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Guest ghostwolf1995

Oh wow I've been here...

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Oh wow...Have I ever been here. And now, I'm entering this arena again!! >=/ Stuff is soo hard right now...Every day feels like a new war with the world. I'm sooo close to recommiting to self harm. Some times it's all I can do to NOT grab a razor and start up... Can someone please just let me know I'm not alone?!? Stupid request, I know -look at all these posts!- and yet some times it just feels so hard.

I KNOW I have a good home. I KNOW my friends care about me, and I think my parents do too. I KNOW my girlfriend loves me...I know I can do good in the world, if I can just get through this!

But..how? >.<

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You are far from being alone. I've been here lately... I don't think I've ever admitted it here but when things get really bad it does get really hard. To be honest the main thing stopping me is not wanting scars, I've got more than enough.

All I can do when I struggle with this is try and get out of my thoughts. I try to sleep and if that doesn't work anything that will grab and hold my attention. A favroite movie, a video game with friends, something, anything. If I give in to it again I know it will go too far.

It's hard, it's very hard to admit but hang on and don't give in to it. It will get better in time, sometimes it takes a lot of time and others not as much. You are always welcome here to vent and share if you feel it will help. Usually it is possible to find strength here.

Good luck with your fight. Don't give in, keep on swinging!

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Really? Thanks a bunch...I never considered just simply trying to put it out of my mind. I havn't told anyone this lately... People don't really want to hear about it, and if they do I don't want to scare them or get them upset...Oh geez. I just realized it'd probably be easier if I DID tell people.../sigh. Dumb moment....

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You're not alone my dear ! ;-)

One day at a time... believing everything will get settle... But that life is a struggle for anyone, whoever we are... We're all in the same boat...

You have aspirations for the best, and that the essential part. believe it ! And do not doubt.

Love,

Jenny

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I just yelled at for SI today... my life is just getting better (though busy) and I am still cutting. I know that cutting is about finding release from tension. Being reminded about all that stuff is kind of patronizing too. I know I just want to say "yah, well it still -------- hurts." There are some grounding techniques you may not have tried, but also don't beat yourself up if you do cut.

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Ghostwolf you are not alone. I didn't follow through on my urges to injure myself for a long time until a week ago when I did start cutting but realized right away what I was doing and stopped. I wish I knew what it was all about but it's so confusing. I guess it's about my body image. I found that exercise is the best thing for me because I always feel so much better when I exercise because of the endorphins. Also, my doctor increased my antidepressants and I can feel the difference from that.

I hope you know everyone here is pulling for you! And if you do relapse and SI remember that there is NOTHING wrong with you. Maybe as we gain in our own self-acceptance the urges lessen? I don't know. I do know that when I am around my close family and friends and people that love me I feel better about myself. I guess I don't have any answers - I just want the best life and happiness for you and everyone here. Here's a big hug from me!

Iri

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Thanks..this is kinda odd O.o Its almost overly accepting...=) Yesterday it got so bad Sara.W had to restrain me on her bed (she choked me it wasnt fun -rolls eyes-)...Its like every day gets a little harder and harder till I just wanna scream...>.<

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Again sorry about the choking that was an accident.... dang you're hard to hold down though... But I'm glad it worked. :)

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