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Guest Alder

Warranty Voided

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Guest Alder

Today I was joking in the kitchen with my girlfriend and my mama. I didn't fully put the lid on my girlies coffee and she ended up spilling on her leg, She jokingly claims she's going to sue me. I retort "take it up with the parent company!" laughing as my girlfriend turns to my mama and offers her complaint to the 'parent company' that her son caused her harm and she wants compensation.

My mother responded in more words than this, but basically "I didn't approve any alterations, the original product I produced was female." and it equating to my warranty being voided....

oh my --Censored-- god it felt like a knife to the chest, and I just had to stand there continuing to laugh and joke like it didn't bother me..

Thank you mama, for your 'light hearted joke'...

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Guest Micha

love.

Tha's -censored- terrible. I feel for you, yeah. Props for puttin on a face, but no one should have to. You are the original, naught bout tha's anything but what you've been. Know that, the way you feel comes from the truth of who you are, an' no one can tell you what that is, not even your mum.

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Guest Juniper Blue

OUCH ..... :dunno:

Sometimes attempts at humor can really go wrong. I'm sorry that your Mom said that to you. If it happens routinely, do you feel like you can communicate her directly regarding this? Or perhaps, clarify this incident on its own standing?

She probably meant no harm thinking that it was obvious that she was joking ... but I would have been crushed if this was said to me. It may be worth communicating with her directly about this.

If it is any consolation ... I think that you are amazing. :friends:

Hugs to you Alder,

JB

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JJ

So many times people just don't realize how their words impact us. We tend to come across as strong about it I think because we have to in a way. And others-often even those who live with us-are not as sensitive to gender related things as we are. To her it was just something funny to say I'm sure, while to you it was so painful.

When it happens with my daughter I usually wait a little so I am calmer and explain that the words caused me to feel badly or hurt. I am careful not to say the equivalent of "You did this to me" but label it as my problem that I need help with. That way they don't get defensive or feel accused of something and are much more likely to try to change and help.

I am sorry this happened. Talk it out with her and I'm sure you'll feel better. The upside is that she is comfortable enough to joke about it and many are not. That is actually a very positive sign of acceptance though the joke ended up being painful for you

Johnny

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Guest Luna Selene

I'm so sorry to hear that Alder,

My mom can be just as insensitive, however most of the time unknowingly. :/ I think it's just part of their power, being able to push your buttons.

It's a little too late now but you can always flip something hurtful into something lighter with a properly timed come-back (especially if they ARE just joking around.)

A friendly banter can save you sometimes.

"Well the warranty was voided when the product was built incorrectly" (be careful of tone)

"But I thought I renewed my warranty when I [did something nice/helpful] for you." (Reminds them that you are still your helpful self)

"You may not have approved any alterations, but I didn't approve the first draft either. So let's resolve to redesign together. (Awww...)

Again...I can't really say that this would be the best approach. I know that crushed feeling when you become a punch line. The trick to escaped that, is to follow it up so you aren't the last joke.

Hope you feel better

_l

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