Jump to content

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Guest Alexx21

feel bad

Recommended Posts

Guest Alexx21

Am feeling really bad just now really wanting to drink but its 11.21 pm and thankfully the shops stop selling drink at 10.30 pm....there is no pub for miles ... so here i am thinking about wanting the taste of it

but cant do a damn thing about it

I cant get to An AA meeting that is open until saturday i need an open meeting so my husband can come with me as i have very bad social anxiety and my mental health isnt good right now

there is so much going on right now that i have to deal with there is my mum she has cervical cancer ,she has had treatment and had a scan , she get the results of it on the 7th of march am really worried about her.

There is also the lost of my dad in september i still feel like he is going to show up at my mums house every time am there. i miss him and the way he died as well he killed himself and i just think to my self i could have talked to him about how he was feeling ...maybe he wouldnt have died.

As i said before my mental health isnt good right now i have what my husband calls paranoid delusions

I believe that there are spies doing things to my food ,water and medication they also put a chip in my arm but i cant get it out of there. The spies do other things as well i also have voices witch tell me to hurt people thats why i cant go to an AA meeting on my own just in case i hurt someone.

Am really scared right now

Share this post


Link to post
JJ

It is a lot to deal with. But you know that there are people who love you and are there trying to help and protect you. Think about them. About the love that is around you .

As far as drinking-I am not as familiar with AA anymore but isn't there someone from AA you can call for help when it gets rough? Or can you talk to your husband?

You'll make it through. Just think about the good things and hang on.

You have been through a lot this year and it took a toll but in time it will heal. The bad times do pass eventually and you are very lucky to have your husband to be there for you

Hug!

Johnny

Share this post


Link to post
Guest Gregg Jameson

Hi Alexx,

I am sorry you are feeling so much stress at this time.

You must be very concerned about you mom's cervical cancer.

You'd lost your dad in September? That was not very long ago. You are likely still going through grief for having lost him.

I am very sorry he had committed suicide. Often, loved ones feel tremendous loss...and lots of guilt, thinking they could have prevented the suicide. Alex, I totally understand some of how you may feel about your dad's suicide, as my dad also committed suicide years ago now. That had haunted me for a very long time. I had wanted to somehow save him from his inner pain and could not. I could not stop him from his suicide. It left me deeply saddened. We have to understand that we could not stop anyone from suicide if that is what they have truly decided to do. Sad, but true. We cannot hold ourselves responsible for choices other make for themselves. If your dad could talk with you now, I am sure he'd ask you to not blame yourself for his choices.

It is not unusual for us to feel someone whom has passed might suddenly show up when we are in their homes, etc.

We have not gotten used to them being gone yet, so our minds even sometimes think we see them, or think we are about to see them. We also have many memories about them in their home environments, sitting in their favorite chair, having a certain place at the table, engaging in certain activities around the house, etc. I'll bet your dad is one of your guardian angels now. :D

It's additionally stressful to now wonder how your mother will do with cervical cancer.

I am sorry for so much stress in such a small time period in your life. Please be gentle with yourself.

In a recent post you had written, you had mentioned going to see your doctor soon. I think you have had that appointment now and I hope it was helpful to you?

I am glad you can, and do, reach out when feeling scared. I hope your husband is home with you?

What are some of the things you can do that make you feel comforted when you are scared?

Your AA meeting is not too many days away now. Are you looking forward to this gathering?

Do you have a sponsor at AA whom you may call? Do you have friends at AA whom you may call?

I am sorry you are experiencing paranoid delusions. This adds an extra challenge for you right now.

Let us know how you are doing?

Again, Alexx, I hope you will be gentle with yourself. :friends:

Comforting Hugs to you,

Brad

Share this post


Link to post
Michelle 2010

Alexx Check PM.

Michelle

Share this post


Link to post
Guest Alexx21

thank you all ... i seen my dr and my psych there keeping me on medication dose that am on now.

the AA meeting is tomorrow at 5.30 pm i really need to go to that one but my sister is having relisonship problems with her boyfriend/ex boy friend and am unsure if she is coming up on saterday or not , but i think she has the kids on saturday so i can make the meeting ok i think.

i have support of my husband he is brillant very supportive but i think i ask too much of him some times he supports me through my mental health m y mums cancer and my dads death ...he has time to himself and plays games but some times i think its too much for him he has his own mental health to think about as well

As for AA i dont really have anyones number that i can call at the moment apart from one person and she is having a hard time right now with her own mental health and recovery

Michelle i pm'd you back

Alexx

Share this post


Link to post
Guest RavenandJacob

You have a lot to put up with but remember how alcohol never really helps. It only numbs the problem before making it worse. I remember when my dad was trying to sober up. Every slip-up would send everyone back to the depression.

Please don't allow yourself to slip up. Do whatever you can to distract yourself. Find more hobbies, call someone, or get on the chatrooms here, even, to occupy your time until the cravings go away.

This might be cliche, but remember that you're never alone.

Share this post


Link to post

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • Who's Online   2 Members, 0 Anonymous, 8 Guests (See full list)

    • Kyle
    • MaryEllen
  • Topics With Zero Replies

  • Posts

    • Charlize
      Seat belts are not required but highly advised.  Actually i took me time to feel much and even then changes were slow and subtle.  Enjoy your journey!   Hugs,   Charlize
    • Timber Wolf
      Oh my gosh, I love it! Like stepping into a bygone era!   Lots of love, Timber Wolf🐾
    • Charlize
      This is my other baby.  It's a "52 chevy 1 ton flatbed that we use mostly for farm markets.   Hugs,   Charlize
    • Cbxshawn
      Congratulations, get ready for the ride and hold on. I started HRT about 14 months ago at 41. I have loved every minute of my journey thus far. I won't lie, it's a roller coaster. Good luck on your journey and do keep us posted.    Hugs    Shawnna 
    • Shiratori
      My GP finally received the confirmation from Daventry GIC to prescribe hormones for me. I'll be on leuprorelin injections to stop production of T and estradiol valerate tablets. Shame I have to wait until after the weekend for the pharmacy to get them in, but I've waited this long so a few more days don't matter too much. Looks like I'll be on HRT in time for my 46th birthday on Wednesday.
    • amanda is cute MK3
      I have 2010 CRV  i did drive for years my parents 3/4 ton gm van and then their 1 ton dodge van.  i do have a thing for military trucks  i like the M809 series and some of the large german and russian trucks  
    • TessaOKC
      Here we go again Carolyn!!! You throw meaningful articles out there that usually result in really good  debates, thank you !!!   I have read two books by Jen Boylan and she is as real as they get. I also like that she's from Maine !!   The listed article really hit home while reading a quote from Kristen Beck, “What you wear, what color you are, your religion, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, gender identity has no basis on whether you are a criminal or not.”  Yes indeed. I support Eric Snowden and the courage it took for him to expose unprecedented abuses of power by the United States. His motives were clear, his intentions were more than obvious. Perhaps I still need more understanding,  but I have yet to wrap my head around the motives and intentions of the information released by Chelsea Manning...??? All I do know is that there is a sea of negativism surrounding her  and now her unqualified run for public office.   I spend hours every week at the  VA hospital attending LGBT group meetings. The horrible comments and ridicule I see on a weekly basis toward our transgender Vets walking the halls is unmatched by what I have experienced in public. A good friend straightened me out on this. He says the VA is filled with  right wingers. Yes it appears this is true. Since this whole Chelsea Manning running for Senate thing started it has gotten even worse, trust me!   I have posted on this site previously  that I merely wish Manning could be grateful for being free and go live a quiet, happy  and public free life. Jen Boylan echos this. I oh- so- admire the piss and vinegar Manning has but she is in fact a convicted felon embodied in a sea of perceived public hatred.   Like the hateful Vets at the VA, I don't think we will ever change their minds about accepting trans humans. . Not in this lifetime. Say what you will but it is my true belief that we need positive examples. Though she's not my favorite but Kristen Beck is right up there. Retired Navy Seal that served with honor and distinction. The author of this article, Professor Jennifer Boylan is another. This list goes on and on, doctors, lawyers, politicians, successful entrepreneurs . I support Chelsea manning as a trans woman and human being. I do not support her for a  Senate run, and her public exposure merely adds fuel to the fire of hatred already directed toward innocent trans people like me and you ......   In the brutal world of public opinion there is a saying; "Its not what you are but what people think you are."  I love and deeply respect our transgender community. You will never find such courageous people as represented in the transgender world. We proudly serve in  every profession, military branch, labor force and service industries. We never ask for recognition or a pat on the back, all most of us want is to be allowed to live our authentic lives free of murder, rape and ridicule.  Is Manning helping that cause?? What is your opinion??   Sincerely,   Tess
    • Gwen
      Thanks for your thoughts and especially this, Laura Beth. Many of us may have faced clues along the way and didn't understand them until much later in life. It wasn't until I came out to myself, with the help of a therapist, that the confusion I faced throughout my life finally made sense. And yes, the future is brighter.   Gwen
    • Timber Wolf
      Good morning everyone!❤   Happy Birthday rorylm!🎂 Hope you have a wonderful day!   Lots of love, Timber Wolf🐾
    • Charlize
      Ms. Boylan has such an honest rational voice.  Manning's candidacy may or not be helpful for our community.  It may go nowhere but she does have every reason to be angry. In my opinion did little more than was done by reporters in the past who were actually able to report what they saw during Viet Nam rather than only reciting what they were told by the military.   Many may not agree with me about that and that is fine but allowing us to see some of the atrocities of the war was in some ways an heroic, if illegal, act.  That being said i'm certainly not sure that makes her any more qualified for office than being a slumlord in NY does.   Hugs,   Charlize  
  • Today's Birthdays

    No users celebrating today
  • Upcoming Events

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      64,703
    • Total Posts
      585,799
  • TransPulse Partners

×