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Guest Caelen

1yr of living as myself, (without hormones)

6 posts in this topic

Hey everyone

So as i looked up at the clock this morning realizing the date and what not i realized that I have been living as my true self for a year now. It does feel great that i have been doing what i needed to do and I am looking forward to this year because I know i have been making strides and this year is going to be the beginning of physical transformations.

However there has been a lot of bumps in my path ( which path does eh?), I have lot supposed friends, gained trust in my family and loved ones, and have grown as an individual. My path is ever changing each day but it is moving towards one main goal.

I have changing my living conditions, my schooling, my career ideas, my hair etc...The changes that I have gone through seem small at the moment, but when i look back and what i have accomplished and what i have gained, i would say that I have done well and I am happy at the current direction I am going in.

In my future, i do plan on having more physical changes since, doctors appointments are closer so more convent, my environment is less destructive and more constructive, I have been able to work through some things i couldn't face before, my anger towards past events has decreased and I have come to accept myself for all that i was and am.

Of course there are sometime daily queries or challenges that i do face, since living in a small town does that, but i have kept an open mind, and remember that i need to do what I need to do, not what others need, and the hardest lesson i still am learning is that I cannot change others opinions and that I need to accept whatever they believe is right for them, for I am doing what is right for me weather or not they agree with it or not.

Besides all that this last year has entailed; 1 new tattoo, 1 new piercing, 3 different hair colours, 2 sprained limbs, 1 mental break down, 2 moves, 2yrs common law with gf, 1 loss of a family member, And finally 1 better more functional me.

That all i gots

Cheers

Eric

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Congratz on the first year Eric!

I recently passed my first year too with some big changes as well but no moves. No family members lost. A best friend of 37 years was my only loss that way-and a couple of other things-not directly trans related and yet they are. But like you I am better and much more functional. I am on hormones however-for 11 months now.

Like you I live in a small town and had to learn not to let myself question what they were thinking all the time. This is considered by many to be one of the most conservative areas of the country and so far I have neither been rejected or harassed though I am full time and very clearly male now. Neither has my family. That was a surprise and made me look closer at my beliefs about the inevitability of rejection by certain people. You just can't predict it.

It sounds like you have things in hand and are making great progress. I really believe the first year living as yourself is the hardest and most stressful.

May the coming year bring you even more fulfillment and triumphs

Johnny

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I like to say well done, things will continue to change and you will find you will start to look more masculine as time goes on without T. I am 5 years living as myself with no T and I pass 100% it's about attitude. Should start T this week -edit- ! Good luck on your journey

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Hey,

This is a significant landmark. A year doing anything is huge! Well done.

It sounds like life has had some difficulties, but that you are getting through them. You sound super positive and like you are on the right path no matter how bumpy. I feel really grateful for the fellowship I have found in these forums and when I look at my own path I can see people like yourself moving along doing similar things and it helps me to know that I am not alone.

I think it is terrific to be true to one's own self (to thine own self be true) because at the end of the day the only person looking in the mirror at me is me. I can't live my life for others anymore and I can't worry what may happen if I let myself just be me. Other people will do/say/be who they are or what they want. I just want to be happy and I wish you and everyone the same!

Take care and thanks for the post,

Kael

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Hey everyone,

Thanks, it does feel good and your right internal confidence makes the person and so far so good and it is good to hear of success stories that happen outside of hormones, i find them some of the things that help pull you through, i know it did for me. as well as the support and just being myself and doing what i need to do, even if it means dancing like a flailing bird, doing what makes you happy...i learnt that the hard way

Eric

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Hi Eric!

Congrats!

Thanks so much for sharing!

Brad

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