether that was the intent or not.   Frankly, all kids should have the right to privacy in locker rooms, regardless of gender, sexuality, or anatomy. They should also have access to exercise and activities that other kids do and allow them to socialize in those activities. The more kids are othered, extracted, or barred from the typical school day the more isolated and stigmatized they become. That's not healthy for anyone, the excluded for obvious reasons and the included for others--namely they get to be the "haves" and all that entails.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Context.  Read the context.  Good grief.
    • MaeBe
      Please don't expect people to read manifold pages of fiction to understand a post.   There was a pointed statement made, and I responded to it. The statement used the term penetration, not "dissimilar anatomy causing social discomfiture", or some other reason. It was extended as a "rule" across very different social situations as well, locker and girl's bedrooms. How that term is used in most situations is to infer sexual contact, so most readers would read that and think the statement is that we "need to keep trans girl's penises out of cis girls", which reads very closely to the idea that trans people are often portrayed as sexual predators.   I understand we can't always get all of our thoughts onto the page, but this doesn't read like an under-cooked idea or a lingual short cut.
    • Ashley0616
      I shopped online in the beginning of transition. I had great success with SHEIN and Torrid!
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Have you read the rest of what I wrote?   Please read between the lines of what I said about high school.  Go over and read my Taylor story.  Put two and two together.   That is all I will say about that.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      "I feel like I lost my husband," Lois told the therapist,"I want the man I married." Dr. Smith looked at Odie, sitting there in his men's clothing, looking awkward and embarrassed. "You have him.  This is just a part of him you did not know about. Or did not face." She turned to Odie,"Did you tear my wedding dress on our wedding night?" He admitted it.  She had a whole catalog of did-you and how-could you.  Dr. Smith encouraged her to let it all out. Thirty years of marriage.  Strange makeup in the bathroom.  The kids finding women's laundry in the laundry room. There was reconciliation. "What do we do now?" Dr. Smith said they had to work that out.  Odie began wearing women's clothing when not at work.  They visited a cross-dressers' social club but it did not appeal to them.  The bed was off limits to cross dressing.  She had limits and he could respect her limits.  Visits to relatives would be with him in men's clothing.    "You have nail polish residue," a co-worker pointed out.  Sure enough, the bottom of his left pinky nail was bright pink  His boss asked him to go home and fix it.  He did.   People were talking, he was sure, because he doubted he was anywhere as thorough as he wanted to be.  It was like something in him wanted to tell everyone what he was doing, and he was sloppy.   His boss dropped off some needed paperwork on a Saturday unexpectedly and found Odie dressed in a house dress and wig.  "What?" the boss said, shook his head, and left.  None of his business.   "People are talking," Lois said. "They are asking about this," she pointed to his denim skirt. "This seems to go past or deeper than cross dressing."   "Yes.  I guess we need some counseling."  And they went.
    • April Marie
      You look wonderful!!! A rose among the roses.
    • Ashley0616
      Mine would be SHEIN as much as I have bought from them lol.
    • MaeBe
      This is the persistence in thinking of trans girls as predators and, as if, they are the only kind of predation that happens in locker rooms. This is strikingly close to the dangerous myth that anatomy corresponds with sexuality and equates to gender.
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