Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

I sent the letter...


Guest Yossarian

Recommended Posts

Guest Yossarian

I finally gathered the courage to send my father my coming out e mail. I must admit, I'm scared a hell. I'm in full panic mode inside. I'm like mind f-ed right now.

I think I'm going to be sick.

Link to comment

WOW!!!

Big step...

Congratulations on letting the truth fly!

Hang on, it will get more tense before getting better, BUT it will get better now...

Breathe deep, lol..

Svenna

Link to comment
Guest Krisina

There are some things we have control over in life. How others will react we don't have control over that. Sometimes preparing for the worst but hoping for the best is a way to look at it. Remember, you are good person, you deserve love a respect. You may be different than others but we are all different. If others react negatively it is they who have a problem with diversity. Hold your head up high.

I'm curious to know how things go after your dad reads the coming out letter.

Krisina

Link to comment
Guest Gregg Jameson

Hi Yossarian,

This is a difficult step to take. We all tend to fear rejection and understandably so.

You are trying to communicate with your dad, trying to have an honest relationship with him. I hope he can see this and honor your desire to want to interact honestly with him. Chrisina has offered some interesting insight posted above.

We often wonder how parents/family/loved ones will react. We care. At the same time, I think we can hold all adults as capable of handling whatever comes up within their lives. Sometimes we all take turns posing challenges to one anothers' understandings and to one anothers' growth! Hopefully, your dad will choose a supportive, interested response. His reponse is a reflection of himself.

Nonetheless, this is a very important relationship for you and it is important to you he lend understanding and support to you.

Move forward expecting nothing less than the love and support you deserve.

It is important to keep our expectations high and not settle for less. We may, at times, need to deal with receiving less from some people, sometimes; yet, setting our expectations high demonstrates our own belief in our self-worth. In doing so, we are asking them to "step up" and to meet us wherever we are. Woudn't we do the same for them?

Please let us know how you are doing?

Brad

Link to comment

Hey there,

Have everything crossed for you! Hope it goes well!

Waiting for replies to a coming out letter is not the most peaceful thing in the world but I hope what you hear back will bring you relief!

We're here!! :)

All the best,

Talon.

Link to comment
Guest Yossarian

I'll be sure to fill everyone in. Thanks for the words of reassurance. I really appreciate them. I still feel sick incredibly, but already there has been a weight lifted off. I'm sure he hasn't gotten the E-mail yet. He most likely won't take the time to check his inbox until he goes to work tonight. So... I'll be awaiting a response tomorrow or so.

I feel like such a coward, I just want to pull a Simba and run... but eh, Simba did return and face his problems.

If only real life turned out like Disney films.

Link to comment

He he pull a Simba :) That's added to my list of cool sayings! But hey, evil uncles are there to be dealt with and in the end, Scar was a wuss :) Hope everything turns out fine! Still have everything crossed.

Talon.

Link to comment
Guest Lonewolf13

Well done and good luck, mate! I hope this is a turning point for you and everything goes well. It is a really scary time, waiting for somebody to reply.

Let us know how it goes.

Link to comment
Guest Yossarian

So I ended up having to send him a text asking him to check his inbox... This wasn't suppose to be this hard.

He sent me a very posistive response, he was more upset that I felt like I had to e mail him, but I wanted to avoid it coming out in a jumbled mass of blah. We're going to talk tomorrow. So we'll see how it goes.

Link to comment

YAYYYYYY!!!!

This is PROGRESS!!!!

Good luck with your follow through talks!

Things can get tense during these conversations, remember to breathe and stay focused. The tension will eventually pass and calm will follow the storm..

You'll do great!

Love, Svenna

Link to comment
Guest Yossarian

So we had a little talk that went along the lines of "The only thing I've ever wanted is for you to be happy. I don't want you to live a miserable life." We spoke vaguely about my name and what my mother considered a viable choice.

I'm so stoked. He really wasn't happy about the email :( , I do feel a bit guilty about that, but what's a lad to do? We've agreed to never go that route about anything again.

:D Yossarian is happier.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   6 Members, 0 Anonymous, 125 Guests (See full list)

    • Abigail Genevieve
    • Betty K
    • MaryEllen
    • AllieJ
    • April Marie
    • Thea
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.6k
    • Total Posts
      767.9k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,013
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Quillian
    Newest Member
    Quillian
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. 777fleetleader777
      777fleetleader777
      (21 years old)
    2. ArinHallm3
      ArinHallm3
      (18 years old)
    3. ITakMyTime
      ITakMyTime
      (70 years old)
    4. Jess31
      Jess31
      (40 years old)
    5. Natalie71645
      Natalie71645
      (39 years old)
  • Posts

    • KymmieL
      Well it is a no go for the new position. OH, well. nothing ventured nothing gained.   Kymmie
    • Davie
      Dickey Betts, the singer, songwriter, and guitarist of the Allman Brothers Band whose piercing solos, beloved songs and hell-raising spirit defined the band and Southern rock in general, died Thursday morning 04/18/2024 at the age of 80. Rest in peace...
    • MaeBe
      Thank you @Mirrabooka!
    • April Marie
      What an amazing life you've shared with your wife. I can understand the trepidation you had at telling her at that point in your relationship but it certainly saved all of the guilt, the questioning and the secrecy that would have filled your lives had you not.   I'm on the other end of the spectrum having denied and buried my truth for decades and fast approaching 50 years of marriage when the dysphoria and depression finally came to critical mass and I unloaded it all on a New Year's Day morning. As you might imagine, it led to a lot of questions, of questioning everything, of anger and hurt on my wife's part. Guilt, embarrassment, fear...and anything else you can imagine on my part.   Thankfully, our love for each other has always been the foundation of our relationship and, ultimately, we both agreed that staying together was what we both wanted. It was a tough year but, now into the 2d since my coming out, we've hit our stride and are exploring this new norm in our life.   I do so love your blog.
    • Adrianna Danielle
      Will be at my place
    • Vidanjali
      Congratulations on your new family member!
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I thought I would try my version of this. Changes in bold.   I am Transgender.  Sometimes it is remote, sometimes close. Sometimes I am euphoric, sometimes depressed. It is something I cannot get away from and cannot welcome enough. I see some things both ways that neither men as men see or women as women see.  I can be gentle and compassionate and hard as nails. I was born with male genitals but a female heart   I have my heart.  Whatever it is. When I look at a female, I wish I looked like her  Depends on the woman.  When I look at a male, I wish I did not look like him   Ditto. I envy female movements, softness, behaviors, appearances, fashion...EVERYTHING Female Depends. Sometimes I get angry at them because women spend time and energy in ways men don't.  It is not necessarily bad.  I could do without the gossip. Not all women gossip.  Excessive focus on fashion is something I find annoying. And expensive. I tolerate all things male out of social obligation...not because I feel like a man or because it makes me happy....but because that's what I was forced to believe was my only choice....beginning in early childhood. Sometimes it is helpful to put on the Iron Man suit and act accordingly.  But I have seen some tough women. When I look at myself in the mirror in only bra and panties...I can see my nude female body...and it makes me smile and feel amazing and warm inside....yet sad because that is not my reality. I could go either way, mostly. Really.  In tests in the last two years technicians have gone really quiet when they see how little body and leg hair I have.  I looked at myself this morning.  Remove a few clues and a girl is standing there. When I look at myself in the mirror in only boxers...I can see my nude male body and it saddens me deeply and makes me feel sick and depressed...and at times...even ashamed....Because this IS my reality. At this point I am not going to do that. In the mood I am in I might break the mirror. My true gender does not influence my sexual interests or preferences...or change who I am....in any form or fashion. Gender identity is in no way connected to anything sexually related on any level.  Not sure I want to make that statement so categorically. Life as a male leaves me with a feeling that something is off...that something is missing...that something is not as it should have been.   Well put. The idea of having to continue living as a male...as someone I am not...for the rest of my life...even if its only part time...causes great sadness and anxiety within myself. I've got priorities beyond this that this must fit into. The idea of living as the girl I am and always have been on a full time basis...regardless of where I am, what I am doing or who I am around...brings me great joy, happiness and a sense of peace within myself.  Would be neat. Looking like and living as a girl makes me smile.   Would be neat.  There are downsides.  Looking like and living as a guy makes me sad.   I have had lots of practice accepting this. I am Transgender....I am a girl
    • Ashley0616
    • Ashley0616
      Good listener, respect them, and show sympathy/empathy, even just being there
    • Ashley0616
      Getting dog today he's potty trained
    • Sally Stone
      Think positively, Ashley.  I have no doubt you'll find your king or queen at some point.   Hugs,   Sally
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Bob had the night off from teaching kara-tay and they planned to spend a lot of it at Cabaret.   Once in, Taylor waited for her man to park and looked around.  There was a sign "Mary, Paul and Peter LIVE tonight" and, sure enough, three microphones were standing in the open area.  A new hostess came up to her. "Are you alone?" "Oh, no.  He's coming." Taylor was led to a table. Bob was there in a minute and managed to get in there and seat her.  She smiled. "The act will be along in a few minutes. And Congratulations! I am SO EXCITED!!" Taylor responded to his look. "I got promoted." "To what?" "Head of Marketing." "You're kidding." "Nope.  It seems the Board finally woke up to the fact that the China cash cow may come to an end and they need to do something. Did you know that the VPs on up all get over a million dollars in compensation without really doing anything?" "No." "I am supposed to figure out how to re-energize over thirty acres of factory that have laid idle for forty years or more." "Why don't they do it?" She whispered,"the head of production is the son of the previous head of production. He has never produced anything."  She explained that everything was made in China and exported back to the US and sold under different brand names. "How am I going to find someone?" He smiled. "Congratulations. Sounds like a problem.  Hey, today we were talking about problems at our Philly plant.  One, it was built before World War 2. Second the city and state are tightening regulations and the tax structure is adverse.  Third, we get protestors every day, some of whom break into the factory.  People are talking about relocating." "We are forty miles from an interstate." "That is a plus.  Makes it harder for protestors to find us if we moved here." "You are really thinking that?" "I am, right now. I can't speak for the company.  I know there is a rail line." "Spur, actually, with several sidings.  The buildings are in good shape." "Do you have about five acres we could look at? How about if I take some pictures and send them off?" "Great.  And protestors would not be tolerated in Millville.  The factory area once upon a time was the main employer and people are very protective." Two weeks later she was in Philadelphia with Gibson and a few others.  The deal was signed and by end of summer ten acres, with an option on another ten, were being upgraded and equipment was coming in by rail. Not five, but ten.  She got a $20,000 bonus out of the blue.  The company was flush with Chinese cash that they didn't know what to do with. She was developing plans. But back to dinner.  "Did I tell you what they are paying me?" "No." She told him. "That is more than I am making." "You don't sound happy." "It takes some getting used to.  You are Management and Croesus combined." "Yeah. Is this a problem?" "No.  As I said, it takes some getting used to."  The musicians arrived and were introduced: three local teenagers in Peter Paul and Mary clothing and wigs like it was the 60s.  They began singing. "They are good," she said. "They are lip-synching." "They are good at lip-synching." They listened for a while. "Work is going to be intense for a while." "I'll bet." "I won't be able to talk to you about some of it." "I bet." They had a good evening.   The high point for Bob was that she let him put his hand on hers.  The high point for her was Bob did not seem threatened by her now being Management and making more than he did with a Masters. She didn't tell him she was likely to be in on the distribution of money the Chinese sent every year to keep them fat and happy.  But she had to finish up that report, so the evening ended early.  He drove her home, checked her apartment for people and again walked away hearing her lock the door three times.  She didn't say it, but he knew she was going to have a long talk with her therapist as well.   Her therapist was a night owl.  
    • Ashley0616
      envy: painful or resentful awareness of an advantage enjoyed by another joined with a desire to possess the same advantage obsolete : MALICE : an object of envious notice or feeling
    • MaeBe
      I sit back and think, am I this person? I definitely argue, but with the willingness to alter my opinion if I find that my information is lacking. So, no? I also don't go pointing fingers in faces like a crazed person, usually I am the one to argue with that kind of person; typically because they can't see past emotion and have little concern for actual facts. Sometimes it's sport that I do this (ENTP, baby!), but usually it comes from a place of trying to inform and shift opinion--or at least get them to actually obtain facts or get their facts from objective sources.
    • Ashley0616
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...