ive relapsed and dont know what to do

[Guest rayne1995]

i dont know if this is the right place to put this since it says alcohol. but ive always had problems with opiates/oids, since i was 13 and broke my arm. ive never been physically addicted but i pretty sure ive always had the mind set of an addict. i got arrested and put on probationa few months ago and i was six months clean untill thursday when i had my wisdom teeth removed. the pain is gone but im still using and i want to stop but at the same time i know ill have to come down to reality and i dont want to do that. i have no idea what to do i need advice.

[JJ]

The truth is if you are already on probation and are using again you have a real problem. When you were arrested before did they not refer you to drug abuse help groups and agencies? You need to call them. Now.

I've worked with a lot of users of many substances over the years and have never seen a single instance where it helped anyone on any way but have seen many lives damaged and destroyed by it.

You may dodge reality for a little while using but the truth is that it will still be there and only get worse from being ignored. It certainly can't get better until it's faced and dealt with.

You'll find many here who have been users-our condition is so stressful and painful many have tried to escape it that way. They will all tell you that life can be good and those realities you so hate can go away but you have to make the changes to make that happen and you can't do that on drugs.

Throw those pills away. Contact a local group who can help and support you through this. We are here and chat is a great resource. When you feel like using log in and talk to someone. They are there and immediate and understand.

But please please get rid of those pills. Right now. They can cost you your future. Especially since you are already on probation and there fore probably being monitored for drug use? We don't often fare well in jail or in prison. It's just too big a risk.

Reality is hard right now. It hurts. You can change that and life can be good. Read the stories here and you'll see that it can all happen for you too.

But you have to be there for it. You won't be unless you get rid of those pills.That is just a sleppery slope a slippery slope

Johnny

[Guest rita63]

Rayne

I know what you are going through, I am 6 months sober and dealing with addiction and being trans.

Every time I see someone relapse I know there but for....go I.

If you can get to AA or NA (its all just you got a problem eh). Both have natiional web sites that can locate meetings near you.

Do not fear its just a bunch of drunks and drugies trying to help each other stay straight by talking about it.

I know you can do it. Don't stay home alone get out and get help.

hugs rita

hugs rita

[Michelle 2010]

Hey folks I moved this to drug and substance abuse due to the content.

Born in 1995 Rayne? I have a nephew in recovery a lttle older than you. There is a good life available to recovering abusers. Just gotta reach out and accept the help. Oh... and follow instructions...don't add to the recipe for success... It usually messes it up!. Park the will power and incredible mental assets at the door when you enter recovery and you have a good chance!

Maybe come visit us Sunday night 9 pm est. in the substance abuse chat room? If interested gotta go there in advance and preregister... Not a big hoop to jump through if interested.

Hugs

Michelle

[Guest rayne1995]

thanks. my family trys to help but the counsiler they got me is still trying to help me become a "strong man of God" i wish i could just tell them whats wrong. i dont think they could ever accept me as female.

[VickySGV]

Belief in a power higher and more capable of controling your life than you are, is essential to recovery from drug or alcohol abuse, but people who put a brand name on the Higher Power are not going to do the job anywhere close to right. A person who says their higher power is the only real laundry detergent on the market, are only fooling themselves and not helping you. You need a very PERSONAL relationship with YOUR HP in order to have any chance of change. In AA and NA the folks will show you how and why they have success by choosing a slightly different and highly personal path to recovery, and they will cheer you on your way, slips, falls and long straight happy runs with fresh air in your face, all in the program. They won't show you the only path is, just how to choose one, and how to climb a short set of stair steps up to reach your own.

[Guest Irielle]

Hi Rayne -

Drugs really are a dead end. I have been in chronic physical pain 24 hours a day for many many years and it's slowly getting worse. At times I the doctor has given me pain killers to help and it's very easy to start getting dependent on them. I know the pull they can have and fortunately I have been able to just stop taking them. But if I have them around I am more likely to take them. If they're not around then i don't think about them. It would be very easy to get hooked on them and I don't want that.

So throw them away once the true need for them is over. There are lots of support groups for you and they will help. I find that physical activity is the best thing for me, even though it's painful I feel so much better after exercise.

One other thing I discovered - the pain was making me chronically depressed and that made it more likely I would take the drugs so I would feel better. Now the doctor put me on antidepressants and it made a world of difference and I don't care much about taking drugs anymore because my depression has lifted. You might want to talk to your doctor about depression, expecially since I think we trans people are more prone to it than the general population.

I hope you can find another counselor, someone who won't shove his/her religion down your throat but will actively help you.

Don't ruin your life with drugs! Big hug from me!

Iri

[Guest rayne1995]

---------------update ------------------

It's been 7 days since I've done any drug and the desire is slowly going away. It's still there but it isn'toverwhelming anymore. I should have known better than to take it to start with.

[Guest rita63]

7 days Rayne good stuff congratulations.

Hope to talk to you on Sun at 9:00

hugs rita

[Guest PeterP]

thanks. my family trys to help but the counsiler they got me is still trying to help me become a "strong man of God" i wish i could just tell them whats wrong. i dont think they could ever accept me as female.

Rayne,

Honestly, if the counselor your family got for you is trying to change who you are to suit his/her needs then you aren't going to feel much better by continuing to go there. You are going to counseling to adjust to who you are; to get comfortable with yourself. Telling the truth will set you free. Be who you are. If this counselor doesn't agree, find another one. It's not the counselor's job to pass judgement on who you are, it's to open the door and let you out. Trying to convince our families of who we really are is the scariest part of this journey. We have had these people with us for all of our lives. It's terrifying to know it could all be gone in an instant. But we don't get to control the actions of others. The only thing we can control is how we respond to them. Be graceful and dignified regardless of what "could" happen. There are many "coulds" out there but only one "will". We are not privvy to the "will" part. So just keep putting one foot in front of the other and you will do fine.

Awesome job staying clean for 7 days. You are a miracle. Keep at it honey. I know you can do it. Just don't look too far into the future. Keep it in the day. Know that you are a strong woman of God.

As a direct result of sobering up from both drugs and alcohol, I was able to see my way clear to being the man I truly am. I did a lot of soul-searching and discovered the reason I drank and drugged was to keep that closet door closed. It feels good to have a little freedom from the closet I have lived in for so many years. I still have a very long way to go in my transition. I am at the beginning of my journey. I urge you to keep moving forward in coming out...to your therapist, your family and yourself.

Best of luck to you Rayne.

God Bless,

Peter

[Guest Kael147]

Hey Rayne,

Hope all is okay today! I just wanted you to know that you are in my thoughts. It's hard to put the coping tools away and just live, but there are plently of people who can help show you the way. Just for today!

Best,

Kael

[Guest KaelParker]

Addictions to opiates are among the worst in the world. The withdrawal is very painful and agonizing and relapse is very common.

Here's an analogy that will help you understand what happens when you relapse. Imagine that as soon as you started being clean, you began coiling up a rope that was stretching down into a very deep well, connected to a bucket. You will be pulling this up for a very long time, maybe even your whole life. But the longer you keep pulling, the easier it gets for you and the less effort you have to put in to pulling it up. This stands for getting clean and staying clean. It's more difficult at the beginning, but becomes easier over time and it becomes effortless given long enough. Relapse is like letting go of the rope and letting the bucket fall. It goes A LOT faster than pulling it back up and can erase so much of all the hard work you have put in.

However, it doesn't have to fall all the way back down. You can catch the rope before it goes all the way back to the beginning. Get rid of the pills you have or have a friend or family member put them in a safe place. This is such an important thing to do. Stop before it gets too difficult.

[Guest rayne1995]

I'm headed back to the nut house this week for unrelated reasons. It's been about a month since my mini relapse and now I'm addicted to prescription prozac( every doctor I talk to says it's not the right meds) it makes me think crazy and cut so I'm gonna go get off of it and try to get on hrt while I'm there. Wish me luck,

Sincerely, rayne

[Guest rita63]

rayne Sounds like your in good hands and have an idea of what you want to do. I hope you find what you need in hospital and take the time to work things through. Good luck with the hrt. I'll be thinking of you.

hugs rita

[Charlize]

Good luck Rayne, It sounds like you are getting help and understand you need help. That may be enough to get you started towards long term sobriety. There are many around to help so don't feel you are alone. it has been my experience that people accept me as I am in recovery groups. Best of luck and hope you will check out the 9:00 chat room on Sunday that Michelle mentioned. love, Charlie

[Guest clearleeraines]

Hi I am clear and I AM A ADDICT. I was 4 yrs on dilaudid and heroin that was four years ago. If your strung out you'll have to kick period! depends on how much an what an how long you have been using. GO TO A NA MEETING even if your loaded! and keep going. There is suboxon it will work call a dr and be honest. They will help you quit you don't want to wake up "if you do" @ 47 na junkie and lose most of your life to a drug that WILL make you it's pregnant dog. I am new here and don't have my own pc right now, but PM me anytime K my name is clear an i am here for YOU baby ok. I an YOU can't do this but WE can. clr ;}