Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

A Godless Kind Of ‘happiness’


Guest Zenda

Recommended Posts

Kia Ora,

As many of you already know I’m a godless person, even when the concept of a god was floating though my mind’s eye [many moons ago] I couldn’t quite make this concept tangible…However I finally found the key to true happiness and contentment when I discovered ‘myself’….It’s an incredible, blissful feeling, accepting and taking full responsibility for ones actions and the situation one finds oneself in, in life…Through controlling my thoughts I have developed a positive attitude and in doing so I am able to shape my reality …

I know that many of you are still coming to terms with who you are and how you’re going to cope in society…Many in their time of need, if not already religious, tend to turn to an external ‘god’ figure for guidance and comfort…For some this works, for others not…

For those who are free of a benevolent god-centric thought pattern…who do you or what did you turn to for comfort and guidance in your times of need?

What if I were to tell you, the only person you can rely on ie, truly ‘trust’ is…’YOURSELF’...In order to go forward on ones chosen path, one must have 'faith' in oneself... for without it, you will be well and truly lost!

A blissful state of happiness and contentment is ‘free’ to a good home/mind…

Have faith...happy mindfulness!

Metta Jendar :)

Link to comment

In a way that makes each individual their own God. The question is how do you reconcile the physical reality that effects your life that you have no control over. You can paint a pretty picture in your mind but when night comes it is dark outside.

Link to comment

Kia Ora Lisa,

Before I continue I would like to point out, I'm well aware that many in the forum are 'clinically depressed' and need specialist help - so please understand I am not 'judging' or being highly critical of them in anyway!

Are we not all gods of a sort?…to an extent able to create our own reality-and I don’t mean in a ‘fantasy’ world sense, I mean in the ‘real’ world..?

I’m nobody special, but I’ve managed to do this and in doing so, I’m in a constant state of contentment…

I realise many , can only envisage my somewhat ‘blissful’ state as some kind of a ‘fantasy’…How can one possibly be happy and content 24/7 each and everyday?

It’s all down to ones 'attitude' and how one ‘chooses’ to see life…If things go wrong, why prolong ones discontentment why carry this burden, when you don’t really have too…What’s happened as happened one must learn not to ‘cling’ to the negative and to get over it. And I’m sure most of you are aware that we do have a choice as to how we perceive life…

The key here is to do with ‘optimism’ [positive thinking] and ‘pessimism’ [negative thinking]…Due to ones thought pattern, some people are only capable of short bursts of optimism and sadly for the most part pessimism seems to dominate their lives…But this does not have to be…

I’ve mentioned before[well quite a few times] about ‘meditation’ and how it can enrich ones life…Western scientists, psychologists and medical doctors are just beginning to understand the power of meditation that is, a means of controlling ones mind that is very beneficial - a technique that’s been around for thousands of years…

My mind has got me to where I am now-a blissful state of awareness…And your mind can get you there too[if you let it]

Remember ...A mind full of pessimism will always remain in a 'discontented' state

:rolleyes: I guess to answer your question Lisa, in a nutshell…Through meditation one comes to understand ones mind and in doing so can develop a more positive attitude…

Happy mindfulness

Metta Jendar :)

Link to comment

Hi Jendar I believe that for the most part you are correct in your theory of meditation = finding and touching the innerself = the awakening = Awareness awareness as a continuous evolutionary process of being aware the reality around you and beyond. I do not believe in a God, or least ways not the one that they preach about in so many fundamentalist churches. The essence of creator and creation is the spark that is within each one of us and it all depends if you wish to accept and touch that spark with in the soul, which is part of all that exists within all dimensions as a **Oneness of spirit or souls.** I am not religious, I believe myself as Spiritual but I follow my own understandings and beliefs which I have accumulated through the years. I do believe there are certain forces that have an influence in our lives if we accept and believe in them. I also believe that much of our mission here on Earth Mother is that of discovery and learning=growth.

I didn't have an easy time, for 30 years of my life I was in an alcoholic, using alcohol as in attempt to escape from reality. Once the cork was back on the jug it did not take long to discover who I was, but I was terrified to really do anything about it let alone tell anyone. I discovered spirituality through the program of AA. Finally I arrived at the door to transition, and opened the door, and stepped through and never looked back. I am happy today, sometime I may even display the characteristics of a child, so my mate tells me. :) I ow my happiness very much to my spiritual beliefs and no longer fear of being punished if I am happy. I am the real me, the one I have dreamed about since childhood and no one is ever going to take her away from me.

I believe that all transsexual people have that spark within them, if they only but trust it and touch it, this will bring on the awakening which will eventually bring them to the awareness.

CindyBC

Link to comment

Kia Ora Cindy,

I’m glad to hear that you have found contentment and that you have taken time to share your experiences with myself and others…I’m sure they will also appreciate your comments…

I have not had to face the demons in the form of alcohol that many of you have had to face, perhaps it’s because I don’t possess the alcoholic ‘gene’ that some scientists believe some people have-Alcohol just does not agree with me which is a very fortunate thing…But I’m glad to see you have corked one jug and have let the good genie out of the other, so to speak…I doubt whether you will be able to even re cork the genie’s jug, even if you tried…

Metta Jendar

Link to comment
Guest CindyBC

Hi Jendar hon, thank you for your reply. Your right, I'm hanging on to that genie for all I'm worth. He will get along well with all my other imaginary friends. :rolleyes: Life is grand as long as one doesn't allow for anything to flap them and nudge them off the path. It's all in your mind some shrinks will say, well of course it is, but it all depends what one withes to take what ever it is they want to take for a walk into the real world. Choose well, have faith, in your own abilities, and pray to what ever higher power you believe in and meditate so that you be shown how to find the result you seek.

I know I sometimes tend to ramble on or get off on tangents all at one time, I am who I am, so if anyone doesn't understand what in tarnation I am talking, please don't be afraid to ask questions.

Cindy the fairy. ;)

sacredangel.gif

Link to comment
Guest CindyBC

Hi Jendar hon.......hmmmm. usually the posts turn up sooner then this but the last one didn't make it at all and I just want to tell you that I agree 110% to your last post. Now that I have that Genie in my hands there ain't no way I am letting him go. I truly enjoyed our brief exchange of thoughts. I just pray I don't lose anyone in our conversations, and if I do it is not intentional. I just tend to go off in kazilion different directions and when the trade winds start a blowing all I can do is go with it and hope I don't get lost in the wilderness of endless propositions. ;)

CindyBC

Link to comment
Guest CindyBC

Hi lisa hon, now there is one proposition I would sooner not bite on tonight. The last time I got on to the subject on a group I use to belong to, well like, is the glass half full or half empty? What if you stopper the glass and tilt the glass and let the liquid go to the top of the glass, Is there less volume of water in the larger end of the glass? We had it broken right down to it's subatomic particles, is there more subatomic particles in liquid then there is in the air and does that also include the cup?

That silly discussion went on for three bloody weeks and at each turn it just got more complicated, but there was also a growing sense of humor and laughter that grew in proportion to the subatomic particles. I love laughing, discussing scientific propositions, metaphysical, the mysterious and unexplained, philosophical discussions, riddles, reciting prose and of course, telling BS stories. Now all that is needed to top all of this is for someone to clao their hands and yell "Booooo!" and watch how fast I go and hide under the bed, a pair of glow in the dark eyes blinking back at you. My sense of humor I believe is equal in proportion to my curiosity.

cry3.gif

Cindy the fairy

Link to comment
Guest lisa49
In a way that makes each individual their own God. The question is how do you reconcile the physical reality that effects your life that you have no control over. You can paint a pretty picture in your mind but when night comes it is dark outside.
Through controlling my thoughts I have developed a positive attitude and in doing so I am able to shape my reality …

By night I mean when your part of the earth is turned away from the sun. You need to physically turn a light on etc. to see. Now you thought I was referring to a pessimistic idea and answered in that way. See the difference between an objective understanding and a self created subjective one. By shaping your reality is that not an action of a god?

I believe

Anytime you have to add those words you are the creator. It is not the physical world you describing, but it is your perspective of the situation. Knowing the facts and the rules of the physical world helps you understand the difference between rational actions for the use of facts and irrational actions based on emotions and other created beliefs.

Link to comment

Kia Ora,

Now what I’m about to say is not arrogance on my part-[if one sees it that way that’s one choice- but not my intention], I’m just trying to put into perspective where I’m at in life and how this came about…

I’m well aware that my situation is more favourable than most, that is I blend into society as my affirmed gender and I’m not confronted with the social gauntlet that many of you may have to run on a regular bases - such as questioning looks from passers-by, or issues with toilets etc … But the fortunate situation that I find myself in, is just a small percentage of my contentment, it is not it’s foundation…In my everyday life I see and heard about cisgender and trans people’s struggles, the mundane type that no longer presents a challenge to me, because I ‘choose’ to see things in a different light and in doing so I’m more relaxed and content and judging by the comments I get from others whom I physically interact with- they can sense the contentment I feel…"Why are you so relaxed! etc etc"

That was either 'cleaver or clever' observation on your part Lisa – however that’s how ‘you’ personally choose to perceive life-through constant philosophical questioning thought, but [keeping to the topic at hand] tell me, do you have ‘contentment’-happiness with your situation in life?…and is it sporadic- depending on the situation or constant regardless of the situation?

Because you personally have yet to experience what I’m experiencing, you give the impression by your comments that what I say I experience daily 24/7 is impossible-out of a ‘normal’ person’s reach…If you 'think' that way then it will remain out of reach...I think therefore I am[this is from a Buddhist perspective]

I know what I know because I’m ‘living’ it each and everyday ...I live life-While many still question it…

However, this post is not a philosophical debate, I really do care and want to know about and possibly help others come to terms with the situation they find themselves in, in life…and hopefully provide them with a workable means to improving their situation…

My wish is for you all to feel what I feel each day -'contentment'...

And as my 17 year old daughter's answer phone message says... "If you can dream it... you can do it!"

Happy mindfulness

Metta Jendar :)

Link to comment
Guest lisa49

Because I question does not mean there is not contentment. I have so far lived a wonderful life as I too have a daughter in graduate school on her way to being a doctor. Also a son in college as much more of a romantic which will head in a different direction. I too blend very well as I am 5'5" at 135 pounds and had Dr. O and Suporn make me flawless also I have no need for a job. I do enjoy puzzles and philosophic discussions and live with a friend who is studying Greek and Latin. I find life in paradox and the difference in things. Harmony makes me uncomfortable and lazy. Life is for living and the time is limited. To avoid pain seems like a positive idea but not at the expense of a full life so each of us has to decide for them selves when to change things.

I find that people are much more happy when they work things out by them selves. I do help when asked but do not believe in being on a mission.

"If you can dream it... you can do it!"

A nice dream but physically impossible. I can dream of going through a black hole. I can only do it in a dream. But with hard work and understanding the steps and plenty of time you can accomplish the most important thing in your life just not everything you want to happen.

My wish is for you all to feel what I feel each day -'contentment'...

A wish is like a praying it motivates you and sets up your subconsciousness to look and act on opportunities.

I do things to help people see the possibilities.

Link to comment

Kia Ora,

:rolleyes: To bear a grudge…. who really carries the 'unpleasant' burden - the bearer or their target?

Like Laura and her helpers I too am on a 'mission' ! ‘Altruism’ I think has something to do with it...

Lisa, I’m happy to hear that thanks to money, plastic surgery and good surgeons you don’t have to run society’s gauntlet and that you also have children who are doing well…[ I have four –one living in Japan the others still busy studying, two in high school the other at uni…No doubt they will also continue to travel overseas to experience and enrich their lives]

However, back to the point... there are some people out there who think because another is in a ‘better’ position, this other person’s life must be relatively free of hassles…My point was ‘yes’ I blend in and don’t have to run a gauntlet, but that’s not what makes me fully content-There are people with plenty of money and material things plus are blessed with being naturally attractive-but for some, true happiness still remains out of their reach…There are other things in my life that contribute to my happiness…and that is having a positive attitude…

My genital surgery was government funded…I have ‘no’ money in the bank-I ‘rent’ a one bedroom apartment-I’m ‘not’ fully employed-I have a beat up old car that’s on it’s last legs…Many in this forum are much better off material wise-I have none of the ‘material’ things that many of you treasure and from what I gather brings you happiness…But I’m happy and content and wished to share the reasons why I feel this way and in doing so perhaps it will inspire others to see life differently…

I was only quoting what was on my daughter’s answer phone and that she [like Martin Luther King Jnr ] believes in working towards ones dreams...But because of your somewhat ‘highly critical nature’, you have made it quite clear, you don't tolerant somebody having dreams-a thing that you 'personally' find absurd !

But again I’m truly happy that you have found what you ‘perceive’ as true happiness…

Finally...Lisa in all sincerity, I'm saying yes you are right-you win- what you have said is your truth I can not deny that...I hope this 'victory' satisfy's your 'need' to be right...I'm sure the others don't want to be burdened with our personal disagreements that's moving away from the topic at hand...I apologise - It was not my intention for this to happen...

I would like to leave you ‘all’ with this analogy I came across recently:

“Knowledge without spirit is like finding yourself on a cold night with all the wood in the world and not a flame with which to light it!”

Happy mindfulness [and for those who 'only' see material gain as happiness - may your material world continue to overflow!]

Metta Jendar :)

Link to comment
Guest CindyBC

Hi Jade, what a wonderful declaration of which I have come to discover to a greater degree. All that is required to be content with oneself is t feel whole and to be at peace with one's Self. Not many understand what it is, I try to tell them and maybe what I tell is all gibberish, maybe I just don't belong in the rooms anymore. I had only come to see if I could share some and maybe be of service. I may just move on.

Have a wonderful day.

CindyBC

Link to comment
Guest lisa49
Happy mindfulness [and for those who 'only' see material gain as happiness - may your material world continue to overflow!

I would like to point out that happiness is not the pinnacle of life just as materialism can not buy you happiness. Happiness is a personal emotion, not a human achievement. If you look at the big picture you will see that humans are a part of something much bigger. Knowledge is a cumulative collection of many humans and growing all the time. Each of us can and do feel good about contributing to the overall pool of world knowledge because we know it will benefit future generations and keep life going.

Dreams are the seeds of invention not the reality of the future. It takes hard work as well as knowledge to move from a dream to a rational realistic action.

like Martin Luther King Jr ] believes in working toward ones dreams
If you take your beliefs and say that there is no universe wafter death the Kings dreams are dead. But if you understand society is more than an individual you see that some of his hard work has been continued by others and managed to change society for the better, not perfect. People are still making changes and not exactly what the dreams told but things that are within a framework of rational physical reality might I say the material world.
I do things to help people see the possibilities

This has nothing to do with victory. It has to do with other possibilities than just beliefs. It has to do with rational thinking and the power it has to change your life. I have nothing against positive thinking in fact I think it is very helpful but I do see people not living to their full potential when they do not question things. Compassion comes from giving not just feeling.

Link to comment

Kia Ora Cindy,

I hope whichever way you flow the ‘genie’ is there with you…

Happiness and contentment is just a state of mind…and judging by your comments you have also found the key, I hope you make plenty of copies and continue to provide others with this precious key to contentment…

I know you already have this - but ‘Happy mindfulness’ anyway…I guess I’m somewhat selfish, because I also get a real warm feeling when saying it…

:rolleyes: One can’t have too much of a good thing…

"Um Mani Padme Hum!"

What we seek we are!

Metta Jendar :)

Link to comment
Guest CindyBC

Hi Jendar, Oh I know the Genie has always been with me I only just had to awaken to that fact. Life is what you make and it would be a false statement to say that i don't get bad times, I do but the just aren't very long in duration most times only a few hours or less. Yes happiness is a state of mind.

Thank you for sharing.

CindyBC

Link to comment

Kia Ora Lisa,

I truly do appriciate your wise words and your over powering knowledge of all things 'right' [according to 'Lisa' and the gods you worship]...They have rewarded you well[and BTW it is a form of 'worship'] .. However I'm somewhat amused at how you cling to and analyse my humble word- :rolleyes: it makes me feel special!

I can not force you to let go of the bone of contention[your frustration/grudge] the pull of your force-pride is too strong - nor do I want too-you must find this out for yourself... So may you continue to find pleasure in chewing upon it! :)

I would be a fool not to expect the final word from you,[my words seem to have that charaisma]... so please be my guest and oblige me...I hope you find lasting peace from doing so...

The 'need' to always be 'right'and to try in 'vain' to prove the other wrong-stems from a discontented, highly strung mind, that sadly can not 'accept' defeat nor a compromise when it is on the table...

This shallow victory will always be yours Lisa, so please enjoy it - for a victory without any reward is a empty one...

You truly are my 'karma' and I totally accept you for what you are! :)

"Thank you...I have learnt a lot from your 'highly critical' somewhat 'cold' calculating mind...And from the start I realise that you are only trying to teach others what 'you believe' is the right and only way for them to go... But your methods of doing so definately need some 'refining'...Perhaps a touch of 'human' kindness along with warm 'feelings'!" [again I won't hold my breath]

[Phew!!! I hope this is enough for you to chew on for a while!!! I've run out of bait/bone]

And for the other readers...Perhaps you could spare a 'bone' for Lisa to get her teeth into!!!

Happy mindfulness...And Lisa, may 'true' wisdom catch up with your age before the lights go out...

Metta Jendar :)

Link to comment
Guest lisa49

A person who lives only within themselves and is living in the abstract. (Existing only in concept and not in reality: hypothetic, hypothetical, ideal, theoretic, theoretical, transcendent, transcendental.)

Link to comment
  • 4 weeks later...
Guest Paula D
Kia Ora,

As many of you already know I’m a godless person, even when the concept of a god was floating though my mind’s eye [many moons ago] I couldn’t quite make this concept tangible…However I finally found the key to true happiness and contentment when I discovered ‘myself’….It’s an incredible, blissful feeling, accepting and taking full responsibility for ones actions and the situation one finds oneself in, in life…Through controlling my thoughts I have developed a positive attitude and in doing so I am able to shape my reality …

I know that many of you are still coming to terms with who you are and how you’re going to cope in society…Many in their time of need, if not already religious, tend to turn to an external ‘god’ figure for guidance and comfort…For some this works, for others not…

For those who are free of a benevolent god-centric thought pattern…who do you or what did you turn to for comfort and guidance in your times of need?

What if I were to tell you, the only person you can rely on ie, truly ‘trust’ is…’YOURSELF’...In order to go forward on ones chosen path, one must have 'faith' in oneself... for without it, you will be well and truly lost!

A blissful state of happiness and contentment is ‘free’ to a good home/mind…

Have faith...happy mindfulness!

Metta Jendar :)

Link to comment
Guest Paula D

I am just joining this group, so I will start slowly. I too believe in a no-god

spirituality -- though really that amounts to finding a god within myself.

To keep that from being self-centered, I also believe that I must continue

to be a searcher. And where I find the source of such confirmation of

my spirituality (and my sexuality) is in Nature.

I have much more to say on that, but I'll stop for now to see what

if any reaction I might get.

But before signing off I should say how much I appreciate everything

I have read from everyone so far. That doesn't mean I agree with

ever detail of everything, but I welcome whatever good comes my way in this life.

Greetings to all. Paula

Link to comment
  • 1 year later...
Guest Syamantaka

Jendar greetings

I take responsibility for my own actions, I do not pawn my short commings off on some diety. The Desiderata, is my guide. What I find

cool about this is an ordinary person wrote this. So anyone of us could do something awsome and help society mature.

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.

Take kindly to the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God/ess, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life,

keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Just wanted to share with you as it was shared with me 34 years ago. :)

Link to comment
  • 1 year later...
Guest roxannemariska

I'm totally with your first post Zenda. I abandoned the god delusion a few years back and it was the most liberating event of my life. No, I did not become my own god. I realized I was just one more pile of molecules organized for a fleeting moment into consciousness. I will eventually return to the state I was before I was born: star stuff.

This perspective allowed me to understand that I am not special in any way, no higher purpose or god's plan. I just happen to have fallen well to the extreme end of the bell curve when it comes to gender. So I am not an abomination, a bad person, immoral, or perverted. I am who and what I am. I can do no other. Now it is entirely up to me to make the most of my life.

This realization gave me the determination, and courage to embrace what I have come to understand is my Two-Spiritedness. Had I not pursued this intellectual honesty, I would still be in therapy trying to 'fix' what was 'wrong' with me.

Link to comment
  • 7 months later...
Guest Weaver
Through controlling my thoughts I have developed a positive attitude and in doing so I am able to shape my reality …

I am unable to do that since my personality does not allow it. I cannot bend reality to my mind, it doesn't work that way.

I must bend my mind to reality, just like the water must become shaped like the glass it is poured into.

Anything else would be delusion I think.

For those who are free of a benevolent god-centric thought pattern…who do you or what did you turn to for comfort and guidance in your times of need?

For a long time it was spiritual pipe-dreams that I threw away when I understood they were only escapism on my part.

I took a concept so dear to me, so emotionally close to me and popped that balloon.

I can draw a parallel here to the matrix. "There is no spoon". And there was no spoon, my pipe dream wasn't real, not matter how much

comfort it gave me.

Now I confide in other people. I cannot observe myself objectively, so they act as filters for the raw data that I can give them.

I.E: My thoughts, my feelings and some behaviours that I have kept track on.

They process it and give an outside view that I can reflect upon.

What if I were to tell you, the only person you can rely on ie, truly ‘trust’ is…’YOURSELF’...In order to go forward on ones chosen path, one must have 'faith' in oneself... for without it, you will be well and truly lost!

I don't completely trust myself because I have emotions like anger. Anger is a special thing for me. During a lot of my childhood anger was avoided (at home) and I got

yelled and screamed at, at the daycare, when I showed my anger. They didn't trust me either, but I always told the truth. I do not lie directly. Sometimes I withold information, but I never lie directly.

I strive for 'truth'. There is no point in lying for me, it gives me no satisfaction. Sadness or grief is kept in check, somehow, I don't know how.

Anger is swiftly cut off by intense anxiety. The anxiety is ten times worse than the anger itself.

I still get annoyed, frustrated and mad without the anxiety. It's cool as long as the anger isn't turned at anyone who is also angry at me.

I second-guess myself a lot, but it's been a lot less lately. I am still not able to decide on HRT, and I'd need a specialist to talk to before

deciding. I don't trust that my emotions will lead me right on this path. I know the irony in this since all my choices are influenced by emotions.

It's just that this is not a trivial choice. It's a very hard one.

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...
Guest agfrommd

I am unable to do that since my personality does not allow it. I cannot bend reality to my mind, it doesn't work that way.

I must bend my mind to reality, just like the water must become shaped like the glass it is poured into.

Anything else would be delusion I think.

I agree strongly. I have a bunch of friends who believe in a movie called "The Secret" that claims that all you have to do is want something and that will make the universe work to bring it to you. I expressed my skepticism and they just kind of humphed, but I could tell they thought I was being close-minded.

All that being said, it's made me a happier person to do my best to unpin my well-being and attitude from whats going on around me. Just because sucky things happened today doesn't mean it has to be a sucky day. I can celebrate, for example, that I made the best of a bad situation or that I have good friends to help me thought bad times.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   10 Members, 0 Anonymous, 124 Guests (See full list)

    • Abigail Genevieve
    • Ashley0616
    • Carolyn Marie
    • KatieSC
    • Jet McCartney
    • ClaireBloom
    • Timi
    • MaeBe
    • rachel w
    • Mmindy
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.6k
    • Total Posts
      768.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,022
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Asher the Enby Goddex
    Newest Member
    Asher the Enby Goddex
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Bebhar
      Bebhar
      (41 years old)
    2. caelensmom
      caelensmom
      (40 years old)
    3. Jani
      Jani
      (70 years old)
    4. Jessicapitts
      Jessicapitts
      (37 years old)
    5. klb046
      klb046
      (30 years old)
  • Posts

    • Abigail Genevieve
      He pushed it out.   Years passed.  Graduation, engagement to Lois.  He was 5'10", she was 5'3".  People thought the height difference was amusing.  At one point he thought to himself I will never fit in her clothes.  Bewildered as to where the thought had come from, he suppressed it. Marriage.   Wedding night: sitting, waiting in anticipation of what was to come.  Lois had left her dress on the bed and was in the hotel bathroom.   He drew in a breath and touched it.  Lacy, exquisitely feminine.  He stroked it.  Incredible.  A whole different world, a different gender, enticing.  "Like it?" she said, as she came out.  He nodded.  But she was meaning her negligee.   Later she noticed a small tear in her wedding dress and wondered where it came from.   Over the years there were dresses that had not been hung up properly in her closet, as if they had been taken down and hung up incorrectly.  It made no sense. Her underwear drawer had been gone through.  She checked the locked windows. They had a landlord at that time.  Pervert, coming into apartments and doing this.  She felt violated.   Then they bought a house.  They had two kids.  Her underwear drawer was being regularly gone through. Not Odie. It could not be Odie.  Odie was as macho as they come, something she liked.  It could not possibly be Odie. Finally there was a slip with a broken strap.   "Odie, I found the strap on my black slip torn.  How could that have happened?'   He didn't know.  He looked guilty, but he didn't know.   The rifling stopped for a while, then started up again.  She read up on cross-dressing.    "Odie, I love you," she said, "I've been reading up on cross-dressing."   He had that deer-in-the headlights look.   "I've read it is harmless, engaged in by heterosexual men, and is nothing to be ashamed of."   He looked at her. No expression.   "Look, I am even willing to buy you stuff in your size.  A friend of mine saw you sneaking around the women's clothing department at Macy's, then you bought something and rushed out.  No more of that, okay? The deal is that you don't do it in front of me or the kids. Do we have a deal?"   They had a deal.  Lois thought it was resolved, and her stuff was no longer touched. Every now and again a package arrived for "Odi", deliberately misspelling his name, and she never opened those.  Sometimes they went and bought things, but he never tried them on in front of her.   "The urge just builds until I have to, Lois.  I am sorry. It's like I can't control it." "That's what I read.  But your Dad would kill you." "There is that."   Lois thought the deal would last.  Things were under control.  
    • Davie
      Lama Rod describes himself as a Black Buddhist Southern Queen. He wants to free you from suffering. Lama Rod Owens is seen as an influential voice in a new generation of Buddhist teachers. He blends his training in the Kagyu School of Tibetan Buddhism with experiences from his life as a Black, queer man, raised as a Christian in the South.   https://apnews.com/article/buddhist-lama-black-lgbtq-wellness-506b1e85687d956eff81f7f4261f5e98  
    • MaeBe
      I would have balked years ago, echoing the parenting of generations before me, exclaiming "Parents know best!" at what I just wrote. It hasn't been that long, but I came to a realization that some of that need for control is unwarranted. Is my child really harming anything by identifying a certain way? Are they being harmed by having others in and around their lives that do? I have been more conversational with my kids when it comes to things and when we run into issues. Like when friends that were toxic, start coming back into the fold, I wanted to make sure that bad behaviors aren't (re)occurring. Or when we notice behaviors that concern us that we have a dialogue. Those chats aren't always nice, clean, or resolved perfectly, but we're communicating. We're learning from each other in those moments, which lead to things being shared that I am sure other parents aren't hearing from their kids and we grow as people because of it.   I will say, it's been easier over the past few years (even before hormones) as this more feminine me finds its way out. I'm a lighter touch, I don't get as entrenched as I once did, and I feel connected a little more emotionally. But, of course, I still make mistakes. As long as we learn from them, right?
    • missyjo
      1. attended Keystone conference a celebration of genders with 700 other lgbt friends. it was wonderful, other lgbt folks, hotel staff n town all welcoming n that felt great.   2. part time job in ladies clothing store, bring missy n helping women dress n relating to them as one    3. folks here   4. creepy guys trying to hit on me..laughs..wrong audience but something must be right   your turn friends
    • missyjo
      orange cotton top n sashed jeans..wedges off now..torrid undies in light blue bra n lace panties   I'm trying minimum makeup..shrugs..well see hugs if you want them
    • Abigail Genevieve
      It was hot that August day, even in Hall J.  Hall J was a freshman dormitory, and Odie had just unpacked his stuff.  He sat on the edge of his bed.  He had made it. He was here, five hundred miles away from home.  His two roommates had not arrived, and he knew no one. His whole life lay ahead of him, and he thought of the coming semester with excitement and dread.   No one knew him.  No one. Suddenly he was seized with a desire to live out the rest of his life as a woman.  With that, he realized that he had felt that way for a long time.  He had never laughed when guys made jokes about women, and often he felt shut out of certain conversations.  He was neither effeminate nor athletic, and he had graduated just fine, neither too high in his class to be considered a nerd or low enough to not get into this college, which was more selective than many. He was a regular guy.  He had dated some, he liked girls and they liked him.  He had friends, neither fewer than most nor more than most.   Drama club in high school: he had so wanted to try out for female parts but something held him back.  He remembered things from earlier in his life: this had been there, although he had suppressed it. Mom had caught him carrying his sister's clothes to his room when he was eight, shortly before the divorce, and he got thoroughly scolded.  They also made sure it never, ever happened again. He had always felt like that had contributed somehow to the divorce, but it was not discussed, either.  He was a boy and that was the end of it.   Dad was part of that.  He got Odie every other weekend from the time of the divorce and they went hunting, fishing, boating, doing manly things because Dad thought he should be a man's man. The first thing that always happened was the buzz cut.  Dad was always somewhat disappointed in Odie, it seemed, but never said why.  He was a hard man and he had contempt for sissies, although that was never directed at Odie. Mom always said she loved him no matter what, but never explained what that meant.   Odie looked through the Freshman Orientation Packed.  Campus map.  Letter from the Chancellor welcoming him.  Same from the Dean.  List of resources: health center, suicide prevention, and his heart skipped a beat: transgender support.  There was something like that here?   He tore off a small piece of paper.  With sweating hands he wrote on it "I need to be a girl." He looked at it, tore it up and put the different pieces in different trash cans, even one in a men's room toilet the men on this floor shared. He flushed it and made sure it went down.  No one had seen him; he was about the first to arrive.   He returned to his room.   He looked in the mirror.  He was five-ten, square jawed, crew cut.  Dad had seen to it that he exercised and he had muscles.  No, he said to himself, not possible. Not likely.  He had to study and he had succeeded so far by pushing this sort of thing into the back of his mind or wherever it came from.   A man was looking back at him, the hard, tough man Dad had formed him to be, and there was absolutely nothing feminine about any of it.  With that, Odie rejected all this stuff about being trans.  There had been a few of those in high school, and he had always steered clear of them.  A few minutes later he met his roommates.
    • EasyE
      yes, i agree with this ... i guess my biggest frustrations with all this are: 1) our country's insistence to legislate everything with regards to morals ... 2) the inability to have a good, thorough, honest conversation which wrestles with the nuances of these very complex issues without it denigrating to name-calling or identity politics.  agreed again... i still have a lot to learn myself ... 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      It's been bugging me that the sneakers I have been wearing are 1) men's and 2) I need canvas, because summer is coming.  WM has a blue tax on shoes, don't you know? My protocol is to go when there is no one in the ladies' area because I get looks that I don't like, and have been approached with a 'can I help you sir' in a tone than means I need to explain myself, at which point i become inarticulate.   But I found these canvas shoes.  Looking at them, to see if they would pass as male, I realized they might not, and furthermore, I don't really care.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      My wife's nurse was just here.  It is a whole lot easier to relate to her as another woman than to negotiate m/f dynamics and feel like I have to watch myself as a male around her.  It dropped a lot of the tension off, tension that I thought entirely internal to myself, but it made interactions a whole lot better.     I read your post, so I thought I would go look.   In the mirror I did not see a woman; instead I saw all these male features.  In the past that has been enough for me to flip and say 'this is all stupid ridiculous why do I do this I am never going to do this again I am going to the basement RIGHT NOW to get men's stuff and I feel like purging'.  Instead I smiled, shrugged my shoulders and came back here.  Panties fit, women's jeans fit.  My T shirt says DAD on it, something I do not want to give up, but a woman might crazily steal hubby's t-shirt and wear it.  I steal my own clothes all the time.    But she is here, this woman I liked it when I saw her yesterday. and her day will come.  I hope to see her again.
    • April Marie
      So many things become easier when you finally turn that corner and see "you" in the mirror. Shedding the guilt, the fear, the questioning becomes possible - as does self-love - when that person looking back at you, irrespective of what you're wearing, is the real you.   I am so happy for you!! Enjoy the journey and where it leads you.
    • MaeBe
      I'm sure even the most transphobic parents would, too. What does it hurt if a child socializes outside of their family in a way that allows them to understand themselves better? I have encountered a handful of kids do the binary, non-binary, back to binary route and they got to learn about themselves. In the end, there may have been some social self-harm but kids are so darned accepting these days. And really, schools aren't policing pronouns, but the laws that are coming out are making them do so--and in turn requiring a report to a parent that may cause some form of harm to the child.   If the kid wants to lie to, or keep secrets from, their parents about their gender expressions, what does it say about the parents? Perhaps a little socialization of their thoughts will give them the personal information to have those conversations with them? So when they do want to have that conversation they can do so with some self-awareness. This isn't a parent's rights issue, it's about forcing a "moral code" onto schools that they must now enforce--in a way that doesn't appreciably assist parents or provide benefit to children.   So, a child that transitioned at 5 and now in middle/high school that is by all rights female must now go into a bathroom full of dudes? What about trans men, how will the be treated in the girl's restroom? I see a lot of fantasy predator fearmongering in this kind of comment. All a trans kid wants to do in a bathroom is to handle their bodily functions in peace. Ideally there would be no gendered restrooms or, at least, a valid option for people to choose a non-gendered restroom. However, where is the actual harm happening? A trans girl in a boy's room is going experience more harm than a girl being uncomfortable about a trans girl going into and out of a stall.   How about we teach our children that trans people aren't predators who are trying to game the system to eek out some sexual deviancy via loophole? How about we treat gender in a way that doesn't enforce the idea that girls are prey and boys are  predators? How about we teach them trans kids are just kids who want to get on with their day like everyone else?
    • Adrianna Danielle
      I hope so and glad he loves and accepts me for who I am
    • EasyE
      It is sad that we can't have more open and honest dialogue on these types of topics because there is worthy debate for sure. But instead we have become a country where the only goal is to seize political power and then legislate our particular agenda and views of morality.   Remember as you read my thoughts below, that I am transgender. OK? I am pro-trans. I am trans.   But my middle school aged daughter would be extremely uncomfortable using a school bathroom also used by a biological male, as would nearly all of her friends. That side has to be considered. It's not invalidating to a trans youth's experience to take that into account and hash out what is for the common good of as many people as possible. This is reality - one person's gender expression makes others uncomfortable, in all directions. And there is disagreement on the best way to handle these types of things.   Why can't we talk about these things openly, without the inevitable name-calling that follows, and let all sides have their input and work up suitable solutions? (I bet the kids, if left alone, would work up the best solutions)... Instead, we go straight to trying to pass laws, as if we need more of those!   And why wouldn't we want parents to know if their child has decided to change their pronouns? That's a big deal and parents are right to raise that as a concern. I certainly would want to know. Not that we need to legislate this, but I would have a hard time with school administrators who try to hide this from me. They are out of line. This is my child. Whether you like my viewpoints or not, I am the parent. Not the school.    Again, I am pro-trans. I am trans. At the same point, I recognize that validating a transgender individual's gender identity doesn't trump everything else in society. And sometimes I see that creeping into these discussions. Plus, we fight a losing battle if we have to have others' validation. We are never going to get it from everybody. Ever. Not even Jesus got it and He is God himself!   This country can be very beautiful as we each exercise our freedom to be who we are and let others do the same. But my freedom ends where yours begins and vice-versa. That requires self-sacrifice. Sometimes we have to fall back out of respect for others. Sometimes we have to let the parent be the parent even if we disagree with their politics.   My cry in the wilderness is just can we please have more open, honest dialogue where both sides try take the other's views into consideration and quit automatically going the legislative route to criminalize the other side's viewpoints.   Sorry for the rant but sometimes all of this wears me out... deep sigh... 
    • RaineOnYourParade
      Bite by bite, acrobatics in abdomen
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Yesterday when I put that shirt on I saw a woman looking back out of the mirror at me.  Usually I have looked and been very frustrated because I see a man where there should be a woman.  I was expecting to see a man wearing a woman's shirt, but it was a woman wearing a woman's shirt.   On the spectrum between intersex and trans, I am more thinking I am a lot more intersex than trans, and it is only a matter of time before my wife says "you need a bra" and then "you look like a woman!" She told me whatever I want to do is fine with her, she loves me no matter what, and I am thinking that there may be a lot more for her in this than she could possibly expect. I'm not pushing it with her.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...