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Guest Amberley_Vail

Help for a friend

3 posts in this topic

I dont really know how to phrase this, but Ill try.

Theres a girl that Im fairly good friends with [id like to be more than friends, but more on that later] We used to date when we were both 16/17 but I was a little [EXPLETIVE DELETED]. I was a terrible person. I compensated for my insecurities by trying to 'pull' as many girls as I could. Me and her kissed a few times, and I never really considered it anything more than that.

Anyway, we fell out of contact somewhat when I went to university, but have been back in contact for a good year now. Fairly recently we started meeting up more, and she's opened up to me. SHe admits that she has self esteem issues and cuts at bad times.

At the weekend, I was at a house party, and she sent me a message asking me how my day was going, and when I returned the question she admitted she'd been crying and cutting.

Ive tried telling her that I can appreciate nothing I say can change her mind right away, but that if she feels low, Ill be there to talk to, to vent to whatever she needs.

Is there any way I should be going about trying to re-assure her that she doesnt need to do this? I feel really guilty because of how I messed with her head when we were teens.

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1) show concern for her well being.

2) show you want to support her

3) address the reason she is cutting

4) find alternatives for SI

5) never judge her for cutting or say how bad cutting is, it will only make her feel worse

6) remind her how to have genuine fun

7) open up to her a bit.

8) address the guilt openly and remind her she is a good person and deserves to be happy.

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If you can't be "young and stupid" when you are young, when can you be? (That was a rhetorical question only).

Time does pass, and people grow up and some even mature. Sounds like it could have happened to you. You care honestly and truly now because you have grown up some. Reach out to your friend in the NOW and do what you can or feel like NOW. Let the future happen but your concern for her is wonderful and it shows that what you were then has changed.

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