that awkward moment when..

[Guest androgynous02]

your nephew keeps refering to you as a boy and your brother (his dad) yells at him for it. i wanted to be like "but i am a boy..just on the inside..but soon my body will match who i am!" but i didnt wanna make a huge deal out of it so i didnt say anything..but i felt kinda stupid. has this ever happened to any of you guys before..?

[Guest Robin Winter]

Yes...my wife has done it when correcting my daughter, which hurt me quite a bit. I understand.

[Guest androgynous02]

aw, im sorry shilo. i can imagine how much that hurt, hopefully she doesnt correct your daughter as much anymore, if at all..? one of my biggest annoyances is when someone knows what gender you are but doesnt refer to you as that certain gender, especially if you are trans. like, i consider myself a male, but my best friend keeps referring to me as "she" which bothers me. i have yet to talk to her about it, because i dont want to make her upset. i think it bothers me so much because to me, its like they dont care enough to remember. but i know how hard it is to accept something big like that, so maybe thats why? eh, either way ill be like "so..i really like having male pronouns used when im being talked to/about." even though ive already had this conversation with her multiple times.

[Guest Robin Winter]

Yep, I kinda feel that way too, like she doesn't care enough to try, but I can't really force the issue because we work together and I'm not out at work, and I can't expect her to be conscious of how she's referring to me at all times. It's an unfair expectation. It still hurts though.

[Guest androgynous02]

yeah thats true..that was kinda my reasoning behind it too, i cant expect them to be thinking about it all the time. but youre right, it still hurts all the same.

[Guest Amanda Whyte]

Androgynous, maybe keep talking to your friend about "other" people doing it and it will dawn on her that she is doing it.

[JJ]

My daughter who was verbally supportive and tried hard to accept actually has hard a really hard time and it took her 10 months to use proper pronouns in public. Still uses the wrong pronouns and calls me Grammy instead of the Grandpa (A name I dislike but hey the child never ever slips so I'll accept it) to my my granddaughtern or is addressing anyone and thinks I can't hear.

We have had some very unpleasant discussions about it. Finally when everyone else was calling me Sir and seeing me as male she had to change in public or look weird. Her reason for refusing to change befopre was that people would think something was wrong with her to use male pronouns because I didn't pass. I asked her why she was concerned about the feelings of stramgers more than mine because she was hurting me. She had no answer but did alter her speech so she used no pronouns in my hearing.

And she has called my by name once in these 11 months. Well my nickname JJ actually. Otherwise she refuses to call me any name at all.

It hurts a lot. But I realized I made a mistake and actually slowed down the process when I made and issue of it. So I backed off and figured time would take care of it. It is. With painful slowness but it is.

Hope you can work it put.

Johnny

[Guest androgynous02]

amanda: thats a good idea, ill definitely give that a shot. thanks!

jj: thats quite the story, thanks for sharing it. i guess slow progress is progress, no matter how much it may not seem like it. i know how badly you want your granddaughter to understand, im in kinda the same boat but with my dad. so i hear ya..i hope everything works out for you, and that she soon comes around to fully accepting you for who you are.

[Guest leo]

That used to happen to me all the time my younger cousins used to call me a boy all the time made me feel good though

[Guest Itzika]

The one time I crossdressed well enough to pass in real life, my mom ruined it by calling me by my full name in front of the saleswoman who had thought I was a guy. I was so embarrassed for the woman. I wanted to tell her, "No, you were right. Well, I mean, you're right today." Weirdly, I wasn't embarrassed for me, just annoyed with Mom.

[Guest ashermohawk]

this happens to me all the time with my little couzine (i cant spell). she's 4 and when ever she comes over, she always calls me he and him, even tho my birth name is one of the girlyest out there. its embarassing when my mom and aunt tell her, "no, say SHE, not HE". but its kinda funny. its like the young can see past all the crap and see who you really are, not who society wants you to be. and my manner is quite guyish, i'm surprised my aunt hasnt figured it out yet either.

[Guest Gauvain]

This happens to me a lot with my parents, especially my mom. I pass really well apparently and almost everyone when I'm out in public refers to me as guy. But of course, whenever I'm with my parents my mom always has to "correct" them. My dad "corrects" them sometimes but other times just kinda flinches but lets it go.

Probably one of the most... confusing? moments with my mom was when we were at the museum and getting some lunch there. he person serving food referred to me as a guy and when we went to sit down she went on a rant about it. "I don't get what everyone's problem it," she said. "I have no problem figuring out people's gender." And to that, I said nothing, but in my mind I was thinking; "Yeah, everyone's except for your own son's..." By that point I had already tried to tell my parents about being trans, but my mom completely ignored me and completely forgot the whole thing happen less than 48 hours afterwords.

Yeah, that was just kind of a "what...?" moment, but my point is that it happens to me all the time with a lot of people... ^^;

[Guest Kael147]

My niece callsme auntie, but refers to me as he and calls me an old man. No one corrects her - it's sweet.

My family still calls me she and have asked me to tell them when they want me to have them switch pronouns.

Maybe asking will help if you want to be called he.

Take it easy.

Kael

[Guest Rowan19]

People that don't know (That I know) and my Mum always correct, my friends that know switch back and forth and everyone else just gets it right. Lol.

One time when I was out with friends that didn't know I totally got called on the bathroom thing! Some guy yelled out, 'Hey mate, that's the ladies!' I pretended not to hear him because of the others. But if they hadn't been there I probably would've thanked him and gone to the mens! XD

[Guest androgynous02]

i totally know what you mean rowan, i can certainly relate to that. and i agree with the statement that its like the little kids can see past society and refer to you as how you identify. i wish that never went away as you got older. but i know, i seriously hate it when my dad "corrects" the salesperson or whoever im talking to when they refer to me as a boy. im absolutely mortified. all i wanna do is say "no, you had it right the first time." thats actually probably why i never refer to someone as "ma'am" or "sir" because gender is so fluid.

[Guest Haruka]

My nephew calls me sir at times and it make me feel happy but my sister does correct him. Sometimes he asks me if I'm a boy or a girl and I want to say boy so much but I just say I'm a broom.

[Guest Kallum]

I was on holidays just recently and I was down at the creek, hanging out with a bunch of kids I didn't know and my brother. Straight away they were using male pronouns and one kid kept saying that me and my brother were Brothers. It was so much fun it went along like that all afternoon.

The one akward moment was when my brother said some thing like this "Yeah well she's like that." I wanted to disapear off the face of the earth. To my surprise the afternoon just went on as it had before, I passed well enough for them not to think anything of it.

I think it was kinda hard on my brother (he's 13) but for me it was my first full afternoon of being called a boy!

[Guest Oryx]

I told my sister, and she said she was totally fine and not surprised by it, and then kept referring to me as "Auntie ___" to her dog. Not as if anyone else was there to hear, so... yeah.

[Guest androgynous02]

oryx, i know what you mean. you tell them, but then its like they dont take it into consideration after you tell them. so i dont really understand that..