Jump to content

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Guest Amberley_Vail

Help for a friend

Recommended Posts

Guest Amberley_Vail

I dont really know how to phrase this, but Ill try.

Theres a girl that Im fairly good friends with [id like to be more than friends, but more on that later] We used to date when we were both 16/17 but I was a little [EXPLETIVE DELETED]. I was a terrible person. I compensated for my insecurities by trying to 'pull' as many girls as I could. Me and her kissed a few times, and I never really considered it anything more than that.

Anyway, we fell out of contact somewhat when I went to university, but have been back in contact for a good year now. Fairly recently we started meeting up more, and she's opened up to me. SHe admits that she has self esteem issues and cuts at bad times.

At the weekend, I was at a house party, and she sent me a message asking me how my day was going, and when I returned the question she admitted she'd been crying and cutting.

Ive tried telling her that I can appreciate nothing I say can change her mind right away, but that if she feels low, Ill be there to talk to, to vent to whatever she needs.

Is there any way I should be going about trying to re-assure her that she doesnt need to do this? I feel really guilty because of how I messed with her head when we were teens.

Share this post


Link to post
Guest Amethyst_Redemption

1) show concern for her well being.

2) show you want to support her

3) address the reason she is cutting

4) find alternatives for SI

5) never judge her for cutting or say how bad cutting is, it will only make her feel worse

6) remind her how to have genuine fun

7) open up to her a bit.

8) address the guilt openly and remind her she is a good person and deserves to be happy.

Share this post


Link to post
VickySGV

If you can't be "young and stupid" when you are young, when can you be? (That was a rhetorical question only).

Time does pass, and people grow up and some even mature. Sounds like it could have happened to you. You care honestly and truly now because you have grown up some. Reach out to your friend in the NOW and do what you can or feel like NOW. Let the future happen but your concern for her is wonderful and it shows that what you were then has changed.

Share this post


Link to post

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • Who's Online   5 Members, 0 Anonymous, 8 Guests (See full list)

    • DenimAndLace
    • Hey, it's Alex!
    • MaryMary
    • Jani423
    • Sharon Aml
  • Topics With Zero Replies

  • Posts

    • Jani423
      Yes, this was an uplifting video.   Jani
    • Jani423
        This is something that is most disturbing to me that the GOP would contravene this "contract" we have had for over 200 years.  No good will come of this.     Jani
    • jae bear
      Hi Alex,  I only just got here myself, but the help and love here is amazing... squishy hug, Jae
    • VickySGV
      https://www.today.com/parents/transgender-kids-t123436   This is a wonderful mini series of The Today Show and shows parents dealing with their Trans kids in positive ways.  I several families of Trans children that I have met IRL and would love to meet the parents and children in these vignettes as well.
    • Jani423
      Hey Alex, welcome.  There are lots of good comments here.  Most important, be you.  You will be much happier.   Jani
    • jae bear
      Hi Timber Wolf and Charlize,  Thank you for your hugs, I needed on bad this morning, felt like I woke up under the floor- squishy hugs to you both, Jae   PS;   I honestly hope I can change my name to Jae Bunny some day, this road is so long I can't see where it ends...
    • Dev
      Funny you should mention that, @Shiratori.  We put Discord through its paces and found that it doesn't have a couple of key features we really need.
    • Rachel Gia
      Thank you Cynthia! The time in between will be spent saving money so I can have more then 2 days off work. The summer on Granville island for buskers should prove quite rewarding and my day job shows no signs of slowing down cash wise. i will just put my trust in the process and kee connecting on this forum and at the AA meetings I attend. i guess the big one will be when I am approved for cosmetic vulvaplasty and whether or not I will be able to go thru with that.  Regardless I have been moving along with the approval requirements of that and regardless it has been most liberating.  cheers Rachel
    • CyndiRae
      The road to surgery is a long and complicated matter, so personal.   I hope your outcome is pleasing Rachel.   Best   Cynthia -
    • CyndiRae
      I snickered this morning reading Kenna's comments   Go Vicky, such fun !   C -
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Michelle*cd
      Michelle*cd
      (62 years old)
  • Upcoming Events

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      64,825
    • Total Posts
      586,863
  • TransPulse Partners

×