Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

ive relapsed and dont know what to do


Guest rayne1995

Recommended Posts

Guest rayne1995

i dont know if this is the right place to put this since it says alcohol. but ive always had problems with opiates/oids, since i was 13 and broke my arm. ive never been physically addicted but i pretty sure ive always had the mind set of an addict. i got arrested and put on probationa few months ago and i was six months clean untill thursday when i had my wisdom teeth removed. the pain is gone but im still using and i want to stop but at the same time i know ill have to come down to reality and i dont want to do that. i have no idea what to do i need advice.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

The truth is if you are already on probation and are using again you have a real problem. When you were arrested before did they not refer you to drug abuse help groups and agencies? You need to call them. Now.

I've worked with a lot of users of many substances over the years and have never seen a single instance where it helped anyone on any way but have seen many lives damaged and destroyed by it.

You may dodge reality for a little while using but the truth is that it will still be there and only get worse from being ignored. It certainly can't get better until it's faced and dealt with.

You'll find many here who have been users-our condition is so stressful and painful many have tried to escape it that way. They will all tell you that life can be good and those realities you so hate can go away but you have to make the changes to make that happen and you can't do that on drugs.

Throw those pills away. Contact a local group who can help and support you through this. We are here and chat is a great resource. When you feel like using log in and talk to someone. They are there and immediate and understand.

But please please get rid of those pills. Right now. They can cost you your future. Especially since you are already on probation and there fore probably being monitored for drug use? We don't often fare well in jail or in prison. It's just too big a risk.

Reality is hard right now. It hurts. You can change that and life can be good. Read the stories here and you'll see that it can all happen for you too.

But you have to be there for it. You won't be unless you get rid of those pills.That is just a sleppery slope a slippery slope

Johnny

Link to comment

Rayne

I know what you are going through, I am 6 months sober and dealing with addiction and being trans.

Every time I see someone relapse I know there but for....go I.

If you can get to AA or NA (its all just you got a problem eh). Both have natiional web sites that can locate meetings near you.

Do not fear its just a bunch of drunks and drugies trying to help each other stay straight by talking about it.

I know you can do it. Don't stay home alone get out and get help.

hugs rita

hugs rita

Link to comment

Hey folks I moved this to drug and substance abuse due to the content.

Born in 1995 Rayne? I have a nephew in recovery a lttle older than you. There is a good life available to recovering abusers. Just gotta reach out and accept the help. Oh... and follow instructions...don't add to the recipe for success... It usually messes it up!. Park the will power and incredible mental assets at the door when you enter recovery and you have a good chance!

Maybe come visit us Sunday night 9 pm est. in the substance abuse chat room? If interested gotta go there in advance and preregister... Not a big hoop to jump through if interested.

Hugs

Michelle

Link to comment
Guest rayne1995

thanks. my family trys to help but the counsiler they got me is still trying to help me become a "strong man of God" i wish i could just tell them whats wrong. i dont think they could ever accept me as female.

Link to comment
  • Admin

Belief in a power higher and more capable of controling your life than you are, is essential to recovery from drug or alcohol abuse, but people who put a brand name on the Higher Power are not going to do the job anywhere close to right. A person who says their higher power is the only real laundry detergent on the market, are only fooling themselves and not helping you. You need a very PERSONAL relationship with YOUR HP in order to have any chance of change. In AA and NA the folks will show you how and why they have success by choosing a slightly different and highly personal path to recovery, and they will cheer you on your way, slips, falls and long straight happy runs with fresh air in your face, all in the program. They won't show you the only path is, just how to choose one, and how to climb a short set of stair steps up to reach your own.

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...
Guest Irielle

Hi Rayne -

Drugs really are a dead end. I have been in chronic physical pain 24 hours a day for many many years and it's slowly getting worse. At times I the doctor has given me pain killers to help and it's very easy to start getting dependent on them. I know the pull they can have and fortunately I have been able to just stop taking them. But if I have them around I am more likely to take them. If they're not around then i don't think about them. It would be very easy to get hooked on them and I don't want that.

So throw them away once the true need for them is over. There are lots of support groups for you and they will help. I find that physical activity is the best thing for me, even though it's painful I feel so much better after exercise.

One other thing I discovered - the pain was making me chronically depressed and that made it more likely I would take the drugs so I would feel better. Now the doctor put me on antidepressants and it made a world of difference and I don't care much about taking drugs anymore because my depression has lifted. You might want to talk to your doctor about depression, expecially since I think we trans people are more prone to it than the general population.

I hope you can find another counselor, someone who won't shove his/her religion down your throat but will actively help you.

Don't ruin your life with drugs! Big hug from me!

Iri

Link to comment
Guest rayne1995

---------------update ------------------

It's been 7 days since I've done any drug and the desire is slowly going away. It's still there but it isn'toverwhelming anymore. I should have known better than to take it to start with.

Link to comment

thanks. my family trys to help but the counsiler they got me is still trying to help me become a "strong man of God" i wish i could just tell them whats wrong. i dont think they could ever accept me as female.

Rayne,

Honestly, if the counselor your family got for you is trying to change who you are to suit his/her needs then you aren't going to feel much better by continuing to go there. You are going to counseling to adjust to who you are; to get comfortable with yourself. Telling the truth will set you free. Be who you are. If this counselor doesn't agree, find another one. It's not the counselor's job to pass judgement on who you are, it's to open the door and let you out. Trying to convince our families of who we really are is the scariest part of this journey. We have had these people with us for all of our lives. It's terrifying to know it could all be gone in an instant. But we don't get to control the actions of others. The only thing we can control is how we respond to them. Be graceful and dignified regardless of what "could" happen. There are many "coulds" out there but only one "will". We are not privvy to the "will" part. So just keep putting one foot in front of the other and you will do fine.

Awesome job staying clean for 7 days. You are a miracle. Keep at it honey. I know you can do it. Just don't look too far into the future. Keep it in the day. Know that you are a strong woman of God.

As a direct result of sobering up from both drugs and alcohol, I was able to see my way clear to being the man I truly am. I did a lot of soul-searching and discovered the reason I drank and drugged was to keep that closet door closed. It feels good to have a little freedom from the closet I have lived in for so many years. I still have a very long way to go in my transition. I am at the beginning of my journey. I urge you to keep moving forward in coming out...to your therapist, your family and yourself.

Best of luck to you Rayne.

God Bless,

Peter

Link to comment
Guest Kael147

Hey Rayne,

Hope all is okay today! I just wanted you to know that you are in my thoughts. It's hard to put the coping tools away and just live, but there are plently of people who can help show you the way. Just for today!

Best,

Kael

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...
Guest KaelParker

Addictions to opiates are among the worst in the world. The withdrawal is very painful and agonizing and relapse is very common.

Here's an analogy that will help you understand what happens when you relapse. Imagine that as soon as you started being clean, you began coiling up a rope that was stretching down into a very deep well, connected to a bucket. You will be pulling this up for a very long time, maybe even your whole life. But the longer you keep pulling, the easier it gets for you and the less effort you have to put in to pulling it up. This stands for getting clean and staying clean. It's more difficult at the beginning, but becomes easier over time and it becomes effortless given long enough. Relapse is like letting go of the rope and letting the bucket fall. It goes A LOT faster than pulling it back up and can erase so much of all the hard work you have put in.

However, it doesn't have to fall all the way back down. You can catch the rope before it goes all the way back to the beginning. Get rid of the pills you have or have a friend or family member put them in a safe place. This is such an important thing to do. Stop before it gets too difficult.

Link to comment
  • 3 weeks later...
Guest rayne1995

I'm headed back to the nut house this week for unrelated reasons. It's been about a month since my mini relapse and now I'm addicted to prescription prozac( every doctor I talk to says it's not the right meds) it makes me think crazy and cut so I'm gonna go get off of it and try to get on hrt while I'm there. Wish me luck,

Sincerely, rayne

Link to comment
Guest rita63

rayne Sounds like your in good hands and have an idea of what you want to do. I hope you find what you need in hospital and take the time to work things through. Good luck with the hrt. I'll be thinking of you.

hugs rita

Link to comment
  • 4 weeks later...
  • Forum Moderator

Good luck Rayne, It sounds like you are getting help and understand you need help. That may be enough to get you started towards long term sobriety. There are many around to help so don't feel you are alone. it has been my experience that people accept me as I am in recovery groups. Best of luck and hope you will check out the 9:00 chat room on Sunday that Michelle mentioned. love, Charlie

Link to comment
  • 1 month later...
Guest clearleeraines

Hi I am clear and I AM A ADDICT. I was 4 yrs on dilaudid and heroin that was four years ago. If your strung out you'll have to kick period! depends on how much an what an how long you have been using. GO TO A NA MEETING even if your loaded! and keep going. There is suboxon it will work call a dr and be honest. They will help you quit you don't want to wake up "if you do" @ 47 na junkie and lose most of your life to a drug that WILL make you it's pregnant dog. I am new here and don't have my own pc right now, but PM me anytime K my name is clear an i am here for YOU baby ok. I an YOU can't do this but WE can. clr ;}

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   5 Members, 0 Anonymous, 119 Guests (See full list)

    • Carolyn Marie
    • Mmindy
    • EasyE
    • Lorelei
    • KathyLauren
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.5k
    • Total Posts
      767.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      11,945
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Melissa_J
    Newest Member
    Melissa_J
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Amyjay
      Amyjay
      (58 years old)
    2. bettyjean
      bettyjean
    3. Breanna
      Breanna
      (52 years old)
    4. Emily Ayla
      Emily Ayla
    5. JET182
      JET182
  • Posts

    • Mmindy
      My mother's maiden name is Schwinegruber, and to say that cabbage in all forms of use for our dinner table is an understatement.   Hugs,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Davie
    • EasyE
      So, I jumped on the "E" train last week and am about 10 days into my HRT journey. I have the tiniest patch available. I laughed when I opened it. "This little thing is supposed to give me more feminine characteristics?"   I haven't really felt much of anything so far, not that I expected to at this point. I am really, really tired but that may be other factors (like staying up too late to watch NCAA basketball every night). The one noticeable difference is that my libido seems to be a lot more subdued. Not that I am proud of this, but the big M was a practically a daily part of life for me. My daily comfort and way to get an endorphin hit or just deal with loneliness. The past week, though, has been, "meh." Is that the HRT tamping things down? Or just a normal down cycle for me? Not sure yet. Time will tell.   I have been very quiet about things overall. Only a few people know. No one in my immediate family. I fear the backlash I will get when they find out. Worst- case scenario, my daughters stop talking to me. That would kill me. I hope I can show them over time, "See, I am still me."   Met with my endo on Wednesday. He is good for me to up the dose when I feel comfortable. For now, I think I am going to stand pat and take things nice and slow. Of course, I could see myself tomorrow asking him to send in the script for the higher dose...   I keep asking myself, what is the end game with all of this. Unlike many on here, I don't have a concrete answer yet. I am not convinced I will "go all the way" and change my name and ID, etc. Part of me would love to soldier on just as I am but with a lot more feminine physical characteristics and a more distinctly feminine wardrobe. What does that make me? Non-binary? Not sure.  Again, I am just me, as unorthodox as that is...   All I know is that this is something I want to do. I am comfortable walking this path for now. Again, we'll see. As always, would appreciate any feedback the more experienced folks may have. Blessings to all!    EasyE
    • Ivy
      I grew up with it, my mother's side were Germans.  I still like cabbage.  I make a sweet/sour dish with vinegar and brown sugar, add some bacon if you have it.  And in warmer weather, slaw.  I like that better if it's a few days old, and has worked off a little.
    • Ivy
      Pity that we can't just respect each other and get along.
    • Willow
      Good Friday Morning    I will be spending a good portion of my day at church today.  I don’t know how any of my family would have been with me.  They all passed before I figured myself out.  I often think my mother and sister may have figured it out before I did but maybe it was just my depression that they saw.  I don’t know and never will.  My grandfather Young unconditionally loved me but he passed when I was 9.   Same with my wife’s parents, both gone before.  We’ve never had the greatest relationship with my wife’s brother but we do see them occasionally.  They words and actions aren’t always in sink when it comes to me.   Sour kraut or boil cabbage were never big even with my parents so that was something we were never expected to eat.  Nor was anything with mustard.  My mother hated mustard and it turns my stomach. My wife tried to sneak it into things early in our marriage but I could always tell.  She stopped after a while.   well I wave to go get ready to go to church.  I have a committee meeting at 10 and then we have a Good Friday Service at noon.   Willow
    • Mmindy
      Good morning everyone,   @KymmieLI hope you're misreading your bosses communications. As you say keep plugging a long. Don't give them signs that you're slow quitting, just to collect unemployment.   I have a few things to do business wise, and will be driving to the St. Louis, MO area for two family gatherings.   Have a great day,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • KymmieL
      Good morning everyone, TGIFF   It seems like I am the one keeping or shop from being the best. According to the boss. I don't know if my days are numbered or not. But anymore I am waiting for the axe to fall. Time will tell.   I keep plugging a long.   Kymmie
    • KymmieL
      In the warmer weather, Mine is hitting the road on the bike. Just me, the bike, and the road. Other is it music or working on one of my many projects.   Kymmie
    • LC
      That is wonderful. Congratulations!
    • Heather Shay
      What is relaxation to you? Nature? Movie? Reading? Cuddling with a pet? Music?
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
      Having just a normal emotional day.
    • Heather Shay
      AMUSEMENT The feeling when you encounter something silly, ironic, witty, or absurd, which makes you laugh. You have the urge to be playful and share the joke with others. Similar words: Mirth Amusement is the emotional reaction to humor. This can be something that is intended to be humorous, like when someone tells a good joke or when a friend dresses up in a ridiculous costume. But it can also be something that you find funny that was not intended to be humorous, like when you read a sign with a spelling error that turns it into an ironic pun. For millennia, philosophers and scholars have been attempting to explain what exactly it is that makes something funny. This has led to several different theories. Nowadays, the most widely accepted one is the Incongruity Theory, which states that something is amusing if it violates our standards of how things are supposed to be. For example, Charlie Chaplin-style slapstick is funny because it violates our norms of competence and proper conduct, while Monty Python-style absurdity is funny because it violates reason and logic. However, not every standard or norm violation is necessarily funny. Violations can also evoke confusion, indignation, or shock. An important condition for amusement is that there is a certain psychological distance to the violation. One of the ways to achieve this is captured by the statement ‘comedy is tragedy plus time’. A dreadful mistake today may become a funny story a year from now. But it can also be distant in other ways, for instance, because it happened to someone you do not know, or because it happens in fiction instead of in real life. Amusement also needs a safe and relaxed environment: people who are relaxed and among friends are much more likely to feel amused by something. A violation and sufficient psychological distance are the basic ingredients for amusement, but what any one person find funny will depend on their taste and sense of humor. There are dozens of ‘humor genres’, such as observational comedy, deadpan, toilet humor, and black comedy. Amusement is contagious: in groups, people are more prone to be amused and express their amusement more overtly. People are more likely to share amusement when they are with friends or like-minded people. For these reasons, amusement is often considered a social emotion. It encourages people to engage in social interactions and it promotes social bonding. Many people consider amusement to be good for the body and the soul. By the end of the 20th century, humor and laughter were considered important for mental and physical health, even by psychoneuroimmunology researchers who suggested that emotions influenced immunity. This precipitated the ‘humor and health movement’ among health care providers who believed that humor and laughter help speed recovery, including in patients suffering from cancer1). However, the evidence for health benefits of humor and laughter is less conclusive than commonly believed2. Amusement is a frequent target of regulation: we down-regulate it by shifting our attention to avoid inappropriate laughter, or up-regulate it by focusing on a humorous aspect of a negative situation. Interestingly, amusement that is purposefully up-regulated has been found to have the same beneficial physical and psychological effects as the naturally experienced emotion. Amusement has a few clear expressions that emerge depending on the intensity of the emotion. When people are mildly amused, they tend to smile or chuckle. When amusement intensifies, people laugh out loud and tilt or bob their head. The most extreme bouts of amusement may be accompanied by uncontrollable laughter, tears, and rolling on the floor. Most cultures welcome and endorse amusement. Many people even consider a ‘good sense of humor’ as one of the most desirable characteristics in a partner. At the same time, most cultures have (implicit) rules about what is the right time and place for amusement. For example, displays of amusement may be deemed inappropriate in situations that demand seriousness or solemness, such as at work or during religious rituals.
    • Heather Shay
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...